Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
- Thread starter BabySteps
- Start date
Hang in there,
I?ve been free from porn for well over 2 years. Never had a problem quitting. But am getting cravings for it recently. It?s a pernicious influence. But the regret is the hardest for me. It fucking sucks.
I?m just focused on killing it in the future with a bigger dream and more powerful vision than I could have imagined before.
Good luck.
Stay safe.
I?ve been free from porn for well over 2 years. Never had a problem quitting. But am getting cravings for it recently. It?s a pernicious influence. But the regret is the hardest for me. It fucking sucks.
I?m just focused on killing it in the future with a bigger dream and more powerful vision than I could have imagined before.
Good luck.
Stay safe.
ShadeTrenicin
Well-Known Member
Hey BabySteps,
hows life going for you? Hope you're doing well and safe from the virus!
Cheers
hows life going for you? Hope you're doing well and safe from the virus!
Cheers
BabySteps
Active Member
Day 0,
Well it started about a month back, went to check out some ladies I'm pursuing.
She was so happy to see me, we held hands. She literally let me touch her. I thought were coming alright. I was so wrong. She stopped answering my calls, not calling back after seeing my missed call. I felt pathetic. Why does she have to do something like this to me.
As usual I found comfort in PMOing, I did everyday from 10 March until the 8 April. I felt like I'll never find a woman who likes me. And that's true, unless I change my ways and start behaving like a man. There's no woman who will find me attractive.
My goal now is to fight this addiction and grow as a man. Woman are beautiful creatures, but the power I give them sometimes is just disappointing.
Well it started about a month back, went to check out some ladies I'm pursuing.
She was so happy to see me, we held hands. She literally let me touch her. I thought were coming alright. I was so wrong. She stopped answering my calls, not calling back after seeing my missed call. I felt pathetic. Why does she have to do something like this to me.
As usual I found comfort in PMOing, I did everyday from 10 March until the 8 April. I felt like I'll never find a woman who likes me. And that's true, unless I change my ways and start behaving like a man. There's no woman who will find me attractive.
My goal now is to fight this addiction and grow as a man. Woman are beautiful creatures, but the power I give them sometimes is just disappointing.
ShadeTrenicin
Well-Known Member
hey Babysteps,
Bummer that you had the relapse period man. But it's okay! I do want to ask you something; is it really women who will not like unless you change your ways, or is it you yourself who will not like yourself unless you change your ways? There is a huge difference in that.
You say that there is no woman who will find you attractive, but isn't that a notion that you give yourself because you feel bad for PMO-ing?
I know that self critisism is pretty much unavoidable when it comes to addiction, especially when we relapse. But remember that you are a human, of flesh and blood with emotions. It is okay to feel sad when a woman breaks it off with you! It's also perfectly normal that things don't always work out due to whatever reason! It's not because you are unatractive! Sometimes there just is a mismatch of interests.. That just happens.
Keep going strong man! Im rooting for you
Bummer that you had the relapse period man. But it's okay! I do want to ask you something; is it really women who will not like unless you change your ways, or is it you yourself who will not like yourself unless you change your ways? There is a huge difference in that.
You say that there is no woman who will find you attractive, but isn't that a notion that you give yourself because you feel bad for PMO-ing?
I know that self critisism is pretty much unavoidable when it comes to addiction, especially when we relapse. But remember that you are a human, of flesh and blood with emotions. It is okay to feel sad when a woman breaks it off with you! It's also perfectly normal that things don't always work out due to whatever reason! It's not because you are unatractive! Sometimes there just is a mismatch of interests.. That just happens.
Keep going strong man! Im rooting for you
OrangeSpider
Active Member
Sorry to hear about this, we have all been there way too many times. But its time to get back up and man up; do those baby steps all over again. We are here for you.
BabySteps
Active Member
Day 3
This lock down is really a stress increasing factor. You sit in the house the whole day. There seems to be no cure not vaccine for this COVID-19.
It's been a wild ride, finding myself binging to LIVE cams. I will spend 4 to 6 hours masturbating to this cam girls.
I decided to stop watching couples banging each other, rather watch a CAM girl masturbating than watch a couple doing it. I saw myself getting less excited by this cam girls. It's even hard to retain a erection while watching this girls.
So I decided to put a stop. I want to have a family and a stable job. So wish to keep login to this site everyday so that I stop deceiving myself into thinking I'm in control, while it's usually the opposite. Plan to do a daily update of my progress.
This lock down is really a stress increasing factor. You sit in the house the whole day. There seems to be no cure not vaccine for this COVID-19.
It's been a wild ride, finding myself binging to LIVE cams. I will spend 4 to 6 hours masturbating to this cam girls.
I decided to stop watching couples banging each other, rather watch a CAM girl masturbating than watch a couple doing it. I saw myself getting less excited by this cam girls. It's even hard to retain a erection while watching this girls.
So I decided to put a stop. I want to have a family and a stable job. So wish to keep login to this site everyday so that I stop deceiving myself into thinking I'm in control, while it's usually the opposite. Plan to do a daily update of my progress.
ShadeTrenicin
Well-Known Member
Hey BabySteps,
Great job on reaching 6 days again!
No PMO = excellent
No cravings = good
Only regrets = something that might not be beneficial for your mental health.
The funny thing with regret is, is that it puts yourself in a negative position. You regret that YOU the person did something that you do not approve of.
You can never win that way! The same with you wishing to stop masturbation forever. In its basic form masturbation is a part of being human and there is nothing bad about it. Whats shit about P is that it totally fucks up the function of natural masturbation and messed you up mentally. I think the goal is to reach that natural level of masturbation. However, that is my opinion and that may not coinside with your vision.
But what i want to point out in this is the negative approach to a relapse and masturbation, if you keep punishing yourself for having an addiction (a relapse is still part of the addiction) or natural behaviour you will have a very difficult time ridding yourself of the addiction.
I've said this to you before, but you are only human and you are not unique in having relapses! Read all our threads, we all have them and feel bad about them for a short while. They are the challenges that we must face, but they are also the chances we can take to better ourself and learn why relapses happen (and when and where). By learning from our mistakes we can change our behaviour and mental patterns and so, gradually build towards a porn free life.
Im rooting for you man! Keep it up and please, love yourself and dont be hard on yourself.
If you are ever in need of love, support or just to rant, please come and post here! We are here for you
Great job on reaching 6 days again!
No PMO = excellent
No cravings = good
Only regrets = something that might not be beneficial for your mental health.
The funny thing with regret is, is that it puts yourself in a negative position. You regret that YOU the person did something that you do not approve of.
You can never win that way! The same with you wishing to stop masturbation forever. In its basic form masturbation is a part of being human and there is nothing bad about it. Whats shit about P is that it totally fucks up the function of natural masturbation and messed you up mentally. I think the goal is to reach that natural level of masturbation. However, that is my opinion and that may not coinside with your vision.
But what i want to point out in this is the negative approach to a relapse and masturbation, if you keep punishing yourself for having an addiction (a relapse is still part of the addiction) or natural behaviour you will have a very difficult time ridding yourself of the addiction.
I've said this to you before, but you are only human and you are not unique in having relapses! Read all our threads, we all have them and feel bad about them for a short while. They are the challenges that we must face, but they are also the chances we can take to better ourself and learn why relapses happen (and when and where). By learning from our mistakes we can change our behaviour and mental patterns and so, gradually build towards a porn free life.
Im rooting for you man! Keep it up and please, love yourself and dont be hard on yourself.
If you are ever in need of love, support or just to rant, please come and post here! We are here for you
BabySteps
Active Member
Hey Shades
True that this negative approach is counter productive, I've just been bruised by pmo for a long time.
It usually starts with just masturbating without pornography, and it escalates to using and binging on pornography. I find myself failing to concentrate on nothing else but pornography.
Thanks a lot for your comment buddy.
True that this negative approach is counter productive, I've just been bruised by pmo for a long time.
It usually starts with just masturbating without pornography, and it escalates to using and binging on pornography. I find myself failing to concentrate on nothing else but pornography.
Thanks a lot for your comment buddy.
ShadeTrenicin
Well-Known Member
Hey BabySteps,
It's okay that you are bruised by PMO. Nothing wrong with that. Could you perhaps look at yourself and that you used to PMO a lot without judgement, but with compassion. Try to see yourself as someone in need of something. What that something is, is something that you need to figure out yourself. But if you feel an urge, try to close your eyes and think of yourself and just ask yourself what it is that you need emotionally..
Other than that what i've found helpful is the following;
1. Recognize the urge
2. Allow the urge to exist (you cannot will or push it away) just let it be and analyze
3. Investigate why the urge is there. (is there something inside of you that makes you want to resort to PMO)
4. Realize that the urge is temporary
5. Recall the feeling of emptiness after a PMO wank
6. (optional if the urge is really strong) Resort to a sort of non-sexual activity such as housework, sports, hobbies.
Good luck man! Keep on posting, it helps you it helps us (borrowed from joepanic)
It's okay that you are bruised by PMO. Nothing wrong with that. Could you perhaps look at yourself and that you used to PMO a lot without judgement, but with compassion. Try to see yourself as someone in need of something. What that something is, is something that you need to figure out yourself. But if you feel an urge, try to close your eyes and think of yourself and just ask yourself what it is that you need emotionally..
Other than that what i've found helpful is the following;
1. Recognize the urge
2. Allow the urge to exist (you cannot will or push it away) just let it be and analyze
3. Investigate why the urge is there. (is there something inside of you that makes you want to resort to PMO)
4. Realize that the urge is temporary
5. Recall the feeling of emptiness after a PMO wank
6. (optional if the urge is really strong) Resort to a sort of non-sexual activity such as housework, sports, hobbies.
Good luck man! Keep on posting, it helps you it helps us (borrowed from joepanic)