M
Mart71
Guest
The working week is slowly coming to an end now. After this weekend, my gf needs to return to her country and the parting already clouds our final days. She has been depressed about it yesterday and even cried in the night. She has obligations that won't allow her to come here for three months and I can only visit her once in a while. It will be a tough time and a test of our relationship. Being apart has always been very hard and caused problems. I'll do my best to get us through this time.
I shall follow the advise here
http://jamesrusselllingerfelt.wordpress.com/2013/08/15/beautiful-advice-from-a-divorced-man-after-16-years-of-marriage/
and here
http://www.reuniting.info/lazy_way_to_stay_in_love
as much as it is possible, when we are apart.
I shall follow the advise here
http://jamesrusselllingerfelt.wordpress.com/2013/08/15/beautiful-advice-from-a-divorced-man-after-16-years-of-marriage/
and here
http://www.reuniting.info/lazy_way_to_stay_in_love
as much as it is possible, when we are apart.
M
Mart71
Guest
Thanks LTE. I never want to go back to porn or even MO on a regular basis. I really have to keep in mind, that I want to stay with the real thing and not give in to temporary urges.
Gf was able to stay for another week, which makes me super happy. But after this week, she will really have to go.
Gf was able to stay for another week, which makes me super happy. But after this week, she will really have to go.
savingmysoul
Active Member
Hi Mart,
Congrats on your success. I have also stopped all P & M for the last 4 months.
I too suffer from PIED, I am rebooting with my wife, and we have had good moments and not so good moments. After 4 months, i am not sure if i feel on the road to better days or sliding back. Some days (usually mornings) i have no issues, but at night not so good. Sometimes it takes an effort from my wife to get me moving along. I have not used any ED drugs, and do not plan to. Did you experience ups and downs after several months? I long for the day when i can make out with my wife, or cuddle and caress and get solid on my own, quickly.
At what point were you able to say yes, i have seen consistant improvement?
Stay strong!
Congrats on your success. I have also stopped all P & M for the last 4 months.
I too suffer from PIED, I am rebooting with my wife, and we have had good moments and not so good moments. After 4 months, i am not sure if i feel on the road to better days or sliding back. Some days (usually mornings) i have no issues, but at night not so good. Sometimes it takes an effort from my wife to get me moving along. I have not used any ED drugs, and do not plan to. Did you experience ups and downs after several months? I long for the day when i can make out with my wife, or cuddle and caress and get solid on my own, quickly.
At what point were you able to say yes, i have seen consistant improvement?
Stay strong!
M
Mart71
Guest
Hi savingmysoul,
if I remember correctly, it went something like this:
1st month november - flatline, sex only works in a forced way and with lots of ED drugs. Strong PE
2nd month december - coming out of flatline, orgasm would kill my libido for several days, hardly any sensitivity, erections don't last even with ED drugs. Strong PE
3rd month january - some days are good, some are bad. Sometimes unable to get an erection. EQ varies. Strong PE
4th month february - more days are good than bad now. Erections are stabilizing. PE getting better
5th month march - Erections come without fail. Sensitivity gets better. Refraction period shortens. Libido is improving. EQ & PE getting better.
6th month april - Slowly starting to taper off the ED drugs. Getting erections is not a problem any more. EQ often very good. PE gone
So thinking back, I would say in my case around the 4th month my body started to stabilize and very good progress was made in the 5th and 6th. This is all using ED drugs.
I would expect a reboot without ED drugs cheating to last longer, since the lacking boost of confidence from ED drugs is probably holding one back in that case. Not having to worry about performance during the good 5th and 6th months made a big difference to me, since I started to change my mindset from "I hope it will work" to "I can have sex, whenever I want".
if I remember correctly, it went something like this:
1st month november - flatline, sex only works in a forced way and with lots of ED drugs. Strong PE
2nd month december - coming out of flatline, orgasm would kill my libido for several days, hardly any sensitivity, erections don't last even with ED drugs. Strong PE
3rd month january - some days are good, some are bad. Sometimes unable to get an erection. EQ varies. Strong PE
4th month february - more days are good than bad now. Erections are stabilizing. PE getting better
5th month march - Erections come without fail. Sensitivity gets better. Refraction period shortens. Libido is improving. EQ & PE getting better.
6th month april - Slowly starting to taper off the ED drugs. Getting erections is not a problem any more. EQ often very good. PE gone
So thinking back, I would say in my case around the 4th month my body started to stabilize and very good progress was made in the 5th and 6th. This is all using ED drugs.
I would expect a reboot without ED drugs cheating to last longer, since the lacking boost of confidence from ED drugs is probably holding one back in that case. Not having to worry about performance during the good 5th and 6th months made a big difference to me, since I started to change my mindset from "I hope it will work" to "I can have sex, whenever I want".
P
Pi
Guest
Hi Mart, Just read through your journal. I appreciate your positive outlook and even though our situations are quite different, it's helpful for me to read about someone who is "doing this". Keep going and keep writing.
M
Mart71
Guest
Hi Pi,
thank you for your kind words! I really want to keep posting here, especially now that I am doing good in my recovery. I keep being wary of overconfidence and by being here, it helps me stay a bit humble. I am proud of my progress so far, but a relapse is always just a few clicks away.
thank you for your kind words! I really want to keep posting here, especially now that I am doing good in my recovery. I keep being wary of overconfidence and by being here, it helps me stay a bit humble. I am proud of my progress so far, but a relapse is always just a few clicks away.
savingmysoul
Active Member
Thanks Mart for your response.
I am at 4 months today, and I want to say i feel that i am stabilizing to some degree, at least mentally. I don't feel that i have ever flatlined or lost my libido. I have always wanted to be with my wife - even when things didnt work right. The issue for me was being afraid to fail, and disappoint her. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and anguish i continue to pile on to her. Realizing that i needed to change my perception, that i can be successful and continue to work through this, has been a small breakthrough.
i am looking forward to continued success and stability both physically and mentally for the 5th month.
thanks again - stay strong!
I am at 4 months today, and I want to say i feel that i am stabilizing to some degree, at least mentally. I don't feel that i have ever flatlined or lost my libido. I have always wanted to be with my wife - even when things didnt work right. The issue for me was being afraid to fail, and disappoint her. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and anguish i continue to pile on to her. Realizing that i needed to change my perception, that i can be successful and continue to work through this, has been a small breakthrough.
i am looking forward to continued success and stability both physically and mentally for the 5th month.
thanks again - stay strong!
M
Mart71
Guest
Girlfriend flew home earlier today, we will meet again in three weeks. So it's a three weeks no-fap challenge for me.
In matters regarding to P.I.ED, I was a bit too passionate and allowed myself to have two orgasms in just 12 hours (one in the evening, one in the morning). Which sent my libido into a flatline for three days now - meaning after the second O I hardly had any desire for sex. 200 days without porn and still problems like that.....
But at least I can confirm, that those in recovery from P.I.ED should often really cut down O's - it is true for me as well. But things work very well, as long as I don't burn myself out by them. And it is only through communities like RN that I even know about the potential benefits of limiting O's - otherwise I wouldn't know what goes on and just think I am asexual or have severe ED problems. So - again, I am really thankful.
Two days of work ahead of me now - and then I will see my family over the weekend, celebrating my mom's birthday and mother's day. Which she has on the same day...
In matters regarding to P.I.ED, I was a bit too passionate and allowed myself to have two orgasms in just 12 hours (one in the evening, one in the morning). Which sent my libido into a flatline for three days now - meaning after the second O I hardly had any desire for sex. 200 days without porn and still problems like that.....
But at least I can confirm, that those in recovery from P.I.ED should often really cut down O's - it is true for me as well. But things work very well, as long as I don't burn myself out by them. And it is only through communities like RN that I even know about the potential benefits of limiting O's - otherwise I wouldn't know what goes on and just think I am asexual or have severe ED problems. So - again, I am really thankful.
Two days of work ahead of me now - and then I will see my family over the weekend, celebrating my mom's birthday and mother's day. Which she has on the same day...
M
Mart71
Guest
Libido is still very low, though my overall feeling is good.
Gf returned to my surprise, since her plans changed. She is having serious issues to deal with atm, so we are taking a break from sex, though not from intimacy and keep doing lots of cuddling and being close.
During my reboot, I didn't do any exercice. I started weight training at the beginning of last year and did running/jogging the year before that. But I stopped both activities before the reboot for various reasons:
- stopped running because of injuries that were a result of running (inflamations etc.)
- stopped going to the gym for weightlifting, as I got too annoyed with them only having one useful squatrack It is always being used and I ended up having to wait too long for that one station to be free. Seeing as I only made progress with free barbell exercices and not on their "machines", it was time to give up on that gym. It was too bad, since after months of balancing on Swiss balls and doing exercices that gave me no results, I started loving the big compound movements and made actual progress.
It is now time to resume training. I will run again, but will focus much more on sprinting and HIIT instead of middle distance running/jogging, which my body has a hard time handling.
Also my new house has a nice basement, where I can do weightlifting just as I please. I will finally order a power rack and a barbell set this week and am really looking foward to start lifting again. I considered going to another gym which better suits my training, but I think training at home will fit my lifestyle better.
Gf returned to my surprise, since her plans changed. She is having serious issues to deal with atm, so we are taking a break from sex, though not from intimacy and keep doing lots of cuddling and being close.
During my reboot, I didn't do any exercice. I started weight training at the beginning of last year and did running/jogging the year before that. But I stopped both activities before the reboot for various reasons:
- stopped running because of injuries that were a result of running (inflamations etc.)
- stopped going to the gym for weightlifting, as I got too annoyed with them only having one useful squatrack It is always being used and I ended up having to wait too long for that one station to be free. Seeing as I only made progress with free barbell exercices and not on their "machines", it was time to give up on that gym. It was too bad, since after months of balancing on Swiss balls and doing exercices that gave me no results, I started loving the big compound movements and made actual progress.
It is now time to resume training. I will run again, but will focus much more on sprinting and HIIT instead of middle distance running/jogging, which my body has a hard time handling.
Also my new house has a nice basement, where I can do weightlifting just as I please. I will finally order a power rack and a barbell set this week and am really looking foward to start lifting again. I considered going to another gym which better suits my training, but I think training at home will fit my lifestyle better.
M
Mart71
Guest
Did some HIIT yesterday - 5 min. warmup and then 15 min. of all-out sprints & walking back. I hope my legs will not fall back into their old habit of getting injured like they did from steady state cardio running. Can't wait for my weight lifting training gear to arrive - I am jonesing for some work out after more than 6 months of break.
I will start with doing the 5&5 stronglift program, which I tried to start at the gym but stopped in the end because I got too frustrated with the gym. I'll start very slowly, because my back has some issues (from weak muscles I guess) but I CAN'T wait to start.
I will start with doing the 5&5 stronglift program, which I tried to start at the gym but stopped in the end because I got too frustrated with the gym. I'll start very slowly, because my back has some issues (from weak muscles I guess) but I CAN'T wait to start.
M
Mart71
Guest
Going through a messed up libido these days. Felt like a flatline not long ago, now this morning I got so horny that I had an embarrassing PE episode. That didn't happen in a long time....
Training gear will arrive in a few minutes. Too bad I am at work and will have to wait until this evening to set it up. Can't wait.
Training gear will arrive in a few minutes. Too bad I am at work and will have to wait until this evening to set it up. Can't wait.
M
Mart71
Guest
Celebrated 210 days/7 months of living a life without porn with my first weight lifting training session in my basement, after carrying all the gear to the house and down into the basement. Finally I am able to do the workouts as I like, when I like and without interruptions. I am really happy about that.
First workout was really fun - but I am starting the Stronglift 5X5 programm at the beginning, even though I already had some progress doing some of the lifts at my old gym. So that means, there isn't much of a challenge yet. But I guess that will come soon enough.
Now lets see, what resuming a regular workout will do for my porn addiction recovery- starting month no. 8 clean.
First workout was really fun - but I am starting the Stronglift 5X5 programm at the beginning, even though I already had some progress doing some of the lifts at my old gym. So that means, there isn't much of a challenge yet. But I guess that will come soon enough.
Now lets see, what resuming a regular workout will do for my porn addiction recovery- starting month no. 8 clean.
