Porn is not an option
- Thread starter Blondie
- Start date
Blondie
Respected Member
I found this quote today; I thought it was great.
“Watch your thoughts, they become words; Watch your words, they become actions; Watch your actions, they become habits; Watch your habits, they become character; Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” - Frank Outlaw
“Watch your thoughts, they become words; Watch your words, they become actions; Watch your actions, they become habits; Watch your habits, they become character; Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” - Frank Outlaw
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 196
Yesterday was pretty bad. I had my health issue (that I've mentioned here before) come back again with a vengeance. I'm feeling quite depressed and down at the moment to be truthful. I haven't been tempted as of yet, but I need to be very mindful because it's times like this when I have failed in the past. Quitting porn for me is not a problem these days. However, going back to it in times of pain or unhappiness, that is my greatest problem and challenge
While I was cooking breakfast this morning, I had to remind myself, it could always be worse. If I fucked up right now, not only would I have this health issue but I would experience all the mental pain and shame that comes with looking at porn. My day is already bad enough, why the hell would I want to make it any worse?
Porn it not an option.
Stay strong everyone. Remember, If you're only 1 day out, 60 days out, or even almost 200 days out, porn will never fix any of our problems. And the sooner we understand that concept, the sooner we can experience life on its own terms. Life may not always be pretty, but it's always prettier on this side of the fence.
I write all of this to remind myself.
Yesterday was pretty bad. I had my health issue (that I've mentioned here before) come back again with a vengeance. I'm feeling quite depressed and down at the moment to be truthful. I haven't been tempted as of yet, but I need to be very mindful because it's times like this when I have failed in the past. Quitting porn for me is not a problem these days. However, going back to it in times of pain or unhappiness, that is my greatest problem and challenge
While I was cooking breakfast this morning, I had to remind myself, it could always be worse. If I fucked up right now, not only would I have this health issue but I would experience all the mental pain and shame that comes with looking at porn. My day is already bad enough, why the hell would I want to make it any worse?
Porn it not an option.
Stay strong everyone. Remember, If you're only 1 day out, 60 days out, or even almost 200 days out, porn will never fix any of our problems. And the sooner we understand that concept, the sooner we can experience life on its own terms. Life may not always be pretty, but it's always prettier on this side of the fence.
I write all of this to remind myself.
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particularly_respecting
Active Member
Great attitude for getting through tough times - inspirational as ever @Blondie!
It's in the tough times that we get to test the strength of our defenses
And it seems you have very strong resolve
Hope you're feeling better now. Keep giving it hell!
Sorry for what you're going through, Blondie, though I may not have caught your earlier reference to this health issue...
Like yourself, it's times of emotional (and in this case, physical) challenges that bring the possibility of our former habits to the surface- and, they're never an option, they only increase and deepen our problems.
Standing with you in this tough time, in my own meager way. Wishing you health and strength.
Like yourself, it's times of emotional (and in this case, physical) challenges that bring the possibility of our former habits to the surface- and, they're never an option, they only increase and deepen our problems.
Standing with you in this tough time, in my own meager way. Wishing you health and strength.
Onmyway19
Active Member
Facts. Keep pressing on and hope you feel better soon.
SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
Great stuff! Glad you powered through!
particularly_respecting
Active Member
One day out from 200 days! Amazing!
Blondie
Respected Member
Day 200
Thank you Particulary_respecting!
I am a little stressed today with finals approaching, but 200 days porn free will make me smile whenever I think of it. It is great again to have that many days behind me, but I know this journey has a long ways to go. The lady and I haven't tried to have sex this week (probably because I've hardly felt horney) so I think my flatline is still marching forward. Compared to when I first started writing here months ago, It's nice to know I'm not stressing out about this fact. To be in a flatline now means my body is cleansing itself - like a rainstorm washing away all the scum in the streets. These are pleasing thoughts indeed. I've also noticed more dreams these last few days, which I never have when looking at porn.
Reading someone's journey about an extremely long recovery time, https://forum.rebootnation.org/index.php?threads/22066/#post-233674, was very inspiring and made me think how long will mine be? Though my case is not even close to severe as this one, I do wonder about the length of my recovery. Having gone 500 something days before, I know my dick will be completely functioning within the next six months, if not sooner. Practically speaking though, sex is successful every time we try, he just might not be 100% hard that's all. However, moving beyond my dick's functionality, how long will it take for everything else? I'm thinking two years altogether. That would be six months past my last record and thus, another year and half.
Although I did screw up after 500 something days porn free, at that time, I did feel I was becoming a different man. But in the end, complacency got me. Looking back on it now, I think those old neurological pathways were still too fresh in my brain to overcome one really bad month in my life. And I had forgot my mantra, Porn is not an option. Thus, I theorize after 2 years porn free, hopefully I will have completely put this part of my life behind me.
Well it looks like I've ran out of time. And because recovery is not about staying away from something but actually living life and working on your goals (something I've learned this time around) I will get going for now.
Stay strong everyone!
Thank you Particulary_respecting!
I am a little stressed today with finals approaching, but 200 days porn free will make me smile whenever I think of it. It is great again to have that many days behind me, but I know this journey has a long ways to go. The lady and I haven't tried to have sex this week (probably because I've hardly felt horney) so I think my flatline is still marching forward. Compared to when I first started writing here months ago, It's nice to know I'm not stressing out about this fact. To be in a flatline now means my body is cleansing itself - like a rainstorm washing away all the scum in the streets. These are pleasing thoughts indeed. I've also noticed more dreams these last few days, which I never have when looking at porn.
Reading someone's journey about an extremely long recovery time, https://forum.rebootnation.org/index.php?threads/22066/#post-233674, was very inspiring and made me think how long will mine be? Though my case is not even close to severe as this one, I do wonder about the length of my recovery. Having gone 500 something days before, I know my dick will be completely functioning within the next six months, if not sooner. Practically speaking though, sex is successful every time we try, he just might not be 100% hard that's all. However, moving beyond my dick's functionality, how long will it take for everything else? I'm thinking two years altogether. That would be six months past my last record and thus, another year and half.
Although I did screw up after 500 something days porn free, at that time, I did feel I was becoming a different man. But in the end, complacency got me. Looking back on it now, I think those old neurological pathways were still too fresh in my brain to overcome one really bad month in my life. And I had forgot my mantra, Porn is not an option. Thus, I theorize after 2 years porn free, hopefully I will have completely put this part of my life behind me.
Well it looks like I've ran out of time. And because recovery is not about staying away from something but actually living life and working on your goals (something I've learned this time around) I will get going for now.
Stay strong everyone!
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SmokenMirrors
Well-Known Member
200 days! That is a legendary streak! You should be immensely proud of yourself, this is such an inspiring thread for people in the early days of their reboot. You're the modern day William!
Congrats on 200 days, Blondie! You're a different man now, than you were when you were 500+ days in. Like you said, you're learning on a deeper level now, about living life and not just the avoidance of behaviors. This is the real training for when it counts: living the day to day, with its good and bad, and yet still being that person you want to be...!
We all had those faulty coping methods before, but now we're training ourselves to face life on its terms, without running or escaping, and you're proving to be the real warrior in this regard.
Here's to another 200!
downhillfromhere
Well-Known Member
Congratulations on 200 days!
Jswizzle
Active Member
Blondie,
Congratulations
on breaking your old streak. Truly inspiring!!! Glad you are reading and making effort to make changes stick. Keep going brother 
.
Blondie
Respected Member
"You're the modern day William!" lol William who? This made me laugh.