So last couple of days have been rough for me. We had the big discussion about my emotional affair I had with my best (female) friend and how it didn’t happen because of anything she did wrong but because of my own insecurities and baggage. Of course she wanted to know why I didn’t turn to her when she was giving me the support I needed and why she wasn’t good enough. This cut me to my core. I was such a idiot and so clueless. She says she doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to move on from this. I desperately want to reconcile things and be able to fix our marriage but right now is looking not so good. But silver lining I haven’t backslid into PMO so small victories right? Anyways just needed to get that off my chest. I really appreciate all of you.
Dealing with marriage problems myself right now so I am really feeling you here. It hasn't sent me back either and I'm feeling stronger because of it. When it comes down to it, no matter what has happened in our relationships, it is still up to us and only us to solve this issue. Support is great, it makes things easier. But for me, all the baggage in my marriage would just hold back my recovery. Some of my biggest problems in my relationship stem from my wife wanting to control everything, what money I spend, how I spend my time, how I eat, exercise and more. It's exhausting. I can't have her telling me how to fix this. If it was her supporting me, that would be great, but believe me that is not how it would go.
So, good luck with your marriage. I'm not sure mine is something I can save and I'm really questioning if I want to save it at all. I'm tired. Just like I was tired of the porn life. I had enough. I'm feeling that way about my marriage right now as well.