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Day 42:
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Day 44:
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Reading through your journal, I’m so impressed by your journey my dude. You’re killing the game. I’m glad you know this is a particularly high-stress and dangerous time for you without anybody in the house with you. Keep moving with that knowledge of past pitfalls in mind. Excited to see you hit two months soon as well!
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Cheers my dude, its been a hell of a journey so far but I'm glad i've come this far. Cant wait to see all your progress and see you get to two+ months too. You've got this
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Day 49:
Last night was tough, had a long day of catching up with friends and family over the weekend and as much fun as it was, it was also mentally draining.
I couldn't sleep so I went on some porn sites for about five minutes, for a few minutes I forgot about my journey and got sucked back into that world, but I didn't masturbate, instead, I turned my phone off and fell asleep to anime.
Most of today has been spent reflecting on what porn has done to my brain and how I view women.
Always wanting one that somewhat fits the criteria of what I watch, never truly being happy with what I have and the sex life which has always been important to me.
Its all been a giant confusing mess when it comes to sex, love and relationships lately. Never really knowing if what I want will truly make me happy or how to be happier with what I have.
Life goes on and time will tell. As long as I haven't relapsed, I'm happy enough and winning
Last night was tough, had a long day of catching up with friends and family over the weekend and as much fun as it was, it was also mentally draining.
I couldn't sleep so I went on some porn sites for about five minutes, for a few minutes I forgot about my journey and got sucked back into that world, but I didn't masturbate, instead, I turned my phone off and fell asleep to anime.
Most of today has been spent reflecting on what porn has done to my brain and how I view women.
Always wanting one that somewhat fits the criteria of what I watch, never truly being happy with what I have and the sex life which has always been important to me.
Its all been a giant confusing mess when it comes to sex, love and relationships lately. Never really knowing if what I want will truly make me happy or how to be happier with what I have.
Life goes on and time will tell. As long as I haven't relapsed, I'm happy enough and winning
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Day 51:
Finally made it to a week with the house to myself and no masturbating and very very minimal porn due to stress at the time but thats no excuse.
With the way things are going, I can see that porn doesnt have much of a hold over me as it used to. The main thing I need to get over now is a secret guilty pleasure to stop looking at a certain girls instagram. I've seen her at the gym a few times in the past and she usually posts very tempting images with the type of body that I lust over. If I'm to have full control over this whole situation, I cant be weak around images of other women, even if they have the "ideal body" I've always wanted in a partner.
Although ive deleted the IG app from my phone, I still occasionally go on the website to message friends and stalk her images.
Fantasizing about other women like her brings my mood down and makes me have negative thoughts about my partner. we've come a long way from where we were when we started and I don't want to let my fantasies ruin that.
By the time we hit the new year, itll be exactly 2 months clean. Im happy about my self control of the situation and cant wait until all this is behind me.
Finally made it to a week with the house to myself and no masturbating and very very minimal porn due to stress at the time but thats no excuse.
With the way things are going, I can see that porn doesnt have much of a hold over me as it used to. The main thing I need to get over now is a secret guilty pleasure to stop looking at a certain girls instagram. I've seen her at the gym a few times in the past and she usually posts very tempting images with the type of body that I lust over. If I'm to have full control over this whole situation, I cant be weak around images of other women, even if they have the "ideal body" I've always wanted in a partner.
Although ive deleted the IG app from my phone, I still occasionally go on the website to message friends and stalk her images.
Fantasizing about other women like her brings my mood down and makes me have negative thoughts about my partner. we've come a long way from where we were when we started and I don't want to let my fantasies ruin that.
By the time we hit the new year, itll be exactly 2 months clean. Im happy about my self control of the situation and cant wait until all this is behind me.
cookiemonster
Active Member
Great work mate.
I want to describe what I've been experiencing for the past 3 weeks in the hope it might help you too.
I want to say "I have a zero tolerance policy thinking about pornographic content" but it's not quite that. Deep down I've acknowledged the fact that I'm genuinely working towards having that chapter completely behind me, so my I feel like my brain is sort of helping me in the sense that even if those sorts of thoughts arise, I don't grab onto them, I just let them float by. So I don't force myself to not think about porn and fantasize etc, it's just that I deep down don't want to, and it's softened its effect. If I see a cute girl on social media I smile and acknowledge the fact that she's attractive but I don't linger there, I acknowledge it and move on.
At least that's how it's been going so far. Who knows what's to come but let's believe in ourselves
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That's actually a great idea considering it's something I do when I meditate sometimes. Not sure why I've never tried it with this.Great work mate.
I want to describe what I've been experiencing for the past 3 weeks in the hope it might help you too.
I want to say "I have a zero tolerance policy thinking about pornographic content" but it's not quite that. Deep down I've acknowledged the fact that I'm genuinely working towards having that chapter completely behind me, so my I feel like my brain is sort of helping me in the sense that even if those sorts of thoughts arise, I don't grab onto them, I just let them float by. So I don't force myself to not think about porn and fantasize etc, it's just that I deep down don't want to, and it's softened its effect. If I see a cute girl on social media I smile and acknowledge the fact that she's attractive but I don't linger there, I acknowledge it and move on.
At least that's how it's been going so far. Who knows what's to come but let's believe in ourselves
Thanks for pointing that out bro!!
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Day 62:
Happy New Year y'all.
Haven't had many or any urges recently, and I barely think about anything porn related.
I feel more confident about using social media without having to look up anything tempting but its still a massive waste of time being on there.
Exercise: None, been on holiday for the last week
Mood: 7/10
Sleep: Holiday mode so all over the place but plan to change that tonight
Communication: Good, talked to my partner about a few things I had on my mind regarding our relationship and we worked it out
Time outside house: A lot, went travelling around parts of the country for the last week which was nice.
Overall its all going well, giving myself till the end of today to do nothing before I get back on track for my goals.
Hope everyone has had some good holidays!
Happy New Year y'all.
Haven't had many or any urges recently, and I barely think about anything porn related.
I feel more confident about using social media without having to look up anything tempting but its still a massive waste of time being on there.
Exercise: None, been on holiday for the last week
Mood: 7/10
Sleep: Holiday mode so all over the place but plan to change that tonight
Communication: Good, talked to my partner about a few things I had on my mind regarding our relationship and we worked it out
Time outside house: A lot, went travelling around parts of the country for the last week which was nice.
Overall its all going well, giving myself till the end of today to do nothing before I get back on track for my goals.
Hope everyone has had some good holidays!
Hey man not spoke for a while. I just saw your thread and realised I haven't posted on it. I think its great the progress you've made but most importantly the fact you've continued to come back to this forum evening during the GOOD times. I suppose recovery from this will be a never-ending process!!!
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@ogx123xx Thanks my dude, sometimes I still cant believe how far Ive come and how bad I let porn get a hold of me in the past. This might sound a bit cheesy but, I owe it all to consistency and wanting to see myself in a better place mentally more than anything.
Its very much worth going through all the rough part of the process to get to here. I know I still have a while to go before I can feel more content about where I am and my relationship with sex and porn
Its very much worth going through all the rough part of the process to get to here. I know I still have a while to go before I can feel more content about where I am and my relationship with sex and porn
its not cheesy, consistency must be key!? I mean people are relapsing on day 600 - surely, yet sadly, this means that we've got to keep an eye out not to fall into the hole again.
There's more to life than an orgasm to porn. Hell, there is more to life than an orgasm with a partner, but at least orgasming with a partner will lead to closer relationships, more fulfillment, and simply a greater sense of wellbeing. Whereas orgasm to porn does nothing for us as people - literally nothing but a very short-lived 'high'. It will escalate and reap greater havoc on other areas of our lives.
Well done
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Day 68:
I'm about to reach the 70 day mark which is where I relapsed last time.
After everything I've been through in this journey I feel confident about my success so far and dont have any feeling to relapse again. I feel like I have more important things to worry about in my life than being a porn addict. This habit was fun for a while but we all know what the long term effects it has on us and our minds.
Although I'm still very much attracted to the type of women I used to watch and lust over them, I dont intend to go back to where I was in the past and let porn get a hold of me again.
I'm about to reach the 70 day mark which is where I relapsed last time.
After everything I've been through in this journey I feel confident about my success so far and dont have any feeling to relapse again. I feel like I have more important things to worry about in my life than being a porn addict. This habit was fun for a while but we all know what the long term effects it has on us and our minds.
Although I'm still very much attracted to the type of women I used to watch and lust over them, I dont intend to go back to where I was in the past and let porn get a hold of me again.
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Day 71:
Almost fell off-track a couple of days ago. Thought it'd be a good idea to test how I would react to seeing porn again and spent over 10 minutes on some sites. Just glad I had the self control to realize what I was doing and not get sucked in deeper.
No more tests like that, I don't need to check how I react to porn and I don't want to mess up my progress after coming this far.
I've had no urges to go back to it, but I'll be staying more aware over the next few weeks.
Almost fell off-track a couple of days ago. Thought it'd be a good idea to test how I would react to seeing porn again and spent over 10 minutes on some sites. Just glad I had the self control to realize what I was doing and not get sucked in deeper.
No more tests like that, I don't need to check how I react to porn and I don't want to mess up my progress after coming this far.
I've had no urges to go back to it, but I'll be staying more aware over the next few weeks.
cookiemonster
Active Member
Yeah man zero tolerance for porn sites is the only way to do this I think. We've just got to own the fact we ended up addicted in some form and now can't go near it.
Hey @Lord Gohan, your journal was one of the first that I came across when checking out these forums and I wanted to let you know that you inspired me to make my first post. You've shown incredible maturity and I've really appreciated reading through about your journey. Keep up the great work, man. Reaching 70 days is admirable (and doing it twice even more so)! I also really appreciate your dedication to zero tolerance policy @cookiemonster pointed out. I've realized that's the stance that I need to take to start getting better.
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Thanks @dopaminer , means a lot that I can inspire you and hopefully others to take steps towards getting rid of this addiction. Couldn't have done it without the support of so many others on here. Its the people and support that really kept me accountable, like I didnt want to let myself and the others down.
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73:
The force is strong this morning, haven't felt urges like this in a while but its definitely manageable.
Im trying to stop vaping and smoking and its been a bit hard, I stopped the vape but I've had a couple of cigarettes, it's weird because I never used to smoke them before and I only liked vaping for the flavor and now its hard to get off.
If I had to choose, I'd go back to vaping/smoking over porn as its the lesser of two evils. Ill try my best to not smoke anything today but who knows how Ill feel when I go catch up with friends.
Just wanted to post here long enough for the porn urges to disappear.
The force is strong this morning, haven't felt urges like this in a while but its definitely manageable.
Im trying to stop vaping and smoking and its been a bit hard, I stopped the vape but I've had a couple of cigarettes, it's weird because I never used to smoke them before and I only liked vaping for the flavor and now its hard to get off.
If I had to choose, I'd go back to vaping/smoking over porn as its the lesser of two evils. Ill try my best to not smoke anything today but who knows how Ill feel when I go catch up with friends.
Just wanted to post here long enough for the porn urges to disappear.