I think that I am now "master of my domain" just watch Seinfeld - The Contest. I actually feel a lot better after 2 weeks free, the PMO isn't worth it. Yes, I hate how doctors don't even recognize how PMO can cause problems, they think its "healthy" for you. Then I read that "doctors" say PMO is good exercise and releases lots of happy chemicals. I don't know about you but too much sex, porn or even masturbation makes me feel tired, brain fogged with really really really horrible memory/concentration, a general feeling of living under a grey cloud and not wanting to socialize, basically feeling like a flat battery in a car unable to start up on a cold morning.
Trying to stop PMO
- Thread starter jon86
- Start date
here's an interesting post I read;
"What we look up on the internet follows us around, every search every click is recorded and creates an internet profile for us specifically. Then ads chase us around, and before we know it our addiction is staring us in the face each time we log on. In a sense we become what we search. The more you feed your addiction the more you will become an addict."
"What we look up on the internet follows us around, every search every click is recorded and creates an internet profile for us specifically. Then ads chase us around, and before we know it our addiction is staring us in the face each time we log on. In a sense we become what we search. The more you feed your addiction the more you will become an addict."
ok an interesting piece of information I found:
"Effects of masturbation on the body
Headache
Dizziness
Nervousness
Pain in the shoulders and side
Pain in the back and legs
Rheumatism - inflammation or pain in muscles, joints, or fibrous tissue
Loss of appetite leading to weight loss
Fluid retention (edema) ? weight gain
Insomnia
Tiredness
Great exhaustion after exercising
Sallow countenance (your face looks like you have the flu ? that sick, dead look)
Loss of memory and sight
Loss of concentration and focus (brain fog)
Increased risk of cancer
Abrasions or swelling of the penis
Difficulty in performing real sexual intercourse because of a weak erection
Premature ejaculation
Semen leakage
Reduced orgasm
Loss of sex drive towards the opposite sex
Not only will your body be affected, your mind will too."
As a side note the ones that I can relate to my experiences are: Nervousness, Insomnia!!!!, Tiredness!!!!!!, Great exhaustion after exercising!!!, Sallow countenance (your face looks like you have the flu ? that sick, dead look), Loss of memory and sight!!!!!, Loss of concentration and focus (brain fog)!!!!!!!!!!!, Loss of sex drive towards the opposite sex
I'll just say I really hate PMO. For the symptoms it has caused. I have rejoiced now that I have quit it. Everyday I wake up I actually feel ALIVE, HAPPY, my brain can actually think clearly. For the best part of 10 years I have felt like crap mainly due to PMO, I feel like I have got my soul back (its hard to describe.)
I WISH YOU ALL WELL IN QUITTING PMO. It is evil, it feels like you are doing good on the inside but it really is destructive long term. You will only know how good you can be only after you decide to "reboot" so to speak.
"Effects of masturbation on the body
Headache
Dizziness
Nervousness
Pain in the shoulders and side
Pain in the back and legs
Rheumatism - inflammation or pain in muscles, joints, or fibrous tissue
Loss of appetite leading to weight loss
Fluid retention (edema) ? weight gain
Insomnia
Tiredness
Great exhaustion after exercising
Sallow countenance (your face looks like you have the flu ? that sick, dead look)
Loss of memory and sight
Loss of concentration and focus (brain fog)
Increased risk of cancer
Abrasions or swelling of the penis
Difficulty in performing real sexual intercourse because of a weak erection
Premature ejaculation
Semen leakage
Reduced orgasm
Loss of sex drive towards the opposite sex
Not only will your body be affected, your mind will too."
As a side note the ones that I can relate to my experiences are: Nervousness, Insomnia!!!!, Tiredness!!!!!!, Great exhaustion after exercising!!!, Sallow countenance (your face looks like you have the flu ? that sick, dead look), Loss of memory and sight!!!!!, Loss of concentration and focus (brain fog)!!!!!!!!!!!, Loss of sex drive towards the opposite sex
I'll just say I really hate PMO. For the symptoms it has caused. I have rejoiced now that I have quit it. Everyday I wake up I actually feel ALIVE, HAPPY, my brain can actually think clearly. For the best part of 10 years I have felt like crap mainly due to PMO, I feel like I have got my soul back (its hard to describe.)
I WISH YOU ALL WELL IN QUITTING PMO. It is evil, it feels like you are doing good on the inside but it really is destructive long term. You will only know how good you can be only after you decide to "reboot" so to speak.
Another interesting post I read today:
Constant ejaculation can lead to higher estrogen levels which will reduce your anabolic type hormones such as testosterone in your adrenal glands.
Ever wonder why you get tired/sleepy and weak after sex/masturbation? Well it's because your releasing your body's chemicals(dopamine /energy) your store up throughout a period of time. Constant ejaculation can lessen the energy because you are using your batteries more and more without letting it charge.
Things it can lead to: Low mind concentration, Lack of aggression, Soft body, unable to create the necessity for testosterone use of creating muscle mass, low memory, no energy, tired, depression, aging, loss of erection/low libido and DHT which causes hair loss.
As i said before it's the "constant non stop ejaculation" that will hurt you, ejaculation once or twice a weak is recommended and a fine number, because no ejaculation at all can also cause problems.
Actually what the native americans did was have sex all the time but not releasing at all, this will give you a major testosterone boost.
ALSO constant ejaculation CAN lower your androsterones, it's an orderless hormone which turn woman on , it's released through your perspiration area. This is number one most important hormone to guys if you wanna get a woman.Just like any living mammals. So in a way woman can basically tell if you've been ejaculating or not.
Bodybuilders do not jerk off for a long period of time when they train, in result their bodies are full of natural testosterone creating their muscle mass, even though some still take steroids.
If you haven't jerked in a while,say a week or two, don't you feel super horny and notice the incredible energy? That's because your batteries are charged, and your libido is restored. You feel much better and refreshed also.
But it's your body do what you want, sooner or later your body won't cope anymore due to the constant abuse of ejaculation . Weak erections, weak orgasisms, sooner or later it's time for viagra.
Constant ejaculation can lead to higher estrogen levels which will reduce your anabolic type hormones such as testosterone in your adrenal glands.
Ever wonder why you get tired/sleepy and weak after sex/masturbation? Well it's because your releasing your body's chemicals(dopamine /energy) your store up throughout a period of time. Constant ejaculation can lessen the energy because you are using your batteries more and more without letting it charge.
Things it can lead to: Low mind concentration, Lack of aggression, Soft body, unable to create the necessity for testosterone use of creating muscle mass, low memory, no energy, tired, depression, aging, loss of erection/low libido and DHT which causes hair loss.
As i said before it's the "constant non stop ejaculation" that will hurt you, ejaculation once or twice a weak is recommended and a fine number, because no ejaculation at all can also cause problems.
Actually what the native americans did was have sex all the time but not releasing at all, this will give you a major testosterone boost.
ALSO constant ejaculation CAN lower your androsterones, it's an orderless hormone which turn woman on , it's released through your perspiration area. This is number one most important hormone to guys if you wanna get a woman.Just like any living mammals. So in a way woman can basically tell if you've been ejaculating or not.
Bodybuilders do not jerk off for a long period of time when they train, in result their bodies are full of natural testosterone creating their muscle mass, even though some still take steroids.
If you haven't jerked in a while,say a week or two, don't you feel super horny and notice the incredible energy? That's because your batteries are charged, and your libido is restored. You feel much better and refreshed also.
But it's your body do what you want, sooner or later your body won't cope anymore due to the constant abuse of ejaculation . Weak erections, weak orgasisms, sooner or later it's time for viagra.
An interesting thought provoking discussion for those trying to stop PMO with a Christian perspective:
Addicted to Masturbation?
Lasting change begins with right motives
If you are addicted to masturbation, and want to stop, you?ve come to the right place. This is such an important step before considering courtship or marriage for several reasons.
1. Thinking about another woman (or man) lustfully in your heart is adultery (Matthew 5:27-28). You are setting yourself up for infidelity.
2. It sets you up for unrealistic expectations in marriage of how your husband or wife should perform in bed. You will inevitably be disappointed.
3. It decreases your ability to perform when you do get married because your body develops a need for certain stimulation which is unrealistic in marriage (you need something more exciting, more provocative or more dangerous to be aroused. Also the friction of your hand is more abrasive than the friction of intercourse which leads to sexual frustration in marriage.)
4. Masturbation is often used as an escape or coping activity for stress, anger, loneliness, tiredness, or fear, keeping you from developing a dependency on Christ to minister to you in difficult times through His word.
5. It fuels a feeling oriented not principle oriented, self-indulgent not self sacrificing attitude of life. A good marriage (or any relationship for that matter) grows and thrives when both parties look for opportunities to give, not take.
6. Your husband or wife will be very hurt, feeling rejected, replaced, betrayed, and deceived if you carry this on into marriage. Without trust there can be no true intimacy.
I?ve looked to see if other websites have addressed being addicted to masturbation already and to my sadness I mostly found hopeless responses like the following:
?What you're doing is pretty normal to be honest. You're not addicted to anything, just doing what everyone does.?
?For a 16-year-old boy to stop altogether is going against nature, no matter what that Big Punitive God in the Sky says?
It IS a habit many ordinary men and women can't break but that doesn't mean it's not possible. (Don't you want to be extraordinary?) And just because it may be "natural" does not mean it's right. (God wants you to be holy which requires SUPERnatural grace!)
For someone who is experiencing the negative effects of being addicted to masturbation like anxiety, mood swings, guilt, depression, loss of motivation, and fatigue, just to name a few, you need to know that you can find freedom from this! You are not hopeless!
Before going into the ?how to? of overcoming the addiction to masturbation, let?s first discuss a foundational truth about motivation. If I were to ask you why you want freedom from this, what would you say?
I don?t want to burn in hell
I?m tired of all the guilt/shame/depression/anxiety, etc it causes
I can?t focus on school and my performance at work is horrible
I want to enjoy REAL relationships, not virtual, imaginary ones.
I don?t want people thinking I?m not spiritual. I?m afraid of being found out.
I hate myself. I want a better self-image
I know this will prevent me from having a healthy marriage someday
What do all of those reasons have in common? Yourself. They all revolve around you. This is self-worship. Instead your focus should be on the glory of God.
I?m not saying this to add another layer of guilt to your already burdened heart. I?m saying this because if you desire freedom for the wrong reasons you will not be successful in overcoming being addicted to masturbation.
Lasting change happens only with true repentance. True repentance is being sorry for the sin, not just the consequences. Confessions forced from a guilty soul by an awful sense of condemnation and a fear of judgment without a deep, heartbreaking grief in your soul, that you have betrayed the spotless Son of God and denied the Holy One of Israel is the same type of confession that Judas made. But if you begin to work for the glory of God instead of your own glory you will find freedom from this habitual sin.
Here?s why:
You cannot expect God?s assistance if your focus is on yourself and what freedom can do for you.
Isaiah 48:11 says God will not share his glory with another.
In the story of Gideon, God reduced the size of his army so that when they won the battle Israel could not claim glory for itself. (See Judges 7:2)
God does not want us to boast in ourselves or a program we follow. God works for his own glory. (NOTE: glory means honor, praise, exaltation, magnify, spotlight. Jesus was the ?brightness of His glory and the express image of His person? (Hebrews 1:1) Jesus ?glorified? the Father by bringing attention to God?s true character by becoming flesh and giving us a visual, tangible example.)
So ask yourself, ?Is my motive for overcoming to bring honor to myself or honor to God??
This question must be settled if you want to stop being addicted to masturbation. You can either work in concert with God or at cross-purposes with Him.
Let this become your new motto: ?Therefore whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.? (I Corinthians 10:31)
This will ensure your success because God will come to your aid so that he will be glorified.
It reminds me of an 80?s movie about a dorky guy who wanted to become popular. He paid one of the beautiful cheerleaders to go out with him for a month because he knew that association with her would bring him into the ?cool? spotlight. She felt pressured into the deal because she needed the money. Sure enough, his plan worked. When the month was up he made a dramatic ?break up? with her and began acting like a hot shot. With his new single status he began flirting with the other pretty girls. The beautiful cheerleader felt used and betrayed because she actually started liking him. (Can?t Buy Me Love)
The point is - God will not enter into that kind of bargain. He does not want to be used for your own promotion. If you want to be intimate with Him and enjoy the benefits of association with Him it must be out of love to Him, not love for yourself. He wants a genuine commitment and wants the credit for the change he has made in your life.
The root of being addicted to masturbation is self-centeredness. God cannot free you from the addiction without pulling up the root. You must have your focus on the Lord, not yourself. If he were to free you, you'd just find another form of self worship. God wants your heart more than good behavior.
Focusing on the glory of God will inevitably bring change.
?Nevertheless when one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.? (2 Cor 3:16-18, NKJV)
Did you catch those two important points?
1) Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!
2) Whatever you behold is what you become like
You?ve likely tried to quit being addicted to masturbation before and it didn?t last long. Were you thinking about your guilt, your discomfort, and your darkness instead of beholding Jesus and His glory and grace?
Demolishing Strongholds
It's also likely you have wanted to quit but you've allowed some strongholds in your mind and therefore cannot overcome being addicted to masturbation. A stronghold is a false argument/ lie of Satan. Or in the terminology of 1 Corinthians 10:3, "every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God."
1 Corinthians 10:3 "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: 4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ"
This verse says that if we want to win the war against sin, we must use God's mighty weapons which are guaranteed to destroy strongholds. How do we knock down those strongholds? By taking captive every thought and sifting it through the grid of Scripture. Here are some strongholds that have prevented people who are addicted to masturbation from finding freedom.
1. God wouldn't forgive me for this horrible thing, so why even bother? The truth is, God turns NO sinner away. John 6:37 says, "him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out." When the thief on the cross said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth today, you will be with me in paradise" (Luke 23:42-43, NIV). The thief didn't have time to clean up his act first before Jesus would accept him.
In fact, you don't even need to repent before you come to Jesus! Just like forgiveness is a gift, so is repentance. Peter said the Israelites, "Him hath God exalted with His right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins." Acts 5:31. You do not even need to wait till you have repented before you come to Jesus. The invitation is open to all, "Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) Don't let the guilt and struggle of being addicted to masturbation keep you from coming to Jesus.
2. "God, you can't meet this need." This is a lie that God cannot satisfy us intimately. "Nagging deep within us is an incessant craving to find completion by becoming one flesh with another human. Of course, sexual intimacy is a significant part of this. We sell ourselves short - frighteningly so - if we do not realize, however that the cry from our innermost being extends far beyond craving for orgasms...the height of intimacy between two humans, as deep and fulfilling as it is, is superficial, relative to our desperate need to become one spirit with the most astounding Person in the universe." (link)
Psalm 16:11 says, "In thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore." When God created the Garden of Eden, he created the garden of pleasure. Eden means pleasure. God created you, he knows you and he loves you. A relationship with Him will be more satisfying, pleasurable and wonderful than any fleeting stimulation.
The woman at the well had 6 husbands. Apparently she had a thirst for love that nothing had seemed to satisfy. When Jesus offered her His Living water she became so excited that she left her water pot and went to tell others about Him. Jer 2:13 says, "For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water." Remaining addicted to masturbation is like trying to drink water out of a broken water bottle. Drink of the Water of Life and you will never thirst again.
3. I am single and not allowed to have sex, so I need to do something to release these emotions. This stronghold communicates that you believe you are entitled to being addicted to masturbation. That's like saying, "Since I can't find work right now, I can steal this piece of candy." You don't need candy. And you don't need to release your sexual drive through masturbating. Either God's word is true, or He's a liar. Phil 4:19 says, "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." So if he hasn't supplied it, you don't need it. God has given us healthy boundaries not as a means to find the source of pleasure elsewhere, but to find it in Him. And in due time, if its His will, you will get to experience sexual pleasure in marriage. It's definitely worth waiting for.
4. I need to do something to prepare myself for my spouse. In reality, you are endangering your sex life in marriage. Studies have shown that men can develop abrasions or swelling of the penis, difficulty in performing real sexual intercourse because of a weak erection, premature ejaculation, semen leakage, reduced orgasm and loss of sex drive towards the opposite sex. Even females who are addicted to masturbation will find it hard to truly delight in marital sex. One woman shares, "Rather than finding fulfillment in thrilling my husband and in his delight in me ? unleashing sex into a giving, living celebration of love ? I had short-circuited my sexuality, hideously perverting a precious, God-given gift into self-obsession....Sex is divinely designed to be powerfully addictive so as to bond a woman and man together for their entire lives. I have abused this gift, using it to bond myself to myself. "(read her whole testimony here)
If you are ready to give up being addicted to masturbation, confess that to the Lord and let your prayer be:
Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us,
But to Your name give glory,
Because of Your mercy,
Because of Your truth.
(Psalm 115:1, NKJV)
For those looking for more resources because you are really tired of being addicted to masturbation check out www.settingcaptivesfree.com to take their free online Bible study course called "The Way of Purity" as well as www.purelifeministries.org. where they have excellent free resources as well as a book and workbook I recommend for men called "At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry" and one for women called "Create in Me a Pure Heart". They also have a live in program to "detox" from sexual addictions.
Addicted to Masturbation?
Lasting change begins with right motives
If you are addicted to masturbation, and want to stop, you?ve come to the right place. This is such an important step before considering courtship or marriage for several reasons.
1. Thinking about another woman (or man) lustfully in your heart is adultery (Matthew 5:27-28). You are setting yourself up for infidelity.
2. It sets you up for unrealistic expectations in marriage of how your husband or wife should perform in bed. You will inevitably be disappointed.
3. It decreases your ability to perform when you do get married because your body develops a need for certain stimulation which is unrealistic in marriage (you need something more exciting, more provocative or more dangerous to be aroused. Also the friction of your hand is more abrasive than the friction of intercourse which leads to sexual frustration in marriage.)
4. Masturbation is often used as an escape or coping activity for stress, anger, loneliness, tiredness, or fear, keeping you from developing a dependency on Christ to minister to you in difficult times through His word.
5. It fuels a feeling oriented not principle oriented, self-indulgent not self sacrificing attitude of life. A good marriage (or any relationship for that matter) grows and thrives when both parties look for opportunities to give, not take.
6. Your husband or wife will be very hurt, feeling rejected, replaced, betrayed, and deceived if you carry this on into marriage. Without trust there can be no true intimacy.
I?ve looked to see if other websites have addressed being addicted to masturbation already and to my sadness I mostly found hopeless responses like the following:
?What you're doing is pretty normal to be honest. You're not addicted to anything, just doing what everyone does.?
?For a 16-year-old boy to stop altogether is going against nature, no matter what that Big Punitive God in the Sky says?
It IS a habit many ordinary men and women can't break but that doesn't mean it's not possible. (Don't you want to be extraordinary?) And just because it may be "natural" does not mean it's right. (God wants you to be holy which requires SUPERnatural grace!)
For someone who is experiencing the negative effects of being addicted to masturbation like anxiety, mood swings, guilt, depression, loss of motivation, and fatigue, just to name a few, you need to know that you can find freedom from this! You are not hopeless!
Before going into the ?how to? of overcoming the addiction to masturbation, let?s first discuss a foundational truth about motivation. If I were to ask you why you want freedom from this, what would you say?
I don?t want to burn in hell
I?m tired of all the guilt/shame/depression/anxiety, etc it causes
I can?t focus on school and my performance at work is horrible
I want to enjoy REAL relationships, not virtual, imaginary ones.
I don?t want people thinking I?m not spiritual. I?m afraid of being found out.
I hate myself. I want a better self-image
I know this will prevent me from having a healthy marriage someday
What do all of those reasons have in common? Yourself. They all revolve around you. This is self-worship. Instead your focus should be on the glory of God.
I?m not saying this to add another layer of guilt to your already burdened heart. I?m saying this because if you desire freedom for the wrong reasons you will not be successful in overcoming being addicted to masturbation.
Lasting change happens only with true repentance. True repentance is being sorry for the sin, not just the consequences. Confessions forced from a guilty soul by an awful sense of condemnation and a fear of judgment without a deep, heartbreaking grief in your soul, that you have betrayed the spotless Son of God and denied the Holy One of Israel is the same type of confession that Judas made. But if you begin to work for the glory of God instead of your own glory you will find freedom from this habitual sin.
Here?s why:
You cannot expect God?s assistance if your focus is on yourself and what freedom can do for you.
Isaiah 48:11 says God will not share his glory with another.
In the story of Gideon, God reduced the size of his army so that when they won the battle Israel could not claim glory for itself. (See Judges 7:2)
God does not want us to boast in ourselves or a program we follow. God works for his own glory. (NOTE: glory means honor, praise, exaltation, magnify, spotlight. Jesus was the ?brightness of His glory and the express image of His person? (Hebrews 1:1) Jesus ?glorified? the Father by bringing attention to God?s true character by becoming flesh and giving us a visual, tangible example.)
So ask yourself, ?Is my motive for overcoming to bring honor to myself or honor to God??
This question must be settled if you want to stop being addicted to masturbation. You can either work in concert with God or at cross-purposes with Him.
Let this become your new motto: ?Therefore whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.? (I Corinthians 10:31)
This will ensure your success because God will come to your aid so that he will be glorified.
It reminds me of an 80?s movie about a dorky guy who wanted to become popular. He paid one of the beautiful cheerleaders to go out with him for a month because he knew that association with her would bring him into the ?cool? spotlight. She felt pressured into the deal because she needed the money. Sure enough, his plan worked. When the month was up he made a dramatic ?break up? with her and began acting like a hot shot. With his new single status he began flirting with the other pretty girls. The beautiful cheerleader felt used and betrayed because she actually started liking him. (Can?t Buy Me Love)
The point is - God will not enter into that kind of bargain. He does not want to be used for your own promotion. If you want to be intimate with Him and enjoy the benefits of association with Him it must be out of love to Him, not love for yourself. He wants a genuine commitment and wants the credit for the change he has made in your life.
The root of being addicted to masturbation is self-centeredness. God cannot free you from the addiction without pulling up the root. You must have your focus on the Lord, not yourself. If he were to free you, you'd just find another form of self worship. God wants your heart more than good behavior.
Focusing on the glory of God will inevitably bring change.
?Nevertheless when one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.? (2 Cor 3:16-18, NKJV)
Did you catch those two important points?
1) Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!
2) Whatever you behold is what you become like
You?ve likely tried to quit being addicted to masturbation before and it didn?t last long. Were you thinking about your guilt, your discomfort, and your darkness instead of beholding Jesus and His glory and grace?
Demolishing Strongholds
It's also likely you have wanted to quit but you've allowed some strongholds in your mind and therefore cannot overcome being addicted to masturbation. A stronghold is a false argument/ lie of Satan. Or in the terminology of 1 Corinthians 10:3, "every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God."
1 Corinthians 10:3 "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: 4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ"This verse says that if we want to win the war against sin, we must use God's mighty weapons which are guaranteed to destroy strongholds. How do we knock down those strongholds? By taking captive every thought and sifting it through the grid of Scripture. Here are some strongholds that have prevented people who are addicted to masturbation from finding freedom.
1. God wouldn't forgive me for this horrible thing, so why even bother? The truth is, God turns NO sinner away. John 6:37 says, "him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out." When the thief on the cross said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth today, you will be with me in paradise" (Luke 23:42-43, NIV). The thief didn't have time to clean up his act first before Jesus would accept him.
In fact, you don't even need to repent before you come to Jesus! Just like forgiveness is a gift, so is repentance. Peter said the Israelites, "Him hath God exalted with His right hand to be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance to Israel, and forgiveness of sins." Acts 5:31. You do not even need to wait till you have repented before you come to Jesus. The invitation is open to all, "Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) Don't let the guilt and struggle of being addicted to masturbation keep you from coming to Jesus.
2. "God, you can't meet this need." This is a lie that God cannot satisfy us intimately. "Nagging deep within us is an incessant craving to find completion by becoming one flesh with another human. Of course, sexual intimacy is a significant part of this. We sell ourselves short - frighteningly so - if we do not realize, however that the cry from our innermost being extends far beyond craving for orgasms...the height of intimacy between two humans, as deep and fulfilling as it is, is superficial, relative to our desperate need to become one spirit with the most astounding Person in the universe." (link)
Psalm 16:11 says, "In thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore." When God created the Garden of Eden, he created the garden of pleasure. Eden means pleasure. God created you, he knows you and he loves you. A relationship with Him will be more satisfying, pleasurable and wonderful than any fleeting stimulation.
The woman at the well had 6 husbands. Apparently she had a thirst for love that nothing had seemed to satisfy. When Jesus offered her His Living water she became so excited that she left her water pot and went to tell others about Him. Jer 2:13 says, "For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water." Remaining addicted to masturbation is like trying to drink water out of a broken water bottle. Drink of the Water of Life and you will never thirst again.
3. I am single and not allowed to have sex, so I need to do something to release these emotions. This stronghold communicates that you believe you are entitled to being addicted to masturbation. That's like saying, "Since I can't find work right now, I can steal this piece of candy." You don't need candy. And you don't need to release your sexual drive through masturbating. Either God's word is true, or He's a liar. Phil 4:19 says, "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." So if he hasn't supplied it, you don't need it. God has given us healthy boundaries not as a means to find the source of pleasure elsewhere, but to find it in Him. And in due time, if its His will, you will get to experience sexual pleasure in marriage. It's definitely worth waiting for.
4. I need to do something to prepare myself for my spouse. In reality, you are endangering your sex life in marriage. Studies have shown that men can develop abrasions or swelling of the penis, difficulty in performing real sexual intercourse because of a weak erection, premature ejaculation, semen leakage, reduced orgasm and loss of sex drive towards the opposite sex. Even females who are addicted to masturbation will find it hard to truly delight in marital sex. One woman shares, "Rather than finding fulfillment in thrilling my husband and in his delight in me ? unleashing sex into a giving, living celebration of love ? I had short-circuited my sexuality, hideously perverting a precious, God-given gift into self-obsession....Sex is divinely designed to be powerfully addictive so as to bond a woman and man together for their entire lives. I have abused this gift, using it to bond myself to myself. "(read her whole testimony here)
If you are ready to give up being addicted to masturbation, confess that to the Lord and let your prayer be:
Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us,
But to Your name give glory,
Because of Your mercy,
Because of Your truth.
(Psalm 115:1, NKJV)
For those looking for more resources because you are really tired of being addicted to masturbation check out www.settingcaptivesfree.com to take their free online Bible study course called "The Way of Purity" as well as www.purelifeministries.org. where they have excellent free resources as well as a book and workbook I recommend for men called "At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry" and one for women called "Create in Me a Pure Heart". They also have a live in program to "detox" from sexual addictions.
The very, very first step in overcoming masturbation is having the right motive. Instead of stopping because you are tired of all the side effects and want your life back, stop because you want to glorify God.
Read Part 1 in my series on masturbation to understand more about this. Without the right motive, you will be working at cross purposes with God and will not find the victory to be lasting. This victory is essential before starting a courtship and especially before marriage.
Once you have the right motive, you are on the fast track to freedom. Let?s look at overcoming masturbation from a holistic approach. There are three components that will give you the strength to do this. I will briefly introduce each one and then cover them in more detail.
God?s Word (Spiritual) ? Most people don?t know what God actually has to say about sexuality. You probably have an internal sense of shame and guilt, but could you explain to someone else why it?s wrong? Understanding your problem from a Biblical perspective will give inner motivation and spiritual strength to slay this giant and begin overcoming masturbation.
Diet and lifestyle (Physical) ? Self control is HUGELY affected by what you eat, how much water you drink, how much sleep you get, and how much you exercise. Have you ever seen someone get stressed and cranky because they didn?t have caffeine? You wouldn't recommend them to see a counselor to handle their irritability would you? No. You'd tell them to stop drinking coffee or soda. In the same way, your brain has actually developed an addiction to the dopamine and endorphins that are released when you masturbate so when you try to stop you become miserable and feel like you ?need? to do it to feel normal again. Providing your body with the right environment and physical support is critical to push through the ?withdrawal? symptoms.
Common sense (Mental) ? There are certain things you should start doing and stop doing if you really want to begin overcoming masturbation. No psychology degree needed!
Now let?s look at all three in more depth:
1. Spiritual strength - God?s Word
The world?s paradigm vs. God?s word
Many Christians never progress in overcoming masturbation because they have not come to the point of really believing that it?s a sin. The world considers it to be as innocent as going to the bathroom. If you feel pressure on your bladder, you find a bathroom and go pee. If you feel sexual pressure building up, you find a private place and ?release that tension?.
They say it?s a harmless and legitimate way to have sexual release, especially if you are single, if your husband or wife is gone for a long time, or if you would otherwise commit a crime if you didn?t. Since the word ?masturbation? is not mentioned in the Bible, they say God does not care if you do or don?t. And if God doesn?t care, nobody else should either, so stop meddling!
But the Bible says that without holiness ?no man shall see the Lord? (Hebrews 12:14)
It also says, ?Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.? (Matthew 5:8)
In overcoming masturbation, you must decide if it is a hindrance to holiness and purity of heart. If it is, Scripture promises that you will not see God.
Be decisive
You will never find overcoming masturbation successful you are indecisive on this point because you will not have the courage to win the battle that lies before you. Purity and godliness must mean enough to you to warrant the effort.
To do this you must know what God?s word teaches.?Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy word.? (Ps 119:9, KJV)
God?s word is the antidote for impurity.
But you may already know the Bible doesn't approve of this and you still do it. Why is that? You must be motivated by a fear of the Lord.
?By the fear of the Lord men depart from evil.? (Pr. 16:6 KJV)
A person who fears the Lord will not look to push the limits of sin. They will see sin as a poison that must be eradicated at any cost. The cry of your heart must be to please the Lord and glorify Him (If you haven't read Part 1, do that now).
Have you firmly concluded that it is evil? I know for me, if I consider something to be
- ?not best?
- ?last resort"
- ?okay under certain circumstances? or believe
- ?The Lord understands,?
- ?As long as I?m temperate...?
I will always go back to it. Until I firmly decide that a certain activity is sin, the temptation will always get me to give in. But something interesting and wonderful happens when I finally decide something is sin and I will not indulge. I don?t even want it anymore.
This is actually a law of the mind that when all hope is removed from getting what you want, your mind will stop longing for it and will occupy itself in other pursuits. (See Child Guidance, Ellen White, p. 283)
Think about that. Let?s say your sister just had a birthday party and you know there?s chocolate cake in the fridge. You may think about it all day and anticipate coming home from school to enjoy a slice. But when you get home you see it?s all gone. You may feel frustrated for a moment, but when you know it?s unavailable, it?s not an option anymore, your brain will have to make the adjustment and stop craving it. Then you?ll find another avenue to satisfy your taste buds. This is a law of the mind. In overcoming masturbation, this principle is key.
5 Biblical Reasons for Overcoming Masturbation
The Bible presents only two options for dealing with sexual passion: Self control or Marriage
In 1 Corinthians 7:9 God addresses the plight that many single people have. ?If they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn?
God does not say, ?It is better to masturbate than to burn.? Masturbation does not put out the fire. It only adds fuel to it.
Some may believe masturbation is a normal function and unless carried on into marriage, usually proves to be harmless. But, what they do not realize is that sex is a desire that God gave us; not a need.
They give the argument that sex is like food. Just like it is natural and healthy to eat when you are hungry, it is also natural and healthy to masturbate when you are aroused. If you eat too much you become a slave to appetite so you just need to be temperate. So, as long as you are temperate in your masturbation habits, it?s okay.
It is true that hunger and sexual desire are natural responses God endowed us with, but if you go without food you?ll die. If you go without sex, you?ll live. One is a need. The other is a want.
When you live by faith, you cannot believe the promises of God to supply all your needs (Phil. 4:19), to make a way out of every temptation (Hebrews 10:13), to keep you from falling (Jude 24) and masturbate at the same time.
Romans 14:23 says, ?Everything that does not come from faith is sin" (Romans 14:23).
Masturbation is not of faith, therefore it is sin. When sexual passion arises within you, your two options are self control or marriage. I recommend practicing self control because even in marriage you?ll need it. Overcoming masturbation now will be a blessing to your sex life long term.
Your sexuality is for the benefit of your lawful partner
?The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ? (1 Corinthians 7:4-5, NASU)
The passage here is saying that your body does not belong to yourself. Your sexual capacity does not exist for yourself but should be used to benefit your future husband or wife. Masturbation is a perversion of the sexual act because it is by its very nature a completely self-centered act. Love gives. Lust takes. This is God?s paradigm of sexuality.
The modern, pleasure driven culture?s idea of sexuality is that masturbation is their right. But masturbation ?represents the very antithesis of the disciplined life Jesus expects from His followers and its selfishness is utterly foreign to the Kingdom of God.?(Steve Gallagher, Create in me a Pure Heart, p.73)
Self denial is at the core of God?s Kingdom and is the lifestyle of any disciple. ?If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.? (Luke 9:23 NASU)
If you really want a good sex life, adopt the philosophy of Acts 20:35. ?It is more blessed to give than to receive.? This is the attitude God designed us to have regarding sex and you won?t be completely fulfilled unless you operate in harmony with your design. Overcoming masturbation will be a gift to your spouse and an evidence of true discipleship.
Masturbation is driven by lust and fantasy
In the garden of Eden God said it is not good for man to be alone. To resolve this dilemma, God did not instruct Adam to self-stimulate. Instead he created a partner suitable for him. Of course there were also reasons of companionship and procreation in mind, but it is apparent that sexual activity was never designed to be conducted as a solitaire, mechanical, physical activity.
It must involve another person, if not physically then mentally. To create the sexual excitement necessary to bring yourself to orgasm requires that you focus your thoughts on someone else whether that is a pornographic picture, a mental image of someone you know or some sexual romantic fantasy. Jesus clearly says that lusting after another person in your heart is adultery (Matthew 5:27-28). This should be enough to want to start overcoming masturbation.
Read Part 1 in my series on masturbation to understand more about this. Without the right motive, you will be working at cross purposes with God and will not find the victory to be lasting. This victory is essential before starting a courtship and especially before marriage.
Once you have the right motive, you are on the fast track to freedom. Let?s look at overcoming masturbation from a holistic approach. There are three components that will give you the strength to do this. I will briefly introduce each one and then cover them in more detail.
God?s Word (Spiritual) ? Most people don?t know what God actually has to say about sexuality. You probably have an internal sense of shame and guilt, but could you explain to someone else why it?s wrong? Understanding your problem from a Biblical perspective will give inner motivation and spiritual strength to slay this giant and begin overcoming masturbation.
Diet and lifestyle (Physical) ? Self control is HUGELY affected by what you eat, how much water you drink, how much sleep you get, and how much you exercise. Have you ever seen someone get stressed and cranky because they didn?t have caffeine? You wouldn't recommend them to see a counselor to handle their irritability would you? No. You'd tell them to stop drinking coffee or soda. In the same way, your brain has actually developed an addiction to the dopamine and endorphins that are released when you masturbate so when you try to stop you become miserable and feel like you ?need? to do it to feel normal again. Providing your body with the right environment and physical support is critical to push through the ?withdrawal? symptoms.
Common sense (Mental) ? There are certain things you should start doing and stop doing if you really want to begin overcoming masturbation. No psychology degree needed!
Now let?s look at all three in more depth:
1. Spiritual strength - God?s Word
The world?s paradigm vs. God?s word
Many Christians never progress in overcoming masturbation because they have not come to the point of really believing that it?s a sin. The world considers it to be as innocent as going to the bathroom. If you feel pressure on your bladder, you find a bathroom and go pee. If you feel sexual pressure building up, you find a private place and ?release that tension?.
They say it?s a harmless and legitimate way to have sexual release, especially if you are single, if your husband or wife is gone for a long time, or if you would otherwise commit a crime if you didn?t. Since the word ?masturbation? is not mentioned in the Bible, they say God does not care if you do or don?t. And if God doesn?t care, nobody else should either, so stop meddling!
But the Bible says that without holiness ?no man shall see the Lord? (Hebrews 12:14)
It also says, ?Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.? (Matthew 5:8)
In overcoming masturbation, you must decide if it is a hindrance to holiness and purity of heart. If it is, Scripture promises that you will not see God.
Be decisive
You will never find overcoming masturbation successful you are indecisive on this point because you will not have the courage to win the battle that lies before you. Purity and godliness must mean enough to you to warrant the effort.
To do this you must know what God?s word teaches.?Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy word.? (Ps 119:9, KJV)
God?s word is the antidote for impurity.
But you may already know the Bible doesn't approve of this and you still do it. Why is that? You must be motivated by a fear of the Lord.
?By the fear of the Lord men depart from evil.? (Pr. 16:6 KJV)
A person who fears the Lord will not look to push the limits of sin. They will see sin as a poison that must be eradicated at any cost. The cry of your heart must be to please the Lord and glorify Him (If you haven't read Part 1, do that now).
Have you firmly concluded that it is evil? I know for me, if I consider something to be
- ?not best?
- ?last resort"
- ?okay under certain circumstances? or believe
- ?The Lord understands,?
- ?As long as I?m temperate...?
I will always go back to it. Until I firmly decide that a certain activity is sin, the temptation will always get me to give in. But something interesting and wonderful happens when I finally decide something is sin and I will not indulge. I don?t even want it anymore.
This is actually a law of the mind that when all hope is removed from getting what you want, your mind will stop longing for it and will occupy itself in other pursuits. (See Child Guidance, Ellen White, p. 283)
Think about that. Let?s say your sister just had a birthday party and you know there?s chocolate cake in the fridge. You may think about it all day and anticipate coming home from school to enjoy a slice. But when you get home you see it?s all gone. You may feel frustrated for a moment, but when you know it?s unavailable, it?s not an option anymore, your brain will have to make the adjustment and stop craving it. Then you?ll find another avenue to satisfy your taste buds. This is a law of the mind. In overcoming masturbation, this principle is key.
5 Biblical Reasons for Overcoming Masturbation
The Bible presents only two options for dealing with sexual passion: Self control or Marriage
In 1 Corinthians 7:9 God addresses the plight that many single people have. ?If they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn?
God does not say, ?It is better to masturbate than to burn.? Masturbation does not put out the fire. It only adds fuel to it.
Some may believe masturbation is a normal function and unless carried on into marriage, usually proves to be harmless. But, what they do not realize is that sex is a desire that God gave us; not a need.
They give the argument that sex is like food. Just like it is natural and healthy to eat when you are hungry, it is also natural and healthy to masturbate when you are aroused. If you eat too much you become a slave to appetite so you just need to be temperate. So, as long as you are temperate in your masturbation habits, it?s okay.
It is true that hunger and sexual desire are natural responses God endowed us with, but if you go without food you?ll die. If you go without sex, you?ll live. One is a need. The other is a want.
When you live by faith, you cannot believe the promises of God to supply all your needs (Phil. 4:19), to make a way out of every temptation (Hebrews 10:13), to keep you from falling (Jude 24) and masturbate at the same time.
Romans 14:23 says, ?Everything that does not come from faith is sin" (Romans 14:23).
Masturbation is not of faith, therefore it is sin. When sexual passion arises within you, your two options are self control or marriage. I recommend practicing self control because even in marriage you?ll need it. Overcoming masturbation now will be a blessing to your sex life long term.
Your sexuality is for the benefit of your lawful partner
?The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ? (1 Corinthians 7:4-5, NASU)
The passage here is saying that your body does not belong to yourself. Your sexual capacity does not exist for yourself but should be used to benefit your future husband or wife. Masturbation is a perversion of the sexual act because it is by its very nature a completely self-centered act. Love gives. Lust takes. This is God?s paradigm of sexuality.
The modern, pleasure driven culture?s idea of sexuality is that masturbation is their right. But masturbation ?represents the very antithesis of the disciplined life Jesus expects from His followers and its selfishness is utterly foreign to the Kingdom of God.?(Steve Gallagher, Create in me a Pure Heart, p.73)
Self denial is at the core of God?s Kingdom and is the lifestyle of any disciple. ?If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.? (Luke 9:23 NASU)
If you really want a good sex life, adopt the philosophy of Acts 20:35. ?It is more blessed to give than to receive.? This is the attitude God designed us to have regarding sex and you won?t be completely fulfilled unless you operate in harmony with your design. Overcoming masturbation will be a gift to your spouse and an evidence of true discipleship.
Masturbation is driven by lust and fantasy
In the garden of Eden God said it is not good for man to be alone. To resolve this dilemma, God did not instruct Adam to self-stimulate. Instead he created a partner suitable for him. Of course there were also reasons of companionship and procreation in mind, but it is apparent that sexual activity was never designed to be conducted as a solitaire, mechanical, physical activity.
It must involve another person, if not physically then mentally. To create the sexual excitement necessary to bring yourself to orgasm requires that you focus your thoughts on someone else whether that is a pornographic picture, a mental image of someone you know or some sexual romantic fantasy. Jesus clearly says that lusting after another person in your heart is adultery (Matthew 5:27-28). This should be enough to want to start overcoming masturbation.
Masturbation makes you a slave
Rom 6:13-14 says, ?Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14 For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.?(NIV)
Notice how many times these verses use the word ?offer?? If you offer food to idols or offer a lamb sacrifice to God, you are worshipping. It isn?t just something you are doing in private. How we treat our body reveals who we worship and who we serve. If you are not overcoming masturbation, you are essentially putting your body on the altar to the god of lust.
But if you are tired of being lust?s slave, with its never ending demands for more, the solution is simple. In the verse above it says to offer your body to God as instruments of righteousness. You will then become a slave to Christ which will produce complete freedom from masturbation.
Also, in Galatians 5:16 it says, ?This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.? (Gal 5:16, KJV)
Walking in the Spirit is the antidote for fulfilling the lusts of the flesh. What does ?Walking in the Spirit? look like in practical terms? Look at the next verse.
"Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires" (Romans 8:5).
What you set your mind on determines whether or not you will live according to the flesh or walk in the Spirit. It means thinking about what pleases God in contrast to fixing your mind on things like nudity and sex, which outside of marriage, does not please God.
"So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God" (Romans 8:8). Overcoming masturbation is therefore essential to please God.
Doorway to Other Sin
Do not delay overcoming masturbation because it is only a matter of time before you will want to view more pornography, begin visiting strip clubs, adult video arcades, prostitutes, spend large sums of money on phone sex, explore homosexuality or lesbianism, become sexually active, become a peeping Tom, have online sexual conversations or become involved in the adult entertainment industry, just to name a few. The fact is, lust is never satisfied. ?Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.? (Proverbs 27:20)
2. Diet and Lifestyle (Physical)
One website I found about overcoming masturbation has been very paradigm shifting. The author brings out that it is important to address emotional, mental and spiritual factors, but if you neglect the physical you are guaranteed to fail. He gave the example of drinking a lot of water and trying to fight the urge to urinate. It doesn't make sense. In the same way, you can't break the laws of physiology (treating your body like trash) and expect it to perform like an Olympic champion. Or in this case, you will not be able to begin overcoming masturbation unless you begin reforming your diet and lifestyle habits.
Willpower really comes from having neuron density in the prefrontal cortex of your brain. "It?s in that region that executive skills such as impulse control and judgment live" says Kelly McGonigal, author of the ?The Willpower Instinct?. If you want to increase your level of willpower you must focus on the following areas.
Sleep - This is the most important of all the health related habits for increasing willpower for overcoming masturbation. When you sleep, amazing chemical processes begin in your body, but you won't reap as many benefits the later you go to sleep even if you sleep in longer. Dr. Demitt, author of "The Promise of Sleep" and the world's leading authority on sleep science recommends going to bed at 9:00 pm at the latest. Your willpower is fueled by glucose and sleep deprivation ruins glucose metabolism. For many people, the most tempting moments are right before bed or when they wake up. These are the two times of the day when you are the most tired and need brain strength. If you get a good night's rest you will be able to think more clearly and rationally
The following video shows how sleep affects the brain.
Diet - Consider the following paradigm this website takes for overcoming masturbation.
"Masturbation is a physical disease. Look at the word disease. It is dis-ease. Your body is not at ease, it's uneasy with that junk inside you. Would you eat something called garbage food? toilet food? But you will eat junk food. Think about this: Imagine that you are your intestines and someone covered you with bloody hamburger meat, rotting cow pus (cheese), chicken periods (eggs), slimy pus-filled mammary excretions (milk), abrasive chemicals (additives), and plastic fat (hydrogenated oil). Would you be glad about that? Would you feel comfortable if someone ate a big meal of chili dogs and then vomited all over you? That would feel gross and you would want to get clean immediately. But what if someone spilled fresh orange juice on your hand or knocked their bowl of salad or rice all over your shoes, how would you feel? Not the same is it? So it is with your body. Sicknesses, diseases, and addictions have a physical foundation created by our lifestyle habits. It?s like bacteria that can only grow in certain conditions. Masturbation and low willpower exist when we create the environment for them to exist and grow. When we disrespect and ignore the laws of health that govern our mind and bodies we create conditions for the bacteria to grow so to speak...So in summary remember that masturbation, pornography, and other habits are physical and they have physical causes and physical solutions."
Instead of overcoming masturbation by focusing on the addiction, the author also says, "Don't try to fight masturbation. When you fight masturbation, you have to give it your attention and anything that has your attention has power over you...the best use of your energy is toward being healthy and not trying to resist being sick."
Your brain is your largest sex organ, not your penis or vagina. The food you eat gets converted into blood and that blood feeds your brain. So you must choose a diet that will provide your brain with good quality blood. Here are the most important elements for good blood so your brain can make healthy daily decisions for overcoming masturbation.
- Eat a simple diet of fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Strive for nutrient density. If you don't understand nutrient density, just Google it and learn all you can. ?
- Don't eat highly seasoned, processed foods. They create a feverish condition in the system and inflame the animal passions and will not help you in overcoming masturbation. ?
- Don't eat meat or dairy. Eating dead food will result in a dead body.
"If you want to stop masturbating then stop eating anything with a penis or vagina" (www.howtostopmasturbation.com) ?
- Stop eating refined sugars and foods with lots of oil. Again, these are not nutrient dense. They will not infuse your blood with blessings but curses.
You will always find that gaining control over your appetite will enable you to gain control in other areas of your life, especially in overcoming masturbation. Ever noticed that Satan tempted both Eve and Jesus with appetite?
Water - Make it your goal to pee clear, not yellow. Your body is made up of 70% water. All of your organs need water to function properly. Like an engine stops working without oil, your brain stops working without water. If you are wanting to make better long term choices in life, stop buying soda and start drinking water. If you think this sounds too simplistic, Google dehydration and cognitive performance. Your attitude, energy level, mental clarity and willpower are dependent upon how much water you drink.
Exercise - Exercising releases good brain chemicals like endorphins and serotonin. The good feelings you get from exercise can be substituted for the good feelings you get from masturbating. That's why some people actually get addicted to exercising. When you start doing the first three (sleep, good diet and water) you'll feel more like doing this last one.
3. Common Sense (Mental)
Purify the imagination - Dwell only upon pure and elevated subjects. This will be hard but just humbly pray and Jesus will give you strength to overcome the most powerful temptations.
WORK. Do hard work. Real work. Outside work. Go work on a farm if you can (seriously!) One of the biggest reasons people get snared in this habit is because they are too idle and their parents never required them to do much. Idle hands are the Devil's workshop.
Get rid of pornography - In your journey of overcoming masturbation, this is non-negotiable. Burn your magazines, wipe your hard drive and get some computer software that effectively blocks adult content.
Get rid of sex toys.
Take cold showers or set a timer and get out when it goes off.
Stop being idle - instead of wasting time on Facebook, Instragram or You-tube get off your computer or iphone and be productive. Start cleaning, cooking, doing your homework, play an instrument, take a walk, go for a bike ride, paint, draw, play a sport, read a book, memorize scripture, plant a garden, plan a trip, or do some act of service for someone. Figure out your aim in life and get busy reaching some goals! Aimlessness is your enemy!
Stop being alone so much. Plan time with your family and friends.
Don't just sit in your room, and if you do, keep your door open. Sit in the living room, go to the library or a coffee shop. If you have too much free time, get an extra job.
Take one day at a time. Set small goals. Start with one day. Then three days. Then a week. If you relapse, don't get discouraged, persevere.
Ask for help. "The power of sin is in secrecy." This is why the Bible speaks so highly of "walking in the light" (1 John 1:7). You need support and encouragement.
Guard your ears and eyes. Stop listening to music about sex and romance. Stop playing video games with provocative characters (even if they are cartoonish). Stop watching movies that promote immorality. If you have friends who encourage sexually related conversation or listen to suggestive music, you must stop being around them. Find new friends.
Pray. Claim a promise in your prayer, "Lord help me to walk in the Spirit so that I don't fulfill the lusts of the flesh." Then pray for someone else. Intercede for their salvation. Get your mind off yourself and look to Jesus who is mighty to save.
Rom 6:13-14 says, ?Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14 For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.?(NIV)
Notice how many times these verses use the word ?offer?? If you offer food to idols or offer a lamb sacrifice to God, you are worshipping. It isn?t just something you are doing in private. How we treat our body reveals who we worship and who we serve. If you are not overcoming masturbation, you are essentially putting your body on the altar to the god of lust.
But if you are tired of being lust?s slave, with its never ending demands for more, the solution is simple. In the verse above it says to offer your body to God as instruments of righteousness. You will then become a slave to Christ which will produce complete freedom from masturbation.
Also, in Galatians 5:16 it says, ?This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.? (Gal 5:16, KJV)
Walking in the Spirit is the antidote for fulfilling the lusts of the flesh. What does ?Walking in the Spirit? look like in practical terms? Look at the next verse.
"Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires" (Romans 8:5).
What you set your mind on determines whether or not you will live according to the flesh or walk in the Spirit. It means thinking about what pleases God in contrast to fixing your mind on things like nudity and sex, which outside of marriage, does not please God.
"So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God" (Romans 8:8). Overcoming masturbation is therefore essential to please God.
Doorway to Other Sin
Do not delay overcoming masturbation because it is only a matter of time before you will want to view more pornography, begin visiting strip clubs, adult video arcades, prostitutes, spend large sums of money on phone sex, explore homosexuality or lesbianism, become sexually active, become a peeping Tom, have online sexual conversations or become involved in the adult entertainment industry, just to name a few. The fact is, lust is never satisfied. ?Hell and destruction are never full; so the eyes of man are never satisfied.? (Proverbs 27:20)
2. Diet and Lifestyle (Physical)
One website I found about overcoming masturbation has been very paradigm shifting. The author brings out that it is important to address emotional, mental and spiritual factors, but if you neglect the physical you are guaranteed to fail. He gave the example of drinking a lot of water and trying to fight the urge to urinate. It doesn't make sense. In the same way, you can't break the laws of physiology (treating your body like trash) and expect it to perform like an Olympic champion. Or in this case, you will not be able to begin overcoming masturbation unless you begin reforming your diet and lifestyle habits.
Willpower really comes from having neuron density in the prefrontal cortex of your brain. "It?s in that region that executive skills such as impulse control and judgment live" says Kelly McGonigal, author of the ?The Willpower Instinct?. If you want to increase your level of willpower you must focus on the following areas.
Sleep - This is the most important of all the health related habits for increasing willpower for overcoming masturbation. When you sleep, amazing chemical processes begin in your body, but you won't reap as many benefits the later you go to sleep even if you sleep in longer. Dr. Demitt, author of "The Promise of Sleep" and the world's leading authority on sleep science recommends going to bed at 9:00 pm at the latest. Your willpower is fueled by glucose and sleep deprivation ruins glucose metabolism. For many people, the most tempting moments are right before bed or when they wake up. These are the two times of the day when you are the most tired and need brain strength. If you get a good night's rest you will be able to think more clearly and rationally
The following video shows how sleep affects the brain.
Diet - Consider the following paradigm this website takes for overcoming masturbation.
"Masturbation is a physical disease. Look at the word disease. It is dis-ease. Your body is not at ease, it's uneasy with that junk inside you. Would you eat something called garbage food? toilet food? But you will eat junk food. Think about this: Imagine that you are your intestines and someone covered you with bloody hamburger meat, rotting cow pus (cheese), chicken periods (eggs), slimy pus-filled mammary excretions (milk), abrasive chemicals (additives), and plastic fat (hydrogenated oil). Would you be glad about that? Would you feel comfortable if someone ate a big meal of chili dogs and then vomited all over you? That would feel gross and you would want to get clean immediately. But what if someone spilled fresh orange juice on your hand or knocked their bowl of salad or rice all over your shoes, how would you feel? Not the same is it? So it is with your body. Sicknesses, diseases, and addictions have a physical foundation created by our lifestyle habits. It?s like bacteria that can only grow in certain conditions. Masturbation and low willpower exist when we create the environment for them to exist and grow. When we disrespect and ignore the laws of health that govern our mind and bodies we create conditions for the bacteria to grow so to speak...So in summary remember that masturbation, pornography, and other habits are physical and they have physical causes and physical solutions."
Instead of overcoming masturbation by focusing on the addiction, the author also says, "Don't try to fight masturbation. When you fight masturbation, you have to give it your attention and anything that has your attention has power over you...the best use of your energy is toward being healthy and not trying to resist being sick."
Your brain is your largest sex organ, not your penis or vagina. The food you eat gets converted into blood and that blood feeds your brain. So you must choose a diet that will provide your brain with good quality blood. Here are the most important elements for good blood so your brain can make healthy daily decisions for overcoming masturbation.
- Eat a simple diet of fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Strive for nutrient density. If you don't understand nutrient density, just Google it and learn all you can. ?
- Don't eat highly seasoned, processed foods. They create a feverish condition in the system and inflame the animal passions and will not help you in overcoming masturbation. ?
- Don't eat meat or dairy. Eating dead food will result in a dead body.
"If you want to stop masturbating then stop eating anything with a penis or vagina" (www.howtostopmasturbation.com) ?
- Stop eating refined sugars and foods with lots of oil. Again, these are not nutrient dense. They will not infuse your blood with blessings but curses.
You will always find that gaining control over your appetite will enable you to gain control in other areas of your life, especially in overcoming masturbation. Ever noticed that Satan tempted both Eve and Jesus with appetite?
Water - Make it your goal to pee clear, not yellow. Your body is made up of 70% water. All of your organs need water to function properly. Like an engine stops working without oil, your brain stops working without water. If you are wanting to make better long term choices in life, stop buying soda and start drinking water. If you think this sounds too simplistic, Google dehydration and cognitive performance. Your attitude, energy level, mental clarity and willpower are dependent upon how much water you drink.
Exercise - Exercising releases good brain chemicals like endorphins and serotonin. The good feelings you get from exercise can be substituted for the good feelings you get from masturbating. That's why some people actually get addicted to exercising. When you start doing the first three (sleep, good diet and water) you'll feel more like doing this last one.
3. Common Sense (Mental)
Purify the imagination - Dwell only upon pure and elevated subjects. This will be hard but just humbly pray and Jesus will give you strength to overcome the most powerful temptations.
WORK. Do hard work. Real work. Outside work. Go work on a farm if you can (seriously!) One of the biggest reasons people get snared in this habit is because they are too idle and their parents never required them to do much. Idle hands are the Devil's workshop.
Get rid of pornography - In your journey of overcoming masturbation, this is non-negotiable. Burn your magazines, wipe your hard drive and get some computer software that effectively blocks adult content.
Get rid of sex toys.
Take cold showers or set a timer and get out when it goes off.
Stop being idle - instead of wasting time on Facebook, Instragram or You-tube get off your computer or iphone and be productive. Start cleaning, cooking, doing your homework, play an instrument, take a walk, go for a bike ride, paint, draw, play a sport, read a book, memorize scripture, plant a garden, plan a trip, or do some act of service for someone. Figure out your aim in life and get busy reaching some goals! Aimlessness is your enemy!
Stop being alone so much. Plan time with your family and friends.
Don't just sit in your room, and if you do, keep your door open. Sit in the living room, go to the library or a coffee shop. If you have too much free time, get an extra job.
Take one day at a time. Set small goals. Start with one day. Then three days. Then a week. If you relapse, don't get discouraged, persevere.
Ask for help. "The power of sin is in secrecy." This is why the Bible speaks so highly of "walking in the light" (1 John 1:7). You need support and encouragement.
Guard your ears and eyes. Stop listening to music about sex and romance. Stop playing video games with provocative characters (even if they are cartoonish). Stop watching movies that promote immorality. If you have friends who encourage sexually related conversation or listen to suggestive music, you must stop being around them. Find new friends.
Pray. Claim a promise in your prayer, "Lord help me to walk in the Spirit so that I don't fulfill the lusts of the flesh." Then pray for someone else. Intercede for their salvation. Get your mind off yourself and look to Jesus who is mighty to save.
Taka
Member
jon86. Well this is my third try to stop. And I simply do not do it. Whenever I feel the urge I start doing something else. Either walk away from the computer or listen to music, excercise. Showering twice a day now. I already know the consequences of relapsing and my mind is better than that. So basically I recall that state of relapse and how it was not any good for me and that discourages me. I am also trying to be in company of other people whenever possible. It is all the techniques I have read about elsewhere combined. If I recall anything special I do I will let you know.