The final countdown

[dusty]

Hello again,

last days were fluctuating. I have problems to control myself properly. On the one hand I feel that PMO is in some way bad for me but on the other I look for researches that deny this.

Honestly guys, sometimes I really regret that I found yourbrainonporn and this forum... I know that this website enlightened me but except for porn caused problem it triggers sense of guilt after PMO which I haven't had before I found this website.

I will try to do a reboot again. Tommorow will be my day 1.

 

[malando]

Hello again,

last days were fluctuating. I have problems to control myself properly. On the one hand I feel that PMO is in some way bad for me but on the other I look for researches that deny this.

Honestly guys, sometimes I really regret that I found yourbrainonporn and this forum... I know that this website enlightened me but except for porn caused problem it triggers sense of guilt after PMO which I haven't had before I found this website.

I will try to do a reboot again. Tommorow will be my day 1.

That's your addict brain looking for excuses to let you go back to PMO. But it's too late, you can't unlearn what you have learned. You will never go back to guilt free PMO, and the reason you even learned about this stuff is because PMO was damaging your life. Forget fantasies like, "I wish I never knew", because that can't be done. And if you never knew, you might also end up with total PIED and a life that's lacking in any direction or purpose. That's what P-addicts have to look forward to. It doesn't end well for any addict.

Trust in the instincts that brought you here. They were trying to help you get your life back. Stop looking back fondly at your PMO past like there was no guilt and no big problem. If there was no problem you wouldn't even be here and you wouldn't be writing "I will try to do a reboot again. Tommorow will be my day 1." Your addict brain is BSing you. Be strong and commit to this. PMO addiction leads nowhere good.

 

[dusty]

Hello again,

last days were fluctuating. I have problems to control myself properly. On the one hand I feel that PMO is in some way bad for me but on the other I look for researches that deny this.

Honestly guys, sometimes I really regret that I found yourbrainonporn and this forum... I know that this website enlightened me but except for porn caused problem it triggers sense of guilt after PMO which I haven't had before I found this website.

I will try to do a reboot again. Tommorow will be my day 1.

That's your addict brain looking for excuses to let you go back to PMO. But it's too late, you can't unlearn what you have learned. You will never go back to guilt free PMO, and the reason you even learned about this stuff is because PMO was damaging your life. Forget fantasies like, "I wish I never knew", because that can't be done. And if you never knew, you might also end up with total PIED and a life that's lacking in any direction or purpose. That's what P-addicts have to look forward to. It doesn't end well for any addict.

Trust in the instincts that brought you here. They were trying to help you get your life back. Stop looking back fondly at your PMO past like there was no guilt and no big problem. If there was no problem you wouldn't even be here and you wouldn't be writing "I will try to do a reboot again. Tommorow will be my day 1." Your addict brain is BSing you. Be strong and commit to this. PMO addiction leads nowhere good.

words of wisdom.

What can I say, my day 1 will be tommorow. I'm going to put a different number each day, not many words.

 

[dusty]

4

 

[dusty]

A year has passed since the day I started my journal here. Around 12 years since I started PMO. Honestly I didn't make any progress - still fapping, still can't control myself properly. I would like to rerun my reboot, I will post my progress everyday. Let's start with first goal: 30 days PMO free. Why not 90 or more? Because small steps are easier and as I know from past rebooting, first month is the hardest one.

Take care.

 

[Numez]

A year has passed since the day I started my journal here. Around 12 years since I started PMO. Honestly I didn't make any progress - still fapping, still can't control myself properly. I would like to rerun my reboot, I will post my progress everyday. Let's start with first goal: 30 days PMO free. Why not 90 or more? Because small steps are easier and as I know from past rebooting, first month is the hardest one.

Take care.

never give up

 

[dusty]

day 2 (28 days to the first step)

It's the beginning of my reboot. Today I had some cravings because I was alone at home but it's not so hard to overcome them.

 

[dusty]

Day 5 (25 days to the first step)

Until now not so hard. I had craving obviously but I know the feeling and I'm prepared (trying to distract attentiong when it's coming)

 

[dusty]

Day 12 (18 days to the first step)

Originally I've assumed that I would update my journal every day but nothing special happened during previous days. Really interesting and valuable for me is to track my previous journal and compare single days of reboot. I can draw a conclusion that present reboot is really similar, I had also not so hard days 1-9 but last days are more difficult because my brain's just started to want a P. I had dreams about PMO and sex and also I'm more responsive to all stimuli like YT videos and adverts.

Best luck to all of you.

 

[dusty]

32 days (the first step took)

So, it's more than a month without PMO. I am hopeful about the future. It's not very hard during this reboot, but obviously I have some ups and downs. I MO'ed three times during last two weeks so it's not a hardmode but it works for me.

Take care

 

[dusty]

Do you know this meme" 'ah shit, here we go again'

So I'm again here and it's a fucking vicious circle.

1st stage -> porn is awful, I have to change my life, it's going in the wrong direction
2nd stage -> yee' it's going better, I'm clean, maybe sometimes more horny but not so bad
3rd stage -> ok, i'm already quite fine, i suppose porn is not so bad and i'm not addicted, so maybe i'll use it time to time
4th stage -> oh shit, here we go again

I just PMO'ed and it's my day 0. I'll update this journal every fucking day. Please give me some motivation. Because all what I see here is that almost everyone is constatly failing.

Cheers

 

[Lero]

Quitting P is hard, that's why some of us here keep relapsing. Motivation comes from following the plan. Anytime you do something better, anytime you don't repeat the same mistake, anytime you identify the trigger, anytime you catch yourself before doing it and get over it... All those things should be your motivation. If you don't find motivation inside you, all the motivation from others won't be enough. Strength comes from practice. Every little progress is progress. And we need patience because it takes time. A relapse is not the end of the world, it is an opportunity to identify triggers and mistakes. Every loss is an invitation to train harder and play better in the next match. Sure, it's great to win the World Cup at the first participation but, in general, we need a few tries.

 

[J01]

Dusty, that brilliant 4 stage analysis is succinct yet it basically encapsulates the reality of the journey.  it is easy to get pulled down between stage 2 and 3.  Thanks, and congratulations on coming back and dealing with reality. 

 

[dusty]

Thank you guys for your replies!

it's my second day of new beautiful journey. 

 

[deminounrae]

Hi man. I just finished reading all of your journal and I can say that we are very very similar. I know how much the journal is important and I failed just like you. I'm currently on day 3.

Here's my propose we write to each other to keep motivated. That's right I don't know you and you don't know me but we both have a common goal. If you want a partner in this to be more motivated well I'm here if you want... Your choice

Here's my journal for you to read:
http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=16687.0

 

[achilles heel]

Do you know this meme" 'ah shit, here we go again'

So I'm again here and it's a fucking vicious circle.

1st stage -> porn is awful, I have to change my life, it's going in the wrong direction
2nd stage -> yee' it's going better, I'm clean, maybe sometimes more horny but not so bad
3rd stage -> ok, i'm already quite fine, i suppose porn is not so bad and i'm not addicted, so maybe i'll use it time to time
4th stage -> oh shit, here we go again

I just PMO'ed and it's my day 0. I'll update this journal every fucking day. Please give me some motivation. Because all what I see here is that almost everyone is constatly failing.

Cheers

You didn't fail when you went 85 and 42 days without porn because of using porn again afterwards. You already experienced more freedom (despite cravings and withdrawals) and made more use of your valuable lifetime than sitting in front of your computer watching other people have sex while masturbating. Those were 85/42 days of your life you WON.

I know the stage 3/stage 4 problem, my problems are not as present anymore and I can't imagine how shitty I felt for relapsing on porn. But instead of being thankful for having advanced, we tend to lower our guards and underestimate this addiction.

Think about what troubles you, what leads to relapses and what behaviours/situations to avoid. Set up as much restrictions as possible, write here every day and set a small goal of a few days for the beginning to get back on track.

You do read a lot about failure because this isn't an easy way and most people give up. If you just don't give up it's the first step towards succeeding. Learn from your mistakes and use your experience and you can make it! All the best for you! 

 

[dusty]

Do you know this meme" 'ah shit, here we go again'

So I'm again here and it's a fucking vicious circle.

1st stage -> porn is awful, I have to change my life, it's going in the wrong direction
2nd stage -> yee' it's going better, I'm clean, maybe sometimes more horny but not so bad
3rd stage -> ok, i'm already quite fine, i suppose porn is not so bad and i'm not addicted, so maybe i'll use it time to time
4th stage -> oh shit, here we go again

I just PMO'ed and it's my day 0. I'll update this journal every fucking day. Please give me some motivation. Because all what I see here is that almost everyone is constatly failing.

Cheers

You didn't fail when you went 85 and 42 days without porn because of using porn again afterwards. You already experienced more freedom (despite cravings and withdrawals) and made more use of your valuable lifetime than sitting in front of your computer watching other people have sex while masturbating. Those were 85/42 days of your life you WON.

I know the stage 3/stage 4 problem, my problems are not as present anymore and I can't imagine how shitty I felt for relapsing on porn. But instead of being thankful for having advanced, we tend to lower our guards and underestimate this addiction.

Think about what troubles you, what leads to relapses and what behaviours/situations to avoid. Set up as much restrictions as possible, write here every day and set a small goal of a few days for the beginning to get back on track.

You do read a lot about failure because this isn't an easy way and most people give up. If you just don't give up it's the first step towards succeeding. Learn from your mistakes and use your experience and you can make it! All the best for you! 

Many thanks Achilles. You're more experienced and determined so I'll try to benefit from your strategies.

It's a 3rd day. Beginning but I'm happy to be here again. I think that positive attitude will be useful. It's not a war, it's a remedy and a peace for my soul. Yep, that was deep.

 

[dusty]

4th day and the beginning was really bad. I mean i had no urges to PMO but I felt kind of depressed. Not sure if it's connected to reboot or bad sleep because of the heat. But now it's better and i'm pretty laid-back. I'll do some jogging for sure and spend the evening with my gf.

take care

 

[dusty]

6th day and now i'm in really good mood. Yesterday was not so nice but only in the first half of the day. Thankfully I don't have any hard urges.

I'll try to stay happy and focus on benefits of no PMO! 

 

[Lero]

That's awesome, man. Soon it will be your first week completed. If you could go 1 week, you could go 2.