A Long time due battle that I need to stop ignoring
- Thread starter Trisquel
- Start date
Day 28/30
Almost there!
Today I had a small slip with fantasies and M to them.
But I realized what I was doing one minute after, and I stopped, which was not very difficult.
I committ now to a P free day: no P, no substitutes, no indulging in sloppy behaviours, no touching my dick. Specially when going to sleep and when waking up next morning.
This will make my life so much better . I don't want to waste any more time in this fucking addiction.
That's it, the thinking is dine for the day, now I only have to commit to this.
Everyday I could relapse very easily and today is no different!! That's why I have to commit every single day.
Today I feel specially vulnerable.
I'm feeling stressed and dissapinted because I'm looking for a house near my university, which is turning to be very difficult.
But anyway, I'm trying my best , and that's all I can do!
Apart from that there are a lot of positive things going on on my life. I'm making new friends and playing music, and I feel more connected to my friends and to people around me. People are helping me get through. The breakup with my girlfriend turned out good and we are in good terms. I'm also making more exercise and I'm dealing with my depression like never before.
Let's keep moving in the right track, even when we don't feel like it.
I also committ to not using YouTube on my phone. This simple thing is so difficult to do, but it improves my life so much.
Cheers!
Almost there!
Today I had a small slip with fantasies and M to them.
But I realized what I was doing one minute after, and I stopped, which was not very difficult.
I committ now to a P free day: no P, no substitutes, no indulging in sloppy behaviours, no touching my dick. Specially when going to sleep and when waking up next morning.
This will make my life so much better . I don't want to waste any more time in this fucking addiction.
That's it, the thinking is dine for the day, now I only have to commit to this.
Everyday I could relapse very easily and today is no different!! That's why I have to commit every single day.
Today I feel specially vulnerable.
I'm feeling stressed and dissapinted because I'm looking for a house near my university, which is turning to be very difficult.
But anyway, I'm trying my best , and that's all I can do!
Apart from that there are a lot of positive things going on on my life. I'm making new friends and playing music, and I feel more connected to my friends and to people around me. People are helping me get through. The breakup with my girlfriend turned out good and we are in good terms. I'm also making more exercise and I'm dealing with my depression like never before.
Let's keep moving in the right track, even when we don't feel like it.
I also committ to not using YouTube on my phone. This simple thing is so difficult to do, but it improves my life so much.
Cheers!
Good stuff man. That's the right mindset, one day at a time -- especially when we're feeling vulnerable!
Day 30/30
Hey, one month!
This time it felt a lot easier to reach this point, which is great. It means I'm killing the habit finally. It feels like the worst part is over, but I still have to be very careful, I could relapse every day If I don't actively commit to fighting this addiction, and today is no different.
I was having a bad morning, yesterday evening I downloaded Tinder because I wanted to meet some people in real life. I think it was too similar to my addiction and it made me feel uneasy. I don't know what to do with it still. For noe I still have it in my phone, but I'll be careful with it. If it starts to resemble my addiction, then I will have to cut it off and looks for other alternatives to meet people.
I had a sloopy morning because of it. My concentration was all over the place. Luckily, I went to climb, which helped me a lot. I feel good now, I'm going to rest, to read a little, and maybe I'll meet some friends later.
I commit to fighting this adiction one day more. No P, no fantasies, and no touching my dick for one day. Specially when going to sleep, and when waking up next morning.
Also, no binging on social media or junk food. I commit to not using YouTube on my phone.
This is the recipe that has kept me on the good track this month, so let's stick with it. Even if sometimes is difficult to follow, it is worth it, since I benefit so much from kicking my addiction out. I start connecting more with people, and to enjoy better the things around me. I stop beeing a slave to P and to my phone, and I start taking control of my life. That's worth all the struggle of the reboot, is a great reward for so little effort!
That's all the thinking for today, now let's dooooo iiiiitttttt!!!!
Hey, one month!
This time it felt a lot easier to reach this point, which is great. It means I'm killing the habit finally. It feels like the worst part is over, but I still have to be very careful, I could relapse every day If I don't actively commit to fighting this addiction, and today is no different.
I was having a bad morning, yesterday evening I downloaded Tinder because I wanted to meet some people in real life. I think it was too similar to my addiction and it made me feel uneasy. I don't know what to do with it still. For noe I still have it in my phone, but I'll be careful with it. If it starts to resemble my addiction, then I will have to cut it off and looks for other alternatives to meet people.
I had a sloopy morning because of it. My concentration was all over the place. Luckily, I went to climb, which helped me a lot. I feel good now, I'm going to rest, to read a little, and maybe I'll meet some friends later.
I commit to fighting this adiction one day more. No P, no fantasies, and no touching my dick for one day. Specially when going to sleep, and when waking up next morning.
Also, no binging on social media or junk food. I commit to not using YouTube on my phone.
This is the recipe that has kept me on the good track this month, so let's stick with it. Even if sometimes is difficult to follow, it is worth it, since I benefit so much from kicking my addiction out. I start connecting more with people, and to enjoy better the things around me. I stop beeing a slave to P and to my phone, and I start taking control of my life. That's worth all the struggle of the reboot, is a great reward for so little effort!
That's all the thinking for today, now let's dooooo iiiiitttttt!!!!
Indeed! Thanks man
cookiemonster
Active Member
Hey, I would just uninstall tinder. I did the exact same thing in a previous reboot and to be honest there's just too much triggering content. You swipe through profiles getting a hit of novelty on each new "partner" and so many profiles are sexually triggering, seems pretty similar to porn!
I'm the same though, I've thought about re-downloading it because I want to FUCK, been 7 weeks no orgasm
, but I don't think it's worth it.Hahahah, moodHey, I would just uninstall tinder. I did the exact same thing in a previous reboot and to be honest there's just too much triggering content. You swipe through profiles getting a hit of novelty on each new "partner" and so many profiles are sexually triggering, seems pretty similar to porn!
I'm the same though, I've thought about re-downloading it because I want to FUCK, been 7 weeks no orgasm
I think you are completely right. Is the first time I downloaded it in my reboot and I've noticed is not worth it. Too similar to porn. I already deleted it.
It's been quite a problem, it has lead me to trhee days of using subtitues. I came here to get back on track.
Day 33/40
Hi guys
These trhee days have been horrible.
After using Tinder I used a couple more of dating and sexual related apps, and I've been using them.
I have also been M to fantasies a lot these days. I did not O, though, but I think that doesn't matter a lot . I have been binging on dopamine and I've been overstimulating myself these days, which has made me feel uneasy and unhappy. I feel like I'm beeing drained. With a lot of mental fog.
My god, one night I slept 4 hours because I was using one of the apps!
These days feel like a huge defeat, but I know I'm still fighting this war!
I also realised that what I'm looking in these apps is not constant novelty, but a deep connection with someone. That is what I really need. I have also realised that these apps are not the right place to look for it, they offer constant novelty, they are very different from real life. They are just like porn.
So, I have deleted them and I compromise not to use them anymore. I will figure out another way of bonding with people in real life, which is what I really need and what I'm really looking for.
I'm open to suggestions of what I can do as I'm a bit lost in this area. I have never been the most sociable person and I sometimes struggle with that.
I commit right here and now to another day of no P. No fantasies and no substitutes. That is, no dating apps, no browsing the internet for anything sex related, no dating apps, no binging on social media, no binging on food or anything that boost my dopamine too much.
No P, no fantasies, no subtitues.
Specially when going to sleep and when waking up next morning.
The goal is clear for today, to indulge in any of the activities that I have just described is to fail in my commitment. the thinking is done, now I only have to commit to it.
I'm doing this because I want to LIVE MY LIFE, I don't want any stupid addiction to drain it from me.
See you later!
Edit: do you think I should count this as a relapse?
I'm doubting since I didn't O'ed to P, but idk, it feels like a relapse. It would like to hear what you think!
Hi guys
These trhee days have been horrible.
After using Tinder I used a couple more of dating and sexual related apps, and I've been using them.
I have also been M to fantasies a lot these days. I did not O, though, but I think that doesn't matter a lot . I have been binging on dopamine and I've been overstimulating myself these days, which has made me feel uneasy and unhappy. I feel like I'm beeing drained. With a lot of mental fog.
My god, one night I slept 4 hours because I was using one of the apps!
These days feel like a huge defeat, but I know I'm still fighting this war!
I also realised that what I'm looking in these apps is not constant novelty, but a deep connection with someone. That is what I really need. I have also realised that these apps are not the right place to look for it, they offer constant novelty, they are very different from real life. They are just like porn.
So, I have deleted them and I compromise not to use them anymore. I will figure out another way of bonding with people in real life, which is what I really need and what I'm really looking for.
I'm open to suggestions of what I can do as I'm a bit lost in this area. I have never been the most sociable person and I sometimes struggle with that.
I commit right here and now to another day of no P. No fantasies and no substitutes. That is, no dating apps, no browsing the internet for anything sex related, no dating apps, no binging on social media, no binging on food or anything that boost my dopamine too much.
No P, no fantasies, no subtitues.
Specially when going to sleep and when waking up next morning.
The goal is clear for today, to indulge in any of the activities that I have just described is to fail in my commitment. the thinking is done, now I only have to commit to it.
I'm doing this because I want to LIVE MY LIFE, I don't want any stupid addiction to drain it from me.
See you later!
Edit: do you think I should count this as a relapse?
I'm doubting since I didn't O'ed to P, but idk, it feels like a relapse. It would like to hear what you think!
Last edited:
cookiemonster
Active Member
Only you know what you really did and whether to count it as a relapse or not.
Was it pretty much the same as a porn watching session when you opened up apps with the intention to beat your meat? Then yeah, probably a relapse.
At the end of the day it doesn't matter whether you reset your counter or not. You experimented with something and found that it didn't work out.
If you manage to get through the next couple of days of the brain fog and feeling a bit shit you'll start feeling good again and you'll be on track to keep this addiction out of your life.
We've all been where you are. I mean, I've done literally the same thing with dating apps while rebooting. No shame in it. We just have to acknowledge it and then go back to beating the porn industry.
You can do it.
As for meeting girls... Are you a university student? Are there uni clubs?
Thank you guys, I think you are right. I just experimented with something that was harmful to me and that's all I need to know. It will get better and I'm still fighting this addiction. is no use focusing too much on the numbers of the counter.
I will try to do some group activities, I enjoy making music, hiking and climbing, maybe something can come out of that.
I'm not at university at the moment, but I'm going to start next September! I'm not telling much about it here but the application process went quite well! Now I only need to find a room near my uni (which can be very challenging). I think when I start university I will have better opportunities to meet knew people. Also, it would be awesome to start uni again without carrying this addiction over.
For now I'll focus on moving to the university city, beeing with my friends, meeting people in real life and checking group activities I can enrol into.
Thanks for reading and writing here guys, it is a lot.
I will try to do some group activities, I enjoy making music, hiking and climbing, maybe something can come out of that.
I'm not at university at the moment, but I'm going to start next September! I'm not telling much about it here but the application process went quite well! Now I only need to find a room near my uni (which can be very challenging). I think when I start university I will have better opportunities to meet knew people. Also, it would be awesome to start uni again without carrying this addiction over.
For now I'll focus on moving to the university city, beeing with my friends, meeting people in real life and checking group activities I can enrol into.
Thanks for reading and writing here guys, it is a lot.
cookiemonster
Active Member
A great way to meet new people is to think of a person in your life who you really like. Someone really positive, motivated, inspiring etc... then ask to catch up with them and ask that they invite 1 or 2 of their good friends. You can grow your circle fast that way and meet really uplifting people.
Think about how awesome it would be to start university having kicked your porn addiction, no brain fog, all full of motivation and ready to have relationships with real girls!
Great attitude Trisquel, and you're right -- it's not all about the numbers. You see your struggles for what they are and have a constructive mindset, so you're making progress.
Starting university in September might come with its share of stress, but like you say it will create a lot of social opportunity in your daily life. I think planning to take as much advantage of that as you can would be a great idea, long term. And the hobbies you build now can pay off then too... you could invite your new peers to go rock climbing or join a club that makes music. Lots of possibilities!
Day 0/14
Hi guys!
I´ve decided to reset my counter because I was indulging myself too much yesterday.
I had slept only a few hours, and that made my concentration to be shit all day long. I was having problems with food, social media (YouTube), and in the end, I was MO to fantasies. I even attemped to search for P.
It is certanly not a lot compared to were I was a couple of months ago! which I am very happy for. But it felt like a relapse and I want to resset the counter again. It feels more cleaner this way.
Also, I want to remind myself that I have to commit everyday to fighting this addiction. Every day I have to make the active choice of helping myself and choosing the healthy options, beeing carefull not to give in to my addiction-driven behaviours (P, fantasies, binging on food and social media).
I feel confident I can do it. I have seen a lot of improvement these months, and it is still going on. The numbers of my counter doesn´t mean I´m back on square 1. Far away from that, in fact!
These months I have learned that beating this addiction is not about abstaining to porn, but about creating a healthy and fullfilling life for yourself. I will focus on that, and not only on cutting down the ehaviours mentioned above.
Sports, friends, music.... all the things that fullfill me have been helping me a lot these weeks, and I feel very grateful for that.
I have also realized that even when saying no to this addiction can feel like shit in the moment, at the end it is always worht it. You get so much from sobriety that the struggle of commiting to fight it is only a very small prize.
Also, a week ago I went with some friends to a folk music dancing thing. It was quite fun! I was not expecting to like it so much, because I don´t like dancing, and I thought that it would be very akward to dance with other people in a large group, but I had a good time.
I got the feeling there that those kind of experiences are the ones I need to rewire. Not tinder or other bullshit on the internet.
I feel that I´m leaving my addiction behind me, even when I´m experiencing a lot of downs and ups. But I could go back to it every single day! That´s why I need to commit actively every single day as well.
Today will be a day of no P, no fantasies, and no substitutes. I will be extra carefull when going to sleep and when waking up.
See you tomorrow, I will be here to commit to another day.
See you!
Hi guys!
I´ve decided to reset my counter because I was indulging myself too much yesterday.
I had slept only a few hours, and that made my concentration to be shit all day long. I was having problems with food, social media (YouTube), and in the end, I was MO to fantasies. I even attemped to search for P.
It is certanly not a lot compared to were I was a couple of months ago! which I am very happy for. But it felt like a relapse and I want to resset the counter again. It feels more cleaner this way.
Also, I want to remind myself that I have to commit everyday to fighting this addiction. Every day I have to make the active choice of helping myself and choosing the healthy options, beeing carefull not to give in to my addiction-driven behaviours (P, fantasies, binging on food and social media).
I feel confident I can do it. I have seen a lot of improvement these months, and it is still going on. The numbers of my counter doesn´t mean I´m back on square 1. Far away from that, in fact!
These months I have learned that beating this addiction is not about abstaining to porn, but about creating a healthy and fullfilling life for yourself. I will focus on that, and not only on cutting down the ehaviours mentioned above.
Sports, friends, music.... all the things that fullfill me have been helping me a lot these weeks, and I feel very grateful for that.
I have also realized that even when saying no to this addiction can feel like shit in the moment, at the end it is always worht it. You get so much from sobriety that the struggle of commiting to fight it is only a very small prize.
Also, a week ago I went with some friends to a folk music dancing thing. It was quite fun! I was not expecting to like it so much, because I don´t like dancing, and I thought that it would be very akward to dance with other people in a large group, but I had a good time.
I got the feeling there that those kind of experiences are the ones I need to rewire. Not tinder or other bullshit on the internet.
I feel that I´m leaving my addiction behind me, even when I´m experiencing a lot of downs and ups. But I could go back to it every single day! That´s why I need to commit actively every single day as well.
Today will be a day of no P, no fantasies, and no substitutes. I will be extra carefull when going to sleep and when waking up.
See you tomorrow, I will be here to commit to another day.
See you!
Day 0/14
Well guys,
I had a complete relapse yesterday.
I really don´t know why. I think I was having abstinence syndroms all day long (feeling uneasy, cravings for social media and food), and all those urges escalated to PMO in the night.
I feel ashamed of myself and I don´t know how to explain my behaviour.
But we are still on the same fight. This doesn´t swip away all the things I wrote yesterday. I just have to keep going.
Is gonna be easier this time. And I´ve experience so much benefits from this reboot already that I just don´t want to stop! I want more!
I want to get away from this addiction and to land into real life. So, let´s do exactly that!
It was a huge relapse, but it doesn´t change a thing. I feel ashamed, but I know exactly what to do now.
No P, no substitudes and no fantasies at all. Also, no dating websites/apps and no playing around with my dick. Only for today and for tomorrow morning. Specially when waking up or going to sleep.
I have to make a plan for when I´m having abstinence syndrom, the urges and the uneasiness can be too much!
I will stay away from my computer/phone and I will get away from my house.
I will contact a friend and meet them. If they are busy, I will go to a park to read a book. and If it is rainy, I will go to a café to do the same thing. If it is too late in the evening, I will still go out and look for a concert to spend the night in.
This is the plan for when I´m having abstinence syndroms, and I will commit to it. Even if I don´t feel like it, even if is difficult in the moment.
And remember, I can relapse at any moment, is so easy. That´s why I have to remember that I´m fighting this addiction everyday. I cannot let go of myself on easy days.
Okay guys,
Let´s get back to it.
I see you tomorrow.
Well guys,
I had a complete relapse yesterday.
I really don´t know why. I think I was having abstinence syndroms all day long (feeling uneasy, cravings for social media and food), and all those urges escalated to PMO in the night.
I feel ashamed of myself and I don´t know how to explain my behaviour.
But we are still on the same fight. This doesn´t swip away all the things I wrote yesterday. I just have to keep going.
Is gonna be easier this time. And I´ve experience so much benefits from this reboot already that I just don´t want to stop! I want more!
I want to get away from this addiction and to land into real life. So, let´s do exactly that!
It was a huge relapse, but it doesn´t change a thing. I feel ashamed, but I know exactly what to do now.
No P, no substitudes and no fantasies at all. Also, no dating websites/apps and no playing around with my dick. Only for today and for tomorrow morning. Specially when waking up or going to sleep.
I have to make a plan for when I´m having abstinence syndrom, the urges and the uneasiness can be too much!
I will stay away from my computer/phone and I will get away from my house.
I will contact a friend and meet them. If they are busy, I will go to a park to read a book. and If it is rainy, I will go to a café to do the same thing. If it is too late in the evening, I will still go out and look for a concert to spend the night in.
This is the plan for when I´m having abstinence syndroms, and I will commit to it. Even if I don´t feel like it, even if is difficult in the moment.
And remember, I can relapse at any moment, is so easy. That´s why I have to remember that I´m fighting this addiction everyday. I cannot let go of myself on easy days.
Okay guys,
Let´s get back to it.
I see you tomorrow.
cookiemonster
Active Member
For the next few days, urges are likely to be high and you might feel that your self-control and ability to overcome them is not as strong.
There's a word called "congruence" (agreement or harmony). You want to be congruent with your goals and best-self.
One day of congruency (just one day porn-free), your brain will feel better and you'll start to feel better about yourself too. Living congruently (working towards our goals) makes us feel good about ourselves. 2-3 days free and you'll feel like a completely different person again.
Your goal right now is to put a circuit breaker in the relapse spiral.
I've relapsed after 10 week streaks. I relapse once, then a little more, then I stop coming to the forum and before I know it 6 months have passed. That's what you want to avoid.
Just get through one fucking day. Just one. And don't give up until you get just one day.
You don't have to fight this battle every single day, it gets easier after one day. And then easier after two.
You can do this. Circuit breaker this bitch!
This is exactly right. A relapse doesn't mean you don't want to overcome your addiction.
There's a word called "congruence" (agreement or harmony). You want to be congruent with your goals and best-self.
One day of congruency (just one day porn-free), your brain will feel better and you'll start to feel better about yourself too. Living congruently (working towards our goals) makes us feel good about ourselves. 2-3 days free and you'll feel like a completely different person again.
Your goal right now is to put a circuit breaker in the relapse spiral.
I've relapsed after 10 week streaks. I relapse once, then a little more, then I stop coming to the forum and before I know it 6 months have passed. That's what you want to avoid.
Just get through one fucking day. Just one. And don't give up until you get just one day.
You don't have to fight this battle every single day, it gets easier after one day. And then easier after two.
You can do this. Circuit breaker this bitch!
Thanks a lot, it is what I need to hear right now.
Getting through one day!
cookiemonster
Active Member
Just one day Trisquel, that's all we need right now!