Better Run than Fap

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rnnr

Guest
Day 11. 21:39

I did not post on the forum yesterday. Forgot about it.

It seems that days 1-5 after relapse are the most painful. And after you get to day 7 or 8, it is much easier to stay away from PMO.
 
J

JasonGuitar

Active Member
I agree, the farther you get, the easier it is. But there are still times that pop up where it is difficult to push through.
 
R

rnnr

Guest
Day 12. 22:03

Working less from a cafe. Staying more at home. I can now be productive staying at home.

Here is my lifehack: ride a bicycle to the cafe, drink coffee. Talk to some friends for 30 minutes. Go back and work from home.
 
R

rnnr

Guest
Day 14.

I tend to forget to post in this journal. Risky behavior.

14 days. Two weeks. Nice.
 
P

PE30

Well-Known Member
Good work on getting to two weeks. I know what you mean about posting on here: it's a good discipline but it's easy to forget. Keep it up!
 
R

rnnr

Guest
Day 15. 20:04
Going to sleep earlier today. Need some rest. It was a good weekend.
 
R

rnnr

Guest
Day 16. 22:00

Really focused on my web-development projects. I became much more relaxed in this job. Everyday communication with clients helps to build trust. Just need to believe that I will succeed in this career. Get busy, get doing.
 
J

JasonGuitar

Active Member
I'm glad to hear it's still going well and you are coming up with ways to help you stay with it. I agree 100% with talking to your clients daily or at least regularly. It not only helps build that relationship, but lets them know that they are on your radar and their project is being worked on.

With my clients, I firmly believe in getting back to them right away, even if it just to tell them I don't have anything to tell them, but I am working on it. Knowing that you are on the other end is huge with clients. Think about if you sent an email or made a call to your internet company, and just never heard anything. Then followed up 3 weeks later and they said "oh right, we took care of that."  You'd be glad it was taken care of, but you would wonder if you would have even known if you hadn't followed up. My main goal is not to make clients follow up with ME.
 
R

rnnr

Guest
I PMOd today. Need to reset my counter again.

Need to plan some quality rest. All work and no rest make me stressed out.

So I managed to avoid PMO for 17 days. Not bad.

I wonder if I can start a 10-days streak of NoFap right away.
 
J

JasonGuitar

Active Member
All you can do is start over and look back at the progress that you did make. 17 days is a LONG time to go without PMO when you have gotten used to doing it daily. I think a 10 day goal for starters is a good way to go.

I have been struggling with urges and temptations myself over the last couple days. I am really trying to redirect as well.
 
R

rnnr

Guest
The biggest lie that my mind gets me into is that I need to do everything by myself, on my own, without help from others.

PMO gets me to think that I am all alone, that no one is here with me. And these thoughts make me feel down. I can be cheerful and enthusiastic for 7-30 days, and then suddenly go down for several days after I PMO.

Today I PMOd again after 2 days without PMO.

New trigger for PMO: feeling tired.

I got used to thinking that I need to work a lot. And I do not give myself proper rest. In this state my mind wants me to relax and asks for PMO. After PMO I cannot work effectively for 4-5 hours and I just do nothing. So PMO is the way for my mind to get some rest.

I've been running in the morning for 63 days in a row already. And last 4 days were really tough. I ran for 3 km (not my regular 6 km) during these days. Changed my root to make the distance shorter.

Need to get back to my regular 6 km.

Need to get me back on track.
 
R

rnnr

Guest
Day 1.

Do not want to describe the details about my previous week.

I had the illusion that PMO does not hurt me. But previous 6 days almost set me back to the point where I started my NoFap journey 60 days ago.

PMO is definitely the thing to avoid completely in my life.
 
J

JasonGuitar

Active Member
You have made great progress with running everyday, you just need to find a way to translate that into being PMO free for just as long, or longer. Think about the things that motivate you to get out and run, can any of them translate into reasons not to PMO?

Just take one day at a time. 2 days without PMO is better than PMO every day.

I completely understand about PMO making you feel alone. I can remember those feelings. Even the thought of watching porn now turns my stomach, though my downfall is pictures/videos of attractive women, who are not doing anything NSFW. I keep getting emails from Instagram...their algorithm must have noticed I haven't logged in in awhile :)

My wife is my motivation, even though she doesn't know about my addiction or PMO/PIED issues. But I love her with all my heart and want to have a good, successful, 'normal' relationship, both in and out of the bedroom. 30 minutes of PMO is not worth an awkward night in the bedroom and her feeling even worse about her body image than she already does. It is also not worth being late to family obligations, not getting things done I need to, like grocery shopping or things around the house, which only add stress to our marriage. There are no negatives to ditching PMO, though it can be hard not to slip back into that cycle. I have gotten so close a few times but managed to pull myself out of it and ride it out.
 
R

rnnr

Guest
Day 5.

I try to keep my focus on my NoFap choice.

I found out that the majority of the day-to-day stress comes from me not being organized well. So today I opened my task manager (todoist.com) and went through the weekly review in GTD methodology.

I feel that I have much more clarity in my mind and finally can relax and not think about 100500 things at a time.

I also noticed that I am much more relaxed in my web-design projects. Those technical issues that produced lots of stress are now less stressful. At least I am confident that I can manage them.
 
J

JasonGuitar

Active Member
I also struggle with organization. I set out with the best of intentions when I start work but my day gets away from me by 10am. Let me know if you come up with any tips or good ways to set a schedule and stick to it!
 
G

Georgos

Well-Known Member
Don't know how good you are at reading mathematics Jason, but the following is an example of what not to think about when scheduling:
https://math.stackexchange.com/questions/2789889/discrete-maths-ways-of-sitting-3-exams-during-a-13-week-semester/2789960
 
R

rnnr

Guest
Yesterday was the day #9. Today is the day #00 again.

My trigger: bad feelings while being rejected by women.

When I am not seeking attention from women I feel OK and have no triggers for PMO. When I start thinking about getting a new girlfriend and talking to women with such thoughts in my mind I build some expectations and feel low when women do not show their interest in me.

Fear of rejection. Fear of not being loved. This is my trigger.

When I do not think about relationships with women I do not experience any urges.

Need to come up with a system for this area of my life. Got no ideas yet.

Chasing women's attention makes everything worse. Trying to forget about women ? does not work for me.

The thought that helped me go through the last 9 days without PMO was the belief that the Higher Powers will help me choose the right woman and build a happy family someday.

When I try to take control of this area of my life I quickly become disappointed and depressed when I do not get results that I want as fast as I want.

I'll try not to focus on this relapse too much just not to build up its importance. Relapses happen. Everything is OK.

They remind me about the areas of my life that need to be thought out well.


***

Being overwhelmed by my work is not getting me stressed out as it used to be.

I signed up for a Todoist.com Premium account and came up with a Next Action for every active project that I have. I use GTD (Getting Things Done) methodology for Projects and Next Actions. I write checklists for all regularly repeated tasks and go through a checklist every time I start a new project. I save these checklists in Evernote.com.

I use Toggl.com to track my work time. A ticking timer keeps me focused.

So now I keep less info in my mind and feel much more relaxed.
 
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