stepbystep
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Day 2 no PMO.
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stepbystep
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Day 3 no PMO. Doing fine. No real triggers.
stepbystep
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Day 4 PMO free. I can feel more sexual energy and thoughts appearing. Im entering the hardest phase to get past for me: days 5 - 20.
Good job, SBS!
Be careful of these illusions we sell ourselves, days 5-20, or oblivion, etc... These are all just thoughts in our head. While our milestones are true, if we can do 1-4 days, we can do 1-4 months, years, decades.
When I reach a milestone, I celebrate it, but also remember that I can easily go the other way if I lose that vigilance. I used to dread it, like, "Uh oh, I'm getting near my threshold number"- as if a lapse was right over that horizon. But now I tell myself, "I did it yesterday, I can do it today- why should there be a difference?"
stepbystep
Active Member
Good point Phineas. It is possible. If I can get through 1 day, I can get through another.
Day 7 no P, day 3 no PMO. I MOd on Friday thinking it?s totally fine to do that. The truth is I need a reboot. I?m reaffirming that this is really what I want to do.
One thing I really struggle with is thinking that I NEED P. It reduces my migraine symptoms. And on the other hand, P makes me feel anxious. I think that if I use P, it is causing my hair loss. Both are untrue, but I?d like to believe the latter if it helps me more.
I?ve done this once before (completely sober for more than 2 years! I can?t even believe it right now actually). That time I had an accountability partner and was working the 12 steps actively. There?s no reason I cannot do it again.
Day 7 no P, day 3 no PMO. I MOd on Friday thinking it?s totally fine to do that. The truth is I need a reboot. I?m reaffirming that this is really what I want to do.
One thing I really struggle with is thinking that I NEED P. It reduces my migraine symptoms. And on the other hand, P makes me feel anxious. I think that if I use P, it is causing my hair loss. Both are untrue, but I?d like to believe the latter if it helps me more.
I?ve done this once before (completely sober for more than 2 years! I can?t even believe it right now actually). That time I had an accountability partner and was working the 12 steps actively. There?s no reason I cannot do it again.
stepbystep
Active Member
Day 9 no P, day 5 no PMO. My initial goal is 90 days of no PMO as a reboot. I?m thinking (sadly it feels) no more MO ever for me. That seems extreme but I?m convinced that I cannot manage MO if given the chance no matter how long I stay away. It?s not as amazing as I make it out to be. I feel PMO for so long has really just ruined being able to MO healthily in general for me. And I?m willing to take the pain of staying away forever. Maybe I?m speaking too soon 
but this is how I?m feeling right now.
but this is how I?m feeling right now.
I like where your thoughts are going with this, sbs!
This is particularly true if MO involves fantasy, which it almost always has for me. Maybe there are rare exceptions to this, where one just 'goes for it'. But for me (speaking only of myself) it always creaks open the door for P/MO. In fact, my view is that porn is only an elaboration on masturbation itself.
Again, in my view, MO is overrated. Yes, it feels good, but autoeroticism always seems like the epitome of selfishness. I know, that's a judgement call on it, but if these thoughts open up or expand current views, great.
I have no doubt that you can change whatever habit or behavior gets in the way of your goals, brother!
This is particularly true if MO involves fantasy, which it almost always has for me. Maybe there are rare exceptions to this, where one just 'goes for it'. But for me (speaking only of myself) it always creaks open the door for P/MO. In fact, my view is that porn is only an elaboration on masturbation itself.
Again, in my view, MO is overrated. Yes, it feels good, but autoeroticism always seems like the epitome of selfishness. I know, that's a judgement call on it, but if these thoughts open up or expand current views, great.
I have no doubt that you can change whatever habit or behavior gets in the way of your goals, brother!
stepbystep
Active Member
Thanks for the encouragement, Phineas!
Day 11 no P, day 7 no PMO. I?m happy to meet my first milestone of a week of no PMO. There were challenges sometimes when P thoughts and fantasies came to mind, but it wasn?t as bad. The biggest difference this time could be that I really decided I?m going to go without PMO in the long run and it?s not such a big deal. Yea it?s hard but all I have to do is avoid fantasy when recognizing it and do not touch myself. Of course I have to stay watchful as always.
Day 11 no P, day 7 no PMO. I?m happy to meet my first milestone of a week of no PMO. There were challenges sometimes when P thoughts and fantasies came to mind, but it wasn?t as bad. The biggest difference this time could be that I really decided I?m going to go without PMO in the long run and it?s not such a big deal. Yea it?s hard but all I have to do is avoid fantasy when recognizing it and do not touch myself. Of course I have to stay watchful as always.
stepbystep
Active Member
I slipped up. I started reading about how it is natural to release every so often and our bodies create sperm all the time. Just this morning I was committed to avoiding but I went right back. I did MO. For P, I did use a music video (no nudity but racy) briefly. So I?m resetting everything. I?m happy I came this far and it is very hard so I?m proud of that. I guess next time I should avoid reading online about that MO is okay.
I am also looking to achieve no PMO but not much luck I go 10 days at most and then it all comes down so easily like an earth quake . Good luck with your progress keep pushing keep patting your back and never accept defeat and give up or walk away . Lets face it and go through it !!! And make it to the other end of this dark habit tunnel to get the light that gives us real peace and satisfaction.
stepbystep
Active Member
Day 0 no P.
Clean slate for you. Find out what worked, and what didn't work with your plan, your approach.
Of course you're not starting over, but continuing the fight.
I think you already identified 'reading about' stuff lately is what caused the lapse. Just learn what lesson you need to, and bounce back the sooner the better.
Be well.
Of course you're not starting over, but continuing the fight.
I think you already identified 'reading about' stuff lately is what caused the lapse. Just learn what lesson you need to, and bounce back the sooner the better.
Be well.
stepbystep
Active Member
Thanks Phineas. I still have the same reading about MO problem still. I continue to read about it and it?s making it harder to for me to stop because everyone is saying MO is natural. It is confusing me.
Day 2 no PMO.
Day 2 no PMO.
Yeah, I hear you... different signals can be confusing.
Just have to know what you want, what works for you, or what your needs are, what your goals are, and base your decisions on that.
It will eventually make sense, whichever way you go.
Be well.
Just have to know what you want, what works for you, or what your needs are, what your goals are, and base your decisions on that.
It will eventually make sense, whichever way you go.
Be well.
stepbystep said:
MO really isn't "natural". Remove the thought. Sex with another human is natural which is what we want to wire to.
I am on my 7th day of no PMO today, I struggle a lot with sexual thoughts and fantasies. Thanks to when i was first cured of the PMO and able to get out of my PIED and have sex i don't have as strong an urge to watch P. My bigger problem is porn substitutes. Sexting and playing out porn scenarios in my head and then edging to it (which is much worse than watching porn and quickly getting it out of the system with MO). The hours and hours of dopamine rush just lead to extreme PIED.
This latest reboot of mine is interesting. I am having morning wood every day for the past 5 days. The morning wood which i had lost thanks to my PIED is back and it stays if I turn around in bed. It actually is painfully hard and makes me want to pee between 4 and 5 am in the morning and wakes me up. However, as with other sufferers of PIED it goes away pretty quickly when I stand up.
recovery000
Member
Het stepbystep,
It is not an easy question, and culturally there is not a clear answer. I don't find M necessarily natural. For many reasons: it seems to me that M is not a natural way to release sperm, it is more like a forced way. On the other hand the sperm is wasted, it is not accomplishing its natural function. In reference to the last point, I've read that even if the sperm do not fertilize the egg, it is absorbed by the uterus internal wall and its nutrients are utilized by the women's body, to the point that it seems to help preventing conditions in the woman, such as depression. Maybe I am biased, but I would not recommend M as part of a reboot. In my experience, hard mode is more trustworthy and effective.
It is not an easy question, and culturally there is not a clear answer. I don't find M necessarily natural. For many reasons: it seems to me that M is not a natural way to release sperm, it is more like a forced way. On the other hand the sperm is wasted, it is not accomplishing its natural function. In reference to the last point, I've read that even if the sperm do not fertilize the egg, it is absorbed by the uterus internal wall and its nutrients are utilized by the women's body, to the point that it seems to help preventing conditions in the woman, such as depression. Maybe I am biased, but I would not recommend M as part of a reboot. In my experience, hard mode is more trustworthy and effective.
stepbystep
Active Member
Thanks guys for the thoughts and encouraging words. I?ve decided to go hard mode and avoid MO in addition to P. I?m thinking I won?t go back to MO again because it?s not necessary. It?s all easy to think this but I hope I stick to this when triggers and challenges do come up.
Day 11 no PMO. Lately I had the chance to spend time with family and friends over the holidays so staying away has been easier than usual. I?ve realized it?s not as hard to stop if I?m very busy and living life. That?s my plan moving forward. To want to stay away from PMO and focusing on doing the things I want in my life.
Day 11 no PMO. Lately I had the chance to spend time with family and friends over the holidays so staying away has been easier than usual. I?ve realized it?s not as hard to stop if I?m very busy and living life. That?s my plan moving forward. To want to stay away from PMO and focusing on doing the things I want in my life.
Good choices, sbs!
I've come to discover that the 'whole thing' is kind of a unit for me, as I've mentioned above. If I indulge in one area, the other area is not far away...
But good, that will give you a totally 'clean slate' to work from, and you'll be able to recognize the lower brain's activities faster when it comes to this.
Good luck on your awesome approach, just living life!
I've come to discover that the 'whole thing' is kind of a unit for me, as I've mentioned above. If I indulge in one area, the other area is not far away...
But good, that will give you a totally 'clean slate' to work from, and you'll be able to recognize the lower brain's activities faster when it comes to this.
Good luck on your awesome approach, just living life!
stepbystep
Active Member
Thanks Phineas!
Day 15 no PMO. I was definitely feeling urges yesterday throughout the day. But, I just focused on going after what I needed and wanted to do during the day. During work time, I was working. During the evening, I spent time with family and went outdoors. I?m so glad I stayed away from PMO. I don?t need it in my life. I feel good. Just one day at a time.
Day 15 no PMO. I was definitely feeling urges yesterday throughout the day. But, I just focused on going after what I needed and wanted to do during the day. During work time, I was working. During the evening, I spent time with family and went outdoors. I?m so glad I stayed away from PMO. I don?t need it in my life. I feel good. Just one day at a time.