metal22 said:
*sigh*
We had a down day today. Stress has been getting into my life and I haven't been handling it very well. I had gotten the flu when I got back from that job out of town, I needed to get a bunch of things down on the house, and I was behind on the biz. But basically I worked my tail off while being sick, and that of course causes stress. I didn't work on letting it go, instead I bottled it like my old self, and let it brew. Well it made my attitude suck more and more and today it came to a head. I upset her greatly on her last day as a coach which I feel bad about, plus tonight we are supposed to eat dinner at a friends house with people that I had FB issues with. I guess my stress let me blow over that so I never really gave it a thought.
I really need to work on letting this stress go. I think trying to find the root cause of my ED and not finding it just made things compile as well. SHe suggested that I just work on letting it go, just releasing the stress. Great suggestion, now I just need to do it. I will start working on that daily, and I'd bet the rest of the crappy parts of my personality will disappear as well. When my stress is low I feel stronger in my willpower, and my attitude is a dramatic improvement across the board. Plus I'm a attentive healing PA husband caring about his SO's recovery as well.
Hey Metal, sorry to hear things are down at the moment. Releasing stress is super important. People often refuse to acknowledge their stress and try to power their way past it but in reality they don't - it releases in our interactions with people, and unfortunately that means our nearest and dearest cop it. I think the biggest mistake people make is in thinking that doing more work will relieve the stress - after all, that is what we perceive to be the problem, that we haven't completed our work. But really it doesn't work that way. The stress will only build if you keep yourself in the same environment and mindset that caused it. Even completing every single task on your list won't relieve the stress that comes with constant immersion in a stressful state. So the only relief is to get out of that space for a while. That means going for a walk, a ride, doing something physical. Hit some golf balls at a driving range. Go bowling. That sort of thing. Even though it seems like it's wasting time, you get a stress circuit-breaker which allows you to work more efficiently, harmoniously and at a higher level of quality than if you had not taken that break. It also stops you wasting time on petty arguments with your partner. Managing this requires a good level of self-knowledge so that you always know when to take breaks in order to maintain your equilibrium. I think we all could improve in terms of managing our moods and work/relaxation balance.
Regarding your ED: Is it still as bad, or nearly as bad as when you were using porn? If so, how's your general health? Have you had a thorough check up with your doctor lately? There's a lot they can look into with regard to health issues that impact ED. You might have low testosterone, high cortisol, high/low blood pressure, early stage diabetes, vitamin deficiencies, a thyroid problem, early stage cardio vascular blockages (I assume you don't smoke?). All of these should be ruled out as soon as possible, because they can be very damaging if left untreated. With treatment most of it can be reversed or at least managed. Even people with low body fat, apparently good health can carry conditions that they are unaware of. So if you have't had a full check up, I really think you should. Generally the "flatspot" that many rebooters experience doesn't last for more than 6 months after quitting P - although I have heard of the odd case that took this long. So it's worth checking this out. If for nothing else, you must have a fair bit of anxiety about ED - and that doesn't help with performance anxiety.
Try to look at the bigger picture when stress is building - think about what you know about good health and sensible life balance. Try to work to those principles rather than just barging your way through.
Good luck mate!
