Fappy
Respected Member
no fuckin way! let the little bitch starve to death.It wants P and I ain't giving it P.
no fuckin way! let the little bitch starve to death.It wants P and I ain't giving it P.
Damn, I know how this is. Sometimes I have those euphoric episodes as if I'm bipolar or something. And I don't take any medicine. Today I wanted to wake up at 8 P.M and I was awake since 6:20.Short note: Woke up one hour before alarm and couldn't sleep anymore this morning, now I'm lying awake since more than two hours feeling like my body just won't calm down, a bit like I took amphetamine. The whole day I felt kinda maniac. I will have to have an eye on this, it worries me a bit at the moment. Going toctalk to my therapist aboutcthat on friday for sure. Maybe I should take less of my meds (bupropion, which is an amphetamin), or my brain just isn't used to happiness that it totally overreacts. Had really good experiences the last days, met many people and yesterday a girl that was way beyond my level flirted with me, what really gave me a boost to my confidence.
I'll try going down with the bupropion from 300mg to 150 at least for some days at the risk of my mood going down. If it goes down too deep I'll go up to 300 again.
PS: I was jogging with a sprint in between today, meditated before bed (in which I could relax very good) and drank a sleeping tea.
You know, we might feel like the brain is against us, it tries to take us down or something but the way I see it is our brain actually wanting to help us. What do I mean by this? The reptilian brain does things for survival and it got hijacked by an unhealthy survival skill in our porn use. In time, after staying away from porn, it will understand that it won't get that dopamine anymore and it will change. But until then we must stay away from porn completely, including the porn from our memory.Yeah, I also have P dreams these nights. I am on my day 38 and I have dreams of P every other night. I sometimes yell at my brain "WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU WORKING AGAINST ME!". It wants P and I ain't giving it P.
Yes, your right, for a guy in the stone ages it woukd make perfect sense to mate when the opportunity is there and therefore our brain giving us dopamin spikes. Brain just doesn't get that fapping to pixels isn't really helping with the survival of the species =DYou know, we might feel like the brain is against us, it tries to take us down or something but the way I see it is our brain actually wanting to help us. What do I mean by this? The reptilian brain does things for survival and it got hijacked by an unhealthy survival skill in our porn use. In time, after staying away from porn, it will understand that it won't get that dopamine anymore and it will change. But until then we must stay away from porn completely, including the porn from our memory.
That's right. At a survival level, the brain of a porn addict thinks he is super successful because he mates all day but the brain doesn't know that all he does is jerk off to pixels and he feels like a loser. Nothing prepared us for what's happening, the brain can't keep up with all this porn shit. For now all we can do is quit watching. We can't dry the ocean but we can get out of the ocean.Yes, your right, for a guy in the stone ages it woukd make perfect sense to mate when the opportunity is there and therefore our brain giving us dopamin spikes. Brain just doesn't get that fapping to pixels isn't really helping with the survival of the species =D
Our brains are just not used to the ever-present stimulation we have in the modern world...
Yeah, this is the problem with living in a modern world with parts of our brain being evolved for life in stone age. Sometimes I feel we are sort of half baked species. Our environment have evolved faster than how our brains can evolve.Yes, your right, for a guy in the stone ages it woukd make perfect sense to mate when the opportunity is there and therefore our brain giving us dopamin spikes. Brain just doesn't get that fapping to pixels isn't really helping with the survival of the species =D
Our brains are just not used to the ever-present stimulation we have in the modern world...
Hell yeah!Still everything going great in general. Close to 3 months. But loneliness is still a major problem and not fapping does increase the need and longing for intimacy. That's great objectively, because it's just so important for my next relationship and my need for social interaction in general, but subjectively it's really hard and makes contact with woman hard because I see them as potential partners all the time which is really not helping at all. The good thing is, that I'm quite certain that I can find a partner now when I continue this path and work on myself, mostly when it comes to social anxiety. At the same time I often feel so alienated...people living their normal lifes with normal interests and then there is me, with my life-long story of severe mental health issues, drug and alcohol addiction, porn etc. I really want to belong to the normal people, but I don't know if I can fit in. This really bothers me.
Although quitting porn brought me closer to that goal undeniably.
But what really holds me back is that I'm still not sure about wether I am good for a woman or if they wouldn't be better off without me maybe.
There is still a long way to go and I have to patient with myself.
Definitely! I have felt in bad moods before and that I didn't have the will or energy to go out and get some fresh air and exercise to find that upon actually getting outside it changed my mood completely. It's easy to stay inside with your depression and not even realize that even though you thought that exercise wouldn't be the cure, it flips your whole attitude around as soon as you get some.Well done for going kickboxing. Exercise is a great way to improve your mood and stay on the right track. Healthy body, healthy mind, as they say.