I have no idea whats going on

IamMayor

Member
Hello everyone, I told myself I wasn't going to be posting stuff until I was sure I have to, well the time is now. Today marks the 90th day on the record PMO free, but my days are actually more than that because I started counting on the first of February this year even though the last time I had relapsed was a week or two prior to that date. I can't say I am still the same person because I will be lying, my goal is to go for the rest of my life addiction-free. There are so many things to do in life and being an addict really gets in the way. I don't want to share much right now but in due time fellas, I will spill each and everything that happened since the last time I posted however let me just point out a few wins I have had. Lol, I do not want to jinx it like I did last time on my first 60th day but hey I have no control of the future so whatever happens happens, oh here are those wins.
1- I can now control my sexual urges and the presence or absence of sex doesn't really affect me in a negative way
2- I am more confident now in myself as a person and I have new problems now I would rather deal with than p. addiction.
3- I recently realized I have a productivity problem and my goal right now is to set my priorities straight and really grow as a man.
4- I am a bit scary and intimidating now to other men. I can be a bit enraged sometimes, I don't know if it's a good thing but I am really just standing my ground if I have to and I'm taking quite good care of myself except for the booze but I'm graduating in a month so hey let a man be for a little while huh. I think I just feel respected more I'm not sure which is which but whatever it is I like it.
5- I just feel good, I joined the gym last week. I am just doing great.

P.s I was not in monk mode so the Chaser effect has nothing on me lmao.
 

KeithNMDG21

New Member
I have also realized that I have a productivity problem. I'm very glad to say that it isn't due to porn. I just tend to get sucked into small inconsequential things. Sometimes it's sports, or games that I'll start spending a small amount of time on but then I find myself super distracted from my responsibilities. What are you doing to set your priorities straight? I know what I need to do but am looking for some advice to keep motivating me. Thanks! And I appreciate your words!
 

IamMayor

Member
I have also realized that I have a productivity problem. I'm very glad to say that it isn't due to porn. I just tend to get sucked into small inconsequential things. Sometimes it's sports, or games that I'll start spending a small amount of time on but then I find myself super distracted from my responsibilities. What are you doing to set your priorities straight? I know what I need to do but am looking for some advice to keep motivating me. Thanks! And I appreciate your words!
Lol to be honest i have no idea i am still trying to figure that part out, I now work two jobs 7 days a week so i barely have time to myself. One thing i did though that was good for me was sitting down and writing down everything i really needed to Do. So I am glad to say that it helped a little but right now i am just trying to get this whole new work routine i have. I am also working on a side business i wish to establish well, its already up and running but not as well as i want, i don't know when it will be operating well and automatically but i don't want to quit.One step at a time i will get there.
This sort of makes me grateful i had to go through a reboot because now everything i have to endure i know its just a matter of time and also a bit of determination but mostly just being tired of being the loser 😄.
 

IamMayor

Member
I usually want to post something after a major leap or fall but today I am just going to post for the hell of it.

Unlike my journal title, i now have an idea of what's going on. Its true once you get addicted to something its for life and i Do not intend on going back into that lifeless pit. I now know my lifestyle has to facilitate NoFap . The funny part about NoFap is its not like those self improvement movements, its a get back to normal kind of thing so me thinking about it makes me want to Do it more because i am not trying to be better than anybody i just want to be normal like everyone else.

However once you have conquered an addiction, you are no longer an average man, you are already better than other men, lol the irony, one who has been through the slums can never be compared to one who has always had everything cut out for him. The lessons learnt are far too many for you to be labelled average. Now all I want is to get all i can from life, it sucks i am now in my resentment phase whereby i kinda hate my past self and all he made me go through and the people that abandoned me, disrespected and what not and i know it wasn't their fault an undisciplined man can never claim respect and i am really trying to work on it.

I am just trying to find my way , i am always bored . I am also finding myself drinking too much i hope alcohol is not my next addiction 😂. After all has been said and done i am grateful i am now at this stage, its way more better than the last one.
 

IamMayor

Member
Ok, so I stopped fapping now what ?
😄I know its Crazy, but I just realized there was a time i was actually PMO free and life was just flatlined so i would resort to PMO, but now I am free i really don't know what to Do with my freedom. I mean i used to blame all my current problems on PMO but now oh well idk.

No E.D no PIED no DE no PE....sexually i am OK. But life is more than that true i really should have listened to the guy who was urging me to look at other things other than sex. Right now i am just a guy going to work, coming home to a girl ,repeat cycle.

Im bored and i feel flatlined.
 
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