Right, day zero again.
BACKGROUND:
I'm a man in his late 30s, married, two children. I have struggled with porn and chat room addiction since my late teens. I got clean in June 2017 and went three months without anything. Had maybe two or three brief relapses and then a long relapse of about six weeks coming into today.
I received another message from a woman I'd been messaging previously, saying that I had essentially ruined her life. In a way, this is true: on a chat room, I was able to hide large parts of myself, my relationship status, parental status and so on, and present myself as this good looking, kind man who'd be good in a relationship. Of course it's all nonsense because I already am in a relationship.
Previous relapses haven't been as hard and as entrenched, but there's still that horrible underlying dissatisfaction in myself. Why do I feel the need for validation through others? Why do I convince myself that I need more than what I have at the moment? I have a beautiful wife, two beautiful daughters, a good job, good friends, health and wisdom and talent.
Anyway I'm calling this day 0. Everything needs to start again.
To those who previously followed my journey and were so encouraging to me: I'm sorry. I ask for your forgiveness and ask that you will help me start my journey again.
BACKGROUND:
I'm a man in his late 30s, married, two children. I have struggled with porn and chat room addiction since my late teens. I got clean in June 2017 and went three months without anything. Had maybe two or three brief relapses and then a long relapse of about six weeks coming into today.
I received another message from a woman I'd been messaging previously, saying that I had essentially ruined her life. In a way, this is true: on a chat room, I was able to hide large parts of myself, my relationship status, parental status and so on, and present myself as this good looking, kind man who'd be good in a relationship. Of course it's all nonsense because I already am in a relationship.
Previous relapses haven't been as hard and as entrenched, but there's still that horrible underlying dissatisfaction in myself. Why do I feel the need for validation through others? Why do I convince myself that I need more than what I have at the moment? I have a beautiful wife, two beautiful daughters, a good job, good friends, health and wisdom and talent.
Anyway I'm calling this day 0. Everything needs to start again.
To those who previously followed my journey and were so encouraging to me: I'm sorry. I ask for your forgiveness and ask that you will help me start my journey again.