43 year old tired of pmo
- Thread starter jstock
- Start date
ready2go
Active Member
I can't believe how much time I'm spending here. But you guys have inspired me beyond what I would have ever thought possible. Really it never crossed my mind that it would benefit me to give up porn. I want to know how many guys out there are doing porn as we have done and have no clue it is fucking with their boners, and they're going to the doctors looking for pills, injections, pumps, whatever that is really PIED. Boggles my mind to think about it. And really, I'd like to know for sure, just how many guys are watching porn with or without PIED. Anyone have any ideas of the numbers or percentages?
Keep going guys! We're winning.
Keep going guys! We're winning.
I use to use those pills, viagra, and cialis, after a while, they didn't work at all. You know what does work? Not watching that crap, we call porn. I spent so many hours, and years wasting my time. I wish I could get that time back. I cant, all I can do is learn from my past. My life is so good now. It feels so nice to have that fog lifted. I don't know if I've ever been able to think, and speak so clearly.
ready2go
Active Member
I woke up to cravings today for the first time. My wife is out of the house all day, I don't have to work until late today, so I hav the day to porn up. At least that is what i have always done in the past. Hopefully today is the first time that doesn't happen. But damn, that pull and urge is strong. Ok I'll post this to my journal, I am getting RN -fatigue just a bit, now that the shock and awe of beginning to recognize my problem has worn off. Keep good thoughts guys. I'm still doing this a day at a time, and I did sign up for the year of porn-free commitment. Today is one of those dark gloomy pacnw days - perfect for - woops not going to describe it, not going to do it. I'll text someone. I was hoping I'd have an accountability partner by the time this came up but - since not yet - I'll just have to tough it out.
ready2go
Active Member
Thanks J. I did text and got involved in something else.. Going to go for a cold shower, take the dog for a long walk since it's not raining here .. and just be busy. It's really a tough one today. My first real withdrawl pang where it's minute by minute keeping busy. I had no idea it would be like this. How fucking weird is this?
I appreciate you. Thanks for being there/here for me.
I appreciate you. Thanks for being there/here for me.
ready2go
Active Member
I hear you J. My wife has gone to bed early, and I'm down here by myself, and suddenly it's like...no porn, no CL, no no no no.
It's ok, but I feel this inner tension which is weird feeling. It's a physical sensation, not a mental tension.
Today I was going through my youtube subscriptions while laying in bed at 5 a.m., in the dark, by myself. It was fucking amazing how many porn-like subscriptions I had on youtube! I didn't even know since I don't dial through the subscriptions. There were hypnosis sites, things lurking under other titles, there was a russian thing that god knows where that came from. So as I was lighting them up to decide whether they were porn related or not, I did get exposed to a couple of quick items that I couldn't turn off fast enough. Serious. I was turning the screen, turning my head. I was proud that I could do it, and yet its like the first spontaneous bone. So I got it. Really big time got it.
Since I was deleting and not watching, I didn't reset, and had nothing to be concerned about. It's gone now.
But alas, 8:30, alone in the family room. Just me, the tv, and the internet. Hmmmm. What would this have been like one week ago?
So even though I may have read everything on this site, I'm still camped on it just to be sure I'm not somewhere else getting myself into a pickle. It feels like my safe place.
I did look at the other sites, but they were not as comforting or addressed *me* like this one does. Something here matches my vibe the other's don't approach doing.
Thanks brothers. My heart is full of and for you. You have no idea how much I value you and what you bring to my betterment.
It's ok, but I feel this inner tension which is weird feeling. It's a physical sensation, not a mental tension.
Today I was going through my youtube subscriptions while laying in bed at 5 a.m., in the dark, by myself. It was fucking amazing how many porn-like subscriptions I had on youtube! I didn't even know since I don't dial through the subscriptions. There were hypnosis sites, things lurking under other titles, there was a russian thing that god knows where that came from. So as I was lighting them up to decide whether they were porn related or not, I did get exposed to a couple of quick items that I couldn't turn off fast enough. Serious. I was turning the screen, turning my head. I was proud that I could do it, and yet its like the first spontaneous bone. So I got it. Really big time got it.
Since I was deleting and not watching, I didn't reset, and had nothing to be concerned about. It's gone now.
But alas, 8:30, alone in the family room. Just me, the tv, and the internet. Hmmmm. What would this have been like one week ago?
So even though I may have read everything on this site, I'm still camped on it just to be sure I'm not somewhere else getting myself into a pickle. It feels like my safe place.
I did look at the other sites, but they were not as comforting or addressed *me* like this one does. Something here matches my vibe the other's don't approach doing.
Thanks brothers. My heart is full of and for you. You have no idea how much I value you and what you bring to my betterment.
It will get better.you will stop thinking about it, after a while. When you are by yourself, click on YouTube and listen to gary wilson. Your brain on porn. You will be amazed. I listen to him almost every day. Now your brain is going to really start messing with you. Don't let it. Stay strong. Do pushups, or go join a gym. Keep busy.if you are in front of that computer YOUR BRAIN ON PORN.
Phase2
Well-Known Member
Hey jaystock. Congrats on being an old timer! Im Day 41 and feel pretty free of the pull of porn at this point, but still worried about PIED. I was curious, as you near Day 80, are you getting your hardons back? This is my main concern here. I see lots of posts about guys feeling better about themselves and that they are glad they are rid of porn, etc, but what about your ability to have sex again? That is what I have been robbed of and am hoping to get it back. Thanks for any input.
Thank you phase. I'm with you on the feel of porn pulling on me, my boners have came back pretty good. The first two times my wife and I had sex it was about 80%. The last time ,about 3 weeks ago, my boner went down. I'm not too worried about it, right now. All the other aspects of my life are 500 times better. I wouldn't trade that for the world. I tried to rub one out the other day, and I wasn't close to getting a boner. And I'm not worried about that either. It will happen eventually. I been hooked on porn for 25 plus years. After 3 months I'm not going to sweat not getting a raging hard on. It will happen. Stay strong brother.
Had a good day yesterday. Last night I got in bed, and started watching you tube. I watched a couple of videos, that probably wasn't the best thing I could have watched. It didn't do anything for me. I knew enough to turn off it off. I went to bed, and that was it. I'm really aware of my triggers. They are getting few, and far between. 3 months ago however, the wind blowing was a trigger for me . lol stay strong rebooters. We are all in this together
I'm having a rough night. I don't know what is wrong. I think I'm having anxiety tonight. I think I would be so comfy, surfing porn, looking for that video to make my life complete. I want this shitty feeling to stop. Any advice. I know I'm an old timer in here, but I'm in uncharted waters. I thought I was waaaay past this stage. I know if I went to the dark side for 4, or 5, hours, I would be in heaven. But when it would be all over, I'd hate myself. Stay strong rebooters.
Well I cut one more waste of time, out of My life...Facebook. I would look on there at least 100 times a day, and for what. People I don't even know, and I sure as hell don't care what they are doing. Goodbye fb. It will be odd for a while. If can get off porn for 88 days I can surely quit fb. Stay strong rebooters