Hello Gentlemen. Now we begin.

RJ64

Member
I just wanted to give this thread a bump. I followed it and I am using a lot of what William says to stay sober. William if you’re out there thank you buddy
 
I am here and there brother. It is OK. You will be just fine. There is nothing here that cannot be fixed. It's just time and effort. That has to be known going in, going forward. Time and effort. Easy is out there ahead of you. You need to put the time in. Fixing it takes time and comtitment. If you do that, It gets fixed. It gets easy. I promise you.

Much love.

W.
 

canguro

Active Member
Yoo, this post is super old!
When I read it I first thought "whait, Gabe is just three years clean? That sounds odd!". =D
 

RJ64

Member
I am here and there brother. It is OK. You will be just fine. There is nothing here that cannot be fixed. It's just time and effort. That has to be known going in, going forward. Time and effort. Easy is out there ahead of you. You need to put the time in. Fixing it takes time and comtitment. If you do that, It gets fixed. It gets easy. I promise you.

Much love.

W.
Hey good morning and merry Christmas William. I did not expect a direct response from you. Yes I am putting the time in. I have gone through years of trying and relapsing over and over and now is my time to be done with this for ever. Today is day 49 for me hard mode. I am definitely doing very well thanks to your post and other postings on this site and other sites. I find yours to be the most helpful. It’s great to see you still check in here and I didn’t think you would even be around judging by how old this thread is. Thank you once again for everything. I am really dialed in this time and I am done with PMO for good. I’m not quitting. I quit!
 
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Hi everyone I guess I am a newbie here, and this is the first time I have really put significant effort into quitting this addiction. I never post on forums of any kind, more of a 'lurker' type, so this is how serious I am about this. I'm on the verge of losing my wife. It's day one for me, really, I think I will need an accountability partner in this. How can I go about getting one? Is there a special thread for that purpose somewhere in this site? Please help when you get a chance.
 

Richard44

Member
Hi everyone I guess I am a newbie here, and this is the first time I have really put significant effort into quitting this addiction. I never post on forums of any kind, more of a 'lurker' type, so this is how serious I am about this. I'm on the verge of losing my wife. It's day one for me, really, I think I will need an accountability partner in this. How can I go about getting one? Is there a special thread for that purpose somewhere in this site? Please help when you get a chance.
Dude do not be LIKE ME (sorry caps)

You can read my thread if you want to see how sad, miserable, disgusted, angry this makes u feel. I am still devestated about losing her to this useless and disgusting addiction. I am a weak sad disgusting peace of shit for doing it. And i payed the biggest price there is, you can earn money but you can not buy loving/caring partner and that is what i had.

PMO is not worth losing you loved ones over. I was a retard and did not really know my ED/DE was caused by porn as the doctor told me that watching porn could help me get an erection and i was to lazy to investigate the net myself.

After my search on the net it was crystal clear my issues came from PMO, i had DE for ages and had to finish of myself. Now i have ED/PIED aswell. Always had to fantasise about pron during sex.

You though know your problem. Please not be like me.
 

RJ64

Member
Hi everyone I guess I am a newbie here, and this is the first time I have really put significant effort into quitting this addiction. I never post on forums of any kind, more of a 'lurker' type, so this is how serious I am about this. I'm on the verge of losing my wife. It's day one for me, really, I think I will need an accountability partner in this. How can I go about getting one? Is there a special thread for that purpose somewhere in this site? Please help when you get a chance.
Hey Nick, you came to the right post, go to page 1 and start reading Williams posts. You can’t go wrong. I’ve been following this thread and using it as a study guide since day one when I started. I’m on day 57 hard mode today. I have been using this thread and another thread as my main study sources. The biggest thing I can give you as advice would be to stop fantasizing in your head because as William says this addiction is above the waist not below it. When you shut down the fantasy machine it is so much easier. Anytime a bad thought enters your head get rid of it immediately. William covers how to go about this all throughout this thread. Get started and be done with this horrible addiction. I’m at day 57 and I can sit here and honestly say that I am done forever and I am really sure about that. You seem to want an accountability partner and I understand that but I have been in this addiction all my life for decades and anytime I’ve gone after a partner/sponsor it hasn’t worked out too well. My biggest thing I have been doing is studying every day and making myself more and more aware of what’s going on. Studying increases your awareness and makes you stronger. The best suggestion I could give you is to go to this forum and the no fap forum and read through the success stories. I only follow two main threads to study with this one that were on with William and the link I post below are two of the best that I found and are full of gold to help you get through this. Good luck and you can message me if you need someone to talk to.
Here is the link to the other thread.
 

RJ64

Member
Dude do not be LIKE ME (sorry caps)

You can read my thread if you want to see how sad, miserable, disgusted, angry this makes u feel. I am still devestated about losing her to this useless and disgusting addiction. I am a weak sad disgusting peace of shit for doing it. And i payed the biggest price there is, you can earn money but you can not buy loving/caring partner and that is what i had.

PMO is not worth losing you loved ones over. I was a retard and did not really know my ED/DE was caused by porn as the doctor told me that watching porn could help me get an erection and i was to lazy to investigate the net myself.

After my search on the net it was crystal clear my issues came from PMO, i had DE for ages and had to finish of myself. Now i have ED/PIED aswell. Always had to fantasise about pron during sex.

You though know your problem. Please not be like me.
Hey Richard, follow this thread. The guy that is in this thread tells you how to get rid of the problems you are talking about with erectile dysfunction. It’s really good and he covers it real well. You just have to come through and find the parts where he talks about it. Hope it helps. Good luck.
 
Hey Nick, you came to the right post, go to page 1 and start reading Williams posts. You can’t go wrong. I’ve been following this thread and using it as a study guide since day one when I started. I’m on day 57 hard mode today. I have been using this thread and another thread as my main study sources. The biggest thing I can give you as advice would be to stop fantasizing in your head because as William says this addiction is above the waist not below it. When you shut down the fantasy machine it is so much easier. Anytime a bad thought enters your head get rid of it immediately. William covers how to go about this all throughout this thread. Get started and be done with this horrible addiction. I’m at day 57 and I can sit here and honestly say that I am done forever and I am really sure about that. You seem to want an accountability partner and I understand that but I have been in this addiction all my life for decades and anytime I’ve gone after a partner/sponsor it hasn’t worked out too well. My biggest thing I have been doing is studying every day and making myself more and more aware of what’s going on. Studying increases your awareness and makes you stronger. The best suggestion I could give you is to go to this forum and the no fap forum and read through the success stories. I only follow two main threads to study with this one that were on with William and the link I post below are two of the best that I found and are full of gold to help you get through this. Good luck and you can message me if you need someone to talk to.
Here is the link to the other thread.
Hi RJ, I really appreciate the reply, I will follow your advice. I'm definitely done too, but I know that it is easier said than done and easy to stick to in the early days immediately after a crisis, like the one I'm going through now with my marriage. However I intend to stick it out and have done a lot of reading so far, as well as put content blocker on my phone and laptop. I also use an app called 'Reboot', which allows you to keep track of your days clean and prompts you to check in every day with helpful tips and advice. And I'm also making some headway into practicing mindfulness and meditation as I think I've indulged in this habit largely to numb or reduce anxiety. I've also exited the couple of picture sharing chat groups I was a member of. Recent events have shocked me into actually doing these things instead of fooling myself that I can 'stop on my own', which has failed many times in the past. It's been about 20 years of heavy use, and lighter use of about 10 years prior to that (before broadband). I'm done lying to myself, and my wife of course. Although I'm scared my wife will leave me eventually, I also feel good that I've taken these steps towards changing. Regarding your problems with accountability partners in the past, do you mean that when you tried to make them accountable for their actions eg slipping up, they reacted badly? I have a friend who I have been talking to about this, although he doesn't have the same problems. Is it possible to use a non-porn addict successfully as an accountability partner? Just wondering, in your experience. If not, where do you think I can try to find one? Thanks. Again, I appreciate the input and advice, also congrats on 58 days, that's great.
 
Dude do not be LIKE ME (sorry caps)

You can read my thread if you want to see how sad, miserable, disgusted, angry this makes u feel. I am still devestated about losing her to this useless and disgusting addiction. I am a weak sad disgusting peace of shit for doing it. And i payed the biggest price there is, you can earn money but you can not buy loving/caring partner and that is what i had.

PMO is not worth losing you loved ones over. I was a retard and did not really know my ED/DE was caused by porn as the doctor told me that watching porn could help me get an erection and i was to lazy to investigate the net myself.

After my search on the net it was crystal clear my issues came from PMO, i had DE for ages and had to finish of myself. Now i have ED/PIED aswell. Always had to fantasise about pron during sex.

You though know your problem. Please not be like me.
Hi Richard, thanks for the advice and sorry to hear about your problems. I'm at the point where I may or may not lose her but hoping she can forgive me and start to trust me again. In any case, I'm sticking this out for good. I have ED too, it sucks but I'm hopeful it will improve or go away once I persist in forgetting about this garbage and resetting my brain. I hope things go well for you. Don't give up.
 

RJ64

Member
Hi RJ, I really appreciate the reply, I will follow your advice. I'm definitely done too, but I know that it is easier said than done and easy to stick to in the early days immediately after a crisis, like the one I'm going through now with my marriage. However I intend to stick it out and have done a lot of reading so far, as well as put content blocker on my phone and laptop. I also use an app called 'Reboot', which allows you to keep track of your days clean and prompts you to check in every day with helpful tips and advice. And I'm also making some headway into practicing mindfulness and meditation as I think I've indulged in this habit largely to numb or reduce anxiety. I've also exited the couple of picture sharing chat groups I was a member of. Recent events have shocked me into actually doing these things instead of fooling myself that I can 'stop on my own', which has failed many times in the past. It's been about 20 years of heavy use, and lighter use of about 10 years prior to that (before broadband). I'm done lying to myself, and my wife of course. Although I'm scared my wife will leave me eventually, I also feel good that I've taken these steps towards changing. Regarding your problems with accountability partners in the past, do you mean that when you tried to make them accountable for their actions eg slipping up, they reacted badly? I have a friend who I have been talking to about this, although he doesn't have the same problems. Is it possible to use a non-porn addict successfully as an accountability partner? Just wondering, in your experience. If not, where do you think I can try to find one? Thanks. Again, I appreciate the input and advice, also congrats on 58 days, that's great.
Hey Nick, I am responding to your question about having a accountability partner. I was in SA a couple of years ago and I didn’t have much success with the 12 step program. Part of my problem with it was every time they gave me a sponsor I was elated. My biggest problem was the person that was the sponsor was not fully engaged. I can tell when I call somebody that they want to get off the phone as fast as possible and really didn’t give me any great advice or anything when I was checking in. One sponsor I had all he did was talk about himself and what was going on with him in his life and never seemed interested in my struggles. I was just giving my experience with sponsors. I’m not saying it don’t work, I just won’t ever rely on it again. recently I even had a guy offered to be my sponsor from a phone meeting. He was great the first time I talk to him but every time after that he was always so busy you could tell he just didn’t want to talk so when I feel like somebody’s being that way I don’t like to call them. The way to beat this addiction in my opinion is to study success stories like this thread, don’t fantasize or let any thoughts take root in your head. Like William says in this thread, the problem is above the waist not below the waist. It’s a dopamine addiction. Quickly dismiss thoughts and fantasizing at once. Read threads like this one where people have success and learn what they did to get where they are. Good luck and God bless
 
Hi @RJ64, ok I understand. Sorry to hear about your issues with sponsors in the past. I guess it's luck of the draw, as with anything else that involves a bunch of people, even if they share common issues/interests. I'll continue to post, and read the stories of other on sites like this, it has been very helpful and encouraging so far. I appreciate the advice, and the knowledge that this is a chemical addiction (dopamine) like many others, and that so many different people are having similar problems has been extremely eye-opening. All the best, and good luck to you too.
 

Gracie

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Yoo, this post is super old!
When I read it I first thought "whait, Gabe is just three years clean? That sounds odd!". =D
William, the author of this post, let the forum know he was leaving the forum. He helped so many with his wisdom, it was decided that it would be posted for those who came after to use for guidance. Many good nuggets are contained in his posts and others too that posted in his forum.
 

zoallen

New Member
Day 3 on hard mode. So glad to find this forum and Will, wherever you are out there thank you for your post. those videos you shared rocked me to my core. I cannot wait to grow in this self self ennoblement journey. I will do this! High time I put pornography in the rearview before I have major life commitments.
 
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SmokenMirrors

Active Member
Got to give this thread a bump. I'm on day 27 going strong! I implore everybody to read it from the beginning. William has left a legendary legacy behind and we are all scions of him. Let's not let him down.
 

TryingHarder

Active Member
Porn no longer controls my life because I know that with porn in my life, porn controlled me.
This is one of the most confounding things about my porn addiction. Years ago, I turned to porn because, deep down, sub-consciously, I wasn't happy with my life, and porn gave me a sense of control. A fantasy world where nobody would say no and I would always get my way. The irony is that what will really give me a sense of control is to quit porn and never look back.
 

AAron79

Member
empowering. I also post here, it helps. Most guys swear by K9. I have used it, and I recommend it. You can stop reading here, go to K9, install it, come back and finish. Don't give yourself time or a reason not to.

Here comes the "but". Last, withdrawals. Withdrawals suck. We don't talk enough about them here. They are why we fail. They are our brain's dopamine drenched chemical reward center begging us, threatening us, punishing us, pleading with us, rationalizing with us why we need to PMO. Withdrawals are painful, they are physical, mental, and emotional pain. They are the jitters, the shakes, the sweats, odd pains in odd places, the brain fog we feel when quitting, and our brain's way of telling us all that unpleasantness can go away with just a little harmless fix. When going through withdrawal I felt I had a sinus infection and my teeth actually hurt. I did not have a sinus infection and my teeth were fine, but my brain, at some level, had to make me feel bad to try and make me feel good through a porn induced dopamine release. The good thing is, if you are having withdrawals, it means your brain's dopamine levels are on their way back to normal.
Wow Man, you nailed it for me. I'm definitely a newb to reboot. Found this group today and I'm about 38 and a half hours clean. Almost lost my wife yesterday. I truly hope you're still holding your own in this battle, for both of us. I've been lying to myself, and my wife, for so long that I believed everything I said, even when she didn't. She's by far the smarter of us. I've quit, I've relapsed, I've quit, I've relapsed, ad nauseam. She gave me an ultimatum, her or the porn. I think we all know how I chose. Lucky for me I was gifted the greatest woman ever born. She knows I'm not in control. She suggested I seek counseling and i am all in now. I really didn't think I actually had a problem until I started reading some of these threads. Reboot,and this particular post, has put things into perspective for me. I absolutely love my wife more than anything in this world and the thought of losing her terrified me. Thank you.
 

SmokenMirrors

Active Member
Wow Man, you nailed it for me. I'm definitely a newb to reboot. Found this group today and I'm about 38 and a half hours clean. Almost lost my wife yesterday. I truly hope you're still holding your own in this battle, for both of us. I've been lying to myself, and my wife, for so long that I believed everything I said, even when she didn't. She's by far the smarter of us. I've quit, I've relapsed, I've quit, I've relapsed, ad nauseam. She gave me an ultimatum, her or the porn. I think we all know how I chose. Lucky for me I was gifted the greatest woman ever born. She knows I'm not in control. She suggested I seek counseling and i am all in now. I really didn't think I actually had a problem until I started reading some of these threads. Reboot,and this particular post, has put things into perspective for me. I absolutely love my wife more than anything in this world and the thought of losing her terrified me. Thank you.
Keep fighting, king
 
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