chirmtaking
Member
Day 8 Hardmode. Have had a cold since Monday, which funnily enough seems to help the challenge as my libido is almost null. Onwards and upwards.
Sentimental_geek
Active Member
So today is day 12 of my reboot.
But it is day one of doing free January, as I've had a week or so of the odd bit of peaking and edging. Felt okay today actually. Not much in the way of urges.
But it is day one of doing free January, as I've had a week or so of the odd bit of peaking and edging. Felt okay today actually. Not much in the way of urges.
S
switched_off
Guest
My January challenge is going well and I'm finding it easy to stay away from all the dopamine micro-dose sources, like Instagram, I had continued to mindlessly browse since quitting porn last September.
My only exposure to mildly provocative images was a viral post on FB for a clothing retailer called Beginning Boutique in Australia, where all these women were taking the piss out of the skimpiness of the bikinis etc, commenting that their flaps would be blowing in the wind if they were to wear something like that
It made me laugh and was mildly liberating because I felt a sense of belonging alongside all the normal women of all shapes and sizes, rather than the idealized and supposed perfect image of the model who we are all supposed to lust after or want to be (depending on our gender).
I no longer want to be a slave to these images (and videos), porn or otherwise, which are in no way representative of the vast majority of human beings. OK, my wife is not a twenty-something nymphette that is willing to act like a sex robot and satisfy my every deviant wish. But she is my wife, she knows me better than anyone else and with my brain in normal mode, we are capable of fulfilling each other in a way that porn cannot come near to replacing.
Keep strong everyone, break free from our slavery to porn!!
My only exposure to mildly provocative images was a viral post on FB for a clothing retailer called Beginning Boutique in Australia, where all these women were taking the piss out of the skimpiness of the bikinis etc, commenting that their flaps would be blowing in the wind if they were to wear something like that
It made me laugh and was mildly liberating because I felt a sense of belonging alongside all the normal women of all shapes and sizes, rather than the idealized and supposed perfect image of the model who we are all supposed to lust after or want to be (depending on our gender).I no longer want to be a slave to these images (and videos), porn or otherwise, which are in no way representative of the vast majority of human beings. OK, my wife is not a twenty-something nymphette that is willing to act like a sex robot and satisfy my every deviant wish. But she is my wife, she knows me better than anyone else and with my brain in normal mode, we are capable of fulfilling each other in a way that porn cannot come near to replacing.
Keep strong everyone, break free from our slavery to porn!!
HandSolong
Member
Day 10
I'm 10 days in. Hard Mode (I think). I haven't relapsed but I've definitely substituted M'ing myself to death with eating myself to death. Is this happening to anyone else? My cravings for restaurant foods have gone through the roof.
I feel lonely. I feel depressed. I keep telling myself that it's just withdrawal causing me to think those thoughts.
I've never been a drug addict but I did experiment with cocaine a dozen times give or take. I usually acted out when I did experiment.....surprise, surprise! I keep having drug thoughts/cravings and I haven't touched the stuff in over a decade. Thoughts of ways I acted out when I experimented have flooded my consciousness occasionally throughout these past 9 days.
I tried to attend an SA meeting last night but only two others were there and it wrapped up just as I walked in the door (about 10 minutes late). They told me about an SAA meeting tonight that I'm considering attending. I've tried twelve step before but it didn't really work for me. I'm returning to them because I've been feeling strong cravings to just interact with people. It's a little scary because I'm an African American on Long Island (NY) and from what I've experienced so far since moving here in 2013 is that black and white don't really intermingle out here. I'm probably going to have a drink beforehand to find the nerve to go in. I had two drinks last night before going to the SA meeting.
Thanks for reading.
I'm 10 days in. Hard Mode (I think). I haven't relapsed but I've definitely substituted M'ing myself to death with eating myself to death. Is this happening to anyone else? My cravings for restaurant foods have gone through the roof.
I feel lonely. I feel depressed. I keep telling myself that it's just withdrawal causing me to think those thoughts.
I've never been a drug addict but I did experiment with cocaine a dozen times give or take. I usually acted out when I did experiment.....surprise, surprise! I keep having drug thoughts/cravings and I haven't touched the stuff in over a decade. Thoughts of ways I acted out when I experimented have flooded my consciousness occasionally throughout these past 9 days.
I tried to attend an SA meeting last night but only two others were there and it wrapped up just as I walked in the door (about 10 minutes late). They told me about an SAA meeting tonight that I'm considering attending. I've tried twelve step before but it didn't really work for me. I'm returning to them because I've been feeling strong cravings to just interact with people. It's a little scary because I'm an African American on Long Island (NY) and from what I've experienced so far since moving here in 2013 is that black and white don't really intermingle out here. I'm probably going to have a drink beforehand to find the nerve to go in. I had two drinks last night before going to the SA meeting.
Thanks for reading.
C
changemylife
Guest
Hand Solong said:
Food craving happens to me when my anxiety raises. I am constantly hungry and eating, even late at night. I didn't have this until my breakdown in 2009 and then I had a long period of hunger problems. I used to go out with something in my pocket all the time because if I didn't eat, I felt sick. I am guessing that it happened because of my nervous system wrecked by the breakdown.
What I would like to say is that we must fight not to substitute an addiction for another and also, if we have more than 1 addiction (my case), we must try not to indulge in the other addiction more because now we're staying away from porn. My drinking went through the roof anytime I relapsed because I felt so low and depressed and I tried to use that to elevate myself (which is only kidding yourself cause it doesn't elevate anything. On the contrary, I don't feel the alcohol euphoria cause I'm numbed because of too much PMO). I've relapsed 3 times this month, binged twice (you don't even know how much it pisses me off) but I've been staying away from alcohol despise this which is a good thing. Alcohol will not save me.
P
Psyc Ops
Guest
10. Clear. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNEJXKTSkYM
Never going back.
Never going back.
H
HumbleRich
Guest
Day 39/90. Keep it up, guys.
Rich
Rich
C
changemylife
Guest
Day 2 hard mode. I should've had 11 days, for Christ's sake.
chirmtaking
Member
Day 10 hardmode. Weird thing happened to me while having a siesta yesterday afternoon. Almost unconsciously, I found myself masturbating prone against the bed sheets - something I have never done (I've always masturbated supine). I stopped when I realised what was going on, but my mind was flooded with erotic thoughts (interestingly, not porn flashbacks, but memories of previous real-life sexual encounters), and I had to make a real effort to stop myself MO'ing. Since then, I have a noticed a lot of tension in my groin area - classic blue balls. It feels like then only way to relieve it is to release some semen, but I am hoping it will pass today and I can continue towards 30 days hardmode. Good luck to everyone else.
P
Psyc Ops
Guest
11 clear.
P
Psyc Ops
Guest
12. No porn. Clear.
C
changemylife
Guest
3rd day hard mode. I should've had 12 days, maaaan! It's my 12th day without alcohol.
Sentimental_geek
Active Member
Thats my attempted fucked as I just relapsed :-(
C
changemylife
Guest
Sentimental_geek said:
How much did you have, 2 weeks?
joepanic
Respected Member
Day 12 in the challenge keeping 100% clean also day 41 of my total reboot things progressing well almost half way to the big 90 this is my 3rd attempt and each one seemed to become easier I believe from all the reading education and understanding of what our illness is and how to best fight it and beat it
Post often it helped me it will help you
Post often it helped me it will help you
Sentimental_geek
Active Member
changemylife said:
15 Days but a bit of peeking and the odd bit of edging. 2 days hardmode then a fucking relapse! Gonna try again. Story of my life
C
changemylife
Guest
Sentimental_geek said:
Sorry, bro. I've relapsed 3 times this month, in only 12 days, I've binged twice, I know what it's like. Same vicious circle where I'm trapped.
H
HumbleRich
Guest
Cut it out, guys. Clean means NO PORN, or even erotica, and if you are cutting out masturbation then no mb. You guys who are edging or peeking aren't rebooting. You're just building your own demise. It is time to.get serious. That means unless there is a real naked woman in your bedroom it is no deal. Time to get serious.
Rich
Rich