searching4good
Active Member
Xmas day today and another day without PMO. I've been thinking about whether this is day 2 of this latest stretch of simply another clean day in the bank... Of course it's both, but in some ways it helps thinking it's the latter, with there being less pressure somehow attached to it. It's kind of like... If I want a future without PMO, then does it matter if it's day 2 or day 200. Yes and no, but right now I'm not feeling a need to go with overt day counters and that's absolutely fine. I'm going to embrace it and see how it works out.
Today brought a few fleeting moments of sadness and negative voices in my head about certain things (e.g. how I look, how I weigh up against others) but those passed eventually and lighter feelings replaced them. I think this is going to be a bit of a cycle but the most important thing is that I don't try to medicate them with P but, instead, acknowledge and process their existence. That side of things is going to go hand in hand with my recovery and it's going to be a lifetime's work to get the inner me to be kinder.
For now, I'm acknowledging a good 24 hours. I'm also grateful for going into tomorrow with an amazing opportunity to build on it with a little more.
Today brought a few fleeting moments of sadness and negative voices in my head about certain things (e.g. how I look, how I weigh up against others) but those passed eventually and lighter feelings replaced them. I think this is going to be a bit of a cycle but the most important thing is that I don't try to medicate them with P but, instead, acknowledge and process their existence. That side of things is going to go hand in hand with my recovery and it's going to be a lifetime's work to get the inner me to be kinder.
For now, I'm acknowledging a good 24 hours. I'm also grateful for going into tomorrow with an amazing opportunity to build on it with a little more.