Five year no PMO journey
- Thread starter jjacks
- Start date
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Andyuk
Guest
I agree about being vigilant...Day 4 here of a 'now or never' PMO free.
Just reading the paper and seeing holiday ads with scantily clad women twitched my brain into ' go look at porn,it's not so bad!'
I just shut the paper and went for a shower.
The old me may have been sucked in.
Stay strong folks.
Just reading the paper and seeing holiday ads with scantily clad women twitched my brain into ' go look at porn,it's not so bad!'
I just shut the paper and went for a shower.
The old me may have been sucked in.
Stay strong folks.
Day 49 no MO, day 91 no PMO
Made it to three months. Starting to wake up with morning wood almost every day. Recuperated some endurance during sex - I hope there is more to come. It's all good.
It has not been easy fighting the temptation but it seems to be getting a bit easier and the persistence has its rewards.
Made it to three months. Starting to wake up with morning wood almost every day. Recuperated some endurance during sex - I hope there is more to come. It's all good.
It has not been easy fighting the temptation but it seems to be getting a bit easier and the persistence has its rewards.
Today I turned 68 years old and 114 days with no PMO. I thought this would be a good time to reflect on this short journey.
It was only 10 years ago that I first saw any porn and discovered the power of combining that with high speed internet and pants down. As my wife?s libido slowed down, I saw MO and PMO as a way to ?keep the plumbing operational and healthy?. Instead, the opposite happened as PIED and performance anxiety gradually took over.
By last fall and I could hardly achieve an erection, or, if I did, it didn?t last long enough for intercourse. I was seriously considering talking to my doctor about getting some prescription help. The anxiety of not being able to perform became self-fulfilling and even masturbation was no longer working. My wife was sympathetic to my declining performance but she had no notion of why this was happening. I suspect she thought that is normal for a guy in his late 60s.
Somehow I stumbled on this site last fall. After 10 solid years of regular PMO, I decided to eliminate all the triggers I could control (even physically cutting off the cord on my webcam). The struggle began. Slowly and surely, signs of normal functioning began to return ? morning woods after a month and successful intercourse a month later. Even my wife has rediscovered a certain desire for sex as my performance has begun improving. And, of course, my productivity has improved enormously as well since I just do not waste all that time anymore. I continue fighting the temptation to relapse ? the urges still tempt me when I am alone in the house ? but I have to resist them ? it seems to be getting a bit easier over time. And the prize is worth it.
I read the journals and posted regularly at the beginning and received a lot of feedback. The support from the guys here has been tremendous ? you have kept me on track when I felt so much like straying. While this might all sound like pride, I am writing now to encourage others to stick with the program, that the promised outcomes are, indeed, possible.
It?s not finished for me; it may never be. I need to fight those alone moments and work on my sexual endurance and allow these new habits to carve their patterns into my brain. But, with your help, I have begun to turn this thing around and I hope I can help others as you have helped me. Many thanks.
-JJ
It was only 10 years ago that I first saw any porn and discovered the power of combining that with high speed internet and pants down. As my wife?s libido slowed down, I saw MO and PMO as a way to ?keep the plumbing operational and healthy?. Instead, the opposite happened as PIED and performance anxiety gradually took over.
By last fall and I could hardly achieve an erection, or, if I did, it didn?t last long enough for intercourse. I was seriously considering talking to my doctor about getting some prescription help. The anxiety of not being able to perform became self-fulfilling and even masturbation was no longer working. My wife was sympathetic to my declining performance but she had no notion of why this was happening. I suspect she thought that is normal for a guy in his late 60s.
Somehow I stumbled on this site last fall. After 10 solid years of regular PMO, I decided to eliminate all the triggers I could control (even physically cutting off the cord on my webcam). The struggle began. Slowly and surely, signs of normal functioning began to return ? morning woods after a month and successful intercourse a month later. Even my wife has rediscovered a certain desire for sex as my performance has begun improving. And, of course, my productivity has improved enormously as well since I just do not waste all that time anymore. I continue fighting the temptation to relapse ? the urges still tempt me when I am alone in the house ? but I have to resist them ? it seems to be getting a bit easier over time. And the prize is worth it.
I read the journals and posted regularly at the beginning and received a lot of feedback. The support from the guys here has been tremendous ? you have kept me on track when I felt so much like straying. While this might all sound like pride, I am writing now to encourage others to stick with the program, that the promised outcomes are, indeed, possible.
It?s not finished for me; it may never be. I need to fight those alone moments and work on my sexual endurance and allow these new habits to carve their patterns into my brain. But, with your help, I have begun to turn this thing around and I hope I can help others as you have helped me. Many thanks.
-JJ
Firstbigstep
Active Member
JJacks,
That's a fantastic and inspiring update. It gives so much hope to those of us less far along the path of both recovery and life in general.
Happy birthday and thank you for being one of the beacons of light here - I, for one really appreciate it.
That's a fantastic and inspiring update. It gives so much hope to those of us less far along the path of both recovery and life in general.
Happy birthday and thank you for being one of the beacons of light here - I, for one really appreciate it.
Mr. J, we are an older couple as well. I too had increased interest in sex with my husband as we healed together. One thing you should note is that while using porn, your wife becomes the sexual outlet of last resort. The way an addict makes love is different and we can tell. Imagine being a woman in her 50s or 60s , how can you compete with what you husband wants sexually? We cant turn back the clock. And we feel all the looks you give the young bodies that have not yet lived life. We thought as we aged with our husbands that our aging and time tested bodies (both husband and wife) would be enough for one another because of our love and life. Once the porn outlet was not available or chosen any more, my husband became more attentive to me and what turned me on. That is a big kick in the pants for libido. Please know, you may think nothing showed and you were the same, but we wives know. We may not know why or what but we know something is off. Good for you for changing.
Glad to hear your take on it, Grace. A strong message.
Our lives have been full of changes, some predictable (menopause, empty nesting) and some not (cancer, chemotherapy, change of job or social circle). These have all affected us in the last couple of decades and we dealt with them in a number of ways, separately and together.
Of course it showed. For both of us. But we overcame it all, except this last thing (PIED) which surprised he heck out of me when I realized what I was doing and how it had changed me. I am glad to see it in the rear view mirror. It will always be there - an addict is an addict - a tough lesson learned.
Our lives have been full of changes, some predictable (menopause, empty nesting) and some not (cancer, chemotherapy, change of job or social circle). These have all affected us in the last couple of decades and we dealt with them in a number of ways, separately and together.
Of course it showed. For both of us. But we overcame it all, except this last thing (PIED) which surprised he heck out of me when I realized what I was doing and how it had changed me. I am glad to see it in the rear view mirror. It will always be there - an addict is an addict - a tough lesson learned.
workinprogressUK
Well-Known Member
Inspirational, jjacks. Thanks for that. More power to you.
Day 202 no PMO.
The urge to stray still intrudes into my brain from time to time but strong will and regular visits to this site have kept me above it. Like any addiction, once hooked you always have to be vigilant and fight the urges - as an ex-smoker I know that to be true.
The healing continues and I am thrilled that my manhood seems to be functioning like I only knew as a distant memory 202 days ago. At 68 years old, I am having sex and morning woods like when I was 40.
Whoever reads this, stick with the program - you will be glad you did.
-JJ
The urge to stray still intrudes into my brain from time to time but strong will and regular visits to this site have kept me above it. Like any addiction, once hooked you always have to be vigilant and fight the urges - as an ex-smoker I know that to be true.
The healing continues and I am thrilled that my manhood seems to be functioning like I only knew as a distant memory 202 days ago. At 68 years old, I am having sex and morning woods like when I was 40.
Whoever reads this, stick with the program - you will be glad you did.
-JJ
guyinsideout
Member
Thanks for the inspiration JJ! 202 days, that's an outstanding accomplishment, keep up the great work!
olafthewise
Active Member
I don't frequent this site too much. Ok, here's a suggestion, among many. Try and not think about flowers. Try now. Look through your garden magazines, go out front of your house and continue NOT thinking of flowers. Got the hint? Again, just a suggestion. I propose a new thought. Put another exciting thing in your brain. Sci-fi stuff, or spy movies or model cars...race cars! Some stimulating thing to put in place of the thing you are NOT trying to think of.
Just a thought.
Just a thought.
Day 237 no PMO.
Just dropped by to say hello. Hanging in there - the temptation slowly dissipates but hasn't entirely disappeared. It gets so much easier, though, over time.
All my normal functionality is back, and as good as ever, perhaps even better than I remember.
Keep at it, guys, it works!
-jj
Just dropped by to say hello. Hanging in there - the temptation slowly dissipates but hasn't entirely disappeared. It gets so much easier, though, over time.
All my normal functionality is back, and as good as ever, perhaps even better than I remember.
Keep at it, guys, it works!
-jj
Day 321 no PMO. Morning woods regularly, good and satisfying, lasting sex ... the program works, and at 68 years old, too. Even the need to MO once in a while "in between" is dissipating as I keep rediscovering increasing satisfaction with the missus.
Stick with the program ... this should your normal, too.
Stick with the program ... this should your normal, too.
lyon03
Respected Member
Congrats my friend. You're an inspiration...and closing in on a year porn-free. Well done. I agree with what you shared about MO (masturbation/orgasm or just masturbation). Sex with a loving partner is like IMAX whereas MO is just sad, flat 2-d cinema. I struggled with masturbation for about the first year of reboot. Now I MO about 5-6 times a year and every time I have the same reaction, "Man that was boring." Why? Because there is no eye contact, nor smiles, nor shared laughter when I'm fapping alone. Great points. I look forward to your next post. Be well. PORN (AND MO) ARE NOT OPTIONS.
Thanks, lyon03. It's guys like you who have inspired me to keep at it. I like the IMAX metaphor - the core of climax, perhaps?
I agree that even the occasional MO is usually a letdown. But I don't sweat it - it happens, a little extra soap in the shower, we all know the rest. Maybe at early puberty is was great, but years later, there is more satisfaction in a good crap
.
Apart from the IMAX success, of course, I have such joy in spontaneous erections - they make me smile, especially when they wake me up in the morning, as a reminder of that wonderful thing that is manhood. Huge rewards.
-jj
I agree that even the occasional MO is usually a letdown. But I don't sweat it - it happens, a little extra soap in the shower, we all know the rest. Maybe at early puberty is was great, but years later, there is more satisfaction in a good crap
.Apart from the IMAX success, of course, I have such joy in spontaneous erections - they make me smile, especially when they wake me up in the morning, as a reminder of that wonderful thing that is manhood. Huge rewards.
-jj