Brain Fog - NO MORE!!!

[Rikkoman]

Jaystock, stay strong.

I don't know what thought of wisdom to throw your way, but I know you're hurting. I wish I had something cool and inspirational for you. The best I can say is this, your journal is a living memoir. Look at your past postings when you first started. Listen to your voice, the cool advice you've given others. We learn best about ourselves when we teach.

I went ahead and reread all the stuff on reboot and on ybop, and rekindled that spark. I see it as a crutch for now. It's helped a bit. Enough for me to keep moving forward.

Tonight get some sleep. You have a great life. Your are loved by your family, you are lucky.

Hang in there.....

 

[regguyinpa]

Hi Jay,


Stay the course. Keep reading why you quit and what you hope to achieve. Even if we slip up, we get right back on the horse. This is the path we should be on. It just sucks cause its hard. One of the success stories I read made a comment. It said learn to enjoy the withdrawl symptoms. I agree wholeheartedly. It means your making progress.

 

[Rikkoman]

OOOHHHKAAY.... :-\

So I figured I should do my part and venture out to the forum and read other journals. There is some real scary stuff out there. Hardcore. I don't think I'm quite ready to be reading the sh*t other people are going through just yet. Mainly because I feel like I need to contribute, but don't know how.

I don't want to sound selfish, but I got problems of my own right now. Although some of the stuff out in the forums is very good and encouraging, other material is just way too much for me right now.

So, when I "mature" through my reboot I will venture out in the forum and contribute to other journals. In the mean time I'll just stick within the confines of my journal.

peace and love.....

 

[Rikkoman]

Better day today.

I have been doing a lot more reading. I'm currently in a book club, and have two novels to catch up on. Getting ready for a business trip next week. And two more days for Week 2!

- later

 

[Rikkoman]

2 weeks.

Hello, week 3.

 

[jstock]

Your doing  good rikko, I found , as long as you keep yourself busy, it makes things, at least for me, a lot easier. It's fun reading  your journal.  Keep your head up brother, it's worth it

 

[Rikkoman]

Getting ready for my week long business trip. I'm actually excited about this!

I had this real cool long journal entry I did last night, but I don't know what key I hit, but I lost the entire entry. I was too tired to rewrite it. So that's why it was kept brief.

I believe to help myself, that I need to write in my journal on a daily basis. Besides, I love looking at my counter, that gives me hope. What I do need to concentrate on is following my rules that I made last week. P Subs, are my RED FLAGS. So I just need to beef up my discipline. Feeling a lot better. I hope I'm done with any serious withdrawal symptoms but if I do experience them at least I'll deal with them knowing that is expected, and temporary.

I don't think I'm completely BRAIN FOG FREE, maybe I'll never will be. But that is my desire now. Clear Crisp and original thoughts. My lexicon has taken a beating, but I know it's buried in the mush somewhere. With time I should be able to regain full use of my critical thinking part of my brain.

Well, I will be using my Smartphone to post on here this week. I dare not log on my work lap top to rebootnation.com. This is something I definitely do not want my place of employment knowing about my addiction. Anyway I  have a Novel that I'm determined to finish reading this week while I'm at the hotel.

Stay strong everyone.....

 

[Rikkoman]

Moving along and staying busy. I really don't like using my Smartphone to check my journal. It's impossible for me to write a long entry with a digital keyboard.

Still the rest of the day ahead of me.

 

[Rikkoman]

This trip is going well so far. Had dinner with coworkers and networked with others. Have plans to join coworkers this evening as well. Practicing my socializing skills.

 

[regguyinpa]

HI Rikko,

    Your crushing it. keep it up. Keep going out and meeting people and interacting. It works wonders. Isolation is the enemy. Remember it is a lifestyle change. I noticed how many hours I had to fill. How much I got done since I am not whacking or edging to a computer lol. I have less brain fog for sure. It is a huge difference in my confidence. Just keep at it. Stay the course.

Keep posting

 

[Rikkoman]

Heading back home tomorrow. Had another great night with coworkers.  Can't wait to get home...

 

[Rikkoman]

;D

Hello 3 weeks!!!

Well I finally recuperated from jet lag, and getting back to my time zone. Things are looking pretty good. Brain Fog, is slightly decreased I may say. Not 100% yet. However, I'm able to concentrate better now. I also noticed that the constant flashing PORN images in my mind have significantly reduced. I even caught myself this past week during a boring conference trying to daydream about a favorite PORN scene, but would get distracted with other thoughts. Who would of thought the content of the conference would actually interest me.  So the chain is loosening up, hopefully I'll be able to yank it off for good this time.

Onto week 4.....

 

[bob]

Hey Rikkoman,

You are doing great! Keep it up I am watching your progress and my thoughts are with you as you work through this.

 

[regguyinpa]

Hi Rikkomen,


Keep it up. If your mind starts racing thinking about images just try to remind yourself to be present in what your doing. A lot of us have used this as an escape for a long time. Keep it up! It gets easier and easier. You just need to unwind the pathways which your doing.

 

[Rikkoman]

Crappy ass Monday!

I have been so irritable all day. I feel like I'm on edge. Nothing has been going my way today. Just want to scream and break something. Don't know what is going on. Nothing has changed. At first I thought I was drinking too much caffeine but, I haven't really increased that. So, something is really getting me all tensed up inside. Breaking something right now would make me feel real good. Don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood. It rarely happens. But shit, today I was really moody. If you can't already tell. I just finished my workout. I'm going to bed early. Maybe it's the lack of sleep.

.....peace

 

[jstock]

Join the club rikko. I can just be sitting  down, and I just get tense, and shaky, almost like it's a panic attack. I know  it's from  the no porn, or m.o. I thought  I was becoming  a diabetic, but it's just my brain, wanting  me to go home, by myself, and have a fun day of surfing, and whacking.  I know that would just delight me. We will get past this. If it makes you feel any better, I bet all of us in here are going through  the exact  same crap as you are. Don't quit. We are already in pain, we are already  suffering, WE MIGHT AS WELL GET SOMETHING FOR IT

 

[bob]

If it makes you feel any better, I bet all of us in here are going through  the exact  same crap as you are. Don't quit. We are already in pain, we are already  suffering, WE MIGHT AS WELL GET SOMETHING FOR IT

Jaystock,

Your quote is right on. Seems strange to make a decision to go through this process when the alternative would automatically make us feel better; at least for a few seconds....

But that's the brain talking, trying to take over the body. Not going to happen with comments from you guys. Truly, your support is appreciated.

Hang tough Jaystock, and Rikkoman. Your not alone.

 

[regguyinpa]

HI Rikko,


I had an issue with coffee. It wired me up and make me more impulsive esp when it came to this. Here is my advice lower your level of it or try espresso or a cap. something like that. That caffeine enters your system differently. I know exactly what your talking about though. I would drink the same amount of coffee but now I would be so angry and moody etc. So try the switch or cut back. I think it is because your brain is changing that is becomes more sensitive to it. I do not know. I only know that I went through the same thing.

 

[Rikkoman]

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm not sure what keys or key I just hit, but it erased everything I wrote. That is the second time this has happened to me.

Anyway. I guess, I might have had a panic attack yesterday. Odd, because it came out of nowhere. I was fine one minute and the next, I was really effen pissed off. I remember yesterday morning, my hand was shaking when I brought the water bottle up to my mouth. I didn't think anything of it. Then I went home for lunch, and BAM! Like I said from one minute to the next. I did not recognize myself.

It's not the caffeine. In fact I have reduced my caffeine intake by half from a health kick I started in the beginning of the year. Maybe it's just fatigue. Emotionally and physically. I had slept 10hrs straight last night. Sleep is very important. And that I have not been paying too much attention to. I do believe my brain is getting rewired and probably freaking itself out. So I'm going to try to help it out a bit and make a commitment to sleep 8hrs a night.

It's hard to talk to anyone about this PORN addiction. Doctors, Psychologists, Therapists need to get on the ball and recognize this issue, before it gets too late for some.

Hang in there to everyone fighting this MONSTER, we will prevail.......

 

[Kurall_Creator]

Crappy ass Monday!

I have been so irritable all day. I feel like I'm on edge. Nothing has been going my way today. Just want to scream and break something. Don't know what is going on. Nothing has changed. At first I thought I was drinking too much caffeine but, I haven't really increased that. So, something is really getting me all tensed up inside. Breaking something right now would make me feel real good. Don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood. It rarely happens. But shit, today I was really moody. If you can't already tell. I just finished my workout. I'm going to bed early. Maybe it's the lack of sleep.

.....peace

I experienced this a lot too. I was medicating my life with porn for so long, I started to remember and become very angry at people who hurt me in my past.

I think the same anger is coming out, because you may have things buried deep inside, grievences you have yet to acknowledge and then forgive.

As time goes by, the anger comes up less and less and forgiveness comes easier and easier.