Let's get back to a healthy sex life!

[mindfulmike]

Yes, good point

At this point, I know my triggers well enough that I don't even allow myself to do anything that's compelling enough to destroy me. But if someone wants balance in their life, in this crazy technological world, then yeah, it might be necessary to have some sort of complicated system to achieve that. Either that or supernatural levels of self-discipline

 

[BailHope]

Day 37: Today, I MO'ed, which was not planned. I woke up about an hour before my alarm clock and man, I was horny. I can remember that I had a really vivid dream about a girl I know in real life. When I woke up, I already had a full erection and I just couldn't help myself. In just a few strokes, I had worked myself to an orgasm.
Strange, the orgasm wasn't intense at all. I didn't feel on a "high" afterwards either. But I digress. It shouldn't have happened.

I've added a new counter to my profile, so I can count my masturbational habits as well, seeing as the first one I only use to count the number of days without watching any porn. I had gotten up to 18 days without any form of masturbation or orgasm. I need to beat that time. My next goal is to make it to 30 days without any form of masturbation or orgasm.

Strange though. If you would have told me a month ago that I would go for 18 days without masturbating, I would have called you a crazy git! I was pretty amazed I had gotten that far. Too bad that I can start over now. I'm pretty mad at myself for allowing it and not having the willpower to stop.

In the meantime, my reboot continues.

 

[BailHope]

Day 38: Today, I noticed once more that I had trouble getting out of bed.
Yesterday, I started taking Magnesium and Vitamin D3 after reading some good reviews about it on forums. It can't hurt, so why not, right?

That means I'm now taking:
[list type=decimal]
[*]Acetyl L-Carnitine, for the androgen receptors
[*]Vitamin D3, as an aromatase blocker
[*]Maca root, as a superfood
[*]Magnesium 3
[/list]

Also, this is my first full day (again) of no PMO. My goal is still to make it to at least 30 days. My previous record is 18 days.

 

[mike510]

Good shit bro...keep it up..porn is not an option anymore. I kinda went through the same situation as you with your ex girlfriend so don't feel bad..if a girl is there for the good an not the the bad then that's a person u don't want around... stay strong bro..we all have 2 have a successful reboot

 

[CrowMagnum]

BailHope,

Mornings are difficult for us as our T-levels build up over night as we sleep and as a result we wake up feeling particularly horny at times.  Because of this a prudent habit to establish is to take a quick cold shower immediately upon waking up, no excuses, no lingering in bed, just getting up and getting in the shower.  At first it is difficult but with time it becomes almost something to look forward to.  Do what you will with this info, I hope it helps in some way. 

Best,
Crow-Magnon

 

[BailHope]

Mornings are difficult for us as our T-levels build up over night as we sleep and as a result we wake up feeling particularly horny at times.  Because of this a prudent habit to establish is to take a quick cold shower immediately upon waking up, no excuses, no lingering in bed, just getting up and getting in the shower.  At first it is difficult but with time it becomes almost something to look forward to.  Do what you will with this info, I hope it helps in some way. 

Thanks for the tip. I'll see what I can do what that information. Trying it out tomorrow for starters!

 

[BailHope]

Day 39: Today I didn't end up taking a cold shower, because I overslept. Apparently I had forgotten to set my alarm clock. This allowed me to sleep until I woke up naturally. Today, I feel great, rested. Energetic.

I had a terrific workout yesterday. Seeing as the last few times, I did not experience any sore muscles the day after the workout, I decided to up my game and increase the weights I've been using. The workout was very tiring, much more than usual, but it felt great. After the workout both my arms and legs were really tired.
Today I again, woke up, without any sore muscles. I can feel I did a workout though, because my arms are still a bit heavy, as if they haven't fully recovered yet, but no soreness or muscle aches.
I gotta admit, I used to have sore muscles for three days after any workout and even cycling to and from work every day was very tiring. Now it seems my body can take more.

I think this is the effect of the Acetyl L-Carnitine I've been taking. It's supposed to clear up and heal your androgen receptors in your body. Those are located in your brain and also in your muscles. I've started taking them after I read that binging or masturbating to satiation can block or damage those receptors in your brain. Never thought they'd have an effect on my muscles as well, but there you have it 

 

[terranmarine]

wow, you gave me hope it.could be done! thanks 

 

[BailHope]

Today, I finally started on Day 40 of no porn and no PMO. It's exhilarating to see how far I've come.

It's also quite frightening to see that I'm starting to fall back into old habits. And it's happening ever so slightly that it creeped up on me without me realizing it.
Each morning, I get out of my bed to turn off my alarm clock. But I can't seem to stop myself from getting back into bed. Quite annoying. I need to build up more discipline in this area. I only M when I get back into bed, so I really need to stop doing that.
Also, I've spent the last two weeks away from the television and away from the internet as much as I can. And yet, the last few nights I have sat down again in front of the television to watch a series I've been following instead of doing something else, like getting a good night's sleep.
I feel this is not contributing and is leading me back to my old habits.

Anyway, during the last 40 days, I only O'ed twice. For my usual habits (at least once a day) that's actually pretty good and I'm proud of myself for accomplishing this. Also, during these days, I haven't had a single urge to look at porn. It is no longer a part of my life.

Also, I installed an Android app called "Calm" which offers meditation exercises to calm the mind. I've been doing these exercises five minutes at a time, for the last two days now. Every time, I do feel a lot more calm after the meditation, which is nice.

wow, you gave me hope it.could be done! thanks 

Thanks. You can definitely do it. You can accomplish anything you want to if you just have the right mindset!

 

[mindfulmike]

Agreed, that's a massive reduction. On the last forum I was on, some people found the spreadsheet approach more helpful than the counter approach. It seems that they were more focused on building healthy habits compared to perfect habits because realistically it is probably not a big deal to let loose a couple times in 40 days but you only realize this if you look at the larger context that a spreadsheet provides. But you seem to realize that already, unlike many others who enter the downward spiral after any sort of misstep. You're staying strong despite that, and that's probably one of the best habits you can have in conquering this

As for waking up and staying up, I used to use a system similar to yours back in college. There were two alarms: one near my bed and one on the first floor, and there was a short lag between the alarms so I had just enough time to get out of bed and get to the first floor before that alarm went off and disturbed other people

This worked very well on weekdays when I had class, not so much on weekends that lacked a clear purpose. On weekends I would go back to bed after turning off both alarms

These days I just use one alarm but I only get out of bed when I'm ready. Sometimes the alarm sounds for 10 minutes or more. That's ok. I let it do it's thing. Because when I am out of bed, I am out of bed. I don't allow myself to get back in bed once I am out. This system has been extremely effective. Perfect, in fact. But it might require a pleasant/gentle-waking alarm - I use a Philips Wake-up Light which has nature sounds that ramp up in intensity over time

 

[BailHope]

Day 41: I started off the day with getting out of bed when I was actually awake. No alarm clocks, just sleeping until I woke up naturally. I had an uneasy night. I must have been dreaming about something, but for the life of me, I can't remember what.
That said, today I awoke without any morning wood. A shame, but the recovery has its ups and downs, I suppose.

Tomorrow, I have a female friend coming over to spend some time with. It's actually an ex-girlfriend of mine, but I don't think anything will happen. We're trying to stay friends. But still, looking forward to it!

Also, I don't really know why, but I opened up one of my favorite porn sites today. I just looked at it and ... it disgusted me. I have no idea why I would get so turned on at these kinds of things in the past. It's not real. Having experienced the real thing recently, I have no cravings whatsoever for porn anymore. I closed the browser and went to do something else. I'm very proud of myself for this.

@mindfulmike:
Yup, I do tend to see the overall picture more. That's a pitfall too, as well though. Because the last time I MO'd, I thought to myself: "Well, it's almost been twenty days. What's the harm?"

 

[BailHope]

Day 42: Today I met up with a female friend, who needed some comforting, because of troubles with her boyfriend. We spent some time talking, and some hugging happened as well to comfort her. Quite healthy for my rewiring, and I got to do some good along the way.
Unfortunately, I won't be seeing this girl again, as she confronted me with the fact that we still have feelings for each other, and she really wants to make it work with her boyfriend, so she said she had to terminate the friendship, so it wouldn't get in the way.
It's too bad, and I'll miss her, but I suppose I understand why she had to do what she did.

Anyway, I continue my reboot journey and my no MO journey as well. I'm 42 days in without any form of porn and it's been 5 days since my last O. Keep on truckin'.

 

[BailHope]

Day 43: Well ... f*ck.
Today I'll be resetting my MO counter once again. I have no one to blame but myself. I lasted 6 days.

Yesterday, I met up with this girl, and for some reason (knowing her, and knowing our history), I suspected that there was a good chance of having sex. So during the day I took some Cialis and some Horny Goat Weed to make sure that if the occasion should arise, I could perform adequately. The occasion never did arise (see my previous post for details).
But what I did get was an incredible horny night, with not a lot of sleep, and this morning I caved.
I have no one to blame but myself for this.

Still, I didn't resort to porn or porn fantasies and didn't employ death grip. I suppose that's something.
Today, I seem to lack motivation again. I'm beginning to suspect this has something to do with the O's. Last time I experienced a few days without any motivation, was after an O as well.

 

[BailHope]

Day 44: and today I'll be resetting my MO counter once again. I have no idea what's happening, but I keep waking up in the night, horny as hell. I must be dreaming about something, and then wake up I suppose, but it's annoying. At these moments I seem to have little to no self control what happens. So far, I have always been able to keep in control of my urges to some extent, but now it seemed like I had no control at all.
I'm hoping I can blame this on the dose of Horny Goat Weed I took yesterday, so that this will disappear today or maybe tomorrow.

Lesson learned: don't take Horny Goat Weed if you're not 100% sure you are going to have sex.

 

[Diesel driver]

When it comes to sex, I believe it is best to be as flexible as possible. More enjoyment less frustration.
Thus I'm not a fan of libido/ erection boosters. I would prefer multivatimins, zinc etc. that are supposed to give back the nutrients you lost during your PMO career to you.

I know how it is to wake up in the night super horny. I believe our brains attempt to cause a wet dream but the assets are missing (maybe dopamine but noone knows exactly).
If you're interested you can check out my journal here: http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=6705.0. I had this two times I think. Ironically I relapsed after a succesful wet dream, the circumstances were very awkward.

Anyway it shows some serious progress. But I recommend you quit MO as well. It makes you more resistant during these difficult situations.

Cheers!

 

[BailHope]

@Diesel driver: I completely agree about the MO part. It's my goal to stop for thirty days. My maximum so far has been 18 days though. So I have some ways to go on that regards. Still, today I didn't MO, whoohoo!

 

[BailHope]

Day 45: Today I complete the first half of my no PMO challenge. Let me tell you, it's been a ride.

Not because it's difficult. But because it isn't. I made appropriate changes in my life, took up some new hobbies and ways to pass my time. I have hardly experienced any urges at all since starting this. No relapses into PMO at all. There was one time I opened up a browser and typed in my (used to be) favorite porn site. I looked at the images ... and it disgusted me. I could no longer fathom why I would have ever masturbated to such things.
This points out to me that I have achieved quite the change of mindset in the last 45 days. I'm pretty proud of myself.

But also, the fact that I didn't have any urges at all, seems to point out that I was never a real addict of porn either. I see a lot of people posting on this site who have real problems with staying away from porn, while I don't.
I definitely had PIED though, and I still do, but without the real addiction part, it seems.

Which is nice, I suppose. One less obstacle to worry about.

I do feel like I have a masturbatory problem. I haven't been able to go more than 18 days without MO and I am a bit disappointed in myself with this. Of course, looking at the big picture, 18 days is quite a lot. Especially coming from at least once a day. In the last 45 days, I have achieved 4 orgasms. Without a change of habit, that would have been at least 45 orgasms, so it is quite a massive change.
But still, urges to masturbate are becoming more frequent now, sometimes waking up in the middle of the night, horny as hell. Sometimes finding it triggering to watch a tv show which includes a (graphic) sex scene (like Game of Thrones). I resist those triggers pretty well, but I can feel their pull while I'm sitting on my couch quite strongly.
So far I haven't given into those triggers, but it is something that seems to be far more triggering for me than actual porn.

In any case, I've had a few occurrences of real arousal during the day that I find quite exhilarating because I can't even remember the last time I actually got aroused by the prospect of seeing some girl, or even hugging a bit could set me off a bit. For me, this does imply that things are changing.

If I had to guess, I'd say my biggest problem wasn't exactly the porn watching, but it was more the death grip masturbation that I was definitely employing. My sensitivity seems to have returned somewhat so far. I'm interested in seeing how far I can take this and how long it will take me to regain full sensitivity. I'm hopeful.

 

[BailHope]

Day 46: I can hardly believe it myself, but I'm resetting my MO counter once again, after one day free of MO. This is very strange. I went for so long without any MO, and now it seems I'm horny as hell when I wake up and have little to no self control.

I'm starting to really get demotivated by this. I guess I need to return to educate myself daily by reading on yourbrainonporn.com like I used to do in the beginning. When I was really convinced that it was for the best, I was able to stay away from masturbation completely, but now it seems I'm wavering. I hope I'll get back on track.

 

[BailHope]

Day 47: woohoo. I got out of bed this morning without a problem. I'm feeling very motivated to start my day. I took a shower this morning and was forced to take a cold shower in the end, because our building had run out of hot water. Man, that was a wake up call.

Today, no MO or urge to either. I'm feeling great!

 

[BailHope]

Day 48 of no PMO. Feeling great. Got out of bed ok. Had a bit of a slow day, but that's fine. Again, today I experienced an urge to open up my favorite porn website. This is strange because in the last 48 days, I hardly had any of these urges, but they are coming up now. I opened the tab, and closed it again without doing anything. I am stronger than this.

Tonight, I will be going out with friends. I'll make sure to go easy on the alcohol so I don't relapse in the morning because I feel like this is a dangerous time. But I remain committed to stop the porn and masturbation.