Hi Dave and Mouse,
so good to have you guys here.
We are complex creatures.
Physically we have to manage the conditions of our body, our emotions, our exchange with our environment
Psychologically we have to manage our thoughts, our memories, our desires/expectations and our ongoing experiences.
Its a very dynamic environment, things are constantly changing/evolving and therefore to expect that things will go smoothly as we wish is therefore very unlikely.
Do not be too hard on yourself.
Everyday is different. As long as you keep to your path, you will get there one day.
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So how do we move forward with confidence and clarity?
I feel the conversation in our head is the most important.
We need to find and apply only the correct language and conversation.
Our reality is based on this conversation.
Next we need to connect with our emotions
This is the other language in our body that uses no words, but communicates a lot.
Together these 2 dialogues will help guide us through the waters of change clearly and smoothly.
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The first step is to define your values
Know what you want in life and how to get it
define the language and conversation in your head that best helps you get there.
The second is let go.
Everything is changing. Holding on to the past or anything that is not real is only going to cause more hurt and pain.
Learn only to hold on to that which is kind helpful beneficial to your wellbeing and growth.
Selfishness and self centeredness is harmful. Learn to let go of these and become more selfless, and generous and forgiving towards others, and yourself.
Finally is focus.
Identify activities that are beneficial to you.
Engage in them fully. Keep recognizing yourself. Learn to love and respect yourself deeply.
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I too feel sorry and needy and dependent some times.
These are the conversations in my head.
They are telling me something is not right. That's all.
Now is the fun part of deciding what is the best process to solve these.
Our past habits or reactions have lead us to our place here today.
Mouse is right that we now need to face them instead of running away like we did before.
We can keep using ineffective old ways or find effective new ones.
It may not be comfortable in the beginning but as with change, in time we will become better and improve.
Give yourself the love and respect to do what is beneficial.
Have clarity by writing down and reminding what is important to you and your long term goals.
Focus on improving your inner conversation.
Find and hear the kind and loving voice within you gently guiding you towards strength, courage, and independence.