ShadeTrenicin
Well-Known Member
stepbystep said:
Hey Buddy,
Good luck with taking some time off. I hope that it will work out for you. The beauty of this is that if you do decide to come back more were are always here for you. Take care!
stepbystep's journal
- Thread starter stepbystep
- Start date
Hey Buddy,
Good luck with taking some time off. I hope that it will work out for you. The beauty of this is that if you do decide to come back more were are always here for you. Take care!
stepbystep
Active Member
Thanks Shade. I do plan on doing a 90 day hard mode reboot but will visit this forum less often. Day 2 no PMO.
stepbystep
Active Member
Day 5 no PMO.
stepbystep
Active Member
Day 4 no PMO.
ShadeTrenicin
Well-Known Member
Hey Buddy,
How's it going over there? I saw that you went from 5 to 4, what happened?
Keep strong, keep safe and keep going!
How's it going over there? I saw that you went from 5 to 4, what happened?
Keep strong, keep safe and keep going!
stepbystep
Active Member
ShadeTrenicin said:
Now I went to 3 ;D . Day 3 no PMO. I?ve just not been posting as much here but I will do more now. I really do not want PMO anymore in my life. Going hard mode. I?ve been stuck in the belief that PMO is okay, it is normal, and everyone does it. But the truth is, it makes me very anxious and reduces my confidence. Back on track. Right after PMO, I think I don?t enjoy this and I?m not doing this. But within a week, I?m too horny, convince myself of the belief, and go back.
stepbystep
Active Member
Day no PMO.
stepbystep
Active Member
Day 5 no PMO. No major triggers so far but once in a while I get flashback to images and videos.
stepbystep said:
You got this, sbs! If you can do 5 days, you can do 10, 15, 20, etc...
I know memories can be difficult, but keep in mind, they're just thoughts, and they don't have power to make you use.
Focus on your breath, and allow the urges to come and go without judgement, without responding to them. Soon, you'll realize that you're in control of your present and of your future.
Be well.
It is true what you say about porn making one anxious and reducing their confidence. I think for some guys, it maybe makes little difference. For most guys, I think it makes a noticeable difference. And for guys like us, it really makes a HUGE difference. My confidence and anxiety is night and day when comparing porn vs no porn.stepbystep said:
stepbystep
Active Member
Thanks Phineas and SebNZ for the encouragement. Day 8 no PMO. I have to be careful this week because of the holidays. It's definitely going to be tough but I'll do everything to be sober. I need a clear plan which I'm planning to make today.
stepbystep said:
You're welcome.
A plan or strategy is a great idea, and if you share it with us, even better!
Be well...
stepbystep
Active Member
Day 9 no PMO. This is actually further than I usually go and hoping to continue the streak this week. Yesterday I created a plan for this week as I know the holidays can be challenging. The plan is mostly the things I want to accomplish during the week at home personally and with family. Lots of cleaning, reading, and reaching out to family and friends. Besides that I'm going to try the AWARE strategy I learned from Phineas's journal. It's a way to overcome urges through mindfulness.
One thing that's motivating me this time is avoiding porn because of the anxiety it causes me generally and also about my hair loss. I know there's no scientific evidence for PMO causing hair loss but I've found from my past experience that my best hair was at times when I had significant sobriety. Maybe this is mostly because anxiety and stress is not good for hair. Staying away from PMO makes me happy in the long run which is what I want.
One thing that's motivating me this time is avoiding porn because of the anxiety it causes me generally and also about my hair loss. I know there's no scientific evidence for PMO causing hair loss but I've found from my past experience that my best hair was at times when I had significant sobriety. Maybe this is mostly because anxiety and stress is not good for hair. Staying away from PMO makes me happy in the long run which is what I want.
stepbystep
Active Member
Screwed up. I went beyond what I usually do and used worse porn . I just feel like hard mode is not healthy for me. I?m thinking of just MO 1-2 times a week and then avoid porn as my ideal. This is what feels right to me after so many tries. Anyway more to think about later. I?m proud that I gave it my best but at the end I was just white knuckling it.
. I just feel like hard mode is not healthy for me. I?m thinking of just MO 1-2 times a week and then avoid porn as my ideal. This is what feels right to me after so many tries. Anyway more to think about later. I?m proud that I gave it my best but at the end I was just white knuckling it.Hey try not to stress about it too much Step. We've all been there and I know how a relapse involving more extreme content always leaves an especially bitter taste. Try to remember this 'worse porn' does not define your true self or values. It is not you. It is merely a symptom of addiction you're currently addressing.
Perhaps rather than worrying about your reboot strategy or MO-ing right away after relapsing, it would be better to focus on the short term for the next two days and do things that will get you 'back on track' to a healthier state of mind. Then you may be in a better position to focus on what strategies or direction you would like to take your reboot.
Perhaps rather than worrying about your reboot strategy or MO-ing right away after relapsing, it would be better to focus on the short term for the next two days and do things that will get you 'back on track' to a healthier state of mind. Then you may be in a better position to focus on what strategies or direction you would like to take your reboot.
stepbystep
Active Member
Thanks Orbiter. That?s a good point. I?m going to get some distance from what happened yesterday and decide what to do in recovery moving forward today or tomorrow. Day 1 no P.
Great job on the 9 days, sbs!
You're actually in a very good position right now, because you recognize that you were white-knuckling it, which means depending too much on sheer will-power.
Please don't shame yourself on the 'more extreme content', it's the lower brain wanting a greater hit of dopamine.
I really can't add much more to what Orbiter said, as his words are so helpful. But, please forgive yourself as soon as possible, as it's not too late to turn this around. The quicker you and I can bounce back after a lapse, the better.
You're also in a good place now because you're learning that there's a whole bunch of unexplored strategies out there you can try and experiment with.
What you're certain about now, though, is your determination to quit- your focus on changing yourself is stronger than ever!
You're actually in a very good position right now, because you recognize that you were white-knuckling it, which means depending too much on sheer will-power.
Please don't shame yourself on the 'more extreme content', it's the lower brain wanting a greater hit of dopamine.
I really can't add much more to what Orbiter said, as his words are so helpful. But, please forgive yourself as soon as possible, as it's not too late to turn this around. The quicker you and I can bounce back after a lapse, the better.
You're also in a good place now because you're learning that there's a whole bunch of unexplored strategies out there you can try and experiment with.
What you're certain about now, though, is your determination to quit- your focus on changing yourself is stronger than ever!
stepbystep
Active Member
Not doing great in terms of sobriety. I guess I?m internally struggling with my beliefs and what I want. I feel like PMO is not good for me but it?s also what I?ve used throughout my life to manage my life. I guess I?m working through the why right now. More on this later.
Readytoreboot
Active Member
Hey Sbs, I can defo relate to using PMO as a tool to manage situations in my life, especially the tough ones. PMO was always there for me and has been my coping mechanism which makes PMO even more challenging to overcome for me in some ways. I believe sticking to the new ideals I want to live by and reaffirming myself of them everyday has helped me get thru this 1st week of no PMO. I wrote down notes of what I want and why I want it to re read to myself in the morning and night, So far that has been a helpful tool to reprogramming my mind. Stay strong buddy
stepbystep
Active Member
Thanks Readytoreboot. Good idea reaffirming with reaffirming ideals. I?ll write down my values and ideals this week. Day 1 no P.