my journey, 25, male, PMO since ~11, 100% ED, done with this shit forever, it did enough harm

Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
swimmer97 said:
I personally have some "layers of protection" like the many skins of an onion, in such moments:

These are:
-thinking about having ED,
-thinking about the big streak i got which i would break,
-Thinking about how i feel after watching P
-thinking about where i see myself in the future
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I love these reasons you have for staying away @swimmer97. I think these are gold. Hell, I think you're gold!

I'm glad you found a great and supportive girlfriend too. That can be a real game changer in all of this.

Keep rocking it man!
 
swimmer97

swimmer97

Active Member
Day 393

woke up at one night this week and was so pumped with dopamine for P that i neraly relapsed. that was crazy scary. there can be so much dopamine that its nearly impossible to get control back over oneself. i thank god did it but only with having that one little voice in my head "this will be a relpase, you are fucked if you do it"
 
swimmer97

swimmer97

Active Member
Day 402

i want to get back to 12% body fat. im done with the half ass approach of losing fat. it didnt do anything in the last 1-2months. my goals need to be specific again.
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i posted this a week or so ago. i actually changed my mind here. What i learned is that going on a tough diet and loosing kilograms this way is not worth. why? because it is not sustainable. I would lose some kilograms like last year but i will 99% gain them all back quickly after i go back into my normal eating habits.

so what now? well, i will eat the same as i always do but more protein. I will actually go for more muscles or to better say it i want to get stronger. Not focusing on the visual muscle gain but focusing on lifting more weights each 2 weeks. This is more sustainable as i will eat as much as i feel comfortable with. lets try this out.

My current body metrics are:

79,35kg Weight
16,2% Body Fat


It is literally all about sustainability in life. In sports but also of course when it comes to sexual health. P is the absolute opposite of sustainability.
 
swimmer97

swimmer97

Active Member
Day 419

never ever again. only the real deal. to quote the man himself gary wilson from his book "do more of what your ancestors did because our brains are not used to todays supernormal stimulis". im not sure if he said it exactly like this but somewhat like this. and i still remember it until today because its so f-ing true.
 
swimmer97

swimmer97

Active Member
I relapsed some days ago and i feel terrible for That. I need to reflect on what went wrong That night and need some time to Rest. I will Take some time off and come Back soon again. One Thing ist for Sure, i will Not Stop moving forwards, there is No P in my life still, my values didnt Change, they got stronger. In the end this ist about recovering my brain and living a healthy Natural Sex Life one day. Thats all That Matters to me. Lets keep going
 
Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
Hey @swimmer97, so sorry to hear about this brother.
swimmer97 said:
I relapsed some days ago and i feel terrible for That. I need to reflect on what went wrong
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I get this. I know it can feel like you've returned to your old ways and self again and that there's been no "progress" but it's simply NOT the facts. You had a hell of a streak, only proving that you really have gotten over this, but there might be a few bumps in the road here and there.
swimmer97 said:
One Thing ist for Sure, i will Not Stop moving forwards, there is No P in my life still, my values didnt Change, they got stronger.
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This is absolutely true. You're the same guy as you were before, but now a little smarter about this. Was there something in particular that made you go back? Or had it been building up and you just weren't acknowledging it? I know when I've relapsed in the past, there was always something I was not addressing, something I was unhappy about in my life, or, not admitting to myself. Search inside and see what that was for you.

I know you feel like crap, but it takes balls to come back on here and tell the truth, and I completely respect you for doing that. I haven't lost any faith in you. You CAN do this. You HAVE done this. Take it from me, throwing yourself into ditches of despair might be a legitimate feeling but it won't help you in the long run.
swimmer97 said:
I relapsed some days ago and i feel terrible for That. I need to reflect on what went wrong That night and need some time to Rest. I will Take some time off and come Back soon again. One Thing ist for Sure, i will Not Stop moving forwards, there is No P in my life still, my values didnt Change, they got stronger. In the end this ist about recovering my brain and living a healthy Natural Sex Life one day. Thats all That Matters to me. Lets keep going
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Fuck yes!

You got this man. Learn from what happened, and let's keep going when you're ready to jump back on the train.

Love
Blondie
 
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