Weetakker
Member
Hello, everyone. Some thoughts I’ve been having, and I wanted to flesh them out here.
To start, ANY addiction is hard to disclose to other people. There is shame and social stigma involved in admitting you are an addict.
However, when it comes to porn addiction, I find that it is harder to disclose to others and be open about it—and thus get support and understanding from other people.
An alcoholic can say they are X number of days sober and they’ll get praise, understanding. This has to do with the fact that alcoholism in this instance is talked about and accepted as an addiction, of course. “You’re an alcoholic? Keep fighting the good fight.” And then people move on.
But with porn, admitting you have an addiction will most certainly cause discomfort in the person you’re telling. “Have you cheated on ME?” may ask the significant other. “Has this person fantasized about fucking me?” may think a friend. From then on every look you give anybody is questioned, every action analyzed, not because of how it might affect you, but how it may affect THEM.
(Sure. Other people worry about what an alcoholic or drug addict may do to them when using, but that’s the key point: “when using.” With porn, “using” to others can be perceived as simply looking. So the use is constant. )
Porn addiction has a way to make others feel uncomfortable because porn is intrinsically voyeuristic, which means that the attention is not on the self, but on others. To admit alcoholism is to admit an internal struggle. It allows people to move along. It’s someone else’s struggle. To admit a porn addiction is to suggest you’re constantly objectifying/fantasizing about whoever is interacting with you. Someone who hears you have a porn addiction may want to distance themselves, physically or emotionally, from you ASAP.
Hence what I perceive to be an important difference among porn and other types of addictions.
To start, ANY addiction is hard to disclose to other people. There is shame and social stigma involved in admitting you are an addict.
However, when it comes to porn addiction, I find that it is harder to disclose to others and be open about it—and thus get support and understanding from other people.
An alcoholic can say they are X number of days sober and they’ll get praise, understanding. This has to do with the fact that alcoholism in this instance is talked about and accepted as an addiction, of course. “You’re an alcoholic? Keep fighting the good fight.” And then people move on.
But with porn, admitting you have an addiction will most certainly cause discomfort in the person you’re telling. “Have you cheated on ME?” may ask the significant other. “Has this person fantasized about fucking me?” may think a friend. From then on every look you give anybody is questioned, every action analyzed, not because of how it might affect you, but how it may affect THEM.
(Sure. Other people worry about what an alcoholic or drug addict may do to them when using, but that’s the key point: “when using.” With porn, “using” to others can be perceived as simply looking. So the use is constant. )
Porn addiction has a way to make others feel uncomfortable because porn is intrinsically voyeuristic, which means that the attention is not on the self, but on others. To admit alcoholism is to admit an internal struggle. It allows people to move along. It’s someone else’s struggle. To admit a porn addiction is to suggest you’re constantly objectifying/fantasizing about whoever is interacting with you. Someone who hears you have a porn addiction may want to distance themselves, physically or emotionally, from you ASAP.
Hence what I perceive to be an important difference among porn and other types of addictions.