Sentimental_geek
Active Member
After a second relapse yesterday I managed to force myself to get out the house. I was walking through town I literally felt drunk. Nearly walking into people and things and could not string a sentence together when in shops. Not good. I went to the gym and did some hard cardio and that helped clear the mind abit then came home, ate, studies and chilled out. It was mabey just enough to make me realise that the cycle has to be broken no matter how hard it is.
Today I've felt much better and as I write, just before going to bed I can say today has been porn free! A small success! But i'm disappointing in how this is going for me. Luckily I have my first proper therapy appointment on Thursday. THis therapy is purely about my porn addiction. The place specialises in psychosexual issues. So there is no Hiding it. I will be discussing with a therapist how porn addiction has effected my life and trying to find a way out the hole. Feels a bit odd even writing this as the only place i've ever been open about it is on forums like this and in personal message accountability things. But now it comes face to face with a therapist. I'm a bit scared to be honest. But I also know from previous therapy experience that it can do a lot of help. And thats what I need for this is help! I've been aware of my addiction for about 6 years now and in a cycle of reboot and relapse. Its got worse again over the last couple of years, gradually, after some initial success. So here I go! Its my intention to stay clean between now and thursday.
Today I've felt much better and as I write, just before going to bed I can say today has been porn free! A small success! But i'm disappointing in how this is going for me. Luckily I have my first proper therapy appointment on Thursday. THis therapy is purely about my porn addiction. The place specialises in psychosexual issues. So there is no Hiding it. I will be discussing with a therapist how porn addiction has effected my life and trying to find a way out the hole. Feels a bit odd even writing this as the only place i've ever been open about it is on forums like this and in personal message accountability things. But now it comes face to face with a therapist. I'm a bit scared to be honest. But I also know from previous therapy experience that it can do a lot of help. And thats what I need for this is help! I've been aware of my addiction for about 6 years now and in a cycle of reboot and relapse. Its got worse again over the last couple of years, gradually, after some initial success. So here I go! Its my intention to stay clean between now and thursday.