My CSB Journal
- Thread starter Jverhoye
- Start date
fcjl8
Active Member
Yeah, Hockey. Hmmm our local heroes the esteemed Toronto Maple Leafs have won a single Stanley Cup in my lifetime! 47 years since their last! They have only made the playoffs once in the last 8 years and make more revenue then the next 3 top earning teams combined go figure! Toronto is a city of masochists!
Their NBA sister team the raptors are having a bit of a breakout season albeit in the weak east!
Their NBA sister team the raptors are having a bit of a breakout season albeit in the weak east!
Jverhoye
Active Member
Thanks, Viper! I am lucky that my wife enjoys going to the club. We help motivate one another! Historically, tonight would have been prime PMO time. She is out with a friend and my plans to get together with my friends fell through. Smartly I did not have the couple beers I was contemplating, which also historically played into my PMO. I don't know about others, but alcohol can lead me toward PMO if I have more than 1 or 2, especially if I'm home alone.
Jverhoye
Active Member
The weather here has been spectacular the past couple of days. We took a nice drive down to see our youngest at college. It was a great day, but work stress is building. I need to continue healthy patterns of working out, eating well, and getting enough sleep. Historically, with great weather, less clothing being worn, and work stress, this was a recipe for PMO. I need to stay vigilant, which I plan on. Have a great weekend everyone!
@ Jverhoye
I know exactly what you mean. During my reboot I developed a new found love for the outdoors and actually prefer to walk to places instead of drive if they are not to far. One of my favorite things to do during my reboot was to take a book with me to a park and read and journal.
The weather here in Dallas has been amazing the last few days as well. Enjoy the rest of the weekend my man.
I know exactly what you mean. During my reboot I developed a new found love for the outdoors and actually prefer to walk to places instead of drive if they are not to far. One of my favorite things to do during my reboot was to take a book with me to a park and read and journal.
The weather here in Dallas has been amazing the last few days as well. Enjoy the rest of the weekend my man.
F
Freethinker
Guest
JV,
Lots of positive energy coming from you these days. It sounds like life is going well and that you're happy.
Soak it up!
Lots of positive energy coming from you these days. It sounds like life is going well and that you're happy.
Soak it up!
Jverhoye
Active Member
Thanks, FT! Life is good right now, and I want to continue being on a good path. I have lots of support in my life, including this awesome Forum. I don't take any of it for granted and I'm also wise enough to know I need to stay vigilant in my recovery. There are still challenges and triggers that come up regularly. I also know how different my brain has become being PMO-free and I hope and pray for all those fighting for personal freedom and health.
somethingelse
Member
Jverhoye said:
^That is how it's supposed to be. I thank you for your prayers for our fellow addicts, definitely a firm believer in their potency. I hope the days brighten out for you, my good man.
Jverhoye
Active Member
So I wanted to continue sharing some of the work I've done during my Recovery. This is pretty long, but it was a culmination of a lot of self-examination. This is a document that lays out the Problematic Core Beliefs and the ensuing thoughts and behaviors that historically were the essence of my PMO acting out behavior, followed by the Off Ramps of Sobriety. I would appreciate any feedback:
Problematic Core Beliefs
I need everyone to like me, because if they don?t then I?m a failure.
I need to make sure there is ?peace? in the house, because I can?t feel anxious.
I need to avoid conflict, because conflict is bad and leads to bad things?like anxiety.
I shouldn?t say ?no? to requests, because people won?t like me?
I can?t bring up uncomfortable topics, because I don?t know how to do it and it will lead to conflict.
I can?t accept advice, because that will show I?m not smart
I can?t express anger, because I don?t know how to do it without turning it into sadness (crying).
Others? needs come before mine, because I don?t want others to see me as selfish. (I can?t acknowledge my needs, because I?ll look selfish.)
How do I go from Problematic Core Beliefs to Acting Out?
Pressure builds from:
Taking on too much.
Feeling overwhelmed.
Getting worn out?physically, emotionally, mentally
Fear of being disliked.
Fear of failing.
Failing at a project, chore, assignment, task.
Failing to acknowledge my needs.
Engaging in a ?conflict ritual?
A disharmonious household.
Emotions reach a breaking point:
Taking on too much. (ANXIETY, STRESS)
Feeling overwhelmed. (STRESS)
Getting worn out?physically, emotionally, mentally (STRESS)
Fear of being disliked. (FEAR, UNHAPPINESS)
Fear of failing. (FEAR)
Failing a project, chore, assignment, task. (SHAME, DISAPPOINTMENT, FRUSTRATION)
Failing to acknowledge my needs. (ANXIETY)
Engaging in a ?conflict ritual? (ANXIETY, SHAME, FRUSTRATION)
A disharmonious household. (AGITATION, ANXIETY, SHAME, FRUSTRATION)
How do I stop the ?train? and change course?
OFF RAMPS:
Change ?self-talk?
I need to raise my self-awareness of the current reality??I?m not ok at the moment.?
I am in trouble and need to acknowledge what?s happening??I need help.?
?It?s ok if someone doesn?t like me.?
?It?s ok if there isn?t peace in the house.?
?I can manage conflict in a healthy way?I have the skills.?
?I can say ?no? to requests and maintain good boundaries.?
?I can bring up uncomfortable topics.?
?I can accept advice and am open to feedback.?
?I can feel and express anger appropriately.?
?I can acknowledge my needs.?
?I can express my needs.?
Change Behavior
Slow down and breathe
Take a ?time-out? from what I?m doing
Go for a walk
Go work out
Text a friend
Call a friend
Meet a friend for dinner, drinks, etc.
Stay away from unlocked technology
Go to a ?group? session
See a professional
Problematic Core Beliefs
I need everyone to like me, because if they don?t then I?m a failure.
I need to make sure there is ?peace? in the house, because I can?t feel anxious.
I need to avoid conflict, because conflict is bad and leads to bad things?like anxiety.
I shouldn?t say ?no? to requests, because people won?t like me?
I can?t bring up uncomfortable topics, because I don?t know how to do it and it will lead to conflict.
I can?t accept advice, because that will show I?m not smart
I can?t express anger, because I don?t know how to do it without turning it into sadness (crying).
Others? needs come before mine, because I don?t want others to see me as selfish. (I can?t acknowledge my needs, because I?ll look selfish.)
How do I go from Problematic Core Beliefs to Acting Out?
Pressure builds from:
Taking on too much.
Feeling overwhelmed.
Getting worn out?physically, emotionally, mentally
Fear of being disliked.
Fear of failing.
Failing at a project, chore, assignment, task.
Failing to acknowledge my needs.
Engaging in a ?conflict ritual?
A disharmonious household.
Emotions reach a breaking point:
Taking on too much. (ANXIETY, STRESS)
Feeling overwhelmed. (STRESS)
Getting worn out?physically, emotionally, mentally (STRESS)
Fear of being disliked. (FEAR, UNHAPPINESS)
Fear of failing. (FEAR)
Failing a project, chore, assignment, task. (SHAME, DISAPPOINTMENT, FRUSTRATION)
Failing to acknowledge my needs. (ANXIETY)
Engaging in a ?conflict ritual? (ANXIETY, SHAME, FRUSTRATION)
A disharmonious household. (AGITATION, ANXIETY, SHAME, FRUSTRATION)
How do I stop the ?train? and change course?
OFF RAMPS:
Change ?self-talk?
I need to raise my self-awareness of the current reality??I?m not ok at the moment.?
I am in trouble and need to acknowledge what?s happening??I need help.?
?It?s ok if someone doesn?t like me.?
?It?s ok if there isn?t peace in the house.?
?I can manage conflict in a healthy way?I have the skills.?
?I can say ?no? to requests and maintain good boundaries.?
?I can bring up uncomfortable topics.?
?I can accept advice and am open to feedback.?
?I can feel and express anger appropriately.?
?I can acknowledge my needs.?
?I can express my needs.?
Change Behavior
Slow down and breathe
Take a ?time-out? from what I?m doing
Go for a walk
Go work out
Text a friend
Call a friend
Meet a friend for dinner, drinks, etc.
Stay away from unlocked technology
Go to a ?group? session
See a professional