"I can control the Zero. F*ck the Zero"

[jnv]

Day 18:

Thanks for the support fellow NoFapper!
Quite the same day as yesterday. Maybe it's what we call the flatline because I have No urge at ALL and I do not deliberately think about sex. Energy level is really high and I feel good, but motivation wasn't there to make good use of all that burst of energy. So instead of doing all the things I planned to do during the free time, I surf the net to get more educated on the NoFap effect and read about testimonies.

 

[jnv]

Day 20:

Well, I've got to say I'm quite confused about how I feel at the moment. I did not feel any urge at all nor did I even think about sex during the last 2 days. The reason why I'm surprised is because well, I wouldn't even just define myself as a simple ex heavy porn user. At some point in my life, some days only conbsisted of PMO because if I was sad I'd PMO, if I was itred I'd PMO, if I was happy I'd PMO, if I was frustrated I'd PMO ...well you see the picture, I'd have PMOd for whatever reason and I call even recall during the most extreme days to have PMOd more than 10 times (yes I know..) till the point it'd hurt down there but I didn't care. And now, 3-4 days can pass without me voluntarily thinking about sex (I did get aroused for like 1min max  today watching Scarlet Johansson in Match Point but that's it) at all and I feel as if and went from an extreme to the exact opposite. ( and I do really consider myself having been at the extreme of porn use at some point without realizing it)

That's maybe the so called flatline I've read about. It is most of the time depicted as smth bad but.... I instead live it REALLY well because it's like the first time ever I've had my mind so free from P (it's probably the first time in like 16 years?)  and I can spend time in other things so....the flatline is kind of cool isn't it? If so, I don't know how long it is supposed to last but it seems to me like easy  bonus/free days to add in the process of rebooting. What's your experience with it?

Other than that, I've also completed my second week consisting of sport every single day (90min of either treadmill or weight lifting) and I feel really good about it, I hope I'll keep doing it.
I also went to the pub yesterday and even thought it was really nigligible, I did feel a small enhancement with my social anxiety. I engaged more easily a conversation with people I'd just met which, I wouldn't have done before stopping PMO.

All in all, so far so good!

 

[jnv]

Day 24

Today was one of the few days during which I've seen some changes. Even though I've had a huge session (90min) of weight lifting followed bya cold shower, I've had some difficulties sleeping well. I felt full of energy and horney as hell with MW (well it's more like nocturnal woods) which woke me up several times during the night. (but no wet dream). This morning I feel like usual though without any urge whatsoever.

 

[jnv]

Day 28:

The last days were quite difficult. I still stick to my new routines (workout + socialize more, etc..)and my motivation level goes increasingly so that's great but damn I'm horny as hell. for the last two days, I've been waking up several times during the night because of really hard boners. I do not dream about sex (or I don't remember about it) but I just get boners for no particular reasons. Same goes during the day, I'm doing something I'd call "neutral" (without any trigger like reading a book in the garden) and would get a boner. Yesterday an ad on the net triggered smth and I peeked at erotic pics for like 2min but stopped before going too far. Let's hope things will calm down!

 

[jnv]

Day 30:

Ok, so I completed my 30 days without PMO yesterday. Next step is now the 60 days challenge.
Here are some of my observations:

- better motivation: I don't know if I can ascribe that to a real boost of energy or simply because I've got much more free time giving up both PMO and videogaming at the same time but I stick much better to sport and study routines.
- better energy level in general. Especially during my workout.
- in social situations: I don't see much of a change in that field yet. I don't feel exceptionally more talkative or more at ease in these situations but I do give my opinion more freely without asking to myself if that's ok if I say this and that. Before NoFap, I used to everything was okay all the time with my friends but now I tend to really say aloud what I think on different topics which is quite an improvement IMO.
- Better memory: I'm learning different languages at the same time (English included) and I've seen a huge improvement in my withholding information in general. When I learn some words/phrases in a book, I need less memorisation attempts to remember it 4-5 days later.
- I'm not ashamed any longer: I'm an atheist so I'm not talking about being ashmed towars god or anything, I'm just more proud of myself for what I'm doing. The door of my room is most of the time open, I'm not affraid of letting any of my computer available for anybody to use it, that's a really heavy weight off my shoulders.

What I want to improve for the next 30 days:

During the last 10 days, I've had some quite huge urges to watch porn which were triggered after stumbling uppon random images on internet. Even though I didn't give in and O, I still peeked at some soft naked women pics (lasted like 2min in general) and started to touch myself for the same amount of time. It did happen 4 times during this challenge and I want to improve that.

To sum it up. I'm quite satisfied with the first 30 days. I stopped porn cold turkey 30 days ago and what a change it was. I was used to watching porn EVERY day for some hours (for more than 10 years and from one day to the next, I completely stopped it.)

I'm ready for the harder days!

 

[fnatk]

Stopping cold turkey isn't easy but you seem to be doing really well! I'm looking forward to hitting 30 days free of this crap, reading your progress has only motivated me more to do so, thanks for sharing

 

[jnv]

Hey there.
I started this day so well keeping myself busing and it worked pretty well until tonight. Damn, I wanted to read and it was impossible to focus more than 5min straight, got urge after urge after urge... the only way I found was to put a brand new movie in front of my elliptical bike (300 Rise of an Empire, it helped with my pacing) and runnnnnnn during 1h50! I'm now exhausted and no more urge haha, I can now say fock you urge and it feels great lol! Going to bed now

Keep up the good work and stay motivated fnatk, you can do it.

 

[stangles]

You se to be doing really well good stuff!

I think I might need to do more exercise to get rid of my urges too.

Your story is very similar to mine so it gives me some hope. I never got anywhere with girls for a long time despite not being bad looking. I also got in to the pick up scene a bit to help me. This helped me get my first girls when I also failed to get it up for them.

I know a lot of guys that are just not good with girls. I sometimes wonder if it is all because of porn or if it is a change in society.

 

[jnv]

I do think it is at least 80% due to porn. I can remember when I was in high school, I never got rejected from a girl simply because I NEVER ask one out during that time. Porn had such an influence in my behaviour towards girls that I was thinking something like "Why should I bother myself with all that seduction/flirt thing when I can binge to the most beautiful girls in the world?" and it lead me to the point where I just lost interest at all. And it would lower my self esteem SO MUCH that even when I felt/knew an attractive girl was attracted to me, I would do nothing about it and ignore her and some friends thought I was crazy. (and I really thought I was, believe me)

So Day 31:
Today was pretty easy because I think that the fact I was exhausted from yesterday long elliptic session kept me away from any urge. I'm starting to think that it might be a very conceivable option to help me deal with urges. At the moment, everytime (during my free time) I get and urge or I want to play video games, I go and do some physical activity and I'm good afterwards.

 

[presson]

Thirty days is impressive. Well done man! Keep it up!

 

[jnv]

Day 32
Thanks for support dude!

Damn, this week has been one of the most difficult since I started. Got some HUGE urges again today (it most of the time starts with triggers from tv, ads) and  the only way for me to calm down and overcome them was go and do some sport.

 

[fnatk]

Good job on overcoming the urges! Its hard as hell but once you're sort of free of them you think "Well that was silly, I don't NEED porn!". What kind of sport did you go do? Weather here has been a bit off so I didn't go out biking yet on my new bike but a friend came over for some help with her laptop so I had that to occupy my day with, otherwise I probably would've spent it alone at my computer.

Still, good to see you fighting the good fight, every day your counter goes up gives me motivation to see mine do the same!

 

[jnv]

Yes, it is very hard and it shows how much the long years of PMO  have f*cked my brain up because my urges aren't about M but about P. The urges are sometimes so strong that I'll need many more days to completely rewire it. But I do agree with you, it's really motivating seeing the progress bar advancing
As far as sport is concerned, it's a mix of elliptic bike, weight-lifting and bike outside depending on the day and on my mood.

 

[jnv]

Day 35:
Urge-wise, the last 3 days have been quite easy, I spent friday evening biking with a friend of mine for about 4h30 just enjoying sun while working on cardio. My legs have never been so exhausted and I think it's the reason why I'm not horny at all and it is easy controlling my light urges.

I noticed something strange during my sleep last night, I dreamt of me having sex with a random woman and that is something that hadn't occur for YEARS. It wasn't a porn related sex scene or whatever, just me having vanila sex with her. What is more surprising is that I could actually feel the sensations down there during the vaginal penetration which is something I have never been able to experience during real intercourses due to huge desensitisation. No wet dream though because I woke up quickly after it began.

 

[Never_again]

Congratulation on your 30 days challenge accomplishment!
It's very inspirational to read story like yours. I tried rebooting many times and never went above 10 days without PMO
What do you do to prevent yourself from PM when you feel urges? Do you have any tips to share?

And please, keep updating your journal, because even though you don't always get lots of answers from others members, it definitely helps to motivate people like me not to relapse.

Thanks and good luck for your 60 day challenge

 

[jnv]

Hey there Never_again. Thanks for support.
Concerning my advice, I'd say that updating my journal helps me a lot keep on track. I make it mainly to keep the information I write down so I can return to it in the future just like a log which will help me when I face very hard days in the process (and I know there will be very hard days to come). In my opinion, you should try to update your own journal even for days when you have nothing particular to say, at least it puts you in a kind of routine which will help you keep on track.

As to fighting the urges, when I'm not at home, like many of us I don't have many urges. But when I'm at home during free times it's another story. (and I started a NoGaming challenge as well, day 22 today, so I need to fill that time properly as well). I first started doing things which helped keep my mind busy like reading, watching movies/series but it wasn't enough to keep urges at bay. I came to the conclusion that the only thing working for me was a physical activity.
At the moment, what I do are push-ups or crunches. I would do I serie of the maximum repetitions I can do. By maximum I mean that your last push-up repetition is when your face is on the floor and no matter how hard you want to push it one more time, your arms say "no". After that, I'm so exhausted that urges are usually gone. As you can see throughout my journal, sometimes during month 1, I still peeked a little at P even though I quickly stopped, so my strategy isn't perfect but I'm still trying to find out what works best and how to improve in that field.
Try to find out what works best with you.

edit: an other thing that indirectly helps me as well I guess is read other NoFappers' journals and take part in it, encouraging, giving advice, learning from others etc, I thing it's beneficial to everybody.

 

[jnv]

I had quite a horrible yet VERY interesting experience on Sunday night. Came back home from a party with friends, drank a bit but wasn't drunk at all (I was just in the mood). I don't remember what it was but came across some trigger and before I knew it I was peeking at P. When I realised what I was doing, 1 minute had maybe passed but I didn't even M (let alone O obviously). I then closed everything but I had a strange feeling, I could litterally "feel" in my brain the dopamine rush. Well I don't know if it was that but I can clearly say that I was "physically" feeling something great in my head. The sensation reminded me the times when let's say, you are playing football or tennis or whatever for a long time under a very hot sun and then you take a break and get an extra cold beer, coke etc. I do feel extreme pleasure at that moment, and I was feeling something less powerful but similar in term of sensation.

I have already read about the consequences of P on the brain and how it affects it on YBOP but for the first time I could actually experience it myself and it has definitely convinced myself than even peeking at it for like 2-3 mins only once every 2-3 weeks isn't even conceivable if even 1min of just a visual stimulus without M can have that effect on my body. That 1 minute of P broke the urge I had on the spot, and I'm talking about the urge after over 1 month of no O... I can now truly understand by myself how devastating P really is on the brain. My urges mostly come from my brain "willing" to see some visual stimuli rather than from a need from down there.

With that new experience, I think I'm going to enter a new phase in my reboot process.

-Phase 1 was from day 1 until last Sunday where I didn't MO but still peeked at P maybe 5-6 times in total (didn't reset because I knew that peeking P from time to time in the very beginning of the process was inevitable in my case since I was used to PMO 2-3 times/day, I first just wanted to reduce it drastically without O)

-Phase 2 started yesterday. I will try it 100% hardcore, MonkMode or whatever you call it from now on until I get laid (which isn't my primary goal at the moment, I just see it as part of my personal development challenge)

I think I'll need to educate myself about meditation etc because it will be hard and it could come in handy when difficult times occur. :/

 

[newguyneedschange]

I don't know how I haven't seen your forum before, but man your starting story is so easy to relate to. One of my biggest frustrations has been the loss of sensation when having sex. I thought maybe I had something wrong with me besides the PMO. Knowing that will come back really gives me some motivation that I was lacking. Thanks for sharing.

 

[jnv]

I really think that for most of guys our ages, the problem related to desensitisation is 50% in the head and 50% physical (and reversible) and I'm practically sure that quiting PMO can solve all of this as well as many other things. Getting our hands off our d*cks should add sensation over the time and staying away from Porn stimuli should bring back sensation for more normal and softer stuff. => more sensation overall.

Well, I won't know if it's really true until after I've finished my 90 days challenge and get laid but thanks to my new free time I read a lot of stuff related to how brain functions and I'm sure we can achieve great things by following simple (yet difficult to stick to) rules.

 

[Anders]

It makes sense. The exact same food tastes better when you are really hungry compared with when you are not - same food, same tastebuds, same chemicals, same brain.