Also been thinking a bit more about road2recoverys therapy suggestion. A therapy group might be a good idea - I've not tried that before. Not quite sure I'm ready for that yet though. I stopped my recovery groups as I did not seem to be making a lot of progress and wanted to go away and think what I needed in recovery. Think I'll keep the idea of a therapy group in mind for a while, and see how I feel. My main worry is that it may not be able to contribute anything new. After lots of therapy, I have a pretty good idea of the route causes of my addiction, and know a lot of CBT exercises that are supposed to help combat it too...trying another thing and failing would be a bit of a downer....and that's an understatement.
Still another day without PMO. So a good day. Feel anxious, but often do after a few days without P, and it passes.
Thought it might be good to make a list of all the things I have in my life right now that help me, and look at whether I'm doing them. I think one reason I have been struggling recently is that I haven't been doing enough of the things that support me.
Things that support my recovery are:
1) Keeping my computer and phones in the lounge in the evenings. (Generally doing this, but on 3 occasssions I forgot I relapsed)
2) Doing a guided visualisation in the morning imagining the P free life I want - how it would be (Keep on getting up to late - need to improve)
3) Doing exercise 3 times a week (ditto)
4) Meditating (getting some in, but a better morning routine would help.
5) Distracting myself when thoughts about P come up (working well alot of the time)
6) Monitoring fantasies in a 'scientific' way when they are too frequent and intense to distract from (e.g. how long do they last? How long are the gaps in between? How intense from 1-10 would I rate them? (Generally haven't needed to use this strategy).
7) Singing practice (gets me in a much better state of mind, generally do a few times a week.)
8) Reducing alchol intake (not bad - although some relapses have been caused by drinking too much. I generally drink one can of lager a night, and have not had any the past few nights)
9) Calling friends who understand P addiction (not done this much recently - will do tonight).
Looking at the list I think the main thing I need to do is get some early nights in order to get my morning routine going again. If I start the day in a good space and with motivation for a P free day (which my visualisation gives me), I know I have a good chance....
Any comments or suggestions about the above list gratefully recieved!
Still another day without PMO. So a good day. Feel anxious, but often do after a few days without P, and it passes.
Thought it might be good to make a list of all the things I have in my life right now that help me, and look at whether I'm doing them. I think one reason I have been struggling recently is that I haven't been doing enough of the things that support me.
Things that support my recovery are:
1) Keeping my computer and phones in the lounge in the evenings. (Generally doing this, but on 3 occasssions I forgot I relapsed)
2) Doing a guided visualisation in the morning imagining the P free life I want - how it would be (Keep on getting up to late - need to improve)
3) Doing exercise 3 times a week (ditto)
4) Meditating (getting some in, but a better morning routine would help.
5) Distracting myself when thoughts about P come up (working well alot of the time)
6) Monitoring fantasies in a 'scientific' way when they are too frequent and intense to distract from (e.g. how long do they last? How long are the gaps in between? How intense from 1-10 would I rate them? (Generally haven't needed to use this strategy).
7) Singing practice (gets me in a much better state of mind, generally do a few times a week.)
8) Reducing alchol intake (not bad - although some relapses have been caused by drinking too much. I generally drink one can of lager a night, and have not had any the past few nights)
9) Calling friends who understand P addiction (not done this much recently - will do tonight).
Looking at the list I think the main thing I need to do is get some early nights in order to get my morning routine going again. If I start the day in a good space and with motivation for a P free day (which my visualisation gives me), I know I have a good chance....
Any comments or suggestions about the above list gratefully recieved!
