Thanks,
Here's some inspiring words from recovering porn users I recently found (they all seem to touch on the same results as my benefits list of going PMO free as I've discussed earlier in my thread, but in a different viewpoint):
1. (One year) Of all my other successes - I have quit smoking, swearing, drinking, interrupting others, and being quick to anger (not all at the same time) - no fap has had the greatest impact on how I live life. For example I speak to strangers with the most confidence now. Also my relationships with women has improved - I no longer worship skinny, pretty girls, buying them gifts and agreeing with anything in exchange for sex. A women's use of sex as currency does not work on me anymore. And my relationship with some men has gotten stronger. Though I observed that I distance my self from sexually charged conversations. But not by choice, I just respond differently to some topics now. It's satisfying that I have built into my character in a positive way by changing issues of my youth before I grow old and die. I'll never wonder how I could have lived live better.
2. 88 days was an incredible amount of time for me to have gone P/M/O free with only one nocturnal emission. It did many things for me: I was able to curb other addictive cravings like cigarettes, marijuana, sugary foods and overeating. I also had way more energy and found it easier to exercise. I am a songwriter and I had way more creativity during that period than I have had since. Overall, I was more inspired about life and more engaged with the people in my life. That?s why I?m back.
3. Increased energy - I feel an overall vitality that I did not have before. I wake up in the morning with more energy and end the day feeling satisfied, not utterly exhausted. Fitness - I made a commitment when I started NoFap to also pair it with other healthy behaviors, like exercise and a proper diet. I started going to the gym at least 2x a week, 3x if I could make it, and eating at least 1 salad/day. I also consciously limit processed foods, unless I'm out to dinner with others. I have lost 10-15 lbs - I look great, but more importantly FEEL healthier.
4. Being about 60 days in, I can confirm that those periods of hopeless depression are GONE. Completely gone. And the moments I am down are usually very fleeting, and are often down to what I've eaten more than anything. (so eat good!) This has cured me of depression.
5. After 3 weeks of freedom, I have to say it's been a very long time since I've had such a decent period of mental and spiritual clarity. I felt much more aware and at peace with myself over time. The urges for porn seemed to have switched gears towards real women. I've never felt so strongly to want to initiate and talk/ be around women. I found these things quite refreshing, and they are a big motivator to want to keep on pushing the limits to how far I can cut the addiction down. Oh, and the withdrawal symptoms definitely persisted throughout the 3 weeks, but running helped, praying and reading helped as well. So did hanging out with friends, and also thinking of other reasons to quit other than yourself. Think of the potential benefits that the others around you can gain if you can overcome this and live life with all its' fullness once more. It's a nice thought for me to dwell on once in a while. Last night while hanging out with friends I was told by a good friend I?ve known for many years that she's so happy where I am in my life and how much I?ve changed. She does not know about my p/m/o...it was a nice feeling hearing that gives me strength to keep up the fight.
6. (Day 23) I'm happy to hear that your wife is enjoying you more when you don't watch so much porn. My partner right now is getting so wet when we kiss and touch, like I've never seen any woman that I've been with. And it makes me so mad that they sell us such cheap shit in pornos! But this is good news for us rebooters!
7. Tonight was the first time I had been in a relaxed, social situation since I started my NoFap journey in May (now August). Walking around and meeting people, I could SEE porn addiction in certain people's postures, their heads trying to withdraw into the protection of raised shoulders. I could HEAR it in their mumbling voices. I could sense some defense mechanism within them shutting down their ability to keep eye contact. I learned a powerful lesson: if you're addicted to porn, you absolutely project that. It infuses its essence into our actions in ways too subtle for us to consciously avoid. I get it now when I read about Fapstronauts reporting that they're mysteriously starting to have women approach them. They've stopped telegraphing their dependence on jacking off. I'm never going back to my old habit, because now I know a terrible truth: You can fastidiously hide your wank stash in a labyrinth of folders within folders disguised as inconspicuous files; you can fap in the utmost of secrecy; but when you go out and interact with your fellow humans, you might as well have your dick in hand, because your habits are visible. TL;DR: If you unplug from the matrix, you can see the code.
8. So it has been 6 months of no porn and no masturbation. I still feel like I'm recovering psychologically and physically. Some observations. First, no masturbation equals motivation to meet women. Guys, if you're shy around women. You'll get a lot less shy when the only way you can get off is to have sex with a real woman. You'll still have those butterflies, but your sex drive will provide a counter-force to overcome the butterflies. You'll be more assertive guaranteed. Second, I?m more turned on by touch than by visuals. When I was on porn, I'd see a hottie and want to instantly bone her. It's not exactly like that anymore. Now I'm more turned on by the interaction and the physical touch and less turned on by the visual. Now don't get me wrong. I'm still a male and looks matter a lot for my arousal, but they play a lesser role now that I'm off porn. Third, real women have flaws. This is related to porn and media in general. Real human beings have physical flaws. You don't see these flaws on your screen. When I'd interact with real women I notice the flaws, and consider the women sub-par. Now it's starting to hit me that flawless women don't exist. I date some of the most beautiful women this world has to offer (toot, TOOT!) and they all have flaws. I always knew it on an intellectual level, but now I'm starting to feel it on the gut level. Flaws now indicate to me that this is a real woman that I'm connecting with, which makes her even sexier.
9. 2 weeks ago I was invited to this gathering which had a lot of people I don't know. I wanted to leave a last impression and not fuck up like I do every time. I realized that I always screw up because of my complete lack of confidence and decided to change that. I worked on my posture, eye contact, and conversation skills. But most importantly, I STOPPED fapping. I went to that gathering after a little less than a week of NoFap, and I was amazed. It was a different experience. I was really confident that I think I almost became too cocky. Here I was, sitting with a bunch of people I hardly know, cracking jokes here and there, making sure everyone's having a good time. I felt like a true playmaker. Usually in gatherings like these, I leave with the most boring pitiful impressions ever. However, this time was weird. A lot of people added me on facebook and started wanting to get to know me. It felt like finally I had enough courage to face my weakness. I realized that confidence was my weakness, and I raped it. NoFap has certainly helped me overcome my confidence issues so far. When I relapsed afterwards I felt like all my ego has been destroyed. It could see myself turning into this weak slavish gollum, but instead of being obsessed with a ring, I felt obsessed with useless porn and masturbating. I will not allow myself to fall back into that pit again. I have seen how its results can dramatically change a person's life. So for anyone who feels like they could use a little more confidence, please don't relapse!
10. The last 5 years of my life have been puzzlingly numb for me. I tried everything - changing my diet, trying different girls (sorry to them..), working on thinking more positively, changing my work-leisure balance, changing my profession, changing some of my social habits, making sure I exercised regularly, trying to be tougher by doing some martial arts, getting a little into a fetish-bdsm community. Some things made some difference, but nothing really made much difference. There was always this feeling that there was just no spirit in me. In fact, I hardly ever realized the feeling was there because it never went away. But now this. This is very different. This is moving the needle hugely! This is the spirit that animates everything else, that brings the juice, the joy. I've been killing it every day with M and P, to where there was a tiny trickle of desire. I thought I was keeping my desires under control in a beneficial way, but in fact it was like someone who is afraid to lose at football, so he runs every day to tire himself out so that he has an excuse for not playing. I was doing exactly the same thing - M to avoid sexual frustration, but the key was not to M it away, but to get out there, and meet women and keep the sexual spirit for when I interact with them. It seems so simple and obvious, but P is such a seductive outlet - free, easy, highly charged.
11. (Day 19) If you work out your workouts will be much better. I ran 2km in under ten minutes today, and recorded my fastest one mile time ever. This may not seem quick, in fact I will admit that it isn't but a) I have hills in my area, and b) a PB is a PB, it's still better than I've ever done. More importantly I've never felt better on a run. Usually I feel tired or I struggle but I powered through the last 200 metres like I've never done before. I felt well and truly alive. My lungs were working overtime and I think I pushed myself hard enough to realise that I may not have actually outgrown my childhood asthma.
12. I started this quest last month after my anxiety issues got in the way with a beautiful girl, as they have with almost every other girl in my 28 years. I began a slow dive into depression in my early teens at the same time I discovered internet porn but I never connected the two until I saw the TED video. The changes have been subtle but all seem to work together, among them: Improved hygiene, Better energy levels, Better work ethic, Less anxiety around women, More opinionated and articulate with thoughts. Most notably is how productive I am with free time since I don't sit around 'baitin all day. In the past, I have tried EVERYTHING to rid myself of depression/anxiety including alcohol, Rx drugs, illegal drugs, therapy, Jesus, not Jesus, running away from my failures, etc. None of these have worked in the way No Fap appears to be working. I use my day to do things I can be proud of so it's no surprise my confidence is on the rise. It's said that thought follows action but I didn't grasp that until I started filling my time with positive actions instead of negative, soul crushing porn sessions.
13. NoFap is the way. I've been doing no PMO, and the main reason was ED-problems (though I see now how porn really fucked up my life). I've tried to have sex three times for the last one and a half year, with only one moderately successful hard-on. Yesterday I had sex with a girl and I had no problem getting it up. I was a little worried that the condom would explode when I came, but that didn't happen either fortunately
I had some DE problems on the second run, but I guess that's OK. Just wanted to share my little success-story with you guys. Stay strong and horny.
14. (Day 49) Everything is going well. i feel great. relaxed, confident, a supreme knowing that everything will work out...even better than my expectations. My skin looks amazing, i am visibly glowing, i naturally stand taller, my voice sounds amazing, i feel like a genius, my talking skills have improved by a long shot, people are a million times nicer to me, i handle my emotions a kajillion times better. There are really no words to describe how i feel. AND I AM ONLY ON DAY 49!!!!! It gets better than this?!!??!?!?! I wouldn't change this experience for anything. Women are crushing on me hard. They are just in awe of my existence lol. Every time i am around women, they get nervous, they squirm, they glance, they look away, they let their guard down, they relax, they give me the deer-in-the-headlights look, or the classic doggy-bowl look. I promise you, i am not that good looking (maybe i am?). however, i feel like i am the hottest guy around. Bask in my ambiance world lol. The catch 22 of this: even though i am gaining so much confidence, I FEEL SO HUMBLE. i feel incredibly meek. Guess that's what happens when you are holding a month and half of sperm in ya testes lol. The best part is i don't want any of them. My first reboot goal: get women. 2nd reboot goal: find better quality women. They all are amazing women, don't get me wrong. But before, i would take anything that was handed to me. Now, i am a lot more picky. i want a queen. i want a beautiful, self-confident, strong but humble woman. i have to start socializing more and i have to start weight training soon also. In conclusion, no PMO=GREATEST life hack ever.
15. (Day 65) I started with Severe ED, depression and porn addiction. My life had hit rock bottom. I missed study, work, job interviews, meeting friends, going out, eating, sleeping - I was a porn junkie! Probably one of the worst! I'd masturbate/edge for 4 hours a day on average, sometimes (often) more. I really got into edging - holding off my first orgasm for as long as possible, and then trying to orgasm as many times as I could after that. I'd masturbate without an erection. I trained myself not to have sex normally, or even get normal erections. No wonder I got ED. And the depression was terrible. Social isolation, long periods of unemployment - a wasted life despite going to one of the world's top universities, a great supportive bunch of friends, a stable family background and a lot of natural gifts. I was a porn addicted junkie. A sad pathetic loser. I was destroying my enjoyment of everything in life - and hoarding ever more toxic porn like Golum from Lord of the rings?I have achieved almost every single goal I set out for: 1) ED IS CURED - My erections are regular, firm, and easy to get. 2) PORN ADDICTION IS CURED - I have no interest in porn. 3) DEPRESSION CURED - I have not felt this happy in years. 4) LIFESTYLE CHANGE - I am once again in control of my life. 5) And lately I EVEN STARTED DATING AGAIN! Amazingly, all of this was achieved by about day 65-ish! More amazing still, it wasn't until day 45 when I had a wet dream that things shifted a gear - before that day, I felt progress on recovering from ED was slow and thought it might take 6 months to recover. On day 44 I still feared ED was permanent! THIS WORKS! Be strict with yourself and you will recover faster!
16. (From Reddit) Porn is the biggest tragedy of modern times for young men when it comes to seduction, sexuality and connecting with real women. Think about it. You've been masturbating to orgasm nearly every day since you were a young teenager. Your brain is a plastic organ that is constantly adapting itself to outside stimuli. Porn is an imaginary fantasy world where you get to see 100 vaginas in a day with a whole harem of women. This is not real life, yet your brain thinks it's getting this much pussy. PORN IS THE SINGLE REASON YOU FIND IT HARD TO TALK TO WOMEN! I've been trying to quit porn since April this year, and relapsed about 5-6 times (it's a hell of a struggle and fight with yourself - you get withdrawal symptoms on par with crack addict), but I am finally over it and am 3 months porn free. Longest I went without masturbation was 60 days. Even had my first wet dream at aged 21 a few days ago, and that was with only 7 days no masturbation. Now you realize you can be yourself around women! You truly feel like a masculine, dominant, sexy man (especially when going more than 2 weeks without ejaculation). You don't realize how much porn fucks your perception of women up before doing a reboot. You realize that body language and voice tonality becomes cool as a cucumber. Now in group of friends you are the fun, outgoing leader. You start to realize you ARE THE ALPHA MALE! You have the most influence in your group. You don't need to try, you simply *are*. This was quite the revelation to me, and it's a very exciting prospect because when you're in a crowded club full of males who all jack off to porn daily, you are the most attractive in the club!
17. 80 days - I have been doing pretty well lately, feeling pretty confident. My attraction to real natural women has definitely improved. I used to be only attracted to big fake breasts on porn stars; now I am more into real women. I haven't had a chance to try and have sex yet, but I am working on it. I am very curious to see how I would respond (I arrived here with severe ED). I think I really turned the corner once I started going out more after work and socializing with people. Also this is kinda weird, not sure if its related, but I used to wake up at least once a night to go to the bathroom, now I haven't done that in weeks. I can't explain why. Now, I wake up in the middle of the night most nights with a huge boner, but it goes away pretty quickly once I get out of bed.
18. I have been spending way more time with real women, introducing myself to women, having conversations, and some romantic encounters that required being very close, and lots of physical touch. The better I am at interacting with women, the more I want to do it. The next day I get these nice feelings of inner calm. Which is so different from porn. At one point I could watch porn for hours. Now, my body and mind have adapted to being around real girls. I'm not aroused by a 2D substitute anymore. It's just not interesting, just body parts and anonymous people. Even when I wanted to be aroused by it! Looking into someone's eyes, hearing their voice say your name, feeling their hands on you, seeing the curves of their body in real life, that is amazingly different than porn. It just FEELS better to be around real girls. I would suggest to guys who are watching lots of porn and who don't have partners, to just get out and at least BE around women. Being around people in general, and women especially, will take care of some of these addictive tendencies. We're supposed to be with others. That's why it feels so good and the more you do it, the more you want to do it.
19. Almost three weeks in, no fap no porn. So much change that I can not adjust. I don' know if my body smells like straight testosterone, but something is going on. My mind is blown at the increased attention I am getting from women. Girls that I have known, and complete strangers. I understand girls that I know showing more interest, considering that I am much more social and flirtatious, but complete strangers are hitting on me hard as fuk. I have almost no anxiety so I flirt with every girl no matter what. It takes a lot more alcohol to have any effect on me. Had to buy new polo's because of the gains. (Strength, and size increase from my new appetite.) Other things I noticed: Way more animated, facial expression and body language. A lot wittier, quicker to respond, socialize a lot better. More energy, better mood, better vision. These are all positives, but it came all at once and just piled on and completely took me out of my element. I'm going to keep it up and try to adjust, but it all feels weird.
