Joyful journal

[Jeks]

He also suggests 3 methods to quit your internet addiction:

- Cold Turkey: Just don't turn your computer at all. No more than 5 minutes of using your computer per day.
- Seeing the computer as a tool for working and nothing else: Use it for work only. Any form of online entertainment is not allowed.
- Only before X:XX and after X:XX

I myself find that internet has too big of a presence in my life and found these ideas most inspiring. Porn and internet addiction are very close to one another and there is a good chance, that when you find yourself having problems with porn, you also have a problem with internet use to a certain extent.

Much strength on fighting the good fight.

 

[kopp]

@Jeks I agree 100%! Porn addiction IS an internet addiction! It's all linked to too much dopamine obtained too easily! Porn makes it even worse by linking it to orgasm.

So new decision according to what I read and posted yesterday: I won't spend more than an hour in the couch.

Today it makes 49 hours without relapse. I had little urges this morning.
I again woke up as soon as the alarm rung. I asked myself "Are you a man?" and woke up despite my desire to stay and a little headache.

I started the computer at 8, not 9. Still, it's a progress. I turned it off at 5.30 yesterday, I just checked my phone a bit after my workout.
Also, after waking up I: wrote my thoughts on paper, meditated for 20 minutes, stretched, made 5 minutes workout for shoulders and neck, made a breathing exercise, made a pelvis exercise (in order to learn to control my ejaculation during sex)
Once I'm done writing here I'll go for a 5 minutes cold shower (only cold water!).

The negative point is: I don't know what to do after that. I still feel unmotivated to work / to do anything difficult. I don't have much brain fog anymore but I still have very little willpower. Focusing is hard, I often switch between tabs, open new ones...

Yesterday I went biking with my girlfriend then we had an excellent legs workout. I'm getting stronger and stronger everyday. My body is much better now than it was 2 months ago.

It's been almost an hour that I'm reading and writing on the couch. Time to take a cold shower. Stay strong brothers!

 

[kopp]

The 5 minutes cold shower (cold only!) was a huge boost to my energy. It was incredible.
I spent more time on the computer than I was supposed to and stayed on the couch far too long because my desk was taken.

The good parts: I had a very good chest and biceps workout, I was focused on working for 2 hours straight this morning, which is something I was struggling with lately! I'm making progress.

An excellent definition of addiction, by Gary Wilson and shared here by DoneAtLast : continued use despite negative consequences.
I kept staying on the computer watching entertaining and useless stuff despite knowing it's not good and hurting my back and my head. I have a severe internet addiction.

Stay strong brothers

 

[quitforeverthenwin2]

Cold showers are great and so are good workouts! Keep up the good work

 

[kopp]

Thank you

I woke early and this time I didn't even feel like staying in bed. No more brain fog, no more laziness.
I have a huge energy this morning. I wrote a page on paper, made my small neck + shoulders workout. I'll meditate and stretch and take a cold shower.

I feel much much better.
I don't feel like watching entertaining shit, I WANT to work. I feel a burning desire to do productive things.

I had sex without orgasm last night (my girlfriend had an orgasm, I didn't. I like it this way).

I feel like a beast, I have so much energy, I'm so powerful!

 

[kopp]

I went out for a walk with my girlfriend and I felt so much energy that we decided to go back home, change, come back for a run.

There's a 1.36km (0.84 miles) "circuit" (road) near us and we've been running through it a lot during quarantine. But I had to stop. After hitting a record, I started feeling hurt and I couldn't run as fast as before. I was sad to run slower and slower. I tried beating my record twice and failed twice by a lot. I stopped running.

This morning I beat my record by... 20 seconds. It's huge. I was running so fast, I was a freaking rocket. I'm a champion guys. You are champions

 

[quitforeverthenwin2]

You are champion!! Massive congrats on beating that record bro, that's a huge win, keep up the good work!

 

[kopp]

Thank you man!

Day 4
I went out biking with my girlfriend today. Woke up early but not as early as the two previous days.
I felt lazy, I haven't stretched and meditated yet.
I've wasted most of my morning if front of the computer doing nothing. I read about what's happening in America. So many things wrong on so many levels. I started the computer too early. I'm struggling with my "not before 9 / not after 5.30" rule.
Mood is OK, not as good as yesterday but OK.

Yesterday I also had a good back, triceps and shoulders workout.

I'm doing fine, I should be learning a few things before starting my new job but I don't feel a huge pressure to do it... I'll be fine.

Love you guys

 

[kopp]

Day 5
Woke up early again. I had sexual thoughts and edged for like 3 minutes this morning.
The situation is under control now. I got up, stretched, made a mini workout... I'll go for a walk listening to a book about nice guy syndrom.

Yesterday I had sex with my girlfriend, without orgasm/ejaculation, which explains why I was so excited waking up.
It's better than ejaculating so I'm ok with that. I'll just try to avoid sex today and I should be fine.

My love life is great. My energy is starting to come back. I'm no longer afraid to have to work soon: I know I'll be fine, I know I can focus now.

I feel like conquering the world

 

[kopp]

Quote from Gary Wilson, creator of yourbrainonporn.com, about Edging:

Is edging bad?
Yes, in fact it's worse. The reason is simple: instead of achieving orgasm and ending it, you train your brain to be bathing in chemicals for hours. It's the worst thing you can do, bar none. The worst. If you began and realise what you are doing in time, stop or rush to the end. Whatever you do, don't keep the pace. Most of us weren't addicted to PMO, but rather to PEO.

I agree 100% with him. Edging for hours is worst than masturbating for 10 minutes and orgasming.
No more edging!

 

[kopp]

Day 6

This is the hardest day of my current streak.
It's been two days in a row that I wake up with sexual thoughts. I've edged for a minute this morning. I kinda wake-up in half-zombie mode and my first thoughts are sexual...
Yesterday I went out for a 1 hour walk, then I had 35 minutes of biking with my girlfriend and 1h of working out (legs&abs), all while fasting.
In the afternoon I was KO, I couldn't focus.

I've been eating junk food recently, because I'm not at my home so I don't always control what food is on the table.
My balls feel like they're going to explode, I have some cravings.

This morning I went out for a run. I'll go pick some strawberries and then I'll workout (chest and biceps).
I don't do anything that involves thinking deep, working, staying focused...
Tomorrow is the first day of my new job, I'll work from home but meet my colleagues at lunch time.

Mood is just OK. Exhausted, not very enthusiastic... not too negative either. 10/20. I can do better, I WILL do better

 

[Chris Oz]

Good luck on your new job haaks.

For the urges.... Why not you get it off and have some good time with you're girlfriend... Since she's available. It'd help turn your attention to her when it comes to sex I think.... That's if you don't have a rule not to have sex

It'd get easier with time. Wishing you another day, week, month of sobrierity. Keep focusing on why you're doing this in the first place

Keep pushing!

 

[kopp]

Day 9

Thank you Chris!

For the urges.... Why not you get it off and have some good time with you're girlfriend... Since she's available. It'd help turn your attention to her when it comes to sex I think.... That's if you don't have a rule not to have sex

That's what I ended up doing
The urges were so strong, sex was the only thing I could think of.
What happened is: we had sex 3 times, I didn't orgasm. But I kinda went too far and had "blue balls".
I read that it's possible to orgasm without ejaculating - so you do have the pleasure and you don't have neither the blue balls nor the tiredness that comes with ejaculating. I'm trying to do this but I can't do it so far.

I wanted to avoid ejaculating before my first day of work but I couldn't resist.

So anyway, day 9!
My first day of work went well! I work remotely for now but I got to meet my new colleagues for lunch. They're all very clever, it will force me to step up my level and I will learn a lot.

When I look into the mirror I'm very proud of the progress I made on my body in the last 3 months. I've been working out 77 days out of the last 86 days.
I highly recommend you guys read Atomic Habits by James Clear, it's an easy to read book full of practical stuff to get rid ouf bad habits and build good ones. I took so many good habits due to this book and I also understood better how I could change my environnement and life to get rid of the PMO habit.

Today I want to: sign my contract, declare my taxes, have a good day of work, workout tonight and cook 2 healthy meals. Before work I want to stretch, meditate and take a cold shower

Stay strong brothers!

 

[Sanders]

Hey Kopp,

Your progress in life is great man. Not just getting rid of the porn but your whole approach to changing your lifestyle! I think it's better to focus on all of these new factors in your life than fearing a relapse. It's an inspiration to see how you're developping yourself into a much healthier person in many different ways. Keep on going!

 

[kopp]

Day 10 guys!

Thank you Sanders

Yesterday I've been able to focus very well for hours. That's what I needed!
The negative point is that as soon as my girlfriend left the flat, I had urges & was tempted to fap. The fact that I have porn blockers on my phone and computer has helped resist it.
I have big sexual energy today but I should avoid relapsing because I won't be home.

I slept well, mood is good, I'm happy today This is going to be a big day.

I also had a good pecs, biceps and shoulders workout. And an intense conversation with my girlfriend. And reconnected to an old friend

Keep fighting brothers!

 

[Chris Oz]

Wow, I'm proud of you and how far you've gone..... I'm on 10 days too and I'm so happy to say that.

I

I read that it's possible to orgasm without ejaculating - so you do have the pleasure and you don't have neither the blue balls nor the tiredness that comes with ejaculating. I'm trying to do this but I can't do it so far.

I wanted to avoid ejaculating before my first day of work but I couldn't resist.

So about this, I didn't know that were actually possible, I would really love to learn to do this... It'd would help with the sexual experience


Keep fighting man hard man!

 

[kopp]

@Chris have a look at "non ejaculatory orgasm". I've tried but never succeed yet
Thank you Keep fighting!

Day 11

I don't have much time to write today but I'm doing well. I had sex yesterday night, I feel fine today.
I had a good day of work, I could focus, I'm happy about that. My colleagues are nice. I've been too shy with them though, I could've spoke more. I did a great job.
Today is gonna go fast: I'll see a physiotherapist, go back home, then go to work, then go to my gf's parents place.

Negative point: I only did a small workout yesterday and I wont have time to do one today either
Mood: 8/10 I feel good

 

[Doctor Who]

I had an involuntary non-ejaculation orgasm last week (before I started this attempt).

I was dreaming about running away from someone chasing me, and I slowly woke up. It was weird, like being stuck between my dream, and being awake. My legs squeezed together, and I felt myself experience an orgasm. I woke up fully with a rapid heartbeat, slight sweat, feeling a little drained, and I checked my boxer shorts, my trousers my bed, and my penis. No leakage whatsoever. Dry as a desert.

So in my case, it wasn't even a sexual dream. Just a normal one, and no leakage. Not sure what happened, except maybe my legs squeezed against something too much.

 

[kopp]

That's impressive and also kinda strange

Day 11 (yeah I previously made an error at some point)

I woke up early, energized. I had sex with my girlfriend. We had sex 3 times in the last 6 days and I'm not suffering too much yet. I get a bit tired after sex every time though. I'm less energized than when I woke up.

I had a good day yesterday: time at the physiotherapist (I'm in much better shape than I was 6 months ago and my back is stronger and almost never hurt anymore), good day of productive work and good meal with my gf's family yesterday night.

Today I want to do a back workout, less heavy than usual, focusing on form as my physio suggested.
I also want to do more neck exercises

 

[kopp]

So today marks my 90th day of working out, it's time for a checkup.
I'll put a before/after picture of my torso, ignore this post if this is a trigger for you ;D

https://i.postimg.cc/qv0kYNzv/before-after.png

I'm not flexing in either of the pictures.

You can't see it because of the before picture but I have a wider neck.
I have wider and more defined shoulders, less fat on abs. Arms are bigger even if it doesn't show much on the picture but I def notice it when I flex them in the mirror.
My pecs are less flabby.

I lost fat and took +2kg (5,5lbs). It's not much, I could get more mass eating more food. I practice Intermittent Fasting (don't eat in the morning) so there's that.
I was not in total control of the food I ate lately, I would've been less fat if I did.

I have a more athletic look overall. You can't see it but I have bigger legs and calves and above all a wider, more muscular back. My abs are bigger but there's still some fat above them.

Including the workout I'll do tonight, I'll have worked out 80 out of the 90 last days (sometimes only for 2 minutes, sometimes for 1 hour)
I didn't take it very seriously, I indulged in much more bad food than I usually do (due to the quarantine) and didn't give 100% of my energy at every workout.
I could have done better. I'm pretty proud of how consistent I've been though and I feel much more athletic now!

Let's make the 90 following days even better
My goal is to gain 3 more kg (6,6lbs) of mostly muscle and look defined.

Stay strong brothers!