VICTORY over PMO

[PMOVictory]

Thanx you all for the best wishes.

We are busy wrapping up all that needs to be done before we leave.
Just a pity our currency is so weak to the dollar. R11.65 for $1.00 

In 37 hours we will be taking off.

Woooopy!

 

[PMOVictory]

Hi Guys, and Ladies

Its been a rough ride since leaving home...
Long hours on the plain...
No Sleep...
Jet-lag...
Connectivity problems, etc.

For now I'm back!
Some of might have noticed that I started posting again on some of the other posts.
I have grown to love spending time here on the forum, reading and posting that I have actually missed it a lot since a week ago.

All the encouragement and support still plays a big roll in staying positive and PMO free.
I hate that all the 12 step programmes start by saying, "Once an addict always an addict."
Let me explain.
As a Christian and believer in the Saving power of Jesus Christ. Having experienced it in my personal life. Of which victory over PMO is but one and the most recent example. I am convinced that there are strength in numbers. And that full recovery of the mind are still in the distance.
A forum like this helps you to stay focused and have a more personal relationship with others. And this is what we as humans need. The chances that I will ever meet some of you in real life are slim. However, I know you are out there and that you respond to what I say. This type of experience are not that responsive when it gets to spiritual things.
Having said this, I by no means want to discredit spirituality. Or give that impression.
Actually I see an analogy in the experience of this forum and spirituality.
It works like this.
I need to spend time in the word of God reading and finding things that apply to my life and situation, like I am doing here on Reboot Nation. Even some times read things that are not relevant to my situation helps to educate me and identify pitfalls. This enlightens me and build confidence.
Then I would pray to God to help, strengthen and guide me. In the same way that I would cry out for help here on the forum by posting something in it.
After a while I will get a response to what I have said and asked for. Not always in the way that I expected it to come. At times someone might even PM me and give more personal advice to what I need to hear. This is great and helps me in overcoming temptation and heart ship.
Isn't it wonderful!

Getting back to my progress!

I'm doing very well. It's been almost 6 months now...
A lot has changed since!!!

Most of it not in the way I expected it to.
Remember I never had ED, but were very much over used down under.

The most significant changes I have noticed were that I am more responsive and a lot more sensitive to pleasure.
Making love to my wife has also taken a deeper meaning to it. It is not about just pleasing myself anymore, but first and foremost pleasing her and by that the satisfaction for me is so much greater.

I have also during the past week noticed that I would wake up during the night, say any time between 2 - 4 am with the most amazing strong erections. They would just last forever. I have never experienced something like this before. What a great feeling... 8) Obviously not allowing it to put me into a downward spiral of PMO, I perused my wife and had the most amazing relief making real LOVE to her.
I have been thinking of this and I have realised, and please correct me if you think that I am wrong...
This sure are as close as it is supposed to have been designed by the master designer.

What a blessing it has been.
How could I have allowed myself to miss out on this by being so selfishly trapped in the PMO habit....!
Foolishly thinking that the more I did it the better it would have become...!
Like a dog chasing a car... then when the car stops, it does not know what to do with it... :-\

So this is my plea to anyone that may read this and are still battling to beat the PMO dragon and asking himself is it really worth it?

Yes my Friend it is!!!
And yes, much more than what you can imagine!!!

Stay strong and receive the Blessing!

 

[PMOVictory]

Hi All

So today is 171 days, just 6 days ago I wrote what I did above.

And today I almost slipped back. It so happened that because of the circumstances we, my wife and I, find ourselves haven't had the opportunity to make love for over a week. We are also very busy and stressed as a result of the situation we are at right now. Although we both enjoy what we are doing here during our visit in the USA.

Because of the lack of physical relief and all, I have found myself to be ooooh so horny!

At some stage during today while we were out in town I had to go to the rest room... Instead of just using the urinal I opted to pee in the toilet, nicely secured where no one can see me. Then the need to stroke away raised and that is exactly what I started doing. We all know the good feeling...

While enjoying this great feeling in my mind a battle raged!
No one will know...
It will be fast....
I could get myself off in less than a minute if I can just carry on with this...
I have not done it in such a long time, maybe I can justify this one...

On the other hand I know that I don't want to do this...
I don't need to do this...
I can not do this...
Doing this will be cheating and it is wrong...
Waiting another day will be easy...
I accomplished 90 days not so long ago without even an orgasm why want to spoil this...

I am glad and proud to report to you that I stood strong and stopped in my tracks with what I was busy doing!
I have no feeling of guilt that raged over me coz I could not pull it through!
I still have a clean slate, and I know that when I will eventually make love to my wife, I can submit to her completely without any feeling of guilt or failure!
I just want to thank God for His mercy and unmerited grace!

It does get better and easier to resist temptation, but you should never get to relaxed, the PMO monster is still slumbering there somewhere in a neuro pathway! Don't let your guard down, he might just overwhelm you!

Stay strong and receive the Blessing!

 

[Newborn Brain]

Hi, PMOVictory!

I'm glad I found this site and people like you, with so much faith in the Lord and willingness to strike out!

I am a Christian too and rely on the merits of the redeeming power of Our Lord Jesus. He has done marvellous things in my life and has helped me a lot through my struggles, including with PMO.

"Once an addict, always an addict" - for some time this statement also bothered me, but when I read it through the lenses of 2 Corinthians 12:9 (?My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.?), I could understand that God uses our weaknesses to teach us great lessons and show how much we need Him, and how close we need to be to Him, if we want to be successful in our lives.

The next teaching comes from The Book of Mormon, One More Witness of Christ:

27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Again, we learn that our weaknesses can be used to remind us that through humbleness, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and honest and hardwork we can become better people than we are!

Since I gave up trying to control the PMO beast by myself and let Heavenly Father help me, I too have found strength never ever imagined before, and what is best, I have been (just like you) able to stand as a witness that HE can do whatever HE wants to do, if I humbly ask HIM to help me.

Let's move onward! There are still many blessings to receive - but the greatest of all, to me, is the presence of my God in my life!!!

Love you, man!

Stay strong and receive the blessings!

 

[PMOVictory]

Thank you for your kind words Newborn Brain.

I am just as grateful. This Forum sure is doing a great job in helping us addicts and others get back on the straight and narrow.
It also gives the opportunity to share and be of help to others.

Stay strong and be Blessed!

 

[Newborn Brain]

Thanks, man!

Let's go onward! There is sunshine after rain... Let's be glad for both rain or sun...

Be strong and be with us!

 

[PMOVictory]

Hi All

I keep on ending my posts by saying... "Stay strong and receive the Blessing!"

Well I'm glad to report to you all that the blessing can come in a lot of ways. Some times from avenues that we don't expect.
As you all are aware of, I'm in the USA with my wife for a little vacation of 5+ weeks, and also visiting with friends while we are here. It so happened that these friends have professional video recording and editing equipment with a studio where recordings are made. My wife mentioned to them that I am working on a presentation that I will be presenting April next year at a christian mens camp, and that I feel the need to spread the word of hope to as many men as possible and to let them know that there is hope and help for porn addicts.
Well... they offered to do a series of recordings for me, free... did you get it FREE of charge. We will do it this Sunday 2nd November... I'm sooo excited I can hardly contain myself.
Not to mention all the extra time I'm putting in to get everything prepared for this big "event".

Please, pray for me! I know you are all out there, a lot of Christians on the forum, that I have conversed with and got acquainted to!
I need to do this to the best of my abilities, I only have one shot at this, and I know it would have an impact on a lot of life's.

Remember God can take you shame and turn it in to a blessing for others and yourself. This is only possible through the atoning of His Son that died in my stead on the old rugged cross on the hill of Golgotha! Just as impossible it is to pick myself up by my own boot laces, so impossible it is for me to save myself into life eternal by my own merits or good works.
My works are just an overflow of my gratitude for what He has done for me.

Stay strong and be Blessed!

 

[Gracie]

This is great news!  The one thing I would say that is important about this is:  When you give up porn, do it for you and your wife and your relationship.  Do not do it for ED.  If you only do it for ED, it still makes sex the center of the relationship.  You need to bring your feeling for your spouse back into focus and communicate.  I say this only because in reading men's motivation, that seems to be the reason.  For we women it is about emotional connection and trust. 

Hope it goes excellent for you!

 

[PMOVictory]

Hi Gracie

Thank you for your input.

Personally I never suffered from ED.
I just always had this burning desire to get it out of my life Coz I knew it ruined a lot of it.
Marriage, Relationship with others, with God, Social activities, and the list goes on and on.
I so wish that all the men can realise that it is about more than their ED.
As a married couple our sex life improved 100 fold. Now it is not just about me and how much I can get, but how much I can give. Ironically by giving I receive more than what I give. And this does not just include sex!

We did the first recording Saturday evening, and will be doing the rest early Sunday morning. I have spend all night preparing the Power Point slides. Thank you for your best wishes.

And once again for your input, you know that I always value your wise words.

Stay strong and receive the Blessing!

 

[PMOVictory]

Hi to all my friends, followers and all of you out there struggling with PMO.

Well, tomorrow it's a week ago that our plane landed on the airport back home after a 6 week vacation.
The down side were that I did not have constant access to the internet. Thus I could not make regular visits to Reboot Nation. In a way I feel that I have missed out on some of the happenings.
On the Up side, a lot of good things happened during this time. We had a great time seeing parts of California USA, and Dubai.
We met nice people, we ate good food, and even made new friends.
I even had the opportunity to record a 3 part DVD series on Porn Addiction and get it edited Free of charge.
I've been working on this presentation for next year April, without knowing that this opportunity would come my way.
This will give me the opportunity to distribute the DVD's to guys in an attempt to help them understand this addiction.
Spreading the hope that this addiction can be beaten.

On a personal level things are going great! Porn is something of the distant past. Not thinking that I would ever have been able to beat this beast after 40 years of enslavement to it. I know that I would never have been able to make it on my own. The earnest honest prayers I prayed for a way out, my faith in God that would answer those prayers, RN and all the encouragement from fellow rebooters, together with all the other posts I've read on the Forum, not forgetting YBOP and all their valuable info, collectively played a roll in this process of healing and restoration.
But all of this would have helped nothing without me taking the steps toward restoration, staying committed to the decisions I made to beat this beast for good.
I have long passed the constant urge to see how my counter are ticking by, day by day. But it sure is nice to know that over 200 days have passed since watching porn and MO'd to it.
The intimacy between the wife and myself are so much better and deeper. How could I ever allowed the emptiness of PMO to take a stronghold on my life and messed it up.
But this is what deception is!
Those that are deceived does not know that they are deceived until they could break away from it and look at it with new eyes!

To everyone that are still having a struggle to beat this addiction... I just want to say, it is worth every ounce of sweat that you put in to it beating it.
More than what you can even imagine!

Do I still struggle with temptation to PMO?

Having tasted the sweet reward of being PMO FREE I don't and will not sacrifice it for anything!!!
Temptations are still there, trust me!
But knowing the triggers helps me to identify them before they take a stronghold.

I replaced a lot of bad habits with new GOOD ones.
I now spend more time with the family, less time on myself.
I started playing the Mandolin, and use a lot of time practicing it.
I spend lots of time educating myself on porn addiction, putting all of it together to present it to others.
I have this burning desire to start a ministry, helping other porn addicts!

So in short, life is so much better without porn in it! I wish it to all and everyone!!!

Stay strong and receive the Blessing!

 

[savingmysoul]

Great post PMO -

Glad things were great on the trip, glad things at home are wonderful.

Glad you are here with us and for us!

SMS

 

[Poker]

I like you. 

 

[PMOVictory]

Thanx SMS, I love being here. This is home for me. Amongst fellow rebooters figuring out what we need to figure out and supporting each other.

Thanx Poker,
I believe being PMO free is in the grasp of every committed rebooter!

I'm living proof!

Thank God for it!

 

[Nicksam1]

You go, man! I am just getting started, so your words are wonderful to read.

 

[Accountable]

Thank you so much for sharing your story PMOVictory!  I, also, started relying very heavily on PMO to make up for what I was "not getting" from my wife which has led to my problems.  After reading your journey, I think maybe I am the one with the sex drive problem.  Maybe mine has been so accelerated by porn that it is not normal.  Starting my reboot today and I hope that, in time, I will have a great success story as yours.

 

[PMOVictory]

Hi Nicksam1 & Accountable

Glad to see there is inspiration in my story. Wish I had the knowledge and guts to have done this Ages ago. Just think where I could have been by now.
On the other hand, with years of first hand knowledge and experience, I know exactly how difficult it is to beat this monster.
With this knowledge I am more equipped to help other men that struggle with this addiction.

I think maybe I am the one with the sex drive problem.  Maybe mine has been so accelerated by porn that it is not normal.

You hit the nail on the head. We are so screwed up by using porn that we can not distinguish between normal and abnormal.
I can tell you there are nothing better than to put my desires one side and serve my lady first. This by it self is such a turn on that it is easy for me to finish after she is fully satisfied. This was never possible!!!

Stay strong and receive the Blessings!

 

[Newborn Brain]

On a personal level things are going great! Porn is something of the distant past. Not thinking that I would ever have been able to beat this beast after 40 years of enslavement to it. I know that I would never have been able to make it on my own. The earnest honest prayers I prayed for a way out, my faith in God that would answer those prayers, RN and all the encouragement from fellow rebooters, together with all the other posts I've read on the Forum, not forgetting YBOP and all their valuable info, collectively played a roll in this process of healing and restoration.

Faith in God, and in Jesus, has been my strongest escape, my way out of PMO into a new and better life!

Thanks for sharing, PMOVictory!

 

[PMOVictory]

Thanx Newborn Brain

It is just to sad to know that there are a lot of others going through life without a relationship with their creator, and re-creator!
Life can be so much easier if this is the case!

Be strong and receive the Blessings!

 

[PMOVictory]

Hi to all Rebooters

I'm still around and doing great.
The counter is ticking and I'm nearing one year free of PMO.

This has been one awesome journey.
A lot of positive things happened during this last year.
I have made new friends here on the forum, all having the same challenges and one desire... to beat the dragon of PMO in their lives.
The struggle for some were more challenging than of others.
However our goal is the same.

Over the last couple of months I was not as active here on RN as I wanted to be, as I dealt with a lot of challenges in my business, traveled and were on vacation a couple of times. This all had it's influence in keeping me from posting here.

Thinking back on what triggered all of this more than a year ago, I can hardly believe that living a live PMO FREE could ever be possible!
Today I can vouch that I rarely think about porn anymore.
When it makes it's rounds in my head it is easy to brush it off.

I know I am worth more!
I know I am better than that!
I know that I don't need porn as a crutch to help me cope with things in my live!!!
I know to PMO is a bad excuse for my shortcomings and that I can deal with those in far more constructive ways!!!

To all who encouraged during the difficult times, you will always be remembered!
Words of encouragement.
Private messages.
All these helped in a time when I thought that it is not worth the effort.
Today I can say to all that struggle and are thinking of giving up...

STAY STRONG THE LITTLE EFFORT YOU HAVE TO PUT IN TO BE PMO FREE, IS FAR LESS THAN THE REWARD!!!

I need to also thank my Heavenly Father for the strength He gave me and the privilege of prayer and the power that it gave in strengthening my faith and efforts!

As always...

Stay strong and receive the Blessings!!!

 

[Gracie]

Glad you are doing well.  Congrats on your continued success.  My husband and I are doing quite well also.  This shows it can be done!  YAY!