The Porn Takeoff
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Takeoff
Member
May was terrible but I decided to get a grip and quit drugs. Been sober for over 2 weeks, had quite a withdrawal but I managed to go through it. I've been focusing on the positive things. I've been following my supplementation plan, similar to the one I used during my greatest streaks. I've been pretty active physically.
When it comes to P it seems to get worse and worse though. I definitely have PIED again. Checked a couple days ago and couldn't get a proper erection without fantasizing. I find that PIED seems to be at its worst for quite some time after quitting, on days during which there is P exposure it is less noticeable because the exposure still makes it work.
Last week I was doing fine. Then I failed, I PMO'd but the next day was all good, and the next one also, unitl a friend sent me a Twitter link. I normally totally avoid them as I know that seeing the platform in itself used to be a trigger, but recently there were times when I was just fine and it didn't trigger me, therefore I opened it. Comments on the post he sent me contained some serious triggers and that was it. I closed twitter but my brain was already in the triggered state. Some time later I caught myself googling random stuff that to my p-wired brain were somehow arousing. It was nowhere near sexual at first. But for me it was a trigger, the urge kept getting stronger and stronger, PMO.
The next day I was all good, no P exposure at all, no P thoughts even! And the next, which is today, I was watching some video on YouTube and in the comments there was a direct reference to a particular P genre. That was a trigger and it went bad quick.
My brain is constantly bombarded with P thoughts. I know that it is like that during the inital days after quitting, even for a couple weeks, as I have experienced the same thing in the past, but it seems as if it was easier to cope with back then.
At this point I know I have terrible PIED again, just like 2 years ago. I'm doing my best but anything can be a trigger for me. These compulsive thoughts, as if everything was about sex. I've experienced exactly that 2 years ago. I say to myself that I now have a good mindset and it's all good, 2 days later I slip. That is something I haven't experienced back then. However, I know I just have to power through it and it will get better.
I have terrible mindfog now, barely able to form thoughts.
However, I am very glad I managed to kick conventional drugs, I think it is a huge step. I think it's only going to get better from now on. It must.
When it comes to P it seems to get worse and worse though. I definitely have PIED again. Checked a couple days ago and couldn't get a proper erection without fantasizing. I find that PIED seems to be at its worst for quite some time after quitting, on days during which there is P exposure it is less noticeable because the exposure still makes it work.
Last week I was doing fine. Then I failed, I PMO'd but the next day was all good, and the next one also, unitl a friend sent me a Twitter link. I normally totally avoid them as I know that seeing the platform in itself used to be a trigger, but recently there were times when I was just fine and it didn't trigger me, therefore I opened it. Comments on the post he sent me contained some serious triggers and that was it. I closed twitter but my brain was already in the triggered state. Some time later I caught myself googling random stuff that to my p-wired brain were somehow arousing. It was nowhere near sexual at first. But for me it was a trigger, the urge kept getting stronger and stronger, PMO.
The next day I was all good, no P exposure at all, no P thoughts even! And the next, which is today, I was watching some video on YouTube and in the comments there was a direct reference to a particular P genre. That was a trigger and it went bad quick.
My brain is constantly bombarded with P thoughts. I know that it is like that during the inital days after quitting, even for a couple weeks, as I have experienced the same thing in the past, but it seems as if it was easier to cope with back then.
At this point I know I have terrible PIED again, just like 2 years ago. I'm doing my best but anything can be a trigger for me. These compulsive thoughts, as if everything was about sex. I've experienced exactly that 2 years ago. I say to myself that I now have a good mindset and it's all good, 2 days later I slip. That is something I haven't experienced back then. However, I know I just have to power through it and it will get better.
I have terrible mindfog now, barely able to form thoughts.
However, I am very glad I managed to kick conventional drugs, I think it is a huge step. I think it's only going to get better from now on. It must.
Takeoff
Member
Yeah, all that is true.
I find that whenever my P usage drops or I quit altogether, I begin to indulge in other pointless activities for the dopamine, such as scrolling through stuff on the phone forever, wasting hours. It becomes very habitual. So yesterday I turned off my phone and didn't use it today. Got on the computer because I had a certain thing to do. I've been doing more and more activities which don't involve electronics, such as reading books regularly, going out etc.
The brainfog is terrible, but I know that it is temporary and after it fades, the mind is way sharper and quicker than before.
Coping with the urges is the real problem though. Once I am triggered it's like there's no way to stop. I go and do some exercise but afterwards it's not much better. So I think not having the phone on the whole time will help with this.
I find that whenever my P usage drops or I quit altogether, I begin to indulge in other pointless activities for the dopamine, such as scrolling through stuff on the phone forever, wasting hours. It becomes very habitual. So yesterday I turned off my phone and didn't use it today. Got on the computer because I had a certain thing to do. I've been doing more and more activities which don't involve electronics, such as reading books regularly, going out etc.
The brainfog is terrible, but I know that it is temporary and after it fades, the mind is way sharper and quicker than before.
Coping with the urges is the real problem though. Once I am triggered it's like there's no way to stop. I go and do some exercise but afterwards it's not much better. So I think not having the phone on the whole time will help with this.
Have you ever experimented with cold showers? Or ice baths?
Takeoff
Member
Yes, I've been taking them regularly. During my greatest streaks there was not a day on which I'd miss a cold shower.
Nowadays I might miss maybe a couple days in the month, but aside from that, I take them everyday.
I set the temperature to the very minimum.
I'll be going to a place where I can stay for quite some time without access to the computer, I'd keep the phone turned off most of the time and not take it with me when I go on walks etc.
Nowadays I might miss maybe a couple days in the month, but aside from that, I take them everyday.
I set the temperature to the very minimum.
I'll be going to a place where I can stay for quite some time without access to the computer, I'd keep the phone turned off most of the time and not take it with me when I go on walks etc.
Takeoff
Member
Doing great.
Today, after I woke up, morning wood didn't want to go away for an hour and a half which was a bit crazy. It's a good sign.
I haven't listened to music once since Sunday, possibly the biggest gap in years because I normally do it all the time.
I feel like limiting that also helps the brain to regulate itself quicker because there's even fewer dopamine-hit sources (dopamine plays a role in the reward experience induced by music). It seems to really make the initial days easier.
Today, after I woke up, morning wood didn't want to go away for an hour and a half which was a bit crazy. It's a good sign.
I haven't listened to music once since Sunday, possibly the biggest gap in years because I normally do it all the time.
I feel like limiting that also helps the brain to regulate itself quicker because there's even fewer dopamine-hit sources (dopamine plays a role in the reward experience induced by music). It seems to really make the initial days easier.
Ouch! Unfortunately, you can’t wait until you feel like doing something. Because the things you need to do, that you don’t feel like doing, are what generally help relieve withdrawal symptoms.
So get out there, take a walk, do exercise, socialize, etc. you will feel better.
It’s amazing isn’t it, that a behavioral addiction can cause some of the same withdrawal symptoms as a substance addiction?
Takeoff
Member
Look guys, I've experienced a certain trigger for the first time. It was a new feeling.
I'd been socializing for a couple days straight, from morning until the evening. That made me feel extraordinarily good.
But then, in the end of they day I lay in bed alone and felt so awfully depleted, I would even call that feeling somewhat reminiscent of dysphoria. It'd been going on for hours, I couldn't fall asleep. Breathing exercises didn't help it. I felt like my head was empty, just so awfully depleted. At last it triggered me to PMO. Since then I've been experiencing a bit of a setback. Until this situation took place I wasn't tempted to watch P, it was going very well.
Now I have a terrible brain fog. It's incredibly hard to focus, to find words in my mind or to learn new stuff. This makes me feel terrible, lowers my self-esteem and that in turn triggers me to repeat the thing. I just feel so stupid!
But the main issue is I keep slipping up... Yet yesterday I thought of it this way, there's still enough days in this year for me to beat my official record when it comes to streaks.
I'd been socializing for a couple days straight, from morning until the evening. That made me feel extraordinarily good.
But then, in the end of they day I lay in bed alone and felt so awfully depleted, I would even call that feeling somewhat reminiscent of dysphoria. It'd been going on for hours, I couldn't fall asleep. Breathing exercises didn't help it. I felt like my head was empty, just so awfully depleted. At last it triggered me to PMO. Since then I've been experiencing a bit of a setback. Until this situation took place I wasn't tempted to watch P, it was going very well.
Now I have a terrible brain fog. It's incredibly hard to focus, to find words in my mind or to learn new stuff. This makes me feel terrible, lowers my self-esteem and that in turn triggers me to repeat the thing. I just feel so stupid!
But the main issue is I keep slipping up... Yet yesterday I thought of it this way, there's still enough days in this year for me to beat my official record when it comes to streaks.
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Takeoff
Member
Hello
I've got through day 2. I've been having a lot of WD symptoms at once, which I didn't really expect. Apart from the 'typical' psychological state, physical symptoms are very prominent. Slight fever, joint stiffness, muscle cramps, lack of energy, loss of appetite, elevated heartbeat at times.
In July my best streak was 7 days.
I've got through day 2. I've been having a lot of WD symptoms at once, which I didn't really expect. Apart from the 'typical' psychological state, physical symptoms are very prominent. Slight fever, joint stiffness, muscle cramps, lack of energy, loss of appetite, elevated heartbeat at times.
In July my best streak was 7 days.
I’m sorry you’re suffering. The only good thing about withdrawal symptoms is that they do pass…eventually.