bob
Respected Member
The word in question is Ogle
Ogle, verb:
Synonyms:
This has been on my mind a lot lately. I hope writing will help clarify this typically male characteristic within myself.
I recently relapsed after 135 days PMO free. While abstaining from PMO I wasn't concerned about MO. It was my desire that over time the frequency of MO would diminish. It was happening less frequently but it wasn't my main center of focus.
I work around lots of young people so you can imagine encounters with young women wearing revealing tops, lots of cleavage, youthful legs sprouting from short skirts and the ubiquitous yoga tights, worn possibly sans underwear. I got to the point where I created a "snap the rubber band around the wrist" technique.
Can you visualize the symbol created when someone uses both hands to touch their index fingers together and thumbs together? It looks like a heart. Based on that two hands, one heart imagery, I took my right hand, curled my index finger in towards the base of my thumb, and pressed the pressure point at the "crotch" between my index finger and the base of my thumb. With a bit of pressure, my fingernail provided enough of a feeling/pain to distract me from that moment of ogling.
The reason I mention this is it was working. It became a process of self monitoring. I would remember to give the women their modesty and look away; even if that wasn't their desired reaction. I wasn't missing anything. My one handed heart symbol reminded me that I loved my wife. These young women had nothing over the love and intimacy that I had with my wife
Before anyone thinks I am a wonderful husband I must confess. I have spent a fair share of effort to ogle women in the past. I would even attempt to position myself for opportunities of maximum ogling. I'm not perfected by a long shot. It just gave me a tool to help redirect my myself; and it was working.
Fast forward to my reboot and all interest of this attitude were gone. All ideas of redirection vanished. I didn't even realize that I had been making headway until I found myself monitoring the telegraphed movement of those women for a better look. I knew they were about to bend over, walk in front of me, change direction. I took every advantage of those opportunities. Gone was any thought of redirection. I was amazed that the transformation; negative as it was. I was back to my old patterns of negative behavior. I was on the lookout to take in that imagery. And, within my work environment, those scenarios are abundant.
After 10 days sober, no PMO or MO, I am beginning to return to the positive process of redirection. I am pleased that this again is becoming a habit. I want this to be the norm With this progress, I will succeed.
Getting back to MO. I believe, for myself, abstaining from masturbation must be part of my recovery. To be completely whole, this part of my life must be eliminated. If begin with this behavior, the desires for those additional thoughts, images, and actions will grow. Difficult as it is, I must make the new me MO free. It may take time but if I continue in this direction, success will be possible.
Not sure why I feel the need to go into this. Maybe it is the shame I feel when I read of the pain PA's cause by their addiction, maybe its a way of understanding myself. Either way, I am glad for the opportunity to share and learn from others.
Peace to all.
Ogle, verb:
- To stare at in a lecherous manner.
- As in, "he was ogling her breasts"
Synonyms:
- To leer at,
- To stare at,
- To make eyes at,
- To check out,
This has been on my mind a lot lately. I hope writing will help clarify this typically male characteristic within myself.
I recently relapsed after 135 days PMO free. While abstaining from PMO I wasn't concerned about MO. It was my desire that over time the frequency of MO would diminish. It was happening less frequently but it wasn't my main center of focus.
I work around lots of young people so you can imagine encounters with young women wearing revealing tops, lots of cleavage, youthful legs sprouting from short skirts and the ubiquitous yoga tights, worn possibly sans underwear. I got to the point where I created a "snap the rubber band around the wrist" technique.
Can you visualize the symbol created when someone uses both hands to touch their index fingers together and thumbs together? It looks like a heart. Based on that two hands, one heart imagery, I took my right hand, curled my index finger in towards the base of my thumb, and pressed the pressure point at the "crotch" between my index finger and the base of my thumb. With a bit of pressure, my fingernail provided enough of a feeling/pain to distract me from that moment of ogling.
The reason I mention this is it was working. It became a process of self monitoring. I would remember to give the women their modesty and look away; even if that wasn't their desired reaction. I wasn't missing anything. My one handed heart symbol reminded me that I loved my wife. These young women had nothing over the love and intimacy that I had with my wife
Before anyone thinks I am a wonderful husband I must confess. I have spent a fair share of effort to ogle women in the past. I would even attempt to position myself for opportunities of maximum ogling. I'm not perfected by a long shot. It just gave me a tool to help redirect my myself; and it was working.
Fast forward to my reboot and all interest of this attitude were gone. All ideas of redirection vanished. I didn't even realize that I had been making headway until I found myself monitoring the telegraphed movement of those women for a better look. I knew they were about to bend over, walk in front of me, change direction. I took every advantage of those opportunities. Gone was any thought of redirection. I was amazed that the transformation; negative as it was. I was back to my old patterns of negative behavior. I was on the lookout to take in that imagery. And, within my work environment, those scenarios are abundant.
After 10 days sober, no PMO or MO, I am beginning to return to the positive process of redirection. I am pleased that this again is becoming a habit. I want this to be the norm With this progress, I will succeed.
Getting back to MO. I believe, for myself, abstaining from masturbation must be part of my recovery. To be completely whole, this part of my life must be eliminated. If begin with this behavior, the desires for those additional thoughts, images, and actions will grow. Difficult as it is, I must make the new me MO free. It may take time but if I continue in this direction, success will be possible.
Not sure why I feel the need to go into this. Maybe it is the shame I feel when I read of the pain PA's cause by their addiction, maybe its a way of understanding myself. Either way, I am glad for the opportunity to share and learn from others.
Peace to all.