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changemylife
Guest
Kaingang said:
Pleasure is a vicious circle. It last a little then you want more and then it last a little, you want more... And the circle goes over and over. Happiness is something very hard to achieve but once you find your happiness, it lasts for life. Happiness, in my opinion, is the peace of mind. The balance in your life. Being happy with who you are and what you're life is. I can't say in this moment I fit any of that criteria. But I fit the criteria of pleasure sicker. Pleasure never lasts too much. I've reached the point where it doesn't even last at all. Even when I relapse, we're talking about a few minutes of pleasure. It's not worth it. There is a reason why Buddhists, for example, don't want to live for pleasure. I guess when you become an addict, you understand really really well why you don't want to be the slave of pleasure. I liked pleasure now I detest it.
People make a confusion and see happiness as pleasure. Pleasure doesn't lead to happiness. They are 2 different things. One can be very destructive. It's been very destructive in my life. Namely pleasure.
I want to find my peace of mind but who knows how fucking long this will take.
it is true. Pleasure is always quick and easy to access. always comes with some form of pain. it's never enough. always ask for more and more. happiness or peace is not something you need to looking for outside. it just comes from within you. maybe that's why it's so hard to achieve. I think we already know what we don't want for our lives. a life guided by pleasure. slaves of momentary pleasures that leave us miserable when their effect ends. one way is harder than the other but for sure. but it's the best way to go.
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changemylife
Guest
This fucking brain has a way to make me think that a relapse is okay. "You're going throw tough times now: You have urges, you're emotions fluctuate so this is pretty hard. You could relapse today, to 'calm yourself down' and then you can always quit next time." And this message becomes so fucking believable! But, of course I've been through this before and I know it doesn't work because there is never a "next time" when I'm more balanced, when urges are easier or whatever. So that fucking message that my brain is trying to tell me goes out the window. Bye-bye.
Hard urges inevitable come. But I might as well go through them once and that's it instead of going through them over and over again because I restart after a relapse.
Hard urges inevitable come. But I might as well go through them once and that's it instead of going through them over and over again because I restart after a relapse.
changemylife said:
Right on! I wish I remembered all that before my last slip. Keep reminding yourself. Never put yourself in the situation where it's easy to relapse. Pay extra effort to discipline your brain and fight off ridiculous ideas like that one. Always respond to your brain that way: If a relapse will make it easy for the coming days, not relapsing will make it easier FOREVER. You don't need that extra round of urges in the future and that's why you prefer to kill them off now than to relapse then inevitably suffer again.
Remember, betraying your resolutions will weaken them for you! Next time won't be easier and more balanced, it would be harder and more tiresome. If you're looking for the easiest reboot available then it's the one you're doing right now.
Stay strong and focused!
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changemylife
Guest
Omarov, thanks man! That's right. As my mind has never been my ally, I don't need to listen to all the bullshit it tells me. It's only good for "it" but not good for me. The easier period after a relapse seems like a worth escape from withdrawal but it's not. It's just postponing the next round of withdrawal. I might as well go through it once and be done with cause it never gets easier for me anyway.
At this point I'm only a porn junkie who practices PMO to stop the withdrawal. There is no fun anymore.
At this point I'm only a porn junkie who practices PMO to stop the withdrawal. There is no fun anymore.
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changemylife
Guest
The LIGHT can be seen the best in DARKNESS.
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changemylife
Guest
Today I feel pretty well mentally. Pretty balanced. The last days have been rough. But it's crazy that I feel well with my grandma bitching in my fucking kitchen.
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changemylife
Guest
Thanks man! I've been appreciating your support since day 1.
This is important. after relapses we become more anxious, depressed and taken by different feelings that become even more difficult to cure this addiction. Our minds are always seeking some kind of satisfaction. We must be careful not to fool ourselves once more. We must be committed and use our intelligence for a better life. Stay strong!
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changemylife
Guest
Thanks, man! Thanks for your support.
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changemylife
Guest
I always remind myself to walk away from triggers. I was watching a TV series which was interesting but had "Softcore porn" scenes. They don't call it like that, obviously, but that's what they are. Just because it's not a "Softcore movie" it doesn't mean their scenes are not. And I hate those motherfuckers for doing this shit. Using porn to sell their shows, to make people watch. The first Softcore scene started but I skipped a few minutes later. All good then another one, more intense starts. I said: "You know what? Fuck that! I'm done! I'm not watching this show anymore if it's gonna have too much of this." I'm staying away from all those triggers even if it means missing out shows and stuff cause it's a tightrope, the smallest step wrong and I go back to binging. I don't need this right now.
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changemylife
Guest
Often, in order to quit an addiction, a guy needs to change his lifestyle and mindset. I thought about how should I start. I took a paper and wrote down what was detrimental for my recovery and then I've done the following things:
- I've stopped watching movies or series that have "softcore porn" in them (sex scenes, strippers dancing, naked tits etc). The reason is obvious.
- I've stopped visiting social media completely. The reason: Too many pictures that push me to seeking for more.
- When I need Youtube, I always log in so I could avoid the triggers in the thumbnail;
- I've stopped listening to sad, depressing music. It makes me... you got it: Sad and depressed which leads to: "I'll drink something or PMO to make myself feel a little better". I've thrown away such music and kept only the music without such attitude.
- I've been trying to avoid cry-babies and people with overall negative, bitching, sad-depressive attitude who don't want to do anything at all to change that. The reason: They will keep me at that level. I used to be like that and my 3 addictions loved me because I used them as self-medication. An emotional mess is a perfect victim for addictions. I'm finished with this and I need people with a similar mindset in my life. As a guy who suffered from what doctors would call: "Major depression", "Chronic depression" or whatever they call it, I am an example that you can stop being depressed, negative and cry-baby if you really want to.
We didn't choose to become addicts. It just happened. Getting stuck in the past and crying about why we had to become addicts, will do no good now. We didn't choose to be addicts but we choose to stay addicts. Right now, I'm aware of my addictions. I know I am an addict so I have no excuse and nothing to wait for. I write down the plan and start doing it. In the beginning, my negative mind reacted violently to my new, sudden change in attitude and tried to make me go back to being depressed. But I knew one thing: The mind gets used to everything after awhile. Just give it time. Eventually, your new mindset will replace the old one.
Okay, that's my opinion. Peace. Don't live for destructive pleasures!
- I've stopped watching movies or series that have "softcore porn" in them (sex scenes, strippers dancing, naked tits etc). The reason is obvious.
- I've stopped visiting social media completely. The reason: Too many pictures that push me to seeking for more.
- When I need Youtube, I always log in so I could avoid the triggers in the thumbnail;
- I've stopped listening to sad, depressing music. It makes me... you got it: Sad and depressed which leads to: "I'll drink something or PMO to make myself feel a little better". I've thrown away such music and kept only the music without such attitude.
- I've been trying to avoid cry-babies and people with overall negative, bitching, sad-depressive attitude who don't want to do anything at all to change that. The reason: They will keep me at that level. I used to be like that and my 3 addictions loved me because I used them as self-medication. An emotional mess is a perfect victim for addictions. I'm finished with this and I need people with a similar mindset in my life. As a guy who suffered from what doctors would call: "Major depression", "Chronic depression" or whatever they call it, I am an example that you can stop being depressed, negative and cry-baby if you really want to.
We didn't choose to become addicts. It just happened. Getting stuck in the past and crying about why we had to become addicts, will do no good now. We didn't choose to be addicts but we choose to stay addicts. Right now, I'm aware of my addictions. I know I am an addict so I have no excuse and nothing to wait for. I write down the plan and start doing it. In the beginning, my negative mind reacted violently to my new, sudden change in attitude and tried to make me go back to being depressed. But I knew one thing: The mind gets used to everything after awhile. Just give it time. Eventually, your new mindset will replace the old one.
Okay, that's my opinion. Peace. Don't live for destructive pleasures!
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changemylife
Guest
Reminder for myself why I must not edge: Anytime I edged in the past, I became anxious. I felt good, without anxiety, before that and then I started edging and my anxiety raised like a danger indicator in a video game. I will not edge, I don't need this anxiety in my day.
Savagesauce
Member
Good steps toward progress Changemylife! We seem to be doing similar things: avoiding negativity and letting go of harmful media. I hope it serves you well.
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changemylife
Guest
Savagesauce said:
That's right, thanks a lot, man! Thanks for your support!
Well, I looked at what fueled my addictions and I tried to avoid them. Negativity was a big part because it kept me depressed and addictions like depressed people. Media sneaks more and more "softcore porn" and they don't call it like that. I became sick of being their "target client". "Let's put some tits, some fucking and this guy will bite."
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changemylife
Guest
Fuck porn.
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changemylife
Guest
Humans have the ability to adapt to anything. If you feel that it's too scary outside of your comfort zone, remember that you will get used to it and then you won't be afraid anymore. If you don't want to do something because of fear, understand that you adapt to fear. You just need a little more time, that's all.
"Hold on, man! You have no idea what you're talking about! If you are scared, can you really face this fear for that period of time until you get used to it?" said the junkie who was afraid to live his bedroom.
"Of course. You face fear and then you get used to fear. Because you have 2 choices: Have the life you want or have nothing. Which one do you choose?" I said.
"I want to have the life I want but I'm scared to do it!"
"Forgive me for being over the top for a second but if I pointed a gun to your head, would you do it?"
"Huh? Well, if you put it this way... Yeah, I guess so."
"Remember that your fear of leaving your comfort zone is smaller than the fear you would have with that gun to your head."
"Hold on, man! You have no idea what you're talking about! If you are scared, can you really face this fear for that period of time until you get used to it?" said the junkie who was afraid to live his bedroom.
"Of course. You face fear and then you get used to fear. Because you have 2 choices: Have the life you want or have nothing. Which one do you choose?" I said.
"I want to have the life I want but I'm scared to do it!"
"Forgive me for being over the top for a second but if I pointed a gun to your head, would you do it?"
"Huh? Well, if you put it this way... Yeah, I guess so."
"Remember that your fear of leaving your comfort zone is smaller than the fear you would have with that gun to your head."