Ruy Henrique
Member
sorry noises, I think I sidetracked a bit on that one. didn't mean to do it, though; just thought I'd enlighten a situation for a fellow rebooter
noises1990, relapsed, now back on track
- Thread starter adrian
- Start date
adrian
Active Member
Well, "vacation" is over, gf left for Austria again. This time I broke up with her, for good I think.
I was supposed to move to UK, but I don't quite feel like it yet, certainly not when the only reason to move is to someday be with her IF she moves too to UK from Austria. So it wasn't worth it in my head and I broke up with her!
Hopefully this means a long reboot process and some time off for my gym and spiritual side.
Take care all and stay strong!
I was supposed to move to UK, but I don't quite feel like it yet, certainly not when the only reason to move is to someday be with her IF she moves too to UK from Austria. So it wasn't worth it in my head and I broke up with her!
Hopefully this means a long reboot process and some time off for my gym and spiritual side.
Take care all and stay strong!
adrian
Active Member
Another week has passed and everything is back to normal. I really have to enter in my routine program because I've kinda lost it the few days. Been traveling for aprox 22 hours with the train, no sleep no nothing. Had some tests in a different city, and it was not was I expected unfortunately and I don't really think I'll pass them and get an offer to work in London.
I even charged up my diet with lots of sugar and alcohol last night, which is not good. I did not get drunk at all, and had a fun night with friends around a fire, even sang some songs (haven't done that in some years) and they sounded pretty decent.
Although I drank a bit and took a few hits out of a joint, I'm not mad at myself because I didn't get over the edge or anything. I know now that I must strengthen my "say no" attitude and will do from now on.
Had sex saturday night and sunday morning with no trouble in the erection department. Even though I don't really like that person anymore and I know it may be wrong, but she has to expect it since she's cheating on her boyfriend with me... I really feel bad for that chump though and I'm gonna break it up with her. Can't say that I'm not happy though that my erections are working in normal parameters.
I even charged up my diet with lots of sugar and alcohol last night, which is not good. I did not get drunk at all, and had a fun night with friends around a fire, even sang some songs (haven't done that in some years) and they sounded pretty decent.
Although I drank a bit and took a few hits out of a joint, I'm not mad at myself because I didn't get over the edge or anything. I know now that I must strengthen my "say no" attitude and will do from now on.
Had sex saturday night and sunday morning with no trouble in the erection department. Even though I don't really like that person anymore and I know it may be wrong, but she has to expect it since she's cheating on her boyfriend with me... I really feel bad for that chump though and I'm gonna break it up with her. Can't say that I'm not happy though that my erections are working in normal parameters.
adrian
Active Member
Darn it. I have some anxiety related to being alone as a result of the break-up. Although I knew the relationship is not gonna work and it's gonna end + it was more tormenting than happy.
I am starting to believe that now, in the present, I'm kinda scared to be alone. I've been in lots of relationships, had sex with lots of girls, but most of the time I've been single.
It seems that I can't really find / enjoy / maintain a healthy relationship. I used to think that happened because most of them had very unstable moral systems, but besides them I had 2 that were really good ones. Still the relationships failed, badly.
I know it is not PMO related, but this appears to become more like a life journal, a place to share my mind, and discuss with like minded people.
Oh, I eat steak today and I'm not that proud. I want to stop eating meat again, but I'm kinda afraid that I still need it to lose weight and maintain muscle mass. Will try to eliminate it more and more from now on.
Have a great one guys! Stay strong and focused because anything you set your mind on, you can achieve!
I am starting to believe that now, in the present, I'm kinda scared to be alone. I've been in lots of relationships, had sex with lots of girls, but most of the time I've been single.
It seems that I can't really find / enjoy / maintain a healthy relationship. I used to think that happened because most of them had very unstable moral systems, but besides them I had 2 that were really good ones. Still the relationships failed, badly.
I know it is not PMO related, but this appears to become more like a life journal, a place to share my mind, and discuss with like minded people.
Oh, I eat steak today and I'm not that proud. I want to stop eating meat again, but I'm kinda afraid that I still need it to lose weight and maintain muscle mass. Will try to eliminate it more and more from now on.
Have a great one guys! Stay strong and focused because anything you set your mind on, you can achieve!
adrian
Active Member
Well, no meat so far. It's going ok, also started a detox diet with some plants mix that's going great at the moment.
Today though I'm at the office and it's boring as hell. I got used to working from home, guess next week I'm staying in.
Got some cravings today, but for some real interaction / intercourse, guess I'm going to install Tinder and see what girls I can find and go out. Going out simply for a coffee or a lunch, or a walk in the park would be lovely.
Sleeping around with girls that I'm not emotionally connected with just left me pretty empty and craving some real affection and couple things.
Well, have a great day guys and girls! Stay strong and focused!
Today though I'm at the office and it's boring as hell. I got used to working from home, guess next week I'm staying in.
Got some cravings today, but for some real interaction / intercourse, guess I'm going to install Tinder and see what girls I can find and go out. Going out simply for a coffee or a lunch, or a walk in the park would be lovely.
Sleeping around with girls that I'm not emotionally connected with just left me pretty empty and craving some real affection and couple things.
Well, have a great day guys and girls! Stay strong and focused!
adrian
Active Member
Well, another week-end has passed. All was great, had a BBQ saturday night at some friends near me and it was nice, drank about 2 bottles of wine, but that's chill, I did not get drunk or anything.
All was fine, all was nice, though woke up with terrible anxiety (probably had some bad dreams also) related to life and career choices, school etc. Got me a bit scared, but I was fine 'till the end of day.
Spent the Sunday in the park, having a bike ride and enjoying the awesome weather. Then joined my friends at their house, to sit around the yard and just chillax.
Got some cravings I can't deny, real sex though, but I'm trying to abstain from any sexual encounter for the moment. I still need to find a partner that is ok with tantra / sexual continence so we can grow together.
Hope everyone is doing fine, wishin you people all the best! Stay hardcore and strong!
All was fine, all was nice, though woke up with terrible anxiety (probably had some bad dreams also) related to life and career choices, school etc. Got me a bit scared, but I was fine 'till the end of day.
Spent the Sunday in the park, having a bike ride and enjoying the awesome weather. Then joined my friends at their house, to sit around the yard and just chillax.
Got some cravings I can't deny, real sex though, but I'm trying to abstain from any sexual encounter for the moment. I still need to find a partner that is ok with tantra / sexual continence so we can grow together.
Hope everyone is doing fine, wishin you people all the best! Stay hardcore and strong!