Brother in this battle - My path to freedom

Freerider

Member
Day 46 and 0. my stress management is miserable. concentration is brain fog. now in the middle of weaning from porn I get a momentary bright moment in the brain with masturbation. however, it drives me to desperate and destroys my porn withdrawal and recovery. Hope tomorrow is better. Started today again with wim hof method about breathing and planning cold showers etc cold exposure and do more sports.
 

Freerider

Member
45 days is awesome, man.
Question: when you MO do you do it to fantasy?
I dont know. See picture of woman with dress on news site or facebook and there it goes.. i think that when i am stressed or day after stressed day my addiction find anything which boosts craving.
 

Freerider

Member
Day 47 and 1. Hard stuff but got learnings about how i handle my life. Happy about increasing no porn days and i will change my habits to also increase that no masturbation days. I have to make daily good habits which helps me for new lifestyle. Daily pushups, wim hof training, being mercy to myself and be proud every day about me when doing and working and trying. That of course has effect to me if my concentration has problems, somekind of brain fog messed up me. If i somehow survived day by day without all bad habits and same time do new good habits daily it might be easier on some day. Lot of good things in my life but of course its hard to happy about those if brain is consentrate about finding dopamine from sexual cravings.
 
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Freerider

Member
Day 48 and 2. Today was a good day! Job goes well on office and some family time and wim hof cold exposure practises was nice!
 
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Freerider

Member
Day 50 no porn and day 4 no mo! Wim hof cold exposure practises, trying couple times lying in snow naked when its minus 24 degrees outside. Its challenging and afterwards great feeling, maybe 30 seconds or maximum one minute there so far per time.
 
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Freerider

Member
Day 51 and 5. Today i will consentrate to my work. It means also big risk with fears and escape routes. So need to be humble with own strength and avoid risk situations.
 

Freerider

Member
Day 54 and actually 2. I start my day witth counting these days and report here. On tuesday i relapse to masturbation once at end of day but i was so depressed about it that couldnt come to fix reporting. Yesterday was sober day from masturbation so here we go again. Sorry guys about misinformation yesterday, i was so bad feelings that couldnt face the truth. Now trying back to it.
 

Freerider

Member
Day 56 and 4. Feeling worried but still its weekend. Try to live in present moment and not to worried future, financial issues etc. Have to remember be thankful for all good. Life is a gift and its not whats happening but how you react and think about all of it.
 

Freerider

Member
Day 62 and 10. I am happy to be here and have two months done. I need more power to solve financial/work and health issues, so it is good that i have a little less brainfogs brains to use. Still hard to consentrate and start working and stress about things quite heavily. 2minutes cold shower daily works for me. Also daily walks but need to do more harder cardio and muscle strengt sport. I trust to God that he helps, but that my part of job with this reboot is quite heavy. This reboot forum is in really important role on this process and you guys! I dont have any therapeut or real life group so this is quite lonely travel otherwise..
 
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Freerider

Member
Day 63 and 11. I didnt slept good, woke up maybe 5am and coudlnt sleep anymore. Afraid of loose my job because our company has lost so much work and need to decrease our workers quite much. But although everything is going crazier I had sex with my wife tody after 4months or something.. it was very scaring for me, can i do it at all. Last months couldnt. it was a little not in my full capacity but still it was somekind of sex. Thats good i suppose, although i have a long way still ahead with my no pmo project. Or is it porn and masturbation because i am not afraid of orgasm with my wife, that is best goal for me if possible. And today it was. :) yesterday i was also in dentish and know now that teeths are not reason for my healthy issues. I dont know. We live and then we die. Why i am scaring about everyhing. Have to learn trust and hope and dont worry so much.
 
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