31yo reboot journal - Arahant

[arahant]

More than one month in and feeling great.
A couple of nights ago I had the first wet dream of my life. I've never ever had one, as far as I remember. I think I never went orgasm-free for more than one month in my life. A new experience indeed. I feared some kind of chaser effect but there was none at all.
My sexual drive was very high the last days but it's decreasing now.
Honestly I already feel "healed" (I've never had any PIED, I'm just fighting addiction to pornography in itself).
On we go

 

[Supercomeback]

This is great!

But don't let you guard down, one month is not enough for the brain to forget about porn..

 

[arahant]

Hello everyone,
things are going great, even if my sexual drive is very high these days.
I would like to have real sex.
I see from the counter that it's 40 days since I'm in complete hard mode and that feels like a good achievement, even if I'm not counting days any more at all.
My daily meditation is going very well.
I've never felt any urge to look at porn, but sometimes I did feel some small urges to look for escorts or gangbangs, which I didn't do.
So right now I should diverge this sexual energy to something creative and healthy, maybe photography or going on to learn to play guitar.
I hope everyone is well here!
Cheers folks!

 

[bill8]

Hey Arahant,

Just catching up on your journal.  I can empathize with the increase in libido.  I wish I had better advice for you in your current situation.  I admire your commitment to your ethics though.

Keep it up.

 

[virtueorvice]

Hello everyone,
things are going great, even if my sexual drive is very high these days.
I would like to have real sex.
I see from the counter that it's 40 days since I'm in complete hard mode and that feels like a good achievement, even if I'm not counting days any more at all.
My daily meditation is going very well.
I've never felt any urge to look at porn, but sometimes I did feel some small urges to look for escorts or gangbangs, which I didn't do.
So right now I should diverge this sexual energy to something creative and healthy, maybe photography or going on to learn to play guitar.
I hope everyone is well here!
Cheers folks!

Good luck, dude! Learning to play the guitar, or any other musical instrument for that matter, is super rewarding. The beginning is difficult but actually it challenges your brain a lot. Nothing can help a brain like a musical instrument.

 

[arahant]

Hello,
tonight was a difficult time as I was very stressed and didn't want to go to sleep. I felt a strong urge to masturbate at one time, not at porn, just to masturbate but I prevailed. I slept only 3 hours tonight but I managed to meditate for 45 minutes in the morning anyway.
I don't feel the need to look at pornography, but sometimes I do feel the need for a sexual release.
Hard mode is called hard for a reason.

 

[bill8]

Hey Arahant, just stopping by to check up on you.  Sounds like you had a tough day in your last post.  I hope all is well with you.