No time like the present
- Thread starter Needs Coffee
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Needs Coffee
Member
39 days. Staying strong against porn well enough. But I'm not yet at a place I'd call "normal."
Real sex, my performance isn't up to where I want it to be. I think there's a combination of factors:
Come to think of it, I've never been at a place in my life that would qualify as "normal." So, I'm going to set my target way higher than I've ever been before in my life... "a little better than normal!"
Real sex, my performance isn't up to where I want it to be. I think there's a combination of factors:
- I'm still in the reboot and readjusting my mind/body connections. This takes time... and practice.
- I'm still adjusting to the increase in my level of exercise. I'll get back up to my old level of fitness. I used to be in really good shape and I don't see any reason why I can't get it back. But in the meantime, being tired and sore doesn't make for stellar performance in the sack. This takes time, and sticking to my diet/exercise routine.
- I think I have performance anxiety. Between my previous incidence of PIED and reading the stories of others that have had performance problems, I think it causes me to worry about not being as hard or lasting long. This takes practice. Although I don't think I've performed that well, I haven't gotten any complaints. So I don't have to practice alone.
- As if I haven't bitched enough about being unemployed... it is something that weighs on my mind every waking hour.
Come to think of it, I've never been at a place in my life that would qualify as "normal." So, I'm going to set my target way higher than I've ever been before in my life... "a little better than normal!"
HoosierState
Member
30 years to develop a habit and 42 days to eliminate it? Nope, it's going to take longer, but not nearly as long as we let the habit linger. Come to think about it, did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
Keep up the fight Needs Coffee and just carry on. You're doing great. Don't forget to post your thoughts up here. They don't even have to do with your PMO. The job hunt thing is HUUUGE and I'd love to stomp on that frustration for ya. I hope you're getting super creative and thinking outside the box as you hunt. I own my own company and notice those who do things differently than everyone else. If you're not that brave, not a problem. Most are not. But I just wanted to plant the seed. If you think you'd come out great on a camera, do a youtube vid on why you'd be a great engineer. Include that link on your resume. Go offer to work for free for the company you want to work for. Seriously. Tell them if they don't like you, they can send you home. Put that in your resume. Screw what you're supposed to do. Lastly, have fun with it. Don't mess something up looking silly, just have genuine fun. When at an interview try to get them to understand how good things would be if you worked for them. And then give them reasons why you can pull that off. No need to oversell. But I'm guessing a lot of engineers are not that creative. You don't have to be, but a little bit might help.
I am in IT/WEB/Marketing. The IT superstars right now are guys who bridge the gap from geek to management. better yet, a IT qualified person with an MBA and who works really well with management and the techies is the gold standard right now. This is because so many IT masters of the past have been real introverts. Now the money is flowing to the zen masters who can geek out wih the best, but also are fun to be around and understand the management point of view.
Well, I got to get back to work. Me, I'm working today (Saturday) at my own business at my office. Yep, the American dream baby. (actually work is going real well and that requires some sacrifice). Hope you're week ahead finds a great opportunity for you. Peace.
Keep up the fight Needs Coffee and just carry on. You're doing great. Don't forget to post your thoughts up here. They don't even have to do with your PMO. The job hunt thing is HUUUGE and I'd love to stomp on that frustration for ya. I hope you're getting super creative and thinking outside the box as you hunt. I own my own company and notice those who do things differently than everyone else. If you're not that brave, not a problem. Most are not. But I just wanted to plant the seed. If you think you'd come out great on a camera, do a youtube vid on why you'd be a great engineer. Include that link on your resume. Go offer to work for free for the company you want to work for. Seriously. Tell them if they don't like you, they can send you home. Put that in your resume. Screw what you're supposed to do. Lastly, have fun with it. Don't mess something up looking silly, just have genuine fun. When at an interview try to get them to understand how good things would be if you worked for them. And then give them reasons why you can pull that off. No need to oversell. But I'm guessing a lot of engineers are not that creative. You don't have to be, but a little bit might help.
I am in IT/WEB/Marketing. The IT superstars right now are guys who bridge the gap from geek to management. better yet, a IT qualified person with an MBA and who works really well with management and the techies is the gold standard right now. This is because so many IT masters of the past have been real introverts. Now the money is flowing to the zen masters who can geek out wih the best, but also are fun to be around and understand the management point of view.
Well, I got to get back to work. Me, I'm working today (Saturday) at my own business at my office. Yep, the American dream baby. (actually work is going real well and that requires some sacrifice). Hope you're week ahead finds a great opportunity for you. Peace.
Needs Coffee
Member
Many thanks for the pep talk HS!
I sent you a shortcut to my YouTube channel, mostly teaching videos. (So, you get a personal reveal of my real world name and what I look like.) I have a very diverse work history that includes video editing. I haven't done a resume video, but it's an intriguing idea... very intriguing. Hmmm.
I've gotten a ton of great advice that I've used in my resume, and I have an album including pictures and work samples that I've brought to my interviews with good success... but not landed a job. I have an interview next Thursday with a company a couple hours away that would be a very good fit, I think. I need to brush up on all the reasons they should pick me.
One of the things that I don't think most of the people doing the hiring appreciate is the fact that I have run my own business. I was good at it (and it was a ton of work, as you know), but it wasn't nearly as profitable for me as returning to school and getting a degree, then working at a company. And I was raised on a farm (which was very much a business that the entire family was invested in) where I've had chores for as long as I can remember. And I had to learn self-discipline or else someone else would discipline me. LOL.
I wish I would have gotten your advice before I returned to school. I had worked in IT as a network administrator in the religious order, with no degree or certification. I was very good at it and learned a lot, very fast. But I was burned out by the crazy demands and difficult people I had to work with. I don't regret the degree I've chosen. I've already had professors tell me that all the diverse experience I have will be valuable again in the future. It's just a matter of getting that first real job after graduation, then growing from there.
I hope work keeps rolling your way! Now the time and energy that you used to waste on PMO is getting put to better use!
I sent you a shortcut to my YouTube channel, mostly teaching videos. (So, you get a personal reveal of my real world name and what I look like.) I have a very diverse work history that includes video editing. I haven't done a resume video, but it's an intriguing idea... very intriguing. Hmmm.
I've gotten a ton of great advice that I've used in my resume, and I have an album including pictures and work samples that I've brought to my interviews with good success... but not landed a job. I have an interview next Thursday with a company a couple hours away that would be a very good fit, I think. I need to brush up on all the reasons they should pick me.
One of the things that I don't think most of the people doing the hiring appreciate is the fact that I have run my own business. I was good at it (and it was a ton of work, as you know), but it wasn't nearly as profitable for me as returning to school and getting a degree, then working at a company. And I was raised on a farm (which was very much a business that the entire family was invested in) where I've had chores for as long as I can remember. And I had to learn self-discipline or else someone else would discipline me. LOL.
I wish I would have gotten your advice before I returned to school. I had worked in IT as a network administrator in the religious order, with no degree or certification. I was very good at it and learned a lot, very fast. But I was burned out by the crazy demands and difficult people I had to work with. I don't regret the degree I've chosen. I've already had professors tell me that all the diverse experience I have will be valuable again in the future. It's just a matter of getting that first real job after graduation, then growing from there.
I hope work keeps rolling your way! Now the time and energy that you used to waste on PMO is getting put to better use!
Needs Coffee
Member
Big interview tomorrow morning. Landing that position would be a dream come true. Studying up today. A friend is coming over later to coach me. Then to try to get a good night's sleep for an early drive tomorrow morning.
PMO? Heck no!
"Ain't nobody got time for that!"
PMO? Heck no!
"Ain't nobody got time for that!"
HoosierState
Member
Hey NC, I hope it goes/went well!
savingmysoul
Active Member
hey Coffee,
Hope today went very well - good luck to you!
Hang tough!
Hope today went very well - good luck to you!
Hang tough!
OldHornyGuy
Active Member
Hope the dream job came through!
Needs Coffee
Member
Aargh! Another job I didn't get. I thought the interview went very well, but evidently not well enough. The recruiter said that I was among several strong candidates, but each of us was rejected for one reason or another. At least I learned from the experience and it gave me some practice interviewing for a slightly different position than I have before.
It sounds like another case where they're looking for some perfect candidate... the type of person who already is excelling in a job somewhere else and has no interest in applying to their company.
There was a red flag that went up during the series of interviews for the position. The guy that I would be taking over the work from mentioned the crazy long hours he's been working since the company started, yet his wife makes more money at her 8-5 career. Hmmm. Sounds like the decision-makers would rather continue paying him peanuts and make him do the work of two people rather than put money toward adding someone who won't work for peanuts.
It wasn't the news I wanted, but at least it came the day after the interview so that I know to get back to the hunt. There's a dream job out there somewhere for me.
Previously, after bad news like this, I'd deaden the pain with lots of PMO. But at this point, I really don't have any libido. It's just kinda disappeared on me again. Time to put that energy back in the job-hunt.
It sounds like another case where they're looking for some perfect candidate... the type of person who already is excelling in a job somewhere else and has no interest in applying to their company.
There was a red flag that went up during the series of interviews for the position. The guy that I would be taking over the work from mentioned the crazy long hours he's been working since the company started, yet his wife makes more money at her 8-5 career. Hmmm. Sounds like the decision-makers would rather continue paying him peanuts and make him do the work of two people rather than put money toward adding someone who won't work for peanuts.
It wasn't the news I wanted, but at least it came the day after the interview so that I know to get back to the hunt. There's a dream job out there somewhere for me.
Previously, after bad news like this, I'd deaden the pain with lots of PMO. But at this point, I really don't have any libido. It's just kinda disappeared on me again. Time to put that energy back in the job-hunt.
HoosierState
Member
Sorry to hear you didn't get this job. Glad to hear you won't let that setback push you further back by PMO binging. Keep up the drive for your goals. I am reading "The Slight Edge" which was recommended on YourBrainonPorn. It's helping me understand how success in goals works. The slight edge is simply to keep doing what you were doing that gave you success. Often we stop doing actions that help us when we are tired or discouraged. I hope you'll transmute some of your no PMO energy to double up your interview effort. P.s. thanks for the video editing tips you sent me.
savingmysoul
Active Member
sorry to hear it didn't work out, but very glad to hear you did not allow yourself to fall back into the old ways. Positives and negatives - both are essential to growth and both can be learned from. Youre doing great - hang in there.
OldHornyGuy
Active Member
Sorry you didn't get the job, I know what a bummer that can be. I have been "semi-employed" for the past two years, with a combination of part time jobs that almost brings in enough money to survive. Something should open up for you, sounds like you have a degree in a field that should be valuable!
And amazing job on staying clean in the face of adversity, that is probably the biggest challenge of all. You Da Man!
Peace and Stay Strong!
And amazing job on staying clean in the face of adversity, that is probably the biggest challenge of all. You Da Man!
Peace and Stay Strong!
Needs Coffee
Member
Some new job opportunities are starting to show up. I had a phone interview today. So, things are moving.
On a brighter note, I'm closing in on 60 days without PMO. Stay the course and next week I'll bump my goal up to the next level. I think I'm going through another flatline-ish phase. There's morning wood, but no evidence of libido the rest of the day.
On a brighter note, I'm closing in on 60 days without PMO. Stay the course and next week I'll bump my goal up to the next level. I think I'm going through another flatline-ish phase. There's morning wood, but no evidence of libido the rest of the day.
OldHornyGuy
Active Member
Sounds like you are looking at the shiny side of the coin and that is a great thing. It's funny how, even in things that you wouldn't think could be this way, a momentum starts gathering and suddenly things start breaking good all at the same time. When you fully turn that corner, the combination of being clean and starting a new job will send you into orbit!
I also noticed that you began this journey just a few days before I did, so we both are closing in on the 60 day mark. I would have never, ever thought this was possible, a couple of days, maybe a week was my previous "record." I hope that for you, like me, the urge is just fading away.
I also noticed that you began this journey just a few days before I did, so we both are closing in on the 60 day mark. I would have never, ever thought this was possible, a couple of days, maybe a week was my previous "record." I hope that for you, like me, the urge is just fading away.
Needs Coffee
Member
Up to 62 days, so bumping the goal up to 90. I seem to be flatlining. Not much interest in PMO or MO.
Still job-hunting.
Still job-hunting.
savingmysoul
Active Member
Grats on 65 days!
90 will be here before you know it.
Stay strong!
90 will be here before you know it.
Stay strong!
HoosierState
Member
Congrats on passing the 60 mark NC! I hope the job hunting is looking better. Also (if not already considered) I wanted to recommend a mid way suggestion of a part time job. Not as much for the money but for these reasons. 1. How you'll feel. Because waiting combined with rejection will take a toll. 2. How you'll appear to employer. Shows you're working which if you're not could be discriminating against you. 3. Something different to do. Even a job at Starbucks a few days a week will teach you something that your scientific environment won't. This may help you in many ways you can't initially even consider.
I am a big believer in fundamentals. I constantly test myself by considering and then doing jobs I might consider beneath me. I own my own company but will volunteer as a dishwasher instead of a leader (I get tons of leadership duties). Being at the bottom never bothered me for long as I knew it was temporary. Trust your true beliefs about who you are. Struggling to find work may be an indicator of a problem within us. If so fix it. If not, adjust the sails and make a temporary plan while keeping your long term plans.
I'm going to assume you already know all this but if you're like most guys, you need a reminder from an outsider about what you already knew. Peace.
I am a big believer in fundamentals. I constantly test myself by considering and then doing jobs I might consider beneath me. I own my own company but will volunteer as a dishwasher instead of a leader (I get tons of leadership duties). Being at the bottom never bothered me for long as I knew it was temporary. Trust your true beliefs about who you are. Struggling to find work may be an indicator of a problem within us. If so fix it. If not, adjust the sails and make a temporary plan while keeping your long term plans.
I'm going to assume you already know all this but if you're like most guys, you need a reminder from an outsider about what you already knew. Peace.
Needs Coffee
Member
Almost 75 days now! And still going strong. Like I've said before, the PMO was so deeply entrenched that I thought it was "my normal" and it would always be a part of my life. After really learning what it had done to my life and was doing to me, I've changed "my normal." I won't say that making this change has always been easy, but it has certainly been worth it.
Timing my reboot with my post-graduation job-hunt has made both challenges "interesting." I'm not sure whether the job-hunt mojo goes up and down because of my up and down libido, or vice versa, or a little of both. In actuality, my job-hunt is going well. During the summer, there just weren't a lot of positions showing up that were right for me. More are showing up now, some very interesting opportunities. After earlier experience, I've had a chance to brush up my resume, cover letters, interview skills, etc. And my most qualified classmates are getting jobs, and that's improving my odds as these new positions are posted. So I'm keeping very upbeat about my prospects.
HS, I've been away from the forum for a while since I was busy either job-hunting or picking up work in the country. Baling hay pays well and is a break from job-hunting. And it's a heck of a workout!
Timing my reboot with my post-graduation job-hunt has made both challenges "interesting." I'm not sure whether the job-hunt mojo goes up and down because of my up and down libido, or vice versa, or a little of both. In actuality, my job-hunt is going well. During the summer, there just weren't a lot of positions showing up that were right for me. More are showing up now, some very interesting opportunities. After earlier experience, I've had a chance to brush up my resume, cover letters, interview skills, etc. And my most qualified classmates are getting jobs, and that's improving my odds as these new positions are posted. So I'm keeping very upbeat about my prospects.
HS, I've been away from the forum for a while since I was busy either job-hunting or picking up work in the country. Baling hay pays well and is a break from job-hunting. And it's a heck of a workout!
savingmysoul
Active Member
grats!
HoosierState
Member
Glad to hear the job hunting is looking better. I think most people get serious after the labor day weekend. I'll go out on an optimistic limb here and "predict" good things for you in Sept! Have a great holiday weekend. And of course, keep on rolling!