Joyful journal
- Thread starter kopp
- Start date
Day 12
I've done a "dopamine detox" those last two days: very limited usage of screens and embracing boredom.
I used my screen only to read a workout program on one day and to read about investing the next day. Very limited usage of my phone - I just listened to a podcast yesterday. I finished a book, read the whole workout program and started another book.
I've had a 20 minutes meditation session 2 days ago and a 30 minutes one this morning.
I love it so much! It resets my brain, it sets it up for happiness.
I had a one hour walk with my stepmother while my girlfriend was out with a friend of her. I enjoyed it, she's really interesting and I like her.
I've also had good workouts and good times with my girlfriend. And I'm helping her cousin learn how to swim. And I've helped my brother understand some computer programming concepts. And he agreed to join a boxing club with me in September. I'm so happy about this.
Oh yes I never said it but, 90% of the times I workout, my girlfriend works out with me. It's a good moment we share together.
Getting a more muscular back helps me having a better posture.
I've done a "dopamine detox" those last two days: very limited usage of screens and embracing boredom.
I used my screen only to read a workout program on one day and to read about investing the next day. Very limited usage of my phone - I just listened to a podcast yesterday. I finished a book, read the whole workout program and started another book.
I've had a 20 minutes meditation session 2 days ago and a 30 minutes one this morning.
I love it so much! It resets my brain, it sets it up for happiness.
I had a one hour walk with my stepmother while my girlfriend was out with a friend of her. I enjoyed it, she's really interesting and I like her.
I've also had good workouts and good times with my girlfriend. And I'm helping her cousin learn how to swim. And I've helped my brother understand some computer programming concepts. And he agreed to join a boxing club with me in September. I'm so happy about this.
Oh yes I never said it but, 90% of the times I workout, my girlfriend works out with me. It's a good moment we share together.
Getting a more muscular back helps me having a better posture.
Hey man,
Steady progress I see
Interesting how much you can actually achieve without screens, I should cut down a bit more too. Filling your head up with new and positive things will more and more push the porn out hopefully. So much time and good activities in your life! I'm happy for you.
Steady progress I see
Interesting how much you can actually achieve without screens, I should cut down a bit more too. Filling your head up with new and positive things will more and more push the porn out hopefully. So much time and good activities in your life! I'm happy for you.Hey guys Thanks for your support.
I'm on day 21.
I'll post more later but for now I just want to say I've been doing great so far.
I'm afraid for tonight though. I'll be alone for the first time since my last relapse. I already feel urges this morning - and my girlfriend is still with me for now.
What I plan to do when I get home:
Meditation - 20 or 30 minutes
Workout - 45 minutes (chest & biceps)
Eat and then read. Cut screens at 8, be in bed before 10
Every time I have a strong urge: I'll post here
Thanks for your support.I'm on day 21.
I'll post more later but for now I just want to say I've been doing great so far.
I'm afraid for tonight though. I'll be alone for the first time since my last relapse. I already feel urges this morning - and my girlfriend is still with me for now.
What I plan to do when I get home:
Meditation - 20 or 30 minutes
Workout - 45 minutes (chest & biceps)
Eat and then read. Cut screens at 8, be in bed before 10
Every time I have a strong urge: I'll post here
Sanders said:
I wasn't in the end.
I experienced the strongest urges I had in years that night - I was shaking a lot. I relapsed. I did nothing of what I said I'd do.
Thinking about my life has been really painful lately.
On the positive side: I got braces to fix my teeth. Eating is painful and I lost a decent amount of weight in 4 days - I had struggled to take that weight on for 4 months... but hey, I'll get a good smile out of this. I keep on working out, not as good as before but I keep showing up.
I still relapse but not often, and always due to feeling and being lonely. I understand more and more that my real problem is internet addiction more than porn now: I don't watch porn often but I do spend far too much time on internet...
My girlfriend has been wonderful to me lately. I love her so much.
I'm afraid for the future of my country - it's becoming more and more violent and full of idiots.
I'm on day 7. I've been clear 32 days out of the last 34.
Hey man,
I'm sorry to hear what happened. There's a bit of a change of tone in your entry compared to the happier earlier ones, I'm happy though to see that there's positive sides as well! Cling on to the great things and forget about the things you can't control. The future of your country, US?, is something that nobody can really control. I can't really imagine the reality of it though, I can only see it through the media's portrayal.
I hope you can refind your happy spirit again. You're still a great guy and working to become even better. Mind if I ask about the loneliness? Is it corona-specific or are you facing other difficulties in your life? I have similar feelings sometimes, it's though. I can be with a group of people but I don't really feel like I belong. Pretty strange.
Anyways, best of luck again, I like the 32 out of 34 mention. Not looking at the setback as a total failure, you've been so many days without!
I'm sorry to hear what happened. There's a bit of a change of tone in your entry compared to the happier earlier ones, I'm happy though to see that there's positive sides as well! Cling on to the great things and forget about the things you can't control. The future of your country, US?, is something that nobody can really control. I can't really imagine the reality of it though, I can only see it through the media's portrayal.
I hope you can refind your happy spirit again. You're still a great guy and working to become even better. Mind if I ask about the loneliness? Is it corona-specific or are you facing other difficulties in your life? I have similar feelings sometimes, it's though. I can be with a group of people but I don't really feel like I belong. Pretty strange.
Anyways, best of luck again, I like the 32 out of 34 mention. Not looking at the setback as a total failure, you've been so many days without!
Hi guys, I don't have much time to write here but I'm doing very well. I'm on day 39, clean 65 days out of 67. Chris, Sanders, thank you for the support, you are amazing people!
This is now my top priority and I'm going to work on it
I'll come back to answer your question about loneliness, and to catch up on your journals!
Sanders said:
This is now my top priority and I'm going to work on it
I'll come back to answer your question about loneliness, and to catch up on your journals!
I've been clean 239 days out of the last 250. I have relapsed 3 times in the past 7 days.
2020 had been a good year for me regarding this nofap thing. I'm having difficulties lately.
Strangely the trigger was... having real sex, often, with my girlfriend. I then craved novelty and I relapsed, thinking that "only once wouldn't hurt" and of course, it did.
I feel anxiety now as I'm supposed to look for a new job but feel so stressed.
In the last 10 days I have had a hard time focusing and I lost my discipline.
I want to work on one thing: my ability to focus long hours on a single thing
Good things:
I did good in 2020 in terms of finance
I've been working out 4-6 days a week for 5 months
I've been there for my girlfriend during very hard times
I've spent time with my parents, our relationship is so much better now
It's only in the past 10 days or so that I've been feeling down. So I hope it'll pass soon. I will abstain from sex for at least a few days and will abstain from porn hopefully forever
I feel "meh", like 5/10. I've had far worse relapses in my past but I have some anxiety and difficulty to focus
I hope you are all doing well, I wish you all the best
2020 had been a good year for me regarding this nofap thing. I'm having difficulties lately.
Strangely the trigger was... having real sex, often, with my girlfriend. I then craved novelty and I relapsed, thinking that "only once wouldn't hurt" and of course, it did.
I feel anxiety now as I'm supposed to look for a new job but feel so stressed.
In the last 10 days I have had a hard time focusing and I lost my discipline.
I want to work on one thing: my ability to focus long hours on a single thing
Good things:
I did good in 2020 in terms of finance
I've been working out 4-6 days a week for 5 months
I've been there for my girlfriend during very hard times
I've spent time with my parents, our relationship is so much better now
It's only in the past 10 days or so that I've been feeling down. So I hope it'll pass soon. I will abstain from sex for at least a few days and will abstain from porn hopefully forever
I feel "meh", like 5/10. I've had far worse relapses in my past but I have some anxiety and difficulty to focus
I hope you are all doing well, I wish you all the best
Reading my past posts I realize how much I achieved in so many areas. My life is good. I just have an anxiety attack that shouldn't last more than a day. I need my brain to go back to normal hormone levels.
It's strange feeling that bad when in reality everything around me ranges from OK to awesome.
I'll focus on work and avoid other screen usage today.
Tonight I'm working out with my girlfriend.
I crave intimacy so much right now
It's strange feeling that bad when in reality everything around me ranges from OK to awesome.
I'll focus on work and avoid other screen usage today.
Tonight I'm working out with my girlfriend.
I crave intimacy so much right now
Hey Kopp!
Good to see you here and writing about your struggles. Well not the relapses I mean, but good you're taking the step to be accountable here and acknowledge your struggles.
It's good your life has been going so well for the last months! Keep the good things going
Good to see you here and writing about your struggles. Well not the relapses I mean, but good you're taking the step to be accountable here and acknowledge your struggles.
It's good your life has been going so well for the last months! Keep the good things going
E
escapeandnevercomeback
Guest
kopp said:Thank you Sanders
Today my anxiety is only 20% what it was yesterday.
I've been working all morning, I'm doing OK.
I took a 5 minutes long cold shower, that helps start the day.
I worked out yesterday and will work out again tonight
Great, man! This proves once again that we don't feel the same all day everyday. Better days come, there is no need to use porn as a cope.