Thanks for your kindness @Phineas 808You're not wasting anyone's time here, GM! You're here for you, and we're here for you! Be patient and understanding with yourself, any addiction isn't made over night, nor is it overcome in a day. It takes time. Just always get up, and keep trying.
I highly doubt I deserve it though ! For the kind of jerk I am being from time to time . receiving all the useful suggestions and tips and tricks and ideas to keep away from P from you all and knowing the down side of P binges as well and warnings from my wife as well !
But when the time comes to stop myself those bad instincts and urges , I have always failed and under performed and been a Jerk who throws away all sensible thoughts into trash can and binges on P without any considerations into what it is eventually leave me with !
That’s the problem I am seeing in me!
Lack of honesty with myself !
Lack of love for my well being !
pleasure seeking trumping every other areas of my life !
It’s not how it should be ! But unfortunately it is right now !
Hope I had done better all these years and up until including today in stopping myself and realizing the importance of and loving the reason why I stop my myself from P access and enjoy being sober in my day to day and love the benefits of sobriety, realize it and get glued to it like a permanent tattoo!
I want to inculcate these positive attitudes into my days weeks and months and years !
Day 1 tomorrow