quit for good

[joepanic]

Hey friends    This is a continuation of my post in  porn addiction  as this is more my journal and the other post was sort of mislabeled  So  from now on I will be continuing my journal from here

    as of midnight tonight I will be 14 days free  and I'm feeling pretty good  no real side effects yet  I've been spending my time doing as much reading as I can on the topic and  slowly working on other things round the house to keep busy  I am off work till March so tend to have a lot of free time  The wife and kids are back to school and work this coming Monday when the real test will begin.  Trying to take some time  to find ways to get out of the house and do something meaningful.  I think most of us understand how much we have missed things and forgotten even how to act and live in certain situations  ie  interacting with the public and our friends and family  basically our confidence  to achieve certain level of results is diminished  I believe this could be the hard part in this  so that is where I'm gong to put some of my energies    Will keep you all posted as to how this moves along

      Post often  it helps me it helps you

 

[joepanic]

Day 15  feeling pretty good  a few urges  but was able to suppress them by getting myself moving  doing some organizing and working out/exercise  I only have one thought thats been on my mind and if i win this battle  years down the road  will I look back on myself and think only poorly of these years  any thought on it ?

    post often  it helps me it helps you

 

[Overcomer2017]

Looking back on prior years and deeming them poorly is a pill called regret. I have "taken" this pill for many years and it got me nowhere but living under a negative cloud. For DECADES I regretted not listening to my parents' financial wisdom. It's only been about five years ago when I finally forgave myself. Thinking back poorly of previous times is also a waste of time. Again, I speak from experience.

Rock on, joepanic! 

 

[Gunner]

Good job Joe! Keep it going. It is not easy and takes effort and work. Just 6 days for me as I felt it proper to start on 1/1. I have done it before, once for  six months and another for two. It feels great when your brain is off porn!

 

[EnigmaMan]

Looking back on prior years and deeming them poorly is a pill called regret. I have "taken" this pill for many years and it got me nowhere but living under a negative cloud. For DECADES I regretted not listening to my parents' financial wisdom. It's only been about five years ago when I finally forgave myself. Thinking back poorly of previous times is also a waste of time. Again, I speak from experience.

Rock on, joepanic! 

Indeed, none of us can do a thing about yesterday, its done.  Make today the best you can, seize every opportunity.  The only way through is forward.  You made the decision to be a quitter like the rest of us, that is a positive worth focusing on, regret and self flagellation only leads to a negative self view which easily leads back to PMO.  When Cortez reached the new world, he burned his ships so his men would be focused on moving ahead, not looking to go back.

 

[workingonit]

Hello Joe,

Good you are working on your addiction.  I like the quote under Enigmaman's post.  That if you put yourself down, it continues your spiral and furthers use. 

I attended my first SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) meeting last week.  It was really interesting hearing other stories.  SAA/AA ws set up by christians but the people in my group are not christians.  They follow the SAA steps which seems rigid at first but gives a frame work to work through your problems.  Might be worth looking at?

All the best!

 

[joepanic]

Hey Guys  thanks for reading  and taking the time to post words of encouragement.  I am now on day  18  and only had a few urges  but was quickly able to suppress them  I also had a dream that I  relapsed  but it was after a month but the dream must have disappeared very quickly  so i'm not giving it any further thought    Today the real test will begin as the house is completely empty  and I know I will have some free time  I'm carefully debating how to fill it  I might go and snowblower out a few neighbours driveways to stay out of the house (we had a fair amount of snow last night and its still snowing)  but its not so cold now  over all I do feel much better these days  and so far  no real side effects  at all  made love to the wife over the weekend  but it was a quicky as the kids were getting up  but it was def a good time      Will try to post later today as to how this 1st day lone is going

      Cheers  post oftewn  it helps me it helps you

 

[Overcomer2017]

Joe,

How was your day today?

Congrats on Day 18!

I'm on Day 7 and my main distraction--my cat--is asleep, lol. I'm sick, home from work. I just got through an urge. I will say, a flu or really bad cold does wonders for rebooting--seriously!

 

[joepanic]

Hey Overcomer    My day went well  I went and helped a few people clear their driveways with my snowblower  was good exercise  to boot  Congrats on day 7  keep pushing through with things to do  I find leaving the house really helps  if you have an urge  you probably cant act on it.  I shall be around in the morning  o say hello and I already have a small list of things I need to do

    Cheers

      post often  it helps me it helps you

 

[joepanic]

Day 19  feeling pretty good    have list of things to do today  to keep busy  hope everyone is well and progressing    sorry this one is short  but gonna go take on some world  i'll pop in later and let ya know how progress is going

    cheers

      post often it helps me it helps you

 

[Overcomer2017]

Hey joe,

Sounds things are good for you. [thumbs up] 

This flu is actually helping me with rebooting. I am so out of it, I couldn't get a hard-on if I was lost in a sorority  ;D . I am going to the doctor's later.

Thanks!

 

[EnigmaMan]

Hey joe,

Sounds things are good for you. [thumbs up] 

This flu is actually helping me with rebooting. I am so out of it, I couldn't get a hard-on if I was lost in a sorority  ;D . I am going to the doctor's later.

Thanks!

Hope you get to feeling better, OC.  Joe keep up the good work, the driveway looks great.  LOL

 

[Overcomer2017]

Thanks, EnigmaMan.

I felt for a brief moment a sense of cockiness (yeah, pun is intended  ;D) yesterday at making a week without PMO. I started thinking, "Oh! I can handle this. This is easy." I immediately felt a need to be humble. A week without wanking--for me--is great, but this is no time for me beating my chest like King Kong. I know the primary reason I am not doing this is because of this virus. (My doc did a nasal swab and said I do not have the flu, though I do have a virus.) So let me "make lemonade out of lemons" and use this viral bug to my rebooting advantage!

 

[joepanic]

Wow  were at day 20        2 days ago I reached the 20% of a 90 day reboot and  now I think  this is the 2nd longest I've gone without p in the last probably 10 years    I'm beginning to think my addiction is not as deep as some  as I'm not really having any side effects at all  the 1st week was somewhat of a flat line  though  that seems to have returned to normal  I cant say i ever used more than once in a day  my problem was late at night  sometimes 3  4 or 5 hour sessions at a time  or when off work  it could start at 10 am and end just before the kids were coming home at 4 pm and I was so bothered by the total loss of a day  as this had gone on for years    usually 4  5  or 6 times a week  I cant imagine counting the hours and  calculating the lost time to this.  But anyway  here we are at day 20  at midnight tomorrow night  it will be 3 weeks    Have a pretty good list of things to accomplish today  so gonna get at it    Will try to keep everyone posted as to how things are going

      Good luck to everyone in there battles    We can all win in the end

                      Cheers  Post often it helps me it helps you

 

[EnigmaMan]

Thanks, EnigmaMan.

I felt for a brief moment a sense of cockiness (yeah, pun is intended  ;D) yesterday at making a week without PMO. I started thinking, "Oh! I can handle this. This is easy." I immediately felt a need to be humble. A week without wanking--for me--is great, but this is no time for me beating my chest like King Kong. I know the primary reason I am not doing this is because of this virus. (My doc did a nasal swab and said I do not have the flu, though I do have a virus.) So let me "make lemonade out of lemons" and use this viral bug to my rebooting advantage!

Yeah, there is a virus going around, made a shambles of my wife's work.  The employee health nurse said she knew of some people taking 6 weeks to fully recover.  Wife is on week #2, just finished a steroid and antibiotic she got for the ear infection it caused...  That was good you realized you were getting cocky.  What is it they say, "Pride goeth before a fall", never more true than when dealing with PMO, I can attest.  I'm on my 8th day this run, it was quiet the first 7, I don't have or watch regular TV so I get my news and what not from youtube.  The cool thing about youtube(I know it has some very bad stuff too) is it knows what I typically watch and recommends similar videos/shows.  Until yesterday all my recommendations made sense, then as if on Que it started recommending things I don't need to watch, funny how that can happen.  I didn't go looking for stuff and it still came looking for me, "Hello, Satan".  Always be on your guard and be humble, just like you said.

 

[Overcomer2017]

Wow! Six weeks. Hope Mrs. EnigmaMan feels better.

Yep, pride goeth before the fall.

Congrats to you!!

 

[joepanic]

And now we begin day 21  3 weeks  almost a 3rd of the way  had a few small urges and  thoughts last night while in bed  rock hard for some time and woke up that way    was able to put them out of my mind and curl up close to the  wife(she never seems o mind that....deep sleeper sometimes)  have a nice list of things to do today  and keep busy as well as training for work coming up in next few weeks  so more things to fill up the time  all seems good so far

    Hope all are well  and winning the battle

      cheers

        post often it helps me it helps you

 

[EnigmaMan]

And now we begin day 21  3 weeks  almost a 3rd of the way  had a few small urges and  thoughts last night while in bed  rock hard for some time and woke up that way    was able to put them out of my mind and curl up close to the  wife(she never seems o mind that....deep sleeper sometimes)  have a nice list of things to do today  and keep busy as well as training for work coming up in next few weeks  so more things to fill up the time  all seems good so far

    Hope all are well  and winning the battle

      cheers

        post often it helps me it helps you

You are doing very well and 21 is a common sticky spot due to brain chemistry changes.  Keep doing what your doing, every day is a new day.

 

[joepanic]

Thanks for the encouragement guys

      Sorry  I havent been on for a few days  but its still going well  Ive faced a few temptations  alot of morning wood with my hand wanting to drift down  and thoughts about  my wife ) but not about  porn  which i suppose is good  in 2 days it will be day 28  4 weeks  wow  almost a 3rd of the way through a 90 day reboot    I think its getting easier now    The thought to surf porn does pop into my head and I usually go through the  maybe i should surf it just to kill time  but I'm slowely starting to develop new habits  and find things to quickly  put the thought out of my mind  I do hope that in the future my mind just automatically  says  lets do this  or lets do that  and its something productive and serves a better purpose    perhaps in time


      Thanks for all the comments and encouragement and hope everyone is doing well on the battlefield


      cheers        post often it helps me it helps you

 

[joepanic]

Hey guys  here we are at day 31  made love to the wife sat morning and all was well    (its good I'm down 6 lbs  since Jan 1st      Hope all are progressing in their battles



    I;ll try to listen to my own words and post a little more often and read a little more often others posts

        Cheers

            Post often it helps me and it helps you