Day 28
4 weeks rebooting, guys. I've made it and I am still very motivated and positive, I will be able to overcome PMO that's what I know now. This second
reboot is so much different to the first one - maybe I just had to figure myself out or whatever, it feels like I know exactly what I want and the feeling still unbroken. There were a few days last week where I suffered, I was nervous, felt angry, bad, uncomfortable. Then it got better on Friday, positive energy was back. I am aware that this cycle will start all over again but I now know that it's SO worth to fight for it, guys! It's true, you have to withstand the flatline however often it may come, it's worth to get to the "end of the rainbow".
I told you that I was talking to my ex girlfriend about my issue in the past, she is the only person who knows about all this. Yesterday we talked about all this, about sex and about other stuff. We talked a lot and I said to her, that I didn't know how far I had rebooted my brain - I wanted to test, if PIED was still an issue after 1 month of hard mode no PMO. Well long story short, I got a blowjob from her, resulting in an orgasm. I was rock hard all the time for like half an hour or maybe a bit less, so no signs of PIED... I was very happy and I felt released, even though it took her quite some work to make me cum, but I guess that's not a wonder after years of tight fast fapping. So there is still a lot to do for me on my way to get sexually normal, but I am very confident that it's gonna turn out very well. So, we are still friends, friends with benefits if you want to. Like I said she's the only one who knows I have this problem, so I don't wanna lose her as a friend now.
I guess hard mode is over now, but I changed hard mode into a even better thing: being able to O with a real person.
Greets and much power for you all,
Bernie