rebootrapp
Active Member
Today was rough.
I'm a political junkie. I check the news a few times a day, listen to talk radio podcasts, tv shows, etc. Yesterday, I got an email from a site that got my email address through a organization I signed up with or something, and it linked to an article regarding the Cruz/Trump wife debacle that's been going on, the headline was about the woman that posted the PAC ad about Trumps wife using the half naked picture of her. This has been in headlines, and this is the first time the PAC person has come forward to say anything about it. So I clicked on it to read it. I read it, it had the picture of Mrs. Trump which I saw but scrolled right by. It's not why I was on that page. When my wife and I were laying bed we talked about infidelity , our opinions about those who have physical affairs, and also about how my day had gone reboot wise. I told her about my temptation I posted about yesterday to check out the actress. I didn't mention the Mrs. Trump picture, because it didn't cross my mind. Not even a little.
I also told her how one of the ways I was taking away my PMO triggers was to wake up later and not have that time in the morning when I would usually do it. I wake up a 4:45am or so, so it's still early, but I used to get up at 4:20 or so, that's a lot of time I don't have anymore. Anyway, today I get up, come downstairs, take a piss, and decide to grab a 5 minute nap on the couch before I get ready. She comes downstairs also use the bathroom and mentions something about how it seems like I still have plenty of time if I can nap. Which I guess is true, but we live 1.5 miles from my job, so I had enough time to nap and get ready and be there on time. My issue is not actually being late for work, but getting a parking spot. So I'd just have to walk a little father of anything.
So she's already a little mad, goes upstairs and grabs my phone and goes through it. I've told her that I've got no issue with her doing this, if anything it might help. This article I hadn't closed, and it popped up in my private browser of Safari, I really don't know why. So she saw that, in private mode, which I've told her is where I would check out P, and it sent her over the edge. She came flying downstairs and dropped my phone in front of me, and confronts me about it. She's super serious about it, and I'm struggling to get into serious mode a little, I can see she's pissed but it's a political article. That's why I had read it. I couldn't care less about Melania Trump being half naked, if I really wanted to pull up P and try to hide it, it wouldn't be Melania Trump embedded in a political article.
But she's still hurt obviously from all the years of lying about P in the first place. P has turned me into a man that upon reflection, I don't like. I'm trying to live my life differently for me, for her, and for our son. But she can't see that, she doesn't believe a word I say, and this certainly isn't going to help.
I've made it three weeks now with only two serious urges to view P or P subs, and have told
her both times. Admittedly, I didn't tell her right away yesterday, it took me a bit to come forward with it. I think that one huge reason why I've made it this far is her support and love. But I could see
her pulling back this morning, withdrawing from me. I asked her not to build a wall, our closeness this last week especially has been amazing.
I fear that it has made me a little too confident in my ability to withstand any urges. Yesterday was my closest call yet with the actress thing. And on top of that now, my relationship with my wife is now set back at least a week, if not more. This shut sucks boys. I'm trying to do things right, but she can't trust me yet. I'm sure you've all been here too. It's rough. I just need to re-center myself, read more, learn more. I hope she'll stay with me long enough to see this through, I love this woman more than she knows. Thanks for reading.
I'm a political junkie. I check the news a few times a day, listen to talk radio podcasts, tv shows, etc. Yesterday, I got an email from a site that got my email address through a organization I signed up with or something, and it linked to an article regarding the Cruz/Trump wife debacle that's been going on, the headline was about the woman that posted the PAC ad about Trumps wife using the half naked picture of her. This has been in headlines, and this is the first time the PAC person has come forward to say anything about it. So I clicked on it to read it. I read it, it had the picture of Mrs. Trump which I saw but scrolled right by. It's not why I was on that page. When my wife and I were laying bed we talked about infidelity , our opinions about those who have physical affairs, and also about how my day had gone reboot wise. I told her about my temptation I posted about yesterday to check out the actress. I didn't mention the Mrs. Trump picture, because it didn't cross my mind. Not even a little.
I also told her how one of the ways I was taking away my PMO triggers was to wake up later and not have that time in the morning when I would usually do it. I wake up a 4:45am or so, so it's still early, but I used to get up at 4:20 or so, that's a lot of time I don't have anymore. Anyway, today I get up, come downstairs, take a piss, and decide to grab a 5 minute nap on the couch before I get ready. She comes downstairs also use the bathroom and mentions something about how it seems like I still have plenty of time if I can nap. Which I guess is true, but we live 1.5 miles from my job, so I had enough time to nap and get ready and be there on time. My issue is not actually being late for work, but getting a parking spot. So I'd just have to walk a little father of anything.
So she's already a little mad, goes upstairs and grabs my phone and goes through it. I've told her that I've got no issue with her doing this, if anything it might help. This article I hadn't closed, and it popped up in my private browser of Safari, I really don't know why. So she saw that, in private mode, which I've told her is where I would check out P, and it sent her over the edge. She came flying downstairs and dropped my phone in front of me, and confronts me about it. She's super serious about it, and I'm struggling to get into serious mode a little, I can see she's pissed but it's a political article. That's why I had read it. I couldn't care less about Melania Trump being half naked, if I really wanted to pull up P and try to hide it, it wouldn't be Melania Trump embedded in a political article.
But she's still hurt obviously from all the years of lying about P in the first place. P has turned me into a man that upon reflection, I don't like. I'm trying to live my life differently for me, for her, and for our son. But she can't see that, she doesn't believe a word I say, and this certainly isn't going to help.
I've made it three weeks now with only two serious urges to view P or P subs, and have told
her both times. Admittedly, I didn't tell her right away yesterday, it took me a bit to come forward with it. I think that one huge reason why I've made it this far is her support and love. But I could see
her pulling back this morning, withdrawing from me. I asked her not to build a wall, our closeness this last week especially has been amazing.
I fear that it has made me a little too confident in my ability to withstand any urges. Yesterday was my closest call yet with the actress thing. And on top of that now, my relationship with my wife is now set back at least a week, if not more. This shut sucks boys. I'm trying to do things right, but she can't trust me yet. I'm sure you've all been here too. It's rough. I just need to re-center myself, read more, learn more. I hope she'll stay with me long enough to see this through, I love this woman more than she knows. Thanks for reading.
