Hello reboot nation
Well I thought I?d make a post, since I?ve been reading for months. My story is similar to many on here. Discovered MO around 13 yrs, and p*rn around late teens /early 20s. HSIP after that (fairly vanilla). And presumably PIED, increasingly worse in the last 3ish years. Incredibly frustrating. I started rebooting February 2018 (no PMO, no MO) after doing some research on the google box. Between Your Brain on Porn and this site I have a pretty good idea of what needs to be done and have made some progress. I am married 10 years and have 2 wonderful kids, so the distractions are plentiful. Today was D-Day 2.0- not purposely hiding anything but definitely nervous about bringing it up with my wife. Anyway, while prepping our basement for renovation earlier today I found some cigarette cartons and adult mags from the previous owners (along with a high school ID and temporary drivers license, all from 1974- and 2 medals from WW1. Pretty cool!) and that started the conversation. She noticed how fit and nice looking the models were.. I just told her I want it gone because it effects me differently (badly!) and I?m convinced p*rn in general has caused my problems and I want to focus on us- real people. She obviously has experienced the PIED with me but wouldn?t have known it is porn related. Conversations continued while making dinner. Bottom line, I tried my best to explain the theory behind PIED in a busy situation with many interruptions from children and gave her the link to YBOP. She is neutral on porn, it doesn?t really bother her much. Of course there were many interruptions and she had to work early tonight so it wasn?t ideal. D-day 1.0 was another episode of PIED I explained that MO to images was off the table for me (suspect of ED), real deal between us only.
Reboot has been going ok. Morning wood is fairly consistent now. Besides that it?s a dead dick scenario. The only blips have been in the past few weeks- my work crew started a new tv series and it definitely has some mature content. We watch together during down time so it is difficult to avoid. I?m relatively new to this workplace (1.25 yrs into my dream career) and want to do things as a team. So this exposure is definitely different than past, as in it is not PMO but some segments are very P like. And even leafing through the adult mag I found today was enough to trigger the lizard brain and get my pulse racing. Before this I was clean of P and trying to change my mindset and how I view women (still am trying obviously). I feel like I have been objectifying women my whole life. Compulsively checking out, and that needs to stop. Also introverted, socially unsure and type B personality in a work field dominated by type As. Not expecting to change every part of me but a normal amount of self confidence couldn?t hurt.
Soooo that was a long post. Ask me anything, I?m not a gifted writer obviously. I?m sure pieces of story are missing. Im grateful for any suggestions and hope to be able to contribute. I?m not planning on journaling everyday but maybe now and then. I wanted to say thanks for this forum, I have learned a lot from everyone.
PE30, we started around the same time in February with a bunch of others who have dropped off. Keep on fighting. You are a huge encouragement to me.
I appreciate you all. We will beat this.
Well I thought I?d make a post, since I?ve been reading for months. My story is similar to many on here. Discovered MO around 13 yrs, and p*rn around late teens /early 20s. HSIP after that (fairly vanilla). And presumably PIED, increasingly worse in the last 3ish years. Incredibly frustrating. I started rebooting February 2018 (no PMO, no MO) after doing some research on the google box. Between Your Brain on Porn and this site I have a pretty good idea of what needs to be done and have made some progress. I am married 10 years and have 2 wonderful kids, so the distractions are plentiful. Today was D-Day 2.0- not purposely hiding anything but definitely nervous about bringing it up with my wife. Anyway, while prepping our basement for renovation earlier today I found some cigarette cartons and adult mags from the previous owners (along with a high school ID and temporary drivers license, all from 1974- and 2 medals from WW1. Pretty cool!) and that started the conversation. She noticed how fit and nice looking the models were.. I just told her I want it gone because it effects me differently (badly!) and I?m convinced p*rn in general has caused my problems and I want to focus on us- real people. She obviously has experienced the PIED with me but wouldn?t have known it is porn related. Conversations continued while making dinner. Bottom line, I tried my best to explain the theory behind PIED in a busy situation with many interruptions from children and gave her the link to YBOP. She is neutral on porn, it doesn?t really bother her much. Of course there were many interruptions and she had to work early tonight so it wasn?t ideal. D-day 1.0 was another episode of PIED I explained that MO to images was off the table for me (suspect of ED), real deal between us only.
Reboot has been going ok. Morning wood is fairly consistent now. Besides that it?s a dead dick scenario. The only blips have been in the past few weeks- my work crew started a new tv series and it definitely has some mature content. We watch together during down time so it is difficult to avoid. I?m relatively new to this workplace (1.25 yrs into my dream career) and want to do things as a team. So this exposure is definitely different than past, as in it is not PMO but some segments are very P like. And even leafing through the adult mag I found today was enough to trigger the lizard brain and get my pulse racing. Before this I was clean of P and trying to change my mindset and how I view women (still am trying obviously). I feel like I have been objectifying women my whole life. Compulsively checking out, and that needs to stop. Also introverted, socially unsure and type B personality in a work field dominated by type As. Not expecting to change every part of me but a normal amount of self confidence couldn?t hurt.
Soooo that was a long post. Ask me anything, I?m not a gifted writer obviously. I?m sure pieces of story are missing. Im grateful for any suggestions and hope to be able to contribute. I?m not planning on journaling everyday but maybe now and then. I wanted to say thanks for this forum, I have learned a lot from everyone.
PE30, we started around the same time in February with a bunch of others who have dropped off. Keep on fighting. You are a huge encouragement to me.
I appreciate you all. We will beat this.