Enough

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ssoac

Guest
Thanks guys

I've noticed i'm being excessively harsh in arguments, be it with my wife, kid or colleagues.
Day 23, moving toward a more mindful state.
 
LTE

LTE

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
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ssoac said:
Thanks guys

I've noticed i'm being excessively harsh in arguments, be it with my wife, kid or colleagues.
Day 23, moving toward a more mindful state.
Click to expand...
The first month or so was pretty ragged. It got better after that.
 
S

savingmysoul

Active Member
yes, it does get better.

In looking back i was pretty nasty at times to my wife, my kids, because i dropped something, someone driving too slow.

That has pretty much changed for the better these days.
 
S

ssoac

Guest
Thanx guys.
I do hope it'll get better after a month but.. who knows, its a monkey business.

Today the sea is smooth. Ran a couple of miles in the morning, no desires for porn, or coffee, or arguments..
Calm.
Can almost get addicted to this :)
But weather never stays the same, so... we'll see tomorrow.
 
S

ssoac

Guest
Wanttobebetter said:
Hey ssoac, find me a site like this that will convince me to run a couple miles and I be forever in your debt! Stay well.
Click to expand...

Hi Wanttobebetter
I doubt a site will convince you if you don't want it yourself :)
I started running last summer, as I felt drained after work, but I really wanted to have the energy to play with my kid.
(Now, in retrospective it wasn't probably the job that drained me..)

It of course, is a slow and painful process :)
I started with the 8 week running program for beginners, and boy did I struggle with week one - its 3 repetitions of 6 minutes walking, 1 minute running.
Now, about a year later I run for around 30 full minutes every other day. Skipped a couple of the winter months as it was very icy outside, but got back into shape relatively quickly.

Yesterday I actually increased my usual distance and now my legs hurt.. a lot.
But I'll get one extra rest day and will be back to it the day after tomorrow.
The pain is totally worth it. I also intend to include some other for of exercise with the running, nothing fancy, some push-ups maybe, something that can be done outside or at home, I've kind of always disliked gyms.

The program that I followed is here.
http://running.about.com/od/getstartedwithrunning/ht/getstarted.htm

All the best.
 
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ssoac

Guest
Huge fight with my wife yesterday... over petty stuff.
Had 2 other unrelated incidents before that which irritated me hugely..

It felt really righteous.. and I was actually right on that particular occasion.
But it also felt very wrong, even though I apologized at the end.
No one is responsible and should suffer from my mood swings, especially my wife.
Sorry hon, I love you.

Come on, monkey boys... 2... this is a really low threshold. Chill out, eh?
 
S

ssoac

Guest
30 days

its been tough, and its been rough.
feels worth it.
sailing on
 
Tclay

Tclay

Active Member
Keep the faith ssoac.  It's going to get better.  I think in a couple weeks you will reach an even keel, as they say, and dialog with wife and family will be more reasonable. 

I still got tangled in a stupid argument last night.  This morning I explained to her that for me, giving up M means replacing it with intimacy with her (at all levels).  The downside is that I'm get "teste" .  We both got a chuckle out of that.

Can you be strict and demanding on yourself but not on others?  It's not easy for me either.
 
S

ssoac

Guest
Thanx guys, appreciate it.

Last few day have been interesting.. I've been getting some morning erections, which made me a bit happy, as I took it for a sign that the ED thing is not irreversible.
Monkey boys noticed it too, of course, and started getting a bit horny.
Now.. I've never cheated in a relationship in my life (except for PMO).
But a monkey voice is gaining strength..convincing the others that perhaps going to a massage parlor or even paying some hourly rate for "love" will not be cheating.. just pressure relieving.
This time I'm pretty sure where this comes from.. it's too elaborate for the lizard brain, so it must be my highly developed, intelligent neo-cortex brain.
This dear friend to me, seems to have accepted the idea that the stream of porn has dried up. It also seems he's not giving up, just reorienting towards a different "supply".

The next few days will be interesting too... this weekend I'm gonna be alone for the first time since I started a month ago, as I really need to take care of some work that got hopelessly delayed by porn binging in the past.

I hope I'll stay conscious.
 
LTE

LTE

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Admin
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ssoac said:
Thanx guys, appreciate it.

Last few day have been interesting.. I've been getting some morning erections, which made me a bit happy, as I took it for a sign that the ED thing is not irreversible.
Monkey boys noticed it too, of course, and started getting a bit horny.
Now.. I've never cheated in a relationship in my life (except for PMO).
But a monkey voice is gaining strength..convincing the others that perhaps going to a massage parlor or even paying some hourly rate for "love" will not be cheating.. just pressure relieving.
This time I'm pretty sure where this comes from.. it's too elaborate for the lizard brain, so it must be my highly developed, intelligent neo-cortex brain.
This dear friend to me, seems to have accepted the idea that the stream of porn has dried up. It also seems he's not giving up, just reorienting towards a different "supply".

The next few days will be interesting too... this weekend I'm gonna be alone for the first time since I started a month ago, as I really need to take care of some work that got hopelessly delayed by porn binging in the past.

I hope I'll stay conscious.
Click to expand...
Don't plan on your time alone being a challenge. It might go smoothly. Likewise, stay away from sex for money. It won't bring any lasting satisfaction. .
 
Tclay

Tclay

Active Member
Ssoac,
Money for "love"  is a misnomer .  You will still long for something else and you will have a brand new burden to carry.  Those people just want your money and there is not an iota of intimacy.  Long-term it will set you back and present you with another obstacle to overcome.
 
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savingmysoul

Active Member
Hey Ssoac,

I would agree, satisfaction will come from doing what is right, and really what I think most of us are looking for cannot be found in those places.

Make sure you plan your weekend - fill that time with positive activities.  Leave the house if you feel the need.  I actually had my first night home alone earlier this week.  Family was away, and i had only a couple of hours by myself.  I did some work out in the yard.  I feel that since i had a plan (and i shared my plan with my wife) there were no urges/triggers/thoughts of just one peek.  At the end, yes its only yard work, but it was for the house, for the family and not a selfish act.  I was really able to take away the positive from that. 

Stay strong,

SMS
 
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ssoac

Guest
Thank you guys, for the feedback and support!

I don't intend to start cheating on my wife, and I've in fact started courting her again.
But I spent years pushing her away, so I don't expect it to be quick.

But damn.. when they come.. those desires are potent.
I'm trying to learn how to deal with them.. but this might also be a long process.

anyway.. moving forward
 
LTE

LTE

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Moderator
ssoac said:
Thank you guys, for the feedback and support!

I don't intend to start cheating on my wife, and I've in fact started courting her again.
But I spent years pushing her away, so I don't expect it to be quick.

But damn.. when they come.. those desires are potent.
I'm trying to learn how to deal with them.. but this might also be a long process.

anyway.. moving forward
Click to expand...
Don't think about the desires, desires will happen from time to time. Concentrate, instead, on the degree of control you hold over yourself. Once you realize that you truly are always in control the desires are lee likely to be troubling.
 
Tclay

Tclay

Active Member
Understand the part about dealing with the wife on a new level.  Ive totally confused my wife but she is getting used to the way we are interacting now.  Pretty sure there is a element of trust she needs to put in me.  Pretty sure the question in her mind is "will he neglect me again".

She's not carrying the blame for the dry patch we went through, I am.  But I'm putting a lot of energy into changing the dry patch and I think she is truly starting to trust me again.... There is a lot at stake here.
 
S

ssoac

Guest
Im back from a company party, moderately drunk, alone, and ready for all that astonishing stuff I was ready to do.

I hate you people.

...

On a second thought.. of course i don't.
damn ... last night was the nearest near miss I had.

thank you all.




 
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