A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y

T

Totte

Guest
Report Day 33
Day 11 PMO free

Day 14 eating healthy
(and on day 7 lost 1,5 kilos.) (3,3 lbs)

I get some spam mail from s.. site and wanted to se if I cud unsubscribe.
Just going in and scrolling down to the bottom it ?triggered? me!
Well I did not do any PMO or PM or MO or M.
Do I need to disconnect totally to get free?

Tom
 
DavS

DavS

Active Member
  What I do is disconnect from the trigger, and reaffirm that I'm done with it forever!
 
T

Totte

Guest
Turtle said:
  What I do is disconnect from the trigger, and reaffirm that I'm done with it forever!
Click to expand...

Was my plan to delete the trigger mail and se that I don?t get them!
But going in to the mail and scroll down to klick on unsubscribe.
The pictures triggered me!
I usually delete the mail, but got tired of delete them!

Tom
 
T

Totte

Guest
Turtle said:
  What I do is disconnect from the trigger, and reaffirm that I'm done with it forever!
Click to expand...

I keep on deleting the spam mail and not go in to them!.
If that don?t work il put my phone away and not check my mail.

Tom
 
T

Totte

Guest
Report Day 33
Day 11 PMO free

Day 14 eating healthy
and on day 7 lost 1,5 kilos. (3,3 lbs)
Now at day 14 I lost 1,3 kilos (2,87 lbs)
Total 2,9 kilos (6,39 lbs)

Tom
 
T

Totte

Guest
Report Day 34
Day 12 PMO free
Closing in on two weeks.
14 to 20 days is a turnaround point as I understand, then I can start relaxing more!
I think it?s been not that hard time, only really hard thing was trying to get away from s.. spam.
I get morning wood , if it?s from body testing signals as body always do (that?s good if so).
Or am I dreaming hot dreams don?t now yet.

Day 15 eating healthy
and on day 14 Total 2,9 kilos (6,39 lbs)

Tom
 
DavS

DavS

Active Member
  Good work, keep doing it!
  Watch out, sometimes negative impulses get worse before they get better.
 
T

Totte

Guest
Turtle said:
  Good work, keep doing it!
  Watch out, sometimes negative impulses get worse before they get better.
Click to expand...
Thanks
I agree woke up and I got a bad feeling, my brain is spinning.
Now pure willpower is needed!

Tom
 
T

Totte

Guest
Report Day 35
Day 13 PMO free

Day 16 eating healthy

I got a feeling I need to watch P!
I hope I can stop thinking of all stupid thoughts!
It?s like spinning one second I see a teen with two big.....
Next I see a ladyboy....
Next a old woman....
Next I see BDSM and so on....

And nothing is what I really want!
I want to cuddle, kissing and feeling my wife next to me.
But it?s spinning in my head

Tom
 
T

Totte

Guest
Report Day 36
Day 14 PMO free

Day 17 eating healthy
Well did slip and eat some is cream.
Made 2 of 3 gym pass week one
One gympas of tre so far this week.

Tom
 
T

Totte

Guest
Report Day 37
Day 15 PMO free

Day 18 eating healthy

Still get some fantasy over women I meet, and I don?t like that!
I?d like to just see them and that?s it! This is something new dident do that before my problem started. Can it be that my brain don?t get what it wants from my life?
And desperately seeking other different woman to get the rush from?
I?m wondering if I lost my ability to connect with my wife!
I have a good life, do I want to meet a 10-15 year younger women to start over with?
My brain say yes but my mind and my heart say no!
So many things going on in my head.....

Tom
 
T

Totte

Guest
Report Day 38
Day 16 PMO free

Day 19 eating healthy

One thing I did together with wife was cuddle together nothing fancy just tender cuddle with some kisses. It was like a pree start of karezza step 1. It felt good.

But naturally I got a mail that I saw a hot woman, and why did I not trove the mail away?
Reading started innocently but it ended at she was in to BDSM and two pictures followed.
Naturally I started fantasy about that no PMO.
Now I will start meditation to clear my mind away and reconnect with that good feeling I had with wife last night. What was awesome about that cuddle, so good feeling of closeness and I got wood from that feeling it was so nice to feel connected and feeling her warmth.

Tom

 
T

Totte

Guest
Report Day 39
Day 17 PMO free

Day 20 eating healthy, we had friends over for dinner and I drank some wine and eat and drank to much. But I will go to the gym to day.

Tom
 
T

Totte

Guest
Report Day 40
Day 18 PMO free

Day 21 eating healthy. 3 weeks and 3,3 kilo (7.26 Lbs)

Tom
 
T

Totte

Guest
Report Day 41
Day 19 PMO free

Day 22 eating healthy. 3 weeks and 3,3 kilo (7.26 Lbs)

What can I do to look at women and not start to get fantasy of how it would be to be with them?
I guess it?s part of the process well there is no labido but I question in my head!
Before the start I would fantasy of what I do to them (like a predator).
Is this flatline? Not how I was imagining flatline.

Tom
 
Karzam

Karzam

Active Member
Hi Tom,

I think each person's flatline is different in a way - except that there's a period of having no libido (or at least in general no libido), that seems to be the only unifying factor...

Karzam
 
T

Totte

Guest
Report Day 42
Day 20 PMO free

Day 23 eating healthy
I guess I?m in a flatline no morning wood and it?s like dead down there.
Now I need to pray that I don?t do P to check to se if things work.

Thanks Karzam I guess you are right! But it?s scary.

Tom
 
T

Totte

Guest
Report Day 45
Day 3 PMO free (slipping)
This no good and now I feel so bad about that I?m at step 1.
All this is bad and I?m so depressed now! I was at 20 days!

Tom
 
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