Exodus
- Thread starter MosesY
- Start date
Hi MosesY,
I just read your posts....really glad you are here.
One day at a time....sometimes one moment at a time...this can be overcome. You can do this.
For me, part of the biggest help I have gotten has been just getting outside my own head and my own thoughts, and connecting with other people in a meaningful way. So, I wanted to let you know that it's good to see you here fighting back against the addiction.
NGU
I just read your posts....really glad you are here.
One day at a time....sometimes one moment at a time...this can be overcome. You can do this.
For me, part of the biggest help I have gotten has been just getting outside my own head and my own thoughts, and connecting with other people in a meaningful way. So, I wanted to let you know that it's good to see you here fighting back against the addiction.
NGU
MosesY
Active Member
I appreciate the encouragement. Sunday I wil celebrate 90 days freedom from porn and 86 days freedom from alcohol. An old girlfriend messaged me today and sent me a friend request saying she forgives me. I hope to be able to talk things over with her and gradually over a period of time possibly get back together. The timing is really amazing; 90 days freedom from porn and contact with an old girlfriend on the same weekend.
MosesY
Active Member
Today is day 89. I went from visiting a porn site every day to almost 90 days freedom from porn. It would not have been possible without God changing my heart and I give Him the glory for that. Today I am doing laundry and grocery shopping then the rest of the day is for relaxing. I have an old Coleman iron I plan on messing around with today and I have the lantern that was my dad's lantern I plan on lighting today and tomorrow in honor of my father.
workinprogressUK
Well-Known Member
Sincere congrats, Moses. You've worked soooo hard to make this change. Hat's off to you, Sir. Wishing you every success for the future.
MosesY
Active Member
99 days clean now. The other day I was really tempted to go visit a site again but various things such as my blocker kept me from it. I am not counting it as a relapse because I never actually did anything and came to my senses. After being without porn for so long it no longer holds the appeal for me that it used to.
J
J01
Guest
Looks like 100 days by now for you-very impressive, but built on a lot of hard work. Good job, and keep going!
J
J01
Guest
Bueller?......Bueller?.....Bueller? What is going on Moses? How is it going?
MosesY
Active Member
I relapsed some this weekend. I reset my timer and am on day 3 now, The thing I found out is that porn no longer holds an attraction for me, it doesn't turn me on like it used to, I see how fake it is. There was no specific trigger. I think it will be a long time before I am tempted to look at it again.
J
J01
Guest
It's all about today and moving forward. You have made a huge stride toward the goal-good job and keep going!
J
J01
Guest
Glad to hear from you and nice to know that you are in a good place and doing alright. Keep fighting.
workinprogressUK
Well-Known Member
Hope you stay resistant, Moses. Porn is not an option.
Chicagocold
Member
MosesY, great story and glad to hear you made it for over a month. It's great to hear from other guys going through the same clean - relapse - clean cycle and not giving up. Life without porn is definitely better. It's great to hear you working through your social anxiety too. Being out of your house and around others helps.
Just be careful and never let your guard down completely. I've been through several, long reboot attempts prior to getting on this site. All were 3-5 months completely clean. By then you should be good right? Wrong! Life was better and my mind had settled way down. I felt calmer and more dominant. Eased up on stupid behavior like road rage, wanting to fight, obsessing over girls butts. Sex life was good. Morning wood...check. Each time I failed because I let my guard down, specifically on small triggers. Clicking on that stupid link with bikini photos of some celebrity. Clicking on an ad for women's underwear to see the picture in higher resolution. Even when doing these mindless, almost meaningless things I knew deep down that there is no reason to do it. Since I took that step it allowed my subconscious to subtly justify taking the next step which was actively seeking out photos. You can guess where it went from there.
At the point of clicking on the first photos it would have been so easy to turn back. A quick "this is dumb. What's the purpose?" and I would have shut it down and moved on. Easy. A few weeks later when I was about to click on one of the videos that used to really get me going and letting my hands wander, it was like turning an aircraft carrier. Going back after all the relapses and figuring out what went wrong I came to the same conclusion - I thought I was "cured" and let my guard down. The relapse built for weeks in tiny, easily "justifiable as okay" steps. Each one broke down a little more resistance to getting back to PMO.
Stay strong.
Just be careful and never let your guard down completely. I've been through several, long reboot attempts prior to getting on this site. All were 3-5 months completely clean. By then you should be good right? Wrong! Life was better and my mind had settled way down. I felt calmer and more dominant. Eased up on stupid behavior like road rage, wanting to fight, obsessing over girls butts. Sex life was good. Morning wood...check. Each time I failed because I let my guard down, specifically on small triggers. Clicking on that stupid link with bikini photos of some celebrity. Clicking on an ad for women's underwear to see the picture in higher resolution. Even when doing these mindless, almost meaningless things I knew deep down that there is no reason to do it. Since I took that step it allowed my subconscious to subtly justify taking the next step which was actively seeking out photos. You can guess where it went from there.
At the point of clicking on the first photos it would have been so easy to turn back. A quick "this is dumb. What's the purpose?" and I would have shut it down and moved on. Easy. A few weeks later when I was about to click on one of the videos that used to really get me going and letting my hands wander, it was like turning an aircraft carrier. Going back after all the relapses and figuring out what went wrong I came to the same conclusion - I thought I was "cured" and let my guard down. The relapse built for weeks in tiny, easily "justifiable as okay" steps. Each one broke down a little more resistance to getting back to PMO.
Stay strong.