Uk65tantra

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cranm329

Guest
Day 47: No PM
Focussed on DIY today. Keep active mentally and physically.
Thanks to all the guys on here who have given helpful advice.
 
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cranm329

Guest
Day 48: No PM
Thanks BigMog. Busy Sunday. Best way to avoid temptations. Have to be really careful. Watched 2001: A Space Odyssey last night. Even a harmless movie contains scenes which, previously, were provocative. The programming goes so deep and, I guess, will take years to rectify. Must ever again reinforce those neural pathways.
 
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cranm329

Guest
Days 49:and 50: No PM
A lot on at present. No inclination to act out. Bad memories still there. Stress, tiredness and boredom are risk factors.
 
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cranm329

Guest
Day 51: No PM
Thanks for the support WiPUK. Life is so much better and simpler without the P. So much effort for no real gain...in fact loss. Understand more now what the Divine phrase " The wages of sin is death" really mean. PMO is self abuse; far from the Divine masterplan. All it brings is shame and loss. It is 'sin' against the body which is a precious possession of every man (& woman).I have damaged my eyes, brain and genital system by indulging in years of self harming. Gladly, l am on the road to recovery and living in the unique honour given to each of us.
 
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cranm329

Guest
Day 53: No P.
Been busy. Sport good yesterday without distractions. Woke up hot in night and M. for a few minutes. No P. or fantasy involved so not a relapse. Danger though because the M. habit started with difficulty sleeping a long time ago. Extra vigilance required.
 
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cranm329

Guest
Day 55: No PM
Felt upset this morning after wife asked whether I still had unwanted feelings. She needed reassurance that she is #1 in my life. She is. My messed up brain keeps trying to convince me that I'm still addicted. Technically, according to the experts, I am and will be for ever. Not good enough!. I refuse to accept that idea and the wrong neural pathways that have conditioned my thinking.
 
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cranm329

Guest
8 weeks: No PM
Feeling the benefits of PMO abstinence. Increased energy and libido. Starting to feel 30 years younger and even getting heterosexual urges but these are overshadowed by marital love. Must not get derailed by lust.
 
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J01

Guest
Great job on the steady road to 8 weeks already.  Like what you said about marital love.  Keep vigilant!
 
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cranm329

Guest
Day 60: No PM
The combination of marital openness, tantric-style sex, mindfulness, tai chi, focussed exercise and honouring myself and others* has helped get me this far. The urges and temptations are definitely less severe than first 30 days. Bring on the next 30.
*Includes porn exhibitors by not watching them.
 
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cranm329

Guest
Day 63: No PM
Keeping busy. Any remnants of PIED seem to have gone. Discoverd that watermelon juice seems to enhance E. Must be citrulline induced nitric oxide generation. Almost same feeling as taking V. which I tried briefly last year. May be all mind over body; whatever, it is good to feel physically 'normal' again and certainly boosts my self-esteem. Beware of over-confidence.
 
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cranm329

Guest
Thanks WiPUK. Getting some distracting dreams with M.E. Have to be careful not to get triggered by rising libido and pent up sexual energy.
 
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cranm329

Guest
10 weeks no PMO
All well.  Feels like driving a Ferrari after years of being in a suburban at 35mph. Never realised that PMO robs you of vitality and energy. Another 20 days to the first target of 90 days.
 
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cranm329

Guest
72 days: No PMO
Marital openness is improving. Wife has asked that I don't post any details of our relationship on here. I respect that and gladly comply. Still have  deep discussions about my progress. Unsettling. Consciously, I no longer want P. However, there is that hidden creepy feeling that the desires may still be there. It times a long time.
 
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cranm329

Guest
11 weeks no PMO
Staying 'present' and slowly dealing with the underlying stuff. Maybe Sigmund Freud was right about the Id. It may be my unconscious self but it is not my ID (identity)
 
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