Finally sick and tired of being sick and tired

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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Last night, it came to my mind that this is life. This is a lifestyle. This way is the way everyone should live and feel. If I relapse then all I'm doing is giving these positive feelings back to pmo and receiving back the bad ones that I lived with since 2017. The confidence, the genuine happiness, the awesome morning wood I had this morning, the better sense of self worth and a clear mind. For me, these last 20 something days have been different than any other attempt because it's finally clicked that I feel good. I genuinely and honestly feel joyful and good. I'm not in a fog of pmo depression and anxiety. I'm not plagued by low self worth or low self confidence anymore. My sleep is better, my waking up is better. It's just amazing to me how much this problem weighs all of us down and keeps us down and keeps us from not only feeling good, but reaching our full potential. Staying vigilant always, but I'm so so happy with these last few weeks. Coming to the 1 month mark soon. Thankful. Grateful. Blessed. Happy. I never thought feeling calm and chill would feel so good. Love you guys.
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Day 27. Had the urge to MO last night. I told myself that I could, but I would only feel good for 30 seconds, then I'd regret it. I told myself I'd wake up this morning and wish I wouldn't have done it, and I wanted to wake up this morning on hard mode. After that, I felt better and went to sleep. I was my higher self last night and that makes me proud. Looking forward to the 30 day mark soon and the 28 day mark tomorrow. Feeling very good today. Clear mind. No stress. Thankful.
 
Pdub

Pdub

Member
Taking a step back and looking at your urges like that can be difficult. Keep at it and you'll make 30 days no problem.
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Guys, I had a really really bad relapse last night and it was my fault. I let myself go over the line just a little bit, and it was enough to take me under. Not at all how I wanted to begin 2024. I'll be stepping back from here for a bit, to do some thinking and figure everything out. I'm okay, just confused and frustrated. Hope all of you have a great day and happy New Year.
 
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Maglue

Active Member
When you tell others about not doing pmo it statistically makes it harder for you to succeed in your recovery... thats what I read...
I failed many times... its quite a process...
In my awakening I've turned my life upside down to find the cure... I did 50 day pmo fasts with little success... running, healthy and wiring and it did little to help me... even if I'd had sex at the 50 day I'd would be limp for long long time it would take a very understanding woman to go through the painful process...
The biggest factor for overcoming pied was having a working rock hard dick ... i did tgis with light therapy.... when it was not working it was convient to run to porn and hide... I guess its the defense mechanism of the body to pursue that as next best option....
A few months ago I went 35 days no pmo and was getting massage by hot woman and couldn't get hard and I ran back to porn straight away...
I did recently have one last relapse a few weeks ago only for one day... but I do feel I've completely broken it down now I hate it...
I have a perfectly functioning dick now... there is no reason to watch porn again.... I am pursuing other different woman soon...
Life is good... I'm 39 and regrowing my hair with light therapy...
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Hey guys, I'm back. I left in December, because I was just so sick of failing. I was way too difficult on myself and put too much pressure and stress on myself which only made things much worse. I'm sorry I cut and ran, but I had to figure things out on my own. Something I haven't done since I began my pmo struggle a few years ago. I was always used to just numbing out and putting a bandaid on the problem. My mind kept telling me that there is a perfect reboot journey and a perfect video to watch still. And as bad as it sounds, I believed my addicted brain and let it control me. I would fight, but it would always win. There is no perfect way to do this, and there is no perfect video If there was, I and so many others would have succeeded way before this day. I'm in a way better head space now and I'm not being so difficult on myself anymore. I have a big goal, which is my birthday next June. I'm not gonna count my days until then. For now, I'm just going 1 day at a time. Learning every day how to do this. Instead of just jumping in without a life jacket on. I'm feeling much better and have so much more energy. It just feels good to Iove myself and not run anymore or beat myself up. It also feels good to not worry about small goals or goals that add stress onto myself and my brain. Thank you all for your support and love since I've been away. Again, sorry for leaving for a bit. I'll try to update often. Love you all.
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Currently, I'm in a flatline, and everything is shrunken and turned off. I've had some mind tricks these last days, but I didn't fall for them. I kept going for once. As difficult as that is in the moment, it's worth it once my brain quits trying to get me. I do have a lot of energy from not viewing porn or fapping. My mind is also in a better state. I've had some headaches and some tiredness lately. But no huge withdrawal symptoms other than those. The anxiety I've felt is most likely from my addicted brain throwing stuff at me hoping something will stick. Very thankful for this flatline and the 0 urges it's causing me to have. Gotta prepare for that next urge though.
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
I have a bit of a headache this morning. Other than that, I feel good and calm. No huge energy spike like I had yesterday, but, It's good to just feel calm and not tired or anxious because of pmo. Looking forward to today and this week.
 
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